@Soulwriter 20 October 2021 edited more from that month

I wish she didn’t choose masculinity over humility.

I was raised among boys as I was the only daughter of my family. I was told to do all chores, run errands while my brothers spend their time having fun.I was always forced to sleep at a certain time while the boys could stay up late watching movies. I strongly stand by the notion that boys and girls should be raised the same way. I never liked cooking even though I had no choice than to do it. I wanted to play like my brothers but I wasn’t privileged to. My mom made me believe whenever she’s in the kitchen I should be there, indirectly telling me that’s where I belong. I had no control over my own life. I just couldn’t wait to enter the university and leave home for freedom as that was my prayer at the time. Every morning my mom will wake me up to sweep the floor, then wash the dishes, and still run errands while she does the cooking. I felt cheated, why should I be a slave to my brothers? Anytime I try saying anything I was always shut down by my mother. I didn’t blame her for it because I knew she was raised that way and it has been the traditional way of treating girls. I remember an occasion where I wore a gown above my knees, my mom had to call me and said the body of a woman starts from her legs so I should wear clothes that are longer. I was naive, I believed everything I was told and there was nothing I could do to change it. I finished secondary school at 16. My dream was to be a doctor. I was told by my dad to wait till the following year for admission as things were quite easy for us then (to speak positively). I was told to work before the next jamb form comes out which I was happy about, at least I was no longer going to do the house chores or run errands. I agreed to the plan. I was told to be a Power Agent. My job was to pay bills and follow them on mission whenever they want to disconnect the light of people owing, which will also force them to pay. I decided to give it a try. My mom had always been against trousers for ladies as she said they were meant for boys, not women. She made me think it was a sin putting them on. I chose to wears skirts and gowns. I prefer jeans skirts as I love anything that looks smart on me. My first day at work was good, I learned how to use the Baxi-box and POS which were channels for paying the Power bills. My boss was happy I was able to learn quickly and I would be going with other Agents to field (any location to disconnect the debtors) next week. I got home and told my mom everything including the part where the boss said I would be paid twelve thousand naira only which is about ($22). To my sixteen-year-old self, the money was huge, it felt good to earn money through hard work. Days ran fast and the week to go to the field came, I put on a pair of trousers and as I was stepping out I heard my mom say “Go back inside and change those trousers now!!!” Tears rolled down my eyes immediately, I felt my fellow agents were putting on trousers and they looked so good on them. I was thinking I would wear the ones my Aunt had given me earlier that year not knowing my mom won’t allow me wear them. I wanted to wear trousers badly but I had no control over my life. I went in and changed it but cried to work that day and there was no one to console me. I wish my mom knew ladies putting on trousers wasn’t a sin, I wish she knew how comfortable they are on ladies, I wish she knew how sad I became whenever I see it on other girls, I wish she knew trouser doesn’t define who you are or clothes generally, I wish she knew how intimidated I used to be by my friends. About the chores: I wish she didn’t raise us differently, I wish she didn’t make the guys feel so powerful, I wish she didn’t think only the girl is supposed to be in the kitchen, I wish she knew we could unmake convention to make things more just and more complete,I wish she didn’t choose masculinity over humility.