I'm a Queen and I Don't Need Rescuing
I'm the queen of my life. Don't need a king nor a knight in shining armor, no need to be rescued. I face life as a warrior along with my honor. I fight my own battles. Every jewel on my crown is embedded by my own self thriving. I protect my kingdom on the front line. I know my worth. I let you in, I cut you off. Won't be hopeless by your side. Being a queen means bearing more weight of responsibilities. With the weight of my crown I'll keep my chin up. Know what you deserve, you'll never be treated as a worthy queen if you won't live like one. See and feel how you deserve to be in your throne. Believe in you and unleash your power.
You don't need to be so kind. You don't need to be bad. You need to be yourself who don't tolerate any disrespect.
https://youtu.be/XqBKrJnA8ZY
Rule in Your Own Way
No one can steal your crown. It's your own self and no one can be your duplicate.
Keep yourself private. Don't let just anyone to have access in you.
Queens don't stay unless her king treats her right. A king isn't necessary anyway.
I came to the phase of my life that I don't force any relationships be with friends or in a romantic set up. I don't see love and commitment too lightly, it's crucial in my life. That's why I should value myself more. I'm a queen who fight wars and dive deep...and I don't do that just to settle for less.
If I want you then good but you need to understand that I can cut you off no matter how much I want you if you're not good for me. I handle my pains and I face the consequences. I'm in the state where it's okay for me if you'll leave or stay, because I'm not making anyone my home anymore. I am my own haven and home and I won't just share that easily.
https://youtu.be/uPHKkewD1G0
I focus on my building my career. I'm not gonna chase anyone.
I do what I want to do. I'll say yes or no. Play with fires, surf the waves. Risk.
I'll travel around the world. I'll eat what I want and dress the way I wanna dress. I'm a pretty girl who's not living in a Barbie world. Won't let anyone control me.
Might go along with you though but a queen won't loose anything if it's the toxic ones who will leave. Leave then I'll smile and say bye. Stay and be good then you'll be treated right. Give me mixed signals and I'm slowly building the walls. I got my own desires but I know who I want and if I need that or not. I'm fine with anything, if I made that choice then I'm prepared for that.
I might just be the rich aunt who spoil herself, family, and friends. I might not marry and have a child and you know what? It's not a bad idea for me. It's better to have solo flights than keep being mistreated. It's a good thing to have a good king but my traumas just say no. It needs lot of time, effort and consistency.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjhyYpwPN_Q
I'll party hard. Live my life free from anyone's dictations and control. As an individual, I am no one's competition. Queens don't compete, they support each other, mind their own business, keep themselves high.
Being a queen doesn't mean you're superior. This is just the state that should be normal. This should be the standard. It's not high...if you feel like it is then you're just less. For you to be a queen or a king you should be able to do the bare minimum such as respect, accountability, consistency, confidence, morality, character and realized self-worth. You also need to understand that this doesn't mean that queens don't have flaws and mistakes. The difference between a girl and a queen is that the queen fixes her flaws that harm others. They keep their attitude. They're real and keep who they are.
It hurts...
I never felt not okay for not having everything that I wanted. It's always fine for me. If I can't have it then I'll earn those so I can have those things I want someday. It was like that...not until I met him. It hurts so much for not having him mine...specially when we already had us.
Even if it's being the favorite child, favorite friend, favorite student... I never felt hurt being not the favorite one. I never wanted anyone to treat me special...just from him. Just with him I wanted to be just a heartbeat away.
All I want is to be loved and treated right consistently. All I want is an imperfect love yet keeps thriving for development, taking both of our time. Little by little we grow.
I thought that if I did my best to fix every flaws of mine that will harm him, if I kept this pure intention I have, the same excitement for his presence, treating him with the best of my capabilities...I thought that if I genuinely love and choose him...I thought we wouldn't lose everything. I was wrong.
https://youtu.be/OOgvDiXl6hA
I kept being patient but nothing happened. I got trapped with endless draining cycle and by then I did wonder... if love fits then why does it feel that I'm too hard to love?
I did not made him my world but I treated him my haven and home and made sure to offer the same. It was all useless. I never regret anything because I made sure to give my best...I did go beyond of beyond.
Countless chances. Countless forgiveness. Countless pains. Lifetime traumas.
I kept being pulled in yet at the same time pushed back.
I built my walls and cut everything off but just a simple glint of hope from him, with just his simple existence in my life keeps shaking me to the core. An unsure feeling that he radiates, synchronous feeling of comfort and icy distance. His mixed signals resulted from this mixed feelings I have. I don't know if he you should be the one that I should completely let go or be patient with. However I already know what I deserve. I already knew my worth. I know what is needed...it's just that it's all aching.
Him being both my poison and cure.
I never wanted to leave
I never wanted to make it seems like I don't care anymore
I never wanted anything of this
If only he can just be my home like how he promised...I want that moment. I kept on wanting him again and again. Even if not now, I want him to be mine some day.
But that's another stupid choice I have...
I should just keep bearing everything of this and act like I'm unbothered at all. If I can never moved on then I should just learn to live without him and be okay with that. There's nothing I can do anyway, I already did every part of mine that I can just to keep him mine...
it hurts that the very first one that I wanted in my life can't be mine anymore.
*Author's Note:* Story of my friend's neighbor.
Young Forever In Our Own Neverland
Have you ever realized just how fast the night changes? We're getting older, having more difficult problems, reaching some of your dreams, and seeing how much you've grown so far. Some of us might have enjoyed youth, while some missed it because of the circumstances in life.
Some adults wants to be a child again even for a while. That seems impossible if you'll literally see it that way but it's really not when it's by heart. Let your mind be Peter Pan that will take you to neverland where you'll remain young forever. Being an adult isn't you being leashed with responsibilities and tasks, cut yourself free. Put yourself in the situations that make you feel young. Take vacations with your family or friends, it's never too late to have fun and live like a young child for some times. Notice how much you still like some of the things you like when you were a child? We remain young by heart, because like a child who seeks for thrilling adventure, we our currently slaying one as we grow and it'll continue as we live because life is full of mysteries that you can learn as well as about yourself. The adventure on creating yourself than finding who you are. Like a curious child we continue to risk and explore life. We may feel burned out but that's natural, it's just a reminder for you to rest and have some time for yourself; 'cause the present you is the most important time of your life that you should enjoy and make it a memory you wanna remember forever.
If you'll see life in the eyes of youth...we people are all children who grew in mind and had character developments gained from our constant adventures that are success and failures. We chose who we are, we shaped us... like a child who's so passionate and fights how what he/she wants. We're also young forever since we always need a person than us alone. We can be weak , cry, be imperfect, show some courageous yet clumsy behaviors... just like how a child is. As we grow the different thing we do is hiding such feelings we used to vocally express before.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbvE0FV_70U
Adulthood doesn't always mean that you should already have the most mature state of a mindset so you have to be right all the time. You'll make mistakes until you die, that's how we are...that's how we learn the most.
Take your time to be mature. Take a little by little character development. As an adult who's young by heart...you can free your inner child in neverland.
Did you ever wonder why is it NEVERland? Don't you think that maybe because it's not a land but a state of mindset? And maybe neverland isn't located in the brightest star in the sky but the brightest part of our heart... in the purest fragment of our souls.
https://youtu.be/hoUH9b6xHyg
***Author's Note:*** Don't forget to have fun in life and cherish the moments. We only live once to be stuck with just minding the future. Enjoy the present without losing the vision of your future. Don't be afraid to feel lost, because actually a lost person wonders with freedom. You can find your way so enjoy the process.
*credits to Pinterest imgfave for the lead image* https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/398427898257954589/
Are You Okay? Hoping for Your Healing
"Are you okay?", sometimes just these three words are what we need. Even if we'll not be able to say everything, these ten letters made a huge impact in our hearts and minds. This one question made us feel that we matter, someone cares...we exist. This simple "Are you okay?" felt like the voice of my heart that speaks through tears that I'm holding in reached somebody's soul.
Not everyone will understand us. We don't have to tell everyone about us because not everyone will have good intentions in our stories and sufferings. Sometimes even explaining through countless paragraphs just to be understood wouldn't work. The real thing is, there are things that only you will understand so be grateful to those who listen and care for you genuinely even if they don't understand you. That one who knew you behind those fake smiles, petty lies, behind your words such as "I'm fine"; that one who's not just behind your back but also beside you to make you feel you have someone to lean on and fight with; the one who's also in front or up of you to pull you ahead. Those simple things with pure intentions serve as our connection with one and other.
However, sometimes we just have...no one.
Series of Disappointment, Regret, Blames, Guilt
Above from any disappointment from anyone, self-disappointment is the worst.
Did you ever do the same mistake repeatedly? Realizing everything later that every good thing or person you have that you did not value and let go off are the ones that are actually good for you, ones that made you happy and loved sincerely. Feeling like you're just full of mistakes and you don't deserve anyone because you're nothing special who only cause pain and sorrows but still hopes to still be loved and won't be replaced? Full of regrets?
What's done is done. The damage is already inflicted and irreversible. You can't change the past. You're already disappointed and if you realized that you're really at fault then break the cycle of just blaming yourself and regretting everything because nothing will happen but let you fall deeper in your own abyss. Start with yourself. Face the consequences. Apologize and do everything that you can do, fix what you can still fix. Don't apologize and try to make things right out of you just wanting to be free from guilt. Those you hurt might not forgive you and keep hating you. In this time you have to be stronger. This is a tiring phase, everything will feel difficult. Take a step little by little. The best apology you can give even no one believes you is you being a better person. That's the best apology that you can offer to those you hurt and for yourself. You also have to forgive yourself to lift yourself up from self-disappointment.
https://youtu.be/tK4oNOE4V6s
You matter and deserving of love. Take your punishments and don't run away. Rest but don't run. Life isn't just about this phase. What you need is to learn and be better to move forward. In this state you need yourself the most. You might feel like an untamed monster you can't control. With a sand castle faith that can easily collapse. Wanting to just hide along with your flaws...
Before wanting to have someone who will accept you, accept yourself and create a better version of you that will make you acceptable. It's okay to have flaws but there are flaws that are toxic that causes harm. This is reality, you can't just expect someone to accept your flaws when it's hurting them. They can't keep you in that way, and you can't keep a person you only bring pain more than comfort and security. You need character development and as long as possible I hope you can do this while still not losing everything from you. However, if you already lost that one or everything or feel lost, you can find your way. You can be happy... keep trying to be better for yourself. There's more to life and yourself you have to figure out.
You might be at fault but as long as you're living try to deserve the life you're given. When you're trying you'll realize that you deserve to be happy too bit by bit. Don't just live with guilt and regret. Focus on the things that you can do that will make you grow. Don't give up on yourself...please.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFeT8k2WTOQ&list=RDPFeT8k2WTOQ&index=1
Have a Proper Sleep and Good Health
This is the most necessary when you're dealing with mental loads of problems. Being mentally unstable will definitely affect your physical body and energy. Move, sleep, eat. Take care of yourself. These will support your mental capability to survive. You can't actually wait for your mental health to be better so you do something, so you can gain back your energy and motivation. Your mentality will take lots of time so you need to consistently make your body active because this has positive effect on your moods and way of thinking. Keep yourself stable little by little.
Live with Good Habits
Work on your mindset and train your body as habits. Do some of your good hobbies too, entertain yourself too. Good hobbies and visions maintain you for knowing who you wanted to be, be capable, direct yourself... be a great sailor of your own life.
***Author's Note:*** As long as you're living you have a chance. You can't make everything right but you can always make yourself better then in that way you can be a right person to someone genuine. Be deserving, work on it and remember...it's for yourself the most. Love yourself and establish your worth. Goodluck!
https://youtu.be/k_C7WbeX-9c
Hope you also like my music recommendations. Hope music can help you heal too.
Determination Leads to Satisfaction
"You've got to wake up every morning with determination if you're going to bed with satisfaction."- George Lorimer
Live productive. Make your every day a step closer to your dream. Set an everyday goal. Plan your schedule and organize yourself. Wake up with determination it will keep you productive throughout the day.
Pray, do exercises, make sure you move your body more often. Eat your breakfast. Listen to happy music. Do what will start your momentum every time you wake up. Do those things that will keep you motivated.
A planned day is the best to save from wasting time on what you should do. It will help you segregate your priorities. Of course, not every plan is perfect. Tomorrow is uncertain. Be ready for unexpected. Believe that you can handle whatever will come. Learn how to adjust in life. Take your time, you can fail too. Mastering adjustment needs a much understanding mind that takes lot of practice, so take your time.
-Stay Committed
Once you start one day productively, be consistent. From your morning routines to night routines. Make these routines your habit. From exercising, doing your tasks to your rest time. These being your habits will help you to develop more. Try to do this in one month then see how much your life change. Your situation might not change easily that time but it'll definitely change you. Your views in life, the attitude you hold, that feeling of being capable than before. Be proud of that.
-Stay Away From Distractions
It's alright to give yourself time for things that entertain you but keep it in moderation. One thing you should avoid is having an addiction. May it be in spending too much time in leisure, bad things that will have negative effects on your health, or even being too dependent on one person. Being too dependent will be a distraction because it'll take you to different route, a route that you might not be sure of. It's alright to depend but not too much.
-Keep Your Vision Clear
Having clear visions is equal to directed path. It will keep you moving with the right feeling. Those who loses their vision end up feeling lost and there will start negative thoughts to come that may end you up in a draining cycle in life. Protect your vision, believe in it, believe in you. Only keep those people that are good for you. Cut off those who keeps breaking you, even if you want them so much, put yourself first. If they really want to be in your life then they'll make themselves better and deserving to have access on you.
-Rest
We are humans, we need rest. You deserve it, don't worry. Include this in your every day habit. Give yourself a time. Practice this. It doesn't mean just lie down or sit for a while. You can take a vacation, have fun on your day offs. No matter how important the future is, the present is the most fundamental. You're more powerful in the present as you can do something more than just being remembered like a past and dreamed of like a future.
Don't study too much, don't work too much. Keep it within your capabilities or a little beyond your limitation if you want that badly. Remember that you have to be happy in the process. In this way, you'll not feel like you're in the dark but rather in an adventure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtF6Jej8yb4
We don't live to find ourselves; we live to create ourselves
Every one of us wants to be better. However, some people forget how important it is to live in the present and make the people important to you feel treasured. Don't just build your career or future, build yourself as well as your connections to the people that matters to you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRi-x2r88no
Some people might leave your life. Every person goes through this. This will have huge blow on you specially when you gave big part of you to that person. This will affect you so bad that it may feel like you're breaking 'cause you can feel the pain physically. However, you need to keep your determination. You can breakdown but make sure to rise again. There's so much more that awaits you. More promising future, more deserving people...happier you. So if you feel like you did everything but still can't grasp it then let it go and move forward.
Live for Yourself and Stop Seeking for Everyone's Approval
You have to realized that this world isn't as beautiful as rainbows. There are people who will hate you if you do something yet still have a say when you do nothing. That's why it's better to just do what you want because no matter what, they'll still talk and you don't have to make a fuss every time they do. Don't you think it's more satisfying if you'll keep your silence then let your success be loud then watch them being slapped with embarrassment?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuklIb9d3fI
"Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors."- African Proverb
There are many challenges that will waver your determination but it's on you if you'll let it break you or stand still and have faith. In this life, as you grow, you'll realized how much you influence your own life. So, it's on you if you'll let yourself to sleep with satisfaction.
***Author's Note:*** Know when you should be contented then you'll know what it means to be satisfied and proud. Good luck on your voyage as you slay the roaring waves of your sea.
Don't Stop Until You're Proud
Being under the ground, at times when darkness fill you up... it is natural to feel anxious. Sometimes we feel like we just don't belong, like what if we can't make it? What if we don't deserve this? It's too hard and complicated.
One thing about what our brain can do is to focus on what we set to believe. If you'll keep on focusing about the negative things then you'll never have the full confidence to be competent and bring out your potential. Think about it, do you want to remain the same as you are now? If not now then when? Is it okay to give this up and let it go? Will you not regret?
If you focus on that goal you want to achieve, your brain will see a clearer path. Your desire will fuel your passion and persistence to reach your goal. It's like marathon, when you keep focusing on your path and the finish line rather than your competitors, you'll be less distracted, less anxious, bolder, competent and in any way you'll lose, you'll have no regret because you felt how much focused and hard worked you poured. Being proud does not always accompanied by victory, you can lose and still be proud.
https://youtu.be/RkozLmiLBc0
Don't keep running away from the darkness trying to find a light. Be the light. You can rest but don't run away, specially when it'll just keep you in that draining cycle of your life.
Focus on yourself. See those people you feel that will be good for your growth. Set the dream you believe. Don't stop until you feel proud. Appreciate the difficult times, it just means it'll be more worth it.
Focusing, putting hard-work, being patient...all of these are not easy. Break the cycle. Stop imprisoning yourself, sometimes it's not about being ready but making yourself capable for the unexpected. You don't wait to be ready, you make yourself ready.
You want to be better? Don't stop. Don't just sit and daydream how good your life will be. A dream without action will remain just a dream. Be realistic, life is hard, we are all fragile. Let your will overpower your fears. Fly and be yourself that you'll be proud of.
Big dream or small dream. Right choices or wrong choice. If it makes you closer to the you that you wanted then do it. Don't be too hard for yourself but don't be so easy too. Don't be afraid to the consequences, facing those will make you grow. It's sad but we really have to suffer. Our path isn't made of red carpet and flower trails.
https://youtu.be/6jZVsr7q-tE
Feel like everything...every you is just never enough? Are you really never enough? Answer this question as how you see yourself, not how your family, friends or everyone see you. Are you doing something even a little to move forward and grow? If yes then it's not right to see yourself being not enough. You are just not yet satisfied to yourself but you are enough and you deserved to be appreciated.
We can't always handle the situations. We can't change everything but we can change our attitude. If you'll have better attitude then you'll be able to see everything in a different way. A clearer way. Take every lesson you learned. A change on one's mindset and attitude is a better change in his/her life.
***Author's note:*** Hi. Are you okay? Do you feel drained? It's alright to be weak for a while. It's necessary. Weakness did not exist without a purpose. It's alright to be afraid for the mean time, it's alright to think about yourself first. Rest well.
Wearing Your Confidence Makes You Beautiful
What does it mean to be beautiful?
Is being beautiful means having white or tanned skin? Having double eyelids? Having a hourglass body? Flawless skin?
In this modern day everyone keeps saying that beauty is in the inside but most of them still judge in one's physical appearance. With this being practiced in our time, the existing beauty standards is embedded to most of the youth. Their own beauty made them feel less, failing to realize their own asset. This hold back their confidence, blocking their full potential.
https://youtu.be/FLGCGc7sAUw
What does it mean to be confident?
Being confident is believing that you are capable. It's being sure of yourself and abilities that makes you feel secure and realistic. It's not about having a feeling that you are superior to anyone but trusting yourself that you can rise with your best capabilities.
Acceptance on oneself is the beginning of confidence. This isn't an easy task for everyone. Easier said than done but worth trying for.
"If I don't fit the beauty standards. I'll set my own standard"- Hwasa (Mamamoo)
We all have our own beauty. You may not feel beautiful enough but if ever you'll do something to be beautiful the way you want, do it in your own standard. Not because of what the society tells you, not because of the trend. Don't trade your own beauty for approval. Do it for yourself and raise your confidence with you being just the way you are. You are always enough and this is what you have to feed in your mind. What is needed is to be real and not to be perfect.
"I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation"
https://youtu.be/ZyhrYis509A
As this song stated, life is your creation. It's on you on how you'll handle your life. Your decisions directed you, your confidence boosts you. "Life in plastic", in our life, things such as beauty standards, insensitive words and actions that pull others down, two-faced characters and those who cling on you for their own convenience. All people have their own monsters but only few take time and effort to tame them. To put it in a nutshell, you don't have to try to fit in the society because society is self is vaguely real. Your capabilities and beauties shouldn't be dragged down by everyone because not everyone matters. You matter the most.
Be Confident
Being confidence contributes for your readiness in life experiences. It's a huge factor for your growth and success. With confidence you'll be bolder to risk and take opportunities. With it, you'll be able to try and try again and accept your failures and use those as your stepping stone. It boosts your positivity as well as embraces you.
"Experience tells you what to do; Confidence allows you to do it"- STAN SMITH
Free your potential. Explore the wilderness in life. Living is full of uncertainty to not be bold.
Believe in Yourself
Build a stronger confidence. Discover and develop your capabilities. Take pride to your achievements. Be happy being better than your yesterday's self.
Gain Confidence
This takes time and needs lot of devotion to be consistent.
***Build a Mature and Confident Mindset*** - your mindset is the guide of your actions. It is the foundation of one's own personality. Build a confident mindset that can't be easily shake off.
***Criticize and Compare Yourself Healthily*** - Even if we say to not compare ourselves to others, I'm fully aware that some of us might compare ourselves to others a little. It is a natural feeling we have that can help us determine and develop the qualities we have. Don't push yourself to much. It is more healthy to compare the present you to your past self. Since we have different phases in life, it will only lead to jealousy and envy if you'll drown to comparing yourself to others. Criticize yourself to discipline you but also make sure to award yourself for the good things you did. Praise yourself.
***Fight Self-Doubt****-* We sometimes feel inferior. We also feel weak sometimes. Learn to fight that part of you to not harm your confidence. However, you can also use this to know your qualities that you should develop. It's alright to doubt but keep it in moderation.
***Try to Take Risk One at a Time*****-** Life is full of risk, learn to be bold no matter what result you get.
***Go Beyond Your Comfort Zone-*** Bring out your full potential. You'll never know unless you try. Our potential is unlimited as we live since we continue to learn as we grow.
***Polish Your Capabilities-*** Know your talents and keep developing it. Know your best feature and smile as you feel beautiful.
***Do Your Responsibilities and Gain Experiences-*** This helps you practice being capable. It's easier to be confident when you know you're capable.
***Be Real***- Deal with your insecurities in your own way. Don't hide yourself, you don't have to show your flaws and mistakes but you don't have to hide those too. Just be who you are. Say yes if you want, say no if you don't. Chin up, your character is your crown. Let confidence shine as the jewels of your crown that you earned.
https://youtu.be/CjxugyZCfuw
https://youtu.be/_epVgBDPBOg
Dating For A Purpose
Some say that their purpose in dating is marriage and some will say for the sake of happiness.
Personally, both have a point. Who wants to waste time investing to a person who's not gonna be in their lifetime? Who wants to stay with all the red flags?
They say that people who are dating to marry tends to tolerate mistreatment from their partners because they'll keep staying despite everything for the sake of the future they've dream of.
However some also say that people who date to be happy tends to leave and give up a relationship once the flaws show up, once the phase of imperfections and arguments come.
Actually, you don't have to change your mind on how you want your purpose is when the love you have is genuine.
If you wanna date to marry then go ahead but don't tolerate those who don't treat you right. Date to marry but also be brave to not settle for less. You can have this purpose while also considering yourself as well as your happiness.
If you wanna date to be happy then go ahead, just do not enter a relationship that you are not ready for. It takes more than happiness, it takes more than love itself. Never use one person to be happy then call that love because if one day you're finally happy then the job is done and that person will be left alone because you won't feel the same. A genuine love with this purpose does not only mean YOUR happiness but as well as your partner. That consistent urge and acts to make them happy, that's the one and eventually you'll be at your goal.
Once you genuinely love someone it's impossible not to see a future with them for at least once. A genuine love stays and never fades, it might not be soon due to stormy phases in relationship but a genuine one will always be the haven of any troubles and doubts within.
Never make someone feel that they are loved then leave them, that's why you must make sure because hurting one's heart is a deep pain that who knows when it'll heal, that who knows how it can be healed. It's a soul-shattering thing to do to someone who has pure intentions of loving you. And of course there are cases that are the exemptions.
Imagine a pure hearted one that is silently enjoying its life alone then you came, made it fall then leave them with traumas and issues to deal with it alone?
A genuine one will never run from difficulties, if he/she wants to fix then you don't have to repeat it again and again.
Do not ignore the toxic signs, don't give them countless chance to act right because in the end it'll be the same reason why you have to leave and with much more pain.
There's no such thing as finding the right or being with the wrong person.
The right person for you that you deserve is created with it's own will.
https://youtu.be/r9SoM5Ij4Gc
*A song recommendation of mine: I know I deserve more, I know I gave my best...I won't regret and it's not my lost but still still I miss those days*
Linguistic Language and Language Varieties
LINGUISTIC LANDSCAPE
**1) What are linguistic and semiotic materials?**
These may come in the form of billboards, signage, street names, traffic regulations, or graffiti. These materials are unnoticed most of the time. Advertisements, flyers, and written notices are part of our everyday lives. Memes, troll posts, and tweets are prevalent online. All of these are part of the linguistic landscapes. Semiotics is the investigation of sign frameworks. It investigates how words and different signs make meaning. In semiotics, a sign is whatever subs for some different option from itself. Semiotics contrasts from phonetics in that it sums up the meaning of a sign to incorporate signs in any medium or tactile methodology. ... Theory of language focuses harder on characteristic dialects or to dialects as a rule, while semiotics is profoundly worried about non-etymological meaning.
**2) Why do linguists consider signs to express symbolic meaning and messages?**
Linguists consider signs to express symbolic meaning and messages. It is both a language and medium of communication on its own. Researchers tend to analyse the purpose of the author on how these signs and symbols are produced, and to whom these are directed to. In some cases, signs can usually be identified on the basis of form of the signage or symbol. They provide clues to understanding experiences by conveying recognizable meanings that are shared by societies
**3) What is a bottom up discourse?**
It is a personal plea or request. The kind of signage and symbols vary depending on culture for the reason that each cultural environment has different reading practices. Some languages are written from left to right, top to bottom, or the semantics, context and structure of language is different from one another. Example is when a high school student post a short slogan as warning against smoking.
**4) What is a top down approach?**
It is an official rule which you can attribute to the authority. It shows authority in making a request. Example are traffic signages and enter and exit signs
LANGUANGE VARIATIES
**1) What is the meaning of language variety?**
Language variety simply refers to a distinguishable variant of a language. This means that there are a large number of varieties of any given language. The sole criterion to be fulfilled by a particular variety is delimitation with other varieties. Dialects within a variety framework are frequently referred to as regional varieties and sociolects as social varieties, though the label “dialect” can be retained if used objectively. Dialects may change from one district to another, starting with one social class then onto the next, from individual to individual, and from circumstance from circumstance. These real changes bring about the assortments of language. In sociolinguistics a language assortment, is a particular type of a language or language group. It is a general term for any distinctive form of a language or linguistic expression. Linguists commonly use language variety (or simply variety) as a cover term for any of the overlapping subcategories of a language, including dialect, register, jargon, and idiolect.
**2) How did the “pidgin” develop?**
A “pidgin” is a new language which develops in situations where speakers of different languages need to communicate but don’t share a common language. The vocabulary of a pidgin comes mainly from one particular language called the “lexifier.” Pidgins are worked on dialects that create as a method for correspondence between at least two gatherings that don't have a language in like manner. Numerous pidgins have been created all throughout the planet in view of exchange, manor frameworks, and sea exercises. An early pre-pidgin is quite restricted in use and variable in structure. But the later “stable pidgin” develops its own grammatical rules which are quite different from those of the lexifier. Once a stable pidgin has emerged, it is generally learned as a second language and used for communication among people who speak different languages. Examples are Nigerian Pidgin and Bislama, spoken in Vanuatu.
**3) How did the “creole” start?**
A creole language, or just creole, is a steady normal language that develops over the long haul from the rearrangements and blending of various dialects into another one. Creoles are accepted to be shaped when a pidgin made by grown-ups for use as a subsequent language turns into the local furthermore, essential language of their kids – a wonder known as nativization. Robert Hall, an American language specialist, explored the pidgincreole life cycle during the 1960s. A few language specialists, like Derek Bickerton, accept that creoles have more syntactic likeness than the dialects from which they are phylogenetically inferred. In any case, no for the most part realized clarification can represent the apparent likenesses. Moreover, no linguistic component has been demonstrated to be explicit to creoles. As per the module, the instances of creole are Gullah; Jamaican Creole; and Hawaii Creole English. Note that the words "pidgin" also, "creole" are specialized terms utilized by etymologists. The speakers of Jamaican Creole call their language "Patwa." The speakers of Hawaii Creole English call their language "Pidgin."
**4) In your own opinion, why should students be fluent in English?**
As an understudy it is significant that I am conversant in English in light of the fact that my course is Accountancy, and it's about economic transactions. Understudies who are conversant in English have a superior possibility of having a respectable vocation in their field. It's likewise the language of global contact and correspondence, the media, and the web, so learning English is valuable for mingling, culture, and work. Also, the English language is significant in our lives since it improves correspondence. English is significant for understudies since it widens their brains, cultivates passionate turn of events, and improves their quality of life by offering work openings. At the point when we move on from school, there are numerous places that we will apply for in light of the fact that we are familiar in English; this assists us with truly augmenting our insight base and viewpoint , from profession openings to the chance to impart with individuals from everywhere the world. I’ll advice to my fellow students to learn English in a way that it’ll be fun with them, I learned English by readings comics, watching anime and drams with English subtitles. Practice and learn like a novice, don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Slowly build your confidence and trust yourself.
**5) In your own opinion, what is the meaning of “You Are What You Speak.”**
Language is an influential thought since it can possibly completely shape an individual's very own personality. The manner in which terms and articulations are utilized has an immense impact on individuals' sentiments and character/individual personality. Language is a vital instrument for framing new associations and communications. On the off chance that you think before you talk, you are basically what you talk and the second you think about something before you talk, you become who you truly are and you are in reality what you accept. Non-verbal communication is likewise a type of language that lets other individuals in the public eye recognize one individual from another. An individual is answerable for developing a self-personality that is unmistakable from the others to maintain aware normal practices in the public eye. Language is the invisible connection that links all of us, one that will assist them with adjusting another culture furthermore, individuals
How Reading Makes Us Adventurers
“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies . . . The man who never reads lives only one.”, stated by George R.R. Martin. Reading is like a portal that takes our mind to explore different galaxies of our life that are as mysterious and vast as the universe. Reading is an adventure and trial of comprehension. It is like living in different bodies and souls at different time and places. Not everyone likes reading. In a world of rampant technology inventions, some people prefer to watch videos and play online games than to read a book. They don’t know the importance of reading and how powerful it is to the point that it can change your mindset that will lead to better life.
I’m not into reading before but my friend insisted that I should read the novel she likes the most so we can have something to talk about. I realized that reading isn’t bad and boring at all as long as you can find how to link yourself with the book you are reading. I’ve found out comics that are interesting to read too. Reading helped me to be more fluent in English and widen my vocabulary. Moreover, my comprehension improved as well as my mindset. It’s like I’m able to explore different personas and chose certain characteristics to build myself. Reading made me know different kinds of things and because of that I’m able to know my dream and the path of my life is clearer than before. “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”, one of the best-selling books is what I’m recommending the most. Money is everywhere in our world, everyone wants money for their own personal purposes and by reading this book, my mindset matured. I learned that I shouldn’t work for money rather I can make the money work for me. This is the book that introduced me to my dream and is currently guiding me within the process.
"There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate's loot on Treasure Island.", according to Walt Disney. Reading improves our social communication and character. It educates us and it builds us to the person we wanted to be. It can give us the mindset we can use for the future we want to have. It is a treasure that no one can steal from us. By reading we can be more powerful that yesterday’s us and brighter than our past selves who does not read.
https://youtu.be/mbCJqdrzwcE
"Into the Blue Universe" Gallery Exhibit
It is one of my dream to launch a gallery exhibit but I don't think I'm fit for that so here I am fulfilling my dream in this simple way. This is my first gallery exhibit entitled, "Into the Blue Universe"
Blue is my favorite color as it give me the sad mood yet comforting feeling; lonely night but accompanied by the beloved moon radiating security and care. Universe is vast and by looking at it, it makes me realized how beautiful yet lonely it is.
Into the Blue Universe is composed of my random thoughts and feelings, an individual who has anxiety and loss her passion yet trying hard to get it back. I did lots of self-reflection so I can really say that these arts of mine are mirrors of my heart, mind and soul.
When we are put in the darkness we naturally seek for the light. In this art, the girl and the moon are the light. At the point of our life when it's dark and can't find the moon then maybe you are the moon. Most of us are focused seeking for light that we can see but failed to feel. We often forget that we can be our own light in the darkness that can give us what we need.
Our mind can be our greatest power yet the most poisonous thing that can kill us. We may be trapped in our own thoughts and suffocate in clouded flow of our mind. It is all in you, if you are the problem then you are the solution. Learning to use your disadvantage into your most powerful offense then you can be greater that who you're used to be. The art I made is an opened jar, symbolizing how she opened her mind and let all her clouded thoughts flow out and use it as her stepping stone to see the direction she wanted to choose. She's able to free herself and catch the moon who's the better her.
Music served as my comfort and healer. I do believe that music transcend languages, races, and genders. The lyrics played as the healing patches then the melody and rhythm wrapped me with its invisible aura giving me the warmth I needed. Music is a great part of my universe, with it, the stars are seen instead of just a blackhole making my mind clearer and my soul serene
We dream. Our dreams vary and some may find it easy and some don't. Achieving it on the process takes lot of mental and physical effort. It can challenge your whole being. Sometimes, you might be stuck between believing that is it not your time yet or you might not be fit in your dream. It is a dilemma and it's choosing wether you give up or continue is hard. All I can say is that a person becomes strong because of difficulties in life but stronger when able to face consequences in life. We won't know if it'll turn out good or bad, it's all in the end. Just believe in yourself and be strong enough for the consequences. Dream and believe, fly to where you choose to belong.
Lastly, for the finale I recommend this song "heartbeat" by BTS as it completely give the mood for my thoughts in this gallery exhibit. Hope you had fun! See you at my next gallery exhibit.
https://youtu.be/aKSxbt-O6TA
Questions I'm Afraid to Ask in a Relationship
We may be as one when we love but it won't change the fact that we are still humans who are natured to be different from each other. We will not know everything about each other without asking. There are things I want to ask yet kept hidden in me.
1. How did you and your exes broke up?
I'm not sure where I heard it, but this is a type of question that should be avoided in a relationship. It is an unspoken rule not to bring up the exes. Even though the past is gone, I'm intrigued. I think I'll get to know him better if he answers this question; it's not like I'll ask him what he liked about his old girlfriends because I think that will complicate things and isn't necessary. I guess knowing how they broke up and the reason behind that can make me more assured and secured since sometimes his exes and girls with past romantic relationship with him is keeping in touch with him. I also want t know it for myself like I wanna know those things so I can prevent those from happening again to him. In my case, I don't have any ex and he happened to know everything about me and my past crushes. I wanna ask this so bad but I'm too afraid since I don't know if it's okay and if it'll complicate things with him even if I'm willing to be open-minded with it.
2. Do you love me the same from the start?
This question applies when both or one of you appears to change. People change, and actions that were once done to you may cease, which can lead to problematic overthinking because it may appear that your partner is lacking because he is not doing the same thing he was doing at the beginning of your relationship.
Actually, this should be answered more than words. Actions should match the words because you may receive an answer like, "I love you more now", then he'll end up treating you less than before. In this case believe their actions, it is the answer.
3. Where Am I Lacking?
This question is hard because it's natural to not want to hear negative things of you coming from your partner. However, it is necessary in a relationship. This question is part of communicating with each other and becoming the better persons you both deserve.
4. Did you ever think of breaking up with me for good?
It's so painful if I'll hear a yes. Well if it's a yes then better be careful for its reason. It should be fixed. Both of you must be better. Know your worth and where you should stand because this is a complicated topic where you should consider the both of you, him and you.
5. How is this relationship different than your previous relationship?
I wanna know my strengths as the current girlfriend. I wanna know if I'm doing better, if I'm making him happier but I'm really afraid to ask this because it's kind of opening a previous relationship as a topic.
6. Do you have anything you hate about me?
I'm so afraid, even typing this makes me cry. Like I have a part that he hates, but we can't help it, we all have a toxic side and not everything should be accepted.
7. How do you think of your way on treating me in every emotion you have?
I wonder how he see himself treating me, if it's the same on how I feel it. I'm actually bothered asking questions that requires too much time and explanation.
Aside from all of the questions, I'm looking forward on his actions towards me because there are questions that can just be answered by actions, Like how much he can prioritize me, how much will he has to be consistent with me, how much he's willing to listen to my feelings, thoughts and issues. Pay attention with these things.
Never change your real self though for something unnecessary. Do not lose yourself just to fit everything he wants to be you since you'll ask questions to your partner. Be observant too. Match the words and actions. Be better but stay real.
https://youtu.be/FLGCGc7sAUw
The Legend of The Moon and The Howling Wolf
In the kingdom of Obo, there are three princes who are candidates to be the next king. Moba, the current king says, "The next king will be the first to find a queen." The two princes immediately traveled to another kingdom because the citizens of their own kingdom are all men. The eldest Mobo went to the Amazons and the second son Habo went to the neighboring kingdom of the Pirates. While the third prince Koga remained in their kingdom, because apart from him having no intention of becoming king he can't also see. He's blind so he always hear judgments of the people against him and even his father treat him unfairly.
He traversed the forest where his mother used to always bring him. It has been more than ten years since he last came here. Because it is forbidden and said to be inhabited by evil fairies. But Koga didn't care, it was more important for him to feel again the caresses of the dancing wind from that forest that feels like his mother's touch.
Serina, the world’s only moon always descends into the lake in the heart of the forest. She discovered it a year ago. She saw it from the sky because it was surrounded by glowing fireflies. She asked permission to his heavenly mother to allow her to come down to earth. Her mother allowed her and lowered her to the ground in the form of a very beautiful lady but she's made invisible to mortals for her safety.
One night while she's happily paddling in the lake a man came. Serina knew he couldn't see her so she ignored him and continued paddling. She stopped when she heard the man singing. Serina was fascinated by his voice so she approached him. The handsomeness of the man in front of her is so pleasant in the eyes. Serina was stunned when the man suddenly touched her face. He immediately backed away and her eyes widened while staring at him.
"Mother? ", said the man. The man stood up and walked around and by that, Serina realized that the man is blind. Because of this she got the courage, she talked to the man and caressed his cheeks." I'm not your mother sire. I'm just a girl taking a walk. ", said by Serina. The man immediately walked away and apologized for thinking that he was disturbing the beauty's walk.
Serina immediately followed him and persistently asked it out to befriend her. The man did nothing and just agreed to it. "What's your name?", Serina asked. "Koga", the young man replied. Serina did not wait for the young man to ask her and she said that her name immediately and asked the Koga to always visit her. Serina was thrilled to be back in the sky. Her former full moon grew even bigger and brighter.
Events did not escape his mother heaven. Her mother immediately warned her and said she could not fall in love with a mortal because she is the only moon. Serina was sad but she thought more of the nights she would be with Koga.
They always meet at the lake every night and talk happily. They are happy with each other. Koga happily drew Serina's picture. When the girl saw it she was surprised. "How did you find out what I looked like?" Koga smiled at her, "I remember your picture, I always touch your face and I know you are a very beautiful beauty. But it's different when I actually see you." They hugged and made the most of every time they were together.
Until one day Koga's siblings returned and failed to find a mate. Their lives were almost in danger in their destinations. "You idiots! None of you three deserve to be king!" the father king said angrily. The three princes remained silent until Suwo arrived, the king's right hand carrying the picture of Serina drawn by Koga.
The king found out that the prince always left every night for the forest. The king immediately decided to look for the girl in the forest. Koga knew that he would not be the chosen king for the kingdom of Obo because of his condition. He even heard that one of his brothers would marry the girl. Koga immediately went to the forest. His body was still injured because he could not see the branches on the road he was running. The forest is familiar to him and he will not get lost.
When he reached the lake he immediately called the girl and after a while he heard the girl's voice. "Serina! Never show yourself to my brothers, to the king or even to the soldier. Hide and stay away from me." Serina was confused, a little later they heard the gallops of horses. Serina immediately approached Koga to ask what's going on. But instead of answering her, he kissed her on the lips and hugged her tightly. "Stay away Serina. I'm sorry but we have to forget each other for you to be safe" The young man pushed her away. It hurts her to see the man she loves crying and bleeding. Soon the king, princes and soldiers arrived.
They couldn't see her so Serina didn't leave. They are looking for her and when Koga didn't tell them where she is, he was immediately hit by Mobo's spear. He wanted to approach Koga but she could not interfere. Koga forcefully denies Serina. He receive a lot of beating but Koga has no intention of telling them.
https://youtu.be/cH4E_t3m3xM
"Kill that worthless one. ", The king aggressively said. Serina seemed deaf to what she heard. Koga was about to be thrust by the sword into his heart so she immediately ran towards it. But before she could get close a thick cloud embraced her and returned to heaven.
Serina begged her heavenly mother to help Koga. But she did not agree because the deity would be angry with them. "I warned you the first time Serina. If you had listened to me it wouldn't have happened."
Serina burst into tears. He witnessed how Koga was killed by his own family. When the battalion left, Serina immediately went down and embraced. "I'm happy to be with you for the whole little time we had.", said by Koga, his last words before he finally passed away.
Serina returned to the sky but the only moon lost its light. The world experienced floods. Mother heaven asked Bathala for help. Bathala talked to Serina. Serina will give some of her part to revive Koga and they will meet again and hear his voice. Serina immediately agreed.
After few days, people found a ferocious dog at the very spot where the third prince had died. The kingdom feared it and named it lobo, after their kingdom's name Obo which can be translated as wolf. And since the wolf was wandering, the moon shone again. The people rejoiced because the flood would finally stop. But instead of seeing the constant full moon, only some parts of it appear. Sometimes half, sometimes none and many more forms.
One night when the wolf looked up at the sky it saw the moon and howled loudly. Serina looked at it and the full moon returned again. "We may not end up the way we wanted to. I'm happy now that we can see each other and I can hear your voice again. Koga, I love you so much."
Whenever each month of the year begins, the full moon comes and this is also where the constant howling of the wolf begun. Citizens say that the moon once fell in love with the wolf who's a mortal before and now continues to meet her beloved that calls for it every full moon.
THE END
https://youtu.be/N5HxbW_OcJI
Recommendations:
If you want to explore my thought about relationships then you can read these articles of mine. I hope I can help you even in a simple way.
https://read.cash/@Rhoma/how-to-love-1c0942e1
https://read.cash/@Rhoma/music-speaks-different-love-pt1-8343a67c
https://read.cash/@Rhoma/can-you-see-your-own-shortcomings-853c81d7
https://read.cash/@Rhoma/lack-of-consistency-invalidated-feelings-1e19fb3d
https://read.cash/@Rhoma/always-fighting-phase-1f3f140f
How to Love?
https://youtu.be/dN44xpHjNxE
You can't purely love the person the way you wanted to be love. Both of you might have different love languages so if you'll continue to love the way you wanted to receive one then it can be frustrating specially when you expect the other to feel love the most but in reality you're still lacking.
If you wanted to be loved by showering you with gifts but your other half wants words of affirmation then you'll really have shortcomings if you'll focus on showering the other with gifts.
All it takes is observing and listening. Learn what's her/his love language then you can combine it with your love language. With this, you'll love investing yourself and not just love to receive.
Here are some of kinds of love language:
**Words of Affirmation** - words mean a lot to them. They are the type who needs constant assurance and security. They wanted to listen and they'll also do the same for you. Appreciation means a lot to them. Encourage, affirm and empathize them.
It hurts them when you can't appreciate their efforts, no matter how many years or forever it takes, you need to be consistent. Non-constructive criticism is a no to them. You can criticize them but not in way that you're not minding that you love them. Some people forget the love and how special that person is when they're mad. At least if things can be fixed, be gentle while arguing with them.
They'll love it even if you give simple efforts like leaving notes or cards for them. Love letters is the best way to sooth them.
**Physical Touch -**Regular physical affection is what they love. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, being close with you. They feel more love when you express it in this way. The way you miss them, the way you need them, how much you love them.
Being cold to them and ignoring them should be avoided.
**Receiving Gifts**- They'll feel that you're thinking of them and you care. Communicate with them as your priority.
You don't need to be extravagant, simple gifts and gestures are enough. Gifts aren't always material things anyway.
You should avoid unenthusiastic response when you receive and give gifts, this feel like you don't really mean it. You can't also forget special occasions.
**Quality Time**- Alone time with you is needed, you shouldn't use your phone for so long that you'll leave your partner unattended specially when you're not always meeting each other. They also love a one on one conversation with you about your relationship, it can be about your dreams, what is needed to be fixed and everything that needs to be communicated.
Create a special moment with him/her, plan a date, take a walk, eat. It wouldn't be too much to give an effort for a partner in life who will do the same and will invest his/her whole self to you.
Avoid unnecessary distractions while you're together. Pay attention.
**Acts of Service**- help them, support them. Don't let him/her help you then you won't do the same when they need you. Be there for them, be their companion in life. When you're together at house then share the tasks. You should also observe when your help is needed because helping without asking for it shows how much you sensitive you are and cherish them.
This can also refer to emotional issues, you shouldn't leave your partner to solve the issue by himself/herself, it should be the both of you. Help her/him to improve and fix your relationship. Don't be too contented that they'll not leave you just because they love you.
One person can have multiple love language so observing your partner is the key. This wouldn't be hard if you really care. All that matters is consistency and willingness.
How to love? Only you can answer that. Only you can know how. In this world full of different people seeking for different kind of love... create a new way of love.
Random Thoughts of an Unmotivated Anxious Individual
Everything feels so exhausting. Things that I'm passionate about isn't interesting anymore. I keep on falling behind others, I can't focus on my works. These things keep on draining me, I want to be productive but I have no energy to do that.
I find it hard to fix and control myself. I don't know why I'm like this. I feel sad for no reason or there's a reason but I'm not aware of it. I wanna change but it's hard to start and it's harder to be consistent.
https://youtu.be/Klsi8CbSm8Y
I have a dream and it's scary that it's not enough to get me out of the bed. I think I need a long break but it's not possible on my current situation. Everything's frustrating.
I don't have enough mind stability to keep myself motivated. I just wanna lie down my bed and hold my phone. I've been stress eating these months too and got body shamed for being fat. Everything keeps on building up.
I feel more sensitive more than ever and needs lot of assurance and security. I don't wanna do my work, I'm not happy with it even if it's part of my dream.
I keep on studying multiple lessons without any proper environment. I have to study while doing house chores, nursing my siblings...sighs. Until one day I lost my energy to study and listen. I'm mentally clouded. I don't wanna be this empty.
I keep on having mental blocks, I'm always sleepy, I find myself hard to deal with. I think I need help...I'm not able to get myself up together.
My everyday Routine:
• Instead of waking up early and go on a jog with my puppy I end up having trouble with my sleeping routine and waking up later and has no energy to get up early
• I can't focus on my studies so I can't review well and it's greatly affecting my performance in a negative way
• I prefer to sleep than exercise
• I just want my phone then sleep and eat
•I don't force myself to things I don't feel like doing
•Self-doubting
•Overthink or not think at all
https://youtu.be/aehoGGCHkyw
I'm now at the stage of how to start the change.
Rant and have someone hear you, release all of it then let's start. Just do it. Let's just do it.
Let's try to fix ourselves and set our mental health to the better.
We know that we can't continue being this way. I know it's hard but it'll be worth it once we overcome this phase.
In my case, I'm in a messy environment and I can't just get out of it then fix myself. I have to fix myself in this draining environment, I have no choice. I have to adjust or else I'll sink.
This is a serious fight between ourselves. This is not a small thing that you should shrug off. Facing and disciplining yourself is harder than what you think.
Let's just do it, so we can save ourselves from regrets and wasting time. It's better to suffer now then be happy later.
It's alright, we can do it!
Music Speaks Different Love Pt.1
https://youtu.be/MLXnN_yeW8U
**"'Cause so many times I was certain**
**You was gonna walk out of my life, life**
**Why you take such a hold of me, girl**
**When I'm still trying to get my act right?"**
There are people who has little confidence about themselves making them feel inferior to their partners and think that they may not deserve the love they receive. This type of people overthinks a lot and needs constant reassurance and security. Their behavior might be because of a result of how they grew up or such painful event happened to them. Be patient enough, it is just a little thing to do to make them feel the warmth they need. Most of them aren't materialistic but craves for attention and comfort. They will also do the same because they know what it feels to need such assurance and security.
In other cases, it is the continuous mistakes that hurts their partner. It made them feel hopeless and think they dont deserve the love because they're hurting you and still on the process of becoming better. Yes, we might not deserve our partner but that doesn't mean you should give up specially when your partner is continuously choosing you even if it hurts. Return the favor by becoming the better person for your partner, she's/he's staying so she's/he's hoping and believing that you can change for the better and have a healthier relationship with her/him. It's rare to have a person who's willing to be with you even if you're still in the process of making thinks right. That person understand your flaws the most and giving you the privilege of a special person who's worth the pain and sacrifices.
https://youtu.be/HIF0st2mnCA
**"I love you, but I just need a night off"**
Some believe that you shouldn't sleep without fixing the issue and problem but I believe that this will only result by draining and make things worse specially when both of you are both mad. If you can solve things with your partner before sleeping then it's good but if not then don't force it. It's better to talk with clearer mind because anger will only make you say painful words and lead to wrong actions.
However, you can't just sleep or leave each other alone; give them the assurance and security that you still love each other and will talk again soon.
Then take your time to ask yourself;
Is this fight worth to be fixed or worst enough to end the relationship?
Is it okay for you to see her/him with someone else?
Is it worth it to let that person go?
What's his/her perspective about here?
Analyze the words you received and remember that small things may be big things to the other and vice versa. Care for each other's feelings and don't invalidate it just because they're small for you.
Think for yourself too. Then rest then speak with each other when you're ready and practice it to each other in calm.
Can You See Your Own Shortcomings?
It is easy to identify if our partner lacks anything because we will know and feel what is needed. However, do you know where you are lacking in your relationship? Do you also think about it?
I kinda find it unfair to just think about the shortcomings of my partner but not mine. And actually we'll never know for sure without communication.
I advice to have deep conversation about your relationship atleast once in a month; where both of you is willing and will listen attentively and will do something about it.
You can have ideas where you lack but your partner may not think the same so better confirm it. You are one, keep a strong and trusted foundation by securing and assuring each other. Don't let the one to suffer and tolerate the pain so one can do what he/she likes. Be considerate, once you enter in a relationship it will not be just about yourself but the both of you.
https://youtu.be/GP4okspbfMM
Here are some hints that I realized to identify where I lack.
**Ask yourself. What are the things my partner do that I'm not doing?** - Most of us love the way we wanted to be love so if your partner do those special things to you then you can take that as a hint that he/she wants to be treated like that too. Ofcourse you should also consider your capabilities, if you really cant do what he/she's doing then think of an alternative and dont just do nothing.
**Always show how much you appreciate and love your partner as well as point out what is needed.** - Tell what you appreciate and say what needs more focus, in this way it'll be emotionally balanced because honestly receiving words that you lack from your partner is kind of a difficult thing to hear but still it's part of the relationship and it's for the better. Communicate so you won't have to think of useless things and wont focus on things that aren't needed.
**Pay attention and be observant**- Are both of you transparent to each other? Not to the point the both of you knows every detail about each other but just the situation where you tell the problems, update, stories and many more. If you are then it'll be easier to observe what the other wants.If not then work on being transparent and give extra effort to know your partner more. We have different language.
**Think about the things you do before and now**- You might have things you do to your partner before and stop now. Think if those are what she/he needs then continue doing that
**Adjust-** we all change, some may be stronger but some can become more anxious. We have both good and bad experiences so we have to adjust ourselves and communicate well to our partner how will you cope up with that change. You cant just let things be, if she/he wants the old way but if for you, you wanted it in different way then communication is the best solution.
As long as both of you are willing to communicate and be responsible to the words and actions for each other then you can work it all out.
Think with both yours and your partner's perspective. Pay attention to your partner's feelings too. Reflect to yourself.
Relationship requires time and effort. If that's really love then you dont have to worry...lean on each other.
https://youtu.be/nWt2ucSOYFg
Lack of Consistency; Invalidated Feelings
We all started in a small things. Simple gestures, simple words that takes few seconds to say but can made your whole day. However, being consistent seems to be a difficult thing to others and leave the person who's already used with those actions and words gave to them before miserable.
Imagine living and believing with actions and words the entire time, you got attached to those and suddenly it stopped.
" Small things matter. Giving few minutes to hear my thoughts and stories, the way you used to be so excited on what's happening in my life, the way you don't want to let me go when you hug me and won't leave me alone, the time when you will choose to spend the whole day with me without using your phone a lot, the way you hold my hand to assist me, those time you wanted an update if I already ate, those times when you're giving me love letters and cards, when you're willing to do what you can to fix the problem with me and not just let the mood be light again like nothing happened ..."
Every little thing that I got used vanished as time goes by. I can still say that love is there but the consistency of lots of the things I used to get is gone.
I wonder if am I not worth of those things anymore, I wonder if I don't matter that much so my feelings can be left without even caring for it.
Overthinking sucks but I can't help it when things go this way.
Here are some of the actions and words I wish I can get from the same person:
**Be observant and sensitive enough**- sometimes or most of the time I'm just keeping it to myself because I kept being ignored or I've been treated less when something's wrong.
**Be grateful if the problem is being told to you**- some won't even say and will let you guess but you? you already know what's wrong and still choosing to shrug is... haha
**Do what you can and don't bee too contented that your partner won't leave you-** I promise that no matter how much that person loves you if that person is kept being treated less then he/she will be empty someday and will walk away because every day you invalidate their feelings, they are being drained again and again.
**Keep your words and reflect it with your actions**- don't promise something you can't keep, don't say anything you won't even do consistently. Because we will keep on believing you because we wanted you to understand and love us so much and not being consistent and kept us experiencing the same pain hurts more and more than ever. It builds up and draining the hell out of us.
**Think how much you love that person to stay in the rest of your life**- If you wanted to have that person so much then treat that person right and stop being stupid thinking that they love you so they won't left you even if you treat then unfairly.
**Keep your love, respect and care in every emotion you have**- you can't just lose any of these because of an argument unless at worst situations. But an argument that you know that both of you can fix with proper communication? These love, respect and care shall remain.
Why is it so hard to love that one person the same way you did at the start? I can understand if it'll change by "love that person more" but treating that person less? It scares me so much how easy you can do that because it honestly make us feel less to you...sighs
"Always Fighting" Phase
Are both of you in the phase where you always fight? Day and night...almost all the time, even the smallest thing becomes a big problem. This is so tiring and leads to over thinking and worse anxiety.
Questions such as:
Am I still loved?
Is my partner done with me?
Am I not enough?
Do I even have a worth for him?
Do you believe when others say that, "never let one sleep without solving the problem"?
I personally think that it's alright to give each other rest from each other. Fighting all the time can be overwhelming to the both of you and forcing to fix everything while both of you are in mess will only make the situation worse. Assurance is the key. You can just both assure each other that you still love each other and are willing to listen soon, just for the time being take a rest and organize the thoughts and feelings. Reflect to yourself and your relationship. Swallow your pride and ego, you won't need it here. Try to listen to yourself and put yourself one another's shoes.
By doing these, all the questions can be answered in a clearer way and will give you both a stronger bond in the relationship.
They said that if you are fighting then the stronger your relationship. However, it is better to set your mind thinking and believing that it's not the fight the makes you stronger but the willingness to fix, listen, forgive, understand...the whole process of keeping your relation is what makes you both stronger.
I have been in this situation and it is so tiring and made me feel less. Exchanging painful words, cold responses, trying to just not care...all of it are draining the whole out of me.
Honestly in this situation it's either you give each other a space then come back to each other with clearer thoughts or choose to care and pull each other closer. What I mean in the latter is like when some of us girls say to just leave but we really mean for you to stay and we did not just ask for it because the situation makes it look and feel like you don't want to and we don't wanna force you and of course this can apply in vice versa.
Either of the two choices, you will know what to choose. Observe and feel you significant other and yourself on what you really want.
Here's a possible question...what if the one wants space and the other wants attention?
In this situation, I personally believe that it is better to choose to give the other space but before that assure the other because if that person really loves you then love can wait. I will remind the assurance here. Assurance really matters so your partner won't over think.
There's no such thing as perfect relationship, it will be in fighting, boring, draining, and messy phases but it's such a perfect match when both of you always choose each other at the end.
**P.S.** Hope you all have a healthy relationship. Let me know if you have questions in about relationships, I can give my personal thought coming from experiences. Stay safe everyone.
Drip Drop
By: Rhoma
*Originally written at May 11, 2020*
Drip drop
Raindrops slowly falling
Drip drop
Creating moist in the window
Drip drop
I want you warmth with me
Say now
Do you miss me like I do?
Do you want me like II do?
Like I do...do you love me?
In this rainy day...
that my thoughts are blurry...
like the moist
Can you come over baby coz'
When it's raining heavily;
and the sky screams its thunders loudly
I'm all alone in my room unsure
I hope so soon, I'll have your arms...secure
Drip drop
Drip drop
Drip drop
My tears are slowly falling
January 16, 2021...Saturday
Debut day at read.cash
Hi I'm Rhoma and I don't exactly know how to use this yet so if you have advice it will be appreciated. Thank you
@Rhoma
