@SimpsonsTriviaAndQuotes

'They sound like my kind of snacks. (BEEPING) Oh. (READING) Oh, my God! Look at these ingredients! "Hydrogenated petroleum oil, "monosodium poisonate, partially de-weaponized plutonium"?'

"Say it, Frenchy. Say "chowdah"!" "Never!"

"Uh, m-me, sir ? Oh, no, not a chance. Only idiots drink beer." "Actually, I was wondering if you'd join me, my treat." "Oh, well, if someone of your stature can enjoy a beer, maybe I'm all turned around on the subject.... Wait, we're not having a drug test tomorrow, are we ?" "No."

"Wait till he steps on this flaming bag of- Lisa's college fund?!"

"All the kids in Springfield are S.O.B.s." "Gabbo's kind of language has no place on or off TV. And that's my two cents. ... That oughta hold those S.O.B.s. ... What the--"

"And who's selling the uranium to the terrorists? Mmm. Mm-hmm. Montgomery Burns. Now we wait." "Let go of me! I'm innocent!" "Whoa, he's in trouble."

"Then Father Sean quoted Eminem in his sermon. And in art class, we painted Saint Joan burning at the stake. And mine was the grossest. (CACKLING) Catholics rock!" "(MUTTERS) Bart, I'm glad you had fun. But I wouldn't get too into that Catholic church with all the sitting and standing and kneeling."

"What's your name?" "Michael Jackson." "Doesn't ring a bell." "Heard of MTV or Motown?" "No." "'Beat It'?" "You beat it." "'Thriller'?" "What was that?" "'Thriller.'" "No."

"Come on, come on, come on... Oh. Yes! Whoo-Whoo! Three liberty bells! That will be $10,000, Apu." "Congratulations, Mr. Homer." "Thank you." "If I could see the ticket..." "There it is." "Please to be removing your thumb."

"According to the gas chromatograph the secret ingredient is... love?! Who's been screwing with this thing?"

"Hi, you've reached the Corey Hotline-- 4.95 a minute. Here are some words that rhyme with Corey: Glory, story-- allegory, Montessori."

"I want a divorce from my parents." "You wha-" "I said I want a divorce from my parents." "Yes, I heard you. l was just calling my secretary. Uwa, get me the standard child-divorcing-parent form." "Yes, sir."

“Hello, I'm Dr. Stupid. I'm going to take out your liver bones. Oops, you're dead."

"Hmm. No. We don't have any record of you giving the hospital any money, Mr. Burns. Oh, but we did get a very generous donation from a Mr. Homer Simpson." "What? It's not fair. It's not fair! You--"

"Unless-- Museums don't have foosball, do they? You lose, Michelangelo's David. Who's next?" "Me!"

"Wait. Wait a minute. Wait. You're that guy who owns the nuclear power plant!"

"Another strike for the Chosen One!" "Whoo-hoo!"

"Jealous?" "Well, no. We've got the same chair" "You're jealous"

"I think they enjoy being humiliated." "I don't know what's sadder about the Simpsons-- the fact that we mock them, or that they shall never know."

"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life, if you had an electrified fooling machine"

"Mm-hmm. Who called the police?" "We both did." "Look, why don't you two settle down? I'm sure you can get another pillow." "I could send it back to Taiwan for repair, but why should I have to? I've done nothing wrong."

"It was that darn recording again." "Of course it was. It's been calling all night. Just unplug the phone." "Howdily-do--" "Greetings, friend--" "Dang!" "I told you to unplug the phone." "But it could be my mother." "Howdy-- Shoot!" "Greetings, friend--"

"Please accept this Operation Dumbo Drop souvenir jacket." "Look, they used the same "D" for "Dumbo" and "Drop.""

"Thank the Lor-- Thank the Lord? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer! A prayer in a public school! God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion! Simpson, you get your wish. Flanders is history."

"Seymour! The house is on fire!" "No, Mother. It's just the northern lights." "Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham." "Help! Help!"

"How come you always run out of tardy slips... before you run out of permission slips?" "How come you suck?" "Uh, I lack confidence?"

"Start the bus, Otto! Start the bus!" "Damn! I shouldn't have eaten the mint first." "Okay, hop on." "Wait! Wait!" "Get him!"

"We've just been handed a bulletin from our Rock 'n' Rumour department." "Michael Jackson is moonwalking his way to Springfield." "While we check it out why don't you enjoy a seldom-heard extra-long version of "in-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."" "Michael Jackson! Such a thing happens once in a blue moon."

"Would you like an inscription, sir? " "Yeah. To Lisa: Never forget your daddy loves-- D'oh! And that inscription is still there today."

"Aw, the Denver Broncos!" "I think owning the Denver Broncos is pretty good." "Yeah, yeah." "Well, explain to me why it isn't." "You just don't understand football, Marge."