Reminiscing my ex : Past Relationship

this is probably my first article here@Read.Cash contribute. I can say that i did well. Hahaha please bear with me because I'm not good at English.

While i was cleaning my important things in my cabinet i saw my ex gave me. and suddenly flashback to me our memories.

I met him on facebook, I was only 17 at that time. His name is rj, He chatted me and he said "hi" because he's handsome in his profile picture, I also talked to him hehe, I thought we would only talk that day and suddenly he would disappear in my messenger. but it wasn't. I was wrong, we keep talking everyday and he always updates me on what he's doing, sends me a photo, (he's the one doing that I'm shy type on camera before because I'm ugly. 🤣) he also calls me since the load was still trendy before and video call is not used much.

Through months our talk and calls he courted me through chat, and its okay for me because im shy to him. But for him its different. After a few months that he court me, he decided that we would meet, Because I'm really shy of him of course I didn't agree. I still remember im going to the mall that day, im in the mall btw, since his boarding house was near to that mall. I text him that I was at the mall that day. He reply to me: really? Wait, I'm going there, wait for me in 5 minutes . I was so nervous I thought he was just joking that he was going. he text me again I'm already here at the mall where are you? I reply I'm at the playground sa WOF, Since we haven't even met yet, I waited for him because I wanted to see him in person. I saw him going inside of WOF but I was just outside of the WOF na parang wala lang hahaha and then I saw him as he was looking for someone, pero ako hindi gumagalaw sa labas ng wof. Since I didn't want to show up to him I told him that I wasn't really at the mall and I was just joking. and i see his face so very disappointed i feel like i have conscience but i really don't want to talk to him in person that day so i just let him know if he leaves in the wof or not, he text me again na pagalit saying na ano ba yan pumunta pa naman ako ng mall akala ko totoo na, pag ikaw talaga makita ko lagot ka sakin.

But when I got home I admitted to him na, I was at the mall and I saw him I even told him the color of the tshirt he was wearing, I also explained that I was shy to him and im not ready to talk to him in person. Day by day he always says he wants to see me. he always teases me as Madaya because I've seen him and I still don't want to show him. .

He is forcing me to see him for a while. Sabi niya :Kahit sandali lang daw magkita lang kami kahit umuwi ako kaagad kasi feeling niya daw natatakot ako sa kanya, pero nag joke rin ako sa kanya na baka ikaw yung matakot sakin kasi ako yung mukhang momo kasi pangit ako. and then he told me that " If I answer yes to his courtship he wants me to say personally " kilig na kilig ako dito eh na kinakabahan acck! And I also decided to talk to him because I also want him eme,But I told him I was really just a moment hindi ko rin alam kung bakit siguro kasi hindi ako sanay. Haha

I met him in a mall, Those with seats in the middle of the mall then on the side you can order and eat, That's where we met. at first I was really shy to him. He came to the mall first, and then when I arrived I immediately looked for him, he's handsome shit! even if he was wearing a simple tshirt and shorts then, his hair suited him. he didn't see me but I saw him and I don't know if I will continue to meet him that day. haha im so very nervous I just dared myself to sit in the other chair in front of him, I was very nervous. And he looked at me immediately. When I sat down, I covered my face with my hair hahaha I don't care if I look crazy there but that's what I really did. and then he was just staring at me smiling and talking to me (para siyang may kausap na baliw doon 🤧). Then he joked with me. When I was okay He asked me if I want food, I said I was full and I was only here for a while and he agreed. I talk to him oh what? Is that okay? you have seen me. you have seen how ugly I am. he just said you're not ugly you just say that to yourself. while smiling at me.

He want to put my hand on the table he said "put your hand here I want to see" I was surprised but I followed him. When I put my hand on the table, he suddenly touched it and took my hair from my face. And I froze at that moment, so embarrassed ays, because I felt like someone was looking at us because there were still a lot of people in the mall. I immediately took my hand but he wouldn't let go. He was holding his hands to my hands and I did nothing. I just said I'll be home soon he said just wait a minute and then he asked me what was my answer to his courtship and I said YES. I see to his face that he shocked and he smiled even more at me so that I can't no longer stare at him eye to eye gosh! Yung hiya ko umaatake nanaman hahaha And he said is it true? I couldn't believe it, and he tightened his grip on my hand. When i was my way home he had a friend pass by us and looked at us and he introduced me as his girlfriend, i was so shocked that he did that, the girl smiled at me and left i smiled too but im shy again because do you think he has a girlfriend who is ugly like me. Hays i have mix emotions at those times. he is so handsome (for me guys he is handsome) and then he was friendly pa, he played badminton at their school while me I was just a simple girl, Ugly, no talent, dumb,useless, not sexy, etc. I think I have all the bad luck in the world. But he still made me feel like he wanted me. So my feeling toward him bigger and bigger the way he takecare of me. i feel I liked him even more. What I liked about him was not only because he was Handsome, but he had a good mindset. he talks well, he knows what to do in life, he has a goal, he is good at everything, he tells me everything about him and he loves his mom very much. "Mama's boy" and he even introduced me to his mother.

Day past our Monthsarry came, He said we should meet that day just because he has a class, So that's the only time we can meet after his class in the morning and i agree. He also said that we are going somewhere and he will give me something and I also agree.

He texted me that i meet him outside of his school(he was in college and i am no longer studying beacause of my financial problem i live in my ante in the city)

Edi I also went right there to what he said. Because that school is just near his boarding house,when I get there i saw him outside of school waiting to me, since there were also many students coming out, he didn't hesitate to hold my hand and many students looked at us then. Acck I'm embarrassed again! we walked to his boarding house still holding my hand. When we arrived he introduced me to his aunt and went inside,He asks me if im okay and smile again to me. He greeted me with happy monthsarry and sang while playing the guitar that he borrowed from his boardmates .

We ate his lunch at the same time then he gave it to me. And I was so shocked that he would give me a frame with a poem, acckk!

SA PUSO KO NAG MULA

Sa isang malaking kalawakan

Ikaw ay aking natagpuan

Sa malawak na mundo

Pag ibig natin ay nabuo

Sa una nating pagkikita

Aking pusoy ligaya ang nadama

Nang ikay aking kaharap na

Nag halo ang ligaya at kaba

Buhok na tinatakpan ang iyong mukha

Na iyoy namang sinasadya

Dahil ikaw saakin ay nahihiya

Habang ako sayoy nakatulala

Dito na nagsimula ang

Pangakong hindi mag sasawa

Kailanman itoy hindi mawawala

Dahil lahat ng ito sa puso ko nag mula.

• The poem he wrote me *

Yung picture ko diyan super jejemon pa hahahaha. And when I read the poem I was so shocked again and I don't know how I will feel there again, because I've been kilig na kilig na talaga kanina pa! Then I was even more kinilig with his poem ugh! I can't explain my emotions huhu lord help me na makahinga!

He ask me if im okay, he grab my hand and kiss me on my forehead and i smile to him and suddenly he kiss me in my lips................... *_* That moment become a slow motion, im so shocked and freeze at the moment gosh! that is my first kiss!, My first kiss!!!! ... He took my first kiss ...... I couldn't react right away. and he suddenly apologized and apologized because he said I might be angry to him.

I had so much fun that day! He made me feel how much he loved me.

He invited me to go with him to wander around with him and go to church. Like other couple did, but I said I can't because my aunt would scold me when she found out that I was going with the man. And he said its okay to him.

Days past my mother's death anniversarry came and I went home because we were preparing for it. And he said he wanted to go to our house, he wanted to meet my family. I said I would not allow it because my father might be angry with me.

When I was at home I received texts from him that he was already in the market and he would just pick me up, I was hesitant and I told my sister that he was coming and he is my boyfriend and my sister said I should just pick him up because he is already there. he told me that he had been asked many questions by his classmates just to get there. And he even brought the people there with us. (Our house is far from the market because our house is in the village) To make story short, I introduced him to my family and he also slept there. And my family is also okay because what I want to do in life is okay with them, as long as i don't do bad things. especially my mom she will support me in everything if she just lives and scold me if I do something bad.

Our picture back in the city and we were in the van.

His exam came and he became busy, we didn't talk much. because I understand him and he wants to study first.

Since then he has changed his dealings with me. and their exam itself, He just told me that they would have a drink at their boarding house, it was a celebration with his friends at the boarding house, because they had just finished their exam. after non he doesn't answer my call anymore. Tinatawagan ko siya kung napano na siya pero dahil siguro sa inis niya pinatay niya yung cellphone niya.

Next day, i received a text from him. He said let's stop this, I can't walk with you or even go to church. I want us to do what the couple does but we can't do it. I cried that day, and apologized. I asked if we were still fine but he said he didn't want to.

I was able to talk to a friend of his somehow and someone told me that on the night they were getting drunk, theres a girl went to him and slept there, and her male friends knew that.

I didn't confront him, i check our social media but he blocked me me in Facebook. And I just accepted everything because I love him, I thought that he would be happy with that his new girl, since I love him I will give his what can make him happy. I also told myself that I will fix myself before that love again. To be ready is what it deserves for me.

One year and a half ago,

one year and a half I also moved on with him I poured all my love on myself those times. And I'm feeling ready to love again eme, so someone once again i allowed to court me. and there he is nagpaparamdam nanaman in the text, but I said that to the person who was courting with me so he told me to change the number.

One night my bestfriend had a chat on me, its fiesta in our village that time saying that why i didn't go home? there was a man whose name was rj drunk and crying in front of them, regret why he cheated on me and asked for my number and she also gave it to that boy. but i told her that i have a boyfriend even though we haven't. I just said that so that she wouldn't give my number. but its too late she already give my number.

One night again someone called me but I didn't answer.I know he is. I wouldn't have answered but he was naughty, so I talked to him. he apologized to me and wanted to get back together because they had a fight with the girl. That he exchanged for me was the girl who went right at night during their exam. He talked to me, he told me that he didn't know that they were going to his friend our village that night, and they were having a party kasi nga fiesta and he asked my friend if he knew me and my bestfriend said yes and he said about the two of us and he started crying. And he asked for my number.

he wanted to go back with me because he did a mistake, that he still love me. but I don't want to. I said "when I went back to someone who had hurt me, as if I had given him a chance to hurt me again," he suddenly fell silent and apologized again. I said again that I already have a boyfriend and I'm okay, I've forgiven you for what you did even if you didn't apologize. I hope whatever the problem the both of you maayos niyo. he didn't insist either but when he was going to canada 2years ago after our break up he called me in messenger that he is going to canada and some decisions in his life, my present boyfriend knows that and he told me that I blocked him onfacebook at sinunud ko naman.

It's been 4 years that I don't know anything about him, he chatted with me again on ig this year. (instagram) and I talked to him its a friendly talk. he telling me that kinarma siya for cheating on me because the girl he exchanged for me and loved just cheated on him, when he went to canada. The girl pregnant with other boy because she drunk. He apologized again, and over and over again.

I said please don't think about that, it's been a long time. Forgive yourself and the woman who hurt you. You have a relationship with others and I still have the man who loved me for who i am. I hope we have both happy relationship right now. And he agreed.

Don't believe what people who communicate separately say i need space but the truth is there are others. And I also don't believe that you are the problem but there is always a third party in a relationship that ends. Basta palaging may third party yan! 🤧😐

I don't need to brag about what I did to him in a short period of time in our relationship, that's why he still communicates with me. I just want to share here how good a person he is and how much he made me happy back then during the times I felt like I didn’t love.

And that's where my article ends now that I'm just inspired by those who write love stories here, fiction or not. I hope you like my true story thankyou for reading.

Will I throw away what he gave me? Or not. Because my present boyfriend didn't know about what he gave, because I didn't say either. Hopefully I can ask for advice here.