It is easy to identify if our partner lacks anything because we will know and feel what is needed. However, do you know where you are lacking in your relationship? Do you also think about it?
I kinda find it unfair to just think about the shortcomings of my partner but not mine. And actually we'll never know for sure without communication.
I advice to have deep conversation about your relationship atleast once in a month; where both of you is willing and will listen attentively and will do something about it.
You can have ideas where you lack but your partner may not think the same so better confirm it. You are one, keep a strong and trusted foundation by securing and assuring each other. Don't let the one to suffer and tolerate the pain so one can do what he/she likes. Be considerate, once you enter in a relationship it will not be just about yourself but the both of you.
Here are some hints that I realized to identify where I lack.
Ask yourself. What are the things my partner do that I'm not doing? - Most of us love the way we wanted to be love so if your partner do those special things to you then you can take that as a hint that he/she wants to be treated like that too. Ofcourse you should also consider your capabilities, if you really cant do what he/she's doing then think of an alternative and dont just do nothing.
Always show how much you appreciate and love your partner as well as point out what is needed. - Tell what you appreciate and say what needs more focus, in this way it'll be emotionally balanced because honestly receiving words that you lack from your partner is kind of a difficult thing to hear but still it's part of the relationship and it's for the better. Communicate so you won't have to think of useless things and wont focus on things that aren't needed.
Pay attention and be observant- Are both of you transparent to each other? Not to the point the both of you knows every detail about each other but just the situation where you tell the problems, update, stories and many more. If you are then it'll be easier to observe what the other wants.If not then work on being transparent and give extra effort to know your partner more. We have different language.
Think about the things you do before and now- You might have things you do to your partner before and stop now. Think if those are what she/he needs then continue doing that
Adjust- we all change, some may be stronger but some can become more anxious. We have both good and bad experiences so we have to adjust ourselves and communicate well to our partner how will you cope up with that change. You cant just let things be, if she/he wants the old way but if for you, you wanted it in different way then communication is the best solution.
As long as both of you are willing to communicate and be responsible to the words and actions for each other then you can work it all out.
Think with both yours and your partner's perspective. Pay attention to your partner's feelings too. Reflect to yourself.
Relationship requires time and effort. If that's really love then you dont have to worry...lean on each other.
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