The misconception of men and their emotions (part Two)
Did you know that unexpressed emotions can damage your brain??
Dealing with our thoughts and feelings can be frightening to us. Men will do anything that tells them not to feel whether directly or indirectly. And many times men are compelled not to show their emotions and with that they learn strategies to avoid their feeling.
**One of the strategies is :**
Departmentalization, ***you know like your computer or mobile phone, we have what we call files, where different things are stored for different purposes. And sometimes our phone can get filled with lots of file and when it gets filled what next? We delete, but if we don't delete, what happens?***
**M**alfunctioning will start, the phone or the computer will start hanging. And until we delete some files, we can't save more files on the computer or phone.
***It's the same thing with a man, when he keeps bottling things Up. A time will come he will be filled and starts bleeding inside.*** **
Is like a loading your house with lots of boxes over time there will be no space in the house. And what happens to the house it will become so unkept.
**Many men are emotionally unkept as a result of unexpressed emotions.**
Did you know that unexpressed emotions can damage your brain??
**N**eurological scientists has found out that HUMAN BRAIN are demanded in the emotional breakdown ,this brain can't make decision at all. We miss out visually half of our intelligence by not attending to those emotions.
**A**nd yet men who avoid their emotions go through life almost as if it's half baked life. They live in black and white when they could be living in full of color.
**R**esearch shows that young boys are more emotionally expressive than their female folks. Can you imagine? 🤔🤔 Boys are emotionally expressive than girls. Can you imagine that?
How did the game change?
How did the ladies become emotionally expressive than men?
How did that happened??
We will find out about that in my next post on this topic in my next post on THURDAY.
***Header image designed by @Tiger lily***
THE Misconception Of Men and Their Emotions
Why do men feel ashamed to show their emotions? Why do the society tell MEN TO NOT CRY? why do they always tell us to suck it up? Why do they tell us to bottle it up? Why do they always tell us to be a man? …….
THE MISCONCEPTIONS OF MEN AND THEIR EMOTIONS
What is misconception you might ask?
Misconception is the wrong or inaccurate idea.
So we can rephrase the topic to be; The wrong or inaccurate idea about men and their emotions.
Now you might ask what is emotion?
According to English dictionary;
An emotion is a feeling such as happiness, love, fear, anger, or hatred, which can be caused by the situation that you are in or the people you are with.
Myles Monroe defined it to be Energy in emotion. E-motion.
So that means emotions is the movement of an energy (love, happiness, fear, anger etc)
If emotion is a feeling of some kind of energy(love, fear etc) that means both male and female species of the human has emotions. Emotions are not only for the female folks.
WHY THEN DOES THE SOCIETY MAKE IT SEEM LIKE ITS A TABOO FOR A MAN TO SHOW HIS ENERGIES (ANGER, LOVE, FEAR ETC)?
Why do men feel ashamed to show their emotions? Why do the society tell MEN TO NOT CRY? why do they always tell us to suck it up? Why do they tell us to bottle it up? Why do they always tell us to be a man?
Does being a man don't Mean being Human?
Or
Are men not as Human as women are?
1.Why are they silencing the men of expressing their emotions? Why they aid the ladies to speak up? Is there anything wrong in being a man?
2.Why is it as if the society supports the women in the matters of emotions than they do to the men folks?
3.Why does it feel awkward to cry as a man? Is crying not part of emotions?
4.Why are men seen as weakling whenever they show their emotions?
Do they know the harm this is causing us? Are they aware of the monsters they are making out of us? Are they aware that un spoken or unexpressed emotions can lead to depression. In fact the majority of the suicide cases we have in men are as a result of emotions unexpressed or expressed but not heard or taken seriously.
The men folks needs to be heard emotion wise.
Holding unto emotions and not dealing with them can cause slow death and yet it seems that the thing that gives men life is the thing that they want to avoid.
There is an experiment that was held among some group of men. They were told to choose between
1. To sit quietly with yourself for some time.
Or
2. To self administer electric shock.
What do you think the majority of the men choose?
They chose to self administer electric shock.
Why?
Because they want to distract themselves from those external processes, lockup emotions that constantly runs them down.
To be continued.....
How to overcome porn!!!
Know the root - knowing the root of the problem will help you in solving the problem. A problem you don't about is a problem you can't solve.
So ask your self this questions
1.why am I watching it?
2. Am I watching it due to emotional breakdown?
When you must have known the root of the problem. Try to stop it from the root.
2. Challenge those thoughts of watching it.
Any thoughts that pushes you into watching it challenge it. Stop covering it and face it. Refuse to give in to watching it. Silence those thoughts in your head.
3. Make plans for the urges:
Make plans on where or how to release the urge for watching it.. Whenever the urge comes up I want you to have 5 things you can go to in or the to get your self back to normal. Create a healthy coping mechanism eg running ,medication, journalling, yoga etc.
Try these steps, it will help you control your self towards porn
I'm yours
Everything I told you was true, I cannot stop thinking of you. From the morning I wake to the evening I sleep, I dream of having you, I fantasize of the sweetness of your lips, the tenderness of your breast, I fantasize about the wetness of your cunt. My hands on your body and our bodies gliding together. I tried to close my ears but the sound of your moaning for pleasure won't let my mind rest.
My thought of you never ends. I'm yours, I have always been yours.
I burn for you but it hurts to burn for someone who doesn't feel the same way you do. If only you would look at me, really look at me , you will see the fire 🔥 in my soul. I'm burning for you , only for you.
I have two choices to make, to leave you or to live my life, yet it is you I cannot sacrifice.
8 codes on how to unlock the heart of a woman and make her love you.
**#Code1**
*Get to k ow her love language* :
Have you heard or read this book by Gally Chapman, The 5 love languages? Is an incredible book. If you haven't read it,I invite you to read it. It will show you her love language. What she responds to. Everyone is difference.
**#Code2**
*Gain her trust*
Women remember when you lie or when you don't stick to your words. They might not remember what they are last night but they will remember when you said you will do something but didn't do it. Show her that she deserves to trust you.
**#Code3**
*Be Passionate*
Women love passion, so touch her hair, hold her hands, kiss her hands and forehead, look her in her eyes.
**#Code4**
***Mentally Stimulate her!***
Women wants to be stimulated emotionally and they way you do that is by talking to her. Get to know what she is passionate about. And learn about it together. Support her do things she loves doing and talk about things that excite the both of you.
**#Code5 :**
*Speak up*
Women love it when a man has it's own opinion and holds its own and he is not sacred of saying it.
**#Code6**
*Stand out from others!!*
How? Call her, text her, talk about the future, plan the future together. Let her see a future with you.
**#Code7**
*Don't play games* :
Be your self and be confident.
**#Code8**
*Be loyal*
Stop messaging other women. Let her know that you are not hiding anything. Make her know that you are loyal to her.
#relationship
10 Tests of God
1. Time test
Here God tests your ability to manage time. It can come in two ways. First , you will have enough time and watches to see how you use it, second side of it , is that God provides you with little time, and watch to see how you handle it.
If you pass this test, others things will follow suit.
2. Word test
Here God tests the sufficiency of his words in you. This comes up especially during trial and tough times. Here, it is the amount of God words you have in your mouth that will determine whether you will win or not.
3. Servant test
Here God tests your humility level. A lot of things that will test your humility will be happening to you. And if you are not careful you will blow it. In this particular stage, you will serve people a lot.
4. Wilderness test
During wilderness test everything seems to be at pause, nothing seems to be moving. At this point in your life, you will think that there is no God. Your Love for God wax cold. During this stage ,a lot of your prayer might not be answered.
5. Patient test
Ah!! This one is the test that many people has failed constantly. Here your patient will be tested to it's highest limit.
6. Discouragement test
Here a lot of discouragement will be happening , from left to right. You will plan A , B will happen. When this happen. Remember it's a test.
7. Frustration test.
At this stage a lot of frustration will be happening to you.
8. Love test
Your ability to love will be tested. A lot of provocation will come at this stage to test you love for people.
9. Vision test
Your vision will be tested here.
10. Promotion test
Your ability to manage promotion will be tested here.
8 things you can do as a guy to get the girl melt for you
1. Kiss her on the neck
I know you like to kiss on the lips but if you want her to melt, kiss her on the neck. The neck is a very sensitive area of the body. A kiss there will give her lots of chills.
2. Wear a good fragrance :
Fragrance as a way of turning girls on. So wear it always.
3. Plan on exact date:
Call her up or text her like this, Hey pretty, this Friday night , dress, I will come pick up. I tell you this will melt any girl. Of cause you must have been with her or dated her for a while before you can plan such a date.
4. Waiting to spend time her family
This is key boys, every girls likes It when a guy is good to her family members. So be kind to her family.
5. Give her cheap present:
You don't have to buy expensive things. Just the fact that you think of her and bought her a gift, will send chills all over her body.
6. Send her " I'm thinking of you text.
This kind of text will melt any girl down. Just text her, I'm thinking of you. Nothing more nothing less and watch the magic play.
7. Kiss her on the forehead :
Just come straight up and kiss her on the forehead. Don't panic doing it , do it with confidence. Learn to kiss girls places aside the lips.. I tell you this works like magic.
8. Always show sign of protection : when the both of you are walking on the road side, be the person on the side where cars pass and let her stay inside. Or when walking where there is crowd. Guide and guard her through the crowd.
Write your desires down!!
Create time to discover your self. Quiet time , ask your self questions. Get to know your self.
Meditation is the most important aspect of prayer God can't talk to you when you are talking.
Pray 10 min, listen 10 minutes.
Write all your desires down (think of anything you would like to do before you die ) 10 to 12 pages bust write.
Your idea is God talking to you. That thought that won't leave you. That dream that keep coming back. Any idea you have , any thought in your heart that is in accordance with the word of God that's him talking to you. So you must listen to your inner man.
Make out time to sit and think. A lot will be given to you from your inner man. Your inner self always wants to talk to you but many times we are too busy surviving that we forget to live.
When you must written down your desires, document it. Make or bring all your desires to one sentence. This is what you give to the world. This is you and this is what you are known for.
Communicate it , tell people about it.
Make plan towards achieving it.
7 things that hurt men and can affect their confidence level.
Although, they seem indestructible and males are made, the truth is that all men have a weakside and although they try to deny it, there are certain things or better-said behavior , that they can not stand. They can hurt them as renege and anger.
So friends take note:
1. Useless: there is nothing that upsets a man more than feeling useless. Anxiety and panic take over them when they feel that their partner CAN DO EVERYTHING alone without needing them to be there.
What do I do then? Let him COLLABORATE
2.When you not present on their important dates.
Although he will always say "if you don't have the time don't come" that's a lie. Deep down he wants you to come.
His graduation, birthday, celebration or what ever It is , it is still special for him and the fact that you go SHOWS that it is important also to you.
3. Forgetting to introduce Him
You should never stop introducing him to people that matters to you, if he is your partner. SHOW him how important and proud you are that he is your companion.
4. Minimize Him : Men have a very long developed ego. At the slightest hint of disparagement, they will go on the offensive. If you want to tell him he is WRONG, you must be very accurate.
5. That you do not know how to apologize.
Men like to admire, that makes them to fall in Love. Mostly they are the ones who APOLOGIZE in relationship but if their partner does, he will recognize your courage to acknowledge your mistakes.
6.Economic Ruin - The man feels the responsibility of being the ECONOMIC SUPPORT of the FAMILY. The lack of MONEY can lead to a stress picture. Make him feel your unconditional and more than emotional SUPPORT, help him find new 'job offers '
Men like realities accompanied by feelings.
7.Job failure
No man is happy when he is failing at his job.
Hello my Sweetheart
Hello my sweetheart
My craze and my madness, your love for me has consumed me and certainly it's my highness.
I have had my own share of wrong love, bad love and dirty love, bet your love for me brings me a new dawn, good love and pure love , something like an angelic lovee
Ah!!
I'm on high attention, tripping and flipping for your matter I stand attention.
Am ghost, for them girls I no dey see them, I'm invincible, for your case I dey see I'm vincible.
I stand for you, anytime anywhere, I ride for you, if truth go hurt you baby I go lie for you cos I'm all for you.
Your safari, I'm your mainstream nigger, whenever you down, I'm a be your ginger and if you need some money I go be your adetola, I spend for my baby, I no stingy , this is real love no be kinky.
Hello my sweetheart.
A closed mouth is a closed destiny. Speak Up!!
Your mouth is an instrument of establishment. The mouth is one of the greatest gift God gave to man. Your mouth is given to you to command the forces of life..
And so when you hear a closed mouth is a closed destiny. I.e if you dont open your mouth your destiny won't be unlocked. I know we talk, but what kind of talk do u do?? Where is your talk directed at?
Or don't you know that the only thing that can go into your future is your words.
Confession is part of your spirituality,your response is part of your spirituality.
Spirituality is what you do not who you are!!
You are a spiritual being, what you do is called spirituality..
When you pray, you are practicing spirituality..
When you confess the word of God you are practicing spirituality.
In this world now, you must be a talker!!
You must learn how to free yourself from the existing reality and create your own reality. When they say there is a casting down. I will say there is a lifting up..
Create your reality!! Have a talk session!! Be talker of the world.
When you confess what you don't want, also confess what you want..
For example, when you i can't be poor, i can't be sick immediately say what you, I'm rich. I'm living in health!!
We war with our words..
The words we speak they are life and they are spirit..
The last time i went to the hospital
The last time i was at the hospital was when my mommy was sick.. During that period i came to realise the vanity of life,my mom that would always close her nakedness, will even shout at you if didn't knock before coming in to her room.
She is the one now that will be naked and not be ashamed of it, all she want now is, to get well and ho home...
Her nakedness is not a factor now,her health is what matters now
At the hospital,
I see rich men and women laying lifeless on the sick bed,begging and struggling for life. There money doesn't matter now.. All that matters now is there health. Their money became tasteless on their sick bed. Life became meaningless to some it meaningful as they have learnt the true value of life.
While in the hospital...
One of rich men (a celebrity) made a prayer that really touched my heart. He prayed and said:
Dear lord,please take away all my money and give me back my health,please lord 🙏..
That's was his prayer.. He understood the true value of life.. Money is not everything.
Hmmmm
This money you and i are killing for,some are dying for, someone is here requesting that it should be taken away.
We need to rethink what is really important in our life.
In the Hospital, i understood the vanity of life. I understand that Health is the number one,other things follows after health.
Money is the least of your worries when you are on the sick bed..
Don't joke with your HEALTH!!
Hospital is a place of reflection for me.
Talent is over rated
See eeh no matter how talented you are if you are not disciplined you can't achieve anything great in life.
I once read a book Talented is overrated. And is so true. Listen,whatever a talented man can do a disciplined can also do.
Discipline is more essential to your success than dreams. Everyone dreams. But not everyone actualises their dream. What sets those who achieve their dream apart from those who dont is discipline.Set goals and discipline yourself to follow through.
Am yet to see an undisciplined wealthy man but i have seen an undisciplined poor man. Listen wealth is made and kept by discipline not by prayer not by fasting not by wishing but by discipline that is why not everybody will become wealthy in life!!!
A rich man can be undisciplined but a wealthy man can't. There is a difference between wealth and riches. Riches can be sudden wealth can't be sudden. Wealth is built and whatsoever is built takes discipline.
It is easier to blame village people and witches, rather than face the real problem, UNDISCIPLINED !!!. No one can stop you but you!
A Day With The Doctor (PLEASE Read CAREFULLY)
Hello Friends,
A day with the doctor
Doctor:
This is sausage or hotdog.
One of the things used in making hot dog or sausage,corned beef are classified as Group 1 carcinogens
Safari :
What is Carcinogens?
Doctor:
A substance or agent that can cause cancer.
Safari:
What does this mean?
Doctor:
It means that substance found in hot dog,coined beef etc causes cancer
Safari:
Wooooot! woooot!! Doctor you say?
Doctor:
Yes you heard that right.
Processed meat causes cancer!!! Flee or reduce your intake.
The evidence is so strong that Tobacco (cigarettes or shisha) are in the same category as processed meats
Safari:
Does this mean that processed meat is as dangerous as Tobacco?
Doctor:
No, it just means that the scientific evidence that it causes cancer is strong.
Red meat was placed in Group 2A
Safari:
But doctor i like suya and hot dog.
Does this mean i should stop eating meat?
Doctor:
Cut down your intake of processed meats, or stop altogether
Some of these meats contain chemicals during processing like N-nitroso compounds
Suya is not safe either as the burning can form polyaromatic hydrocarbons which is harmful
Safari:
Okay so now doctor, if i stop eating all this Mentioned above, what then should i be eating ?
Doctor:
Eat health, Eat Natural food,Eat non processed food,if you must eat a little. And hey don't forget to fast sometimes..
Safari:
Thank you doctor for your time.
PLEASE Be Carefull Not All Action Is Love !!! (THE PROVE OF LOVE 💖)
**The proof of love is giving, the second is forgiving.**
**What you give might not necessarily be something tangible or visible, but when you love you give & forgive**
**You may be right that love in itself isn't an action word, but it's existence is only made evident through actions.**
**Read this carefully**
**I know it's sweet when you get gifts, go on dates, attention, you can mistake it for love**
**Self Examine Yourself with this**
**Do they accept you unconditionally, do they correct you without judging you, do they support you, are they loyal to you, do they listen to you, do they respect you, do they forgive you?**
**Think about that for a while..**
**People think those things ( gifts, go on dates, attention)indicate love, they think love is always a verb(action). But the reality is that some people will love you & NEVER tell you about it nor indicate. But does that mean they don't love you? No. Love isn't necessarily actions in giftings.**
**Love is loving a person & setting them free. Many people don't love you but they do things that LOOKS LIKE LOVE to you because they are cultivating you for harvest for their own parochial desires.**
**Be careful.**
**Money and gifts can only buy attention. The moment its finishes, then you can know their stands in relationships. There is an extent to which someone will shower you with gifts, even your instincts will be communicating with you, but we are too blind to denote it.**
**PLEASE BE CAREFUL NOT ALL ACTION IS LOVE !!!**
**NOT ALL GIVING IS LOVE !!!!**
Why They Won't Understand You !!
Why explain to people who can’t even understand themselves? If they have not understood themselves, is it you they will understand?
The sun does not explain itself. It just outshines every other light. Shine! Your brilliance will dazzle your haters.
Shine!! You don't need anyone's permission to do so!!
I say Shine!! You don't need anybody's opinion to do so !!
If they don't understand themselves how will they understand you ?
How will they believe you,if they have not believed themselves ??
You must be free from what people think. You know why ?
What they think doesn't change who you are.
So shine regardless of what they say or think !!
Your one and only
Safari bangz
Both words and actions are important!!
It is true that action speaks louder than words but sometimes words speaks louder than action.
Many atimes what your partner needs from you its your words and not your action. She or he will be like.. All i need from you now is your words and not your actions. Don't do anything else for me just talk to me.
He or she will be like i dont need your money,i dont need your gifts,just talk to me thats all i want. You not have time to talk,all you do is buy me gifts, I'm tired of gifts,talk to me please. Lets chat. Lets gossip.
Its been long you told me something sweet, I'm longing to hear you say something nice to me. I have missed how you told me my eyes was beautiful, how my hips were killing,how my 6packs was driving you nuts.. These days you dont use words on me. I'm staving of it.
I need to hear you say something Nice, Tell me something loving,something sweet,something romantic. Talk to me baby.
Why do girls find it difficult to marry or stay with a guy that cant talk or doesnt know how to talk ?
See no matter how u want to put it. Both talking and doing are all essential part of love.. Non is louder than the other.
And mind you this issue of not talking or using words in a relationship has broke many homes and relationship. Our needs are different ooo. Some people all they need is for you to be talking to me. Some people all they need is for you to do this for other. that for me
So my conclusion is both words and action is vital in a relationship. No one is louder than the other
@Safari_bangz
