@Unhidden 18 November 2021

Its my 6th/14th day in quarantine now. It's currently 5:28 am (ph time) There's a lot of drama that happened yesterday... I can't handle my emotion... I keep crying for no reason.... I think I'm going insane! If only I can share the whole details here! I have already managed not to tell anyone what I feel or share just about anything.... Even if I wanted to talk... I'm having trouble explaining...and sometimes when I try to explain they think I'm mad cause I'm using the wrong tone (ykwIm?) Maybe that's one of the reason why some people misinterpret me. There's a lot things I wanted to say to someone or to anyone. Why can't I bring myself to do that....I hate my past it's the reason why I'm suffering in this kind of condition! Why there isn't anyone help me that time? why did I feel responsible for other people's life?...when it's clearly not my fault. For once I want to be selfish. I don't like listening to other people's problem that's not even related to me. Why my parents didn't understand me that time...is abusing a normal thing? and you don't want that person to suffer in jail forever? I wanted to fight for myself, I wanted you guys to fight for me. But what happened? Anyone made me feel that it's all my fault and responsible for everything. Tell me is having depression a stupid thing to feel...and other people thinks that you're just being stupid! When your entire life you're being abuse by someone. And those stupid people around you is just telling you to forget about it! Do they even know what it cause me? I hate being surrounded by stupid people. When I mean stupid...what I mean is blood related. They act like they know you and decide the things what best for you. Idiots! Complaining about my attitude.. do you even know why?! Having this covid and being quarantine away from those stupid people made me feel relieved This is what I want..and this is now my goal. To run out of the house and start my own life and no contacts with them. I want to heal! #NoiseCash