Fear of The Dark
Hi...
I am silently whispering to you. I know it is not easy for you. It happens when you are in the dark. It's not your fault you're here.
Yes, I know. Life has brought you here. Into the darkness. To be alone, with yourself, and in silence.
Forgive me for disrupting your silence. I just wanted to say a few words.
Maybe you will want to hear them?
I am together with Your sadness. I know you feel like a bird in a net. You wonder, you try to untangle yourself until finally, you calm down. You finally accept destiny. But I am here.
I have found You, even though You have hidden in such a dark cave. But I have found You. I walked and suddenly... A pair of fiery eyes. I see that radiant Life in You. Give me your hand and let's get out of here. I was brought out the same way once. I could have been trapped in a cave. But I was founded. And I discovered You. What goes around comes around. Playing hide-and-seek, forgetting ourselves until we are found. Bringing us out into the day and reminding us who we are, and then eyes shine and the sky is no longer the limit. The most important thing is to spend our time in the dark. And when the time comes for the light, don‘t run from it, but to swim in it...
People complain to me that I write too much. And that I have already annoyed many people with my daydreams. I am very sorry.
Will you put on your black glasses? I believe it will be better. Calmer. Darker. I never asked for this hurricane in my head. But it is there. And writing is the way I have learned to calm this storm, finally.
Once again, my sincere apologies...
You and The world
**Could you live alone in the world?**
All alone.
A year, two, three? What would your day look like? Would it be very different from the activities you do every day? When you think about it, it's so much to take away. How many activities would fall away that you do for "others". You would be singing, painting, dancing from your heart. You would make your own feasts and delicious dinners. You would dream about the mysteries of the universe, looking at the infinite sky at night.
***You would have endless time to create an environment for yourself*****.**
An environment where you would be comfortable and safe. There is a big difference between what you do now and what you would do if you were alone. You may start muttering that you have to fit in, that you have to neglect your own needs when you live among people. But your life is yours and yours alone. Everything will disappear on your last breath as everything disappears at night when you fall asleep. We came alone, we leave this world alone. BUT, we can live and build the world together.
***By accepting and respecting ourselves, we will accept and respect others.***
That is a simple truth. Everyone sincerely tries to do the best they can at this moment according to their own minds. To live in a beautiful world, we need to love and have peace with ourselves. In this way, we can change our own destiny and show an example to others.
Happy people
**Life is suffering, and the cause of suffering is desire.**
There are so many things we desire. And when I don't get what I want, I suffer. It is as simple as that. Find the cause of suffering, get rid of it and everything should fall into place. If everything is good enough for you, you're in your shoes. And if all sorts of bad events happen, you either change your plan of action, or you accept that that's all you're worth.
***You are here in this world, you are a human being, and you spend your time uncomfortably*****.** Because government, mom, dad, neighbor, weather, boss, dog, society doesn't allow it. Well, if they don't allow it, then we don't do anything. If you do want to turn your life in a different direction, the first thing to do is to decide to do it. And just do it.
It doesn't have to be drastic. Just let go of those activities and actions that are dragging your mind down. It can be many things. Drugs, coffee, TV, internet, relationships. Maybe a job you don't like and where you feel you're wasting your life your precious time. Just hanging out in a company where nothing is happening except consumption.
**Start going to companies that are "different".**
After a few months of meditation, people are very surprised by the changes in their minds. They start to meet people who see the world and who solve problems differently. There are lots of events, sober festivals where you can have fun without alcohol or cigarettes.
**The next step is letting go of desires**.
Few people wake up from the lethargy of consumption. Where one bought thing forces to buy more. More, better, more original things. Symbols that make you think you are worth something. Look at my car, my wife, my luxury clothes, and other symbols of value. They mean that I am worth something. I've been in Holywood and Dubai and another dreamland is just around the corner... Look and tell me that I am worthy of being... that I am worthy of being loved and accepted. I need the support of others so much... or not.
**Freedom is when you no longer need anything.**
When you are enough. Not attached to the future. It's going to happen anyway. Many times it has been completely different from what was planned, different from what was needed. A lot of suffering because it was not the way you wanted it.
And what is the price of all this never-ending masquerade? Polluted air, rivers, ocean, relationships...and the unending unhappiness...
It doesn't mean that we don't have the possibility to be happy.
You see, happiness has nothing to do with things, status, or recognition.
**Happiness is a state of mind.**
It's the realization that you don't need anything at this moment. That the very fact that you are is enough.
Happy people always find ways to stay happy.
Lifespan
***The most amazing art gallery. The world around you. Full of different masterpieces.***
When the water freezes, you can carve in the ice anything the human mind can create. And so we stand in this gallery with people, houses, animals, and cities around us. Trying to create our own reality. When we get tired of looking, we move on to the next work. Sometimes we get so attached to the ice that we become afraid of spring. Because when the warmth returns, all our sculptures will turn into water and will go their own ways.
And then spring comes and we start to cry about our melting hopes. Trying to hold our dreams but it's like water in our hands. Flows through our fingers and then it leaves our world soaking into the ground.
Everyone knows that spring is a wonderful time. But to enjoy it, we have to let go of the ice and its forms.
*We are like reflections of the Sun on water.*
What's the life expectancy of man? How long does it take for a reflection to flash on the surface of the water? We cling and weep when the reflection extinguishes, forgetting that it was the Sun we saw. It's a small flash of a moment. Once we realize this, we begin to see the Sun in all reflections. In everyone. Even in ourselves. We are everything and nothing. Like water, which changes shapes but always remains water. Like the light of the Sun, which is sometimes seen as a reflection in water...
Who is the creator...
`“And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive...“`
`-Matthew 6:12-14`
The ancient words that we so diligently ignore, overlooking those keywords. If you understand Brahman, you do not understand Him. And if you don't understand Brahman, you understand Him. Brahman is known to those who do not know Him and is unknown to those who do. If you know Him, then you do not know Him. Ignorance is blissed.
Like forgiveness, it is not some service or noble act. It is simply a breaking of tension. Like taking your foot off the accelerator. Letting go of tense muscles. Release the pressure that you yourself have created. You will save an infinite amount of energy which when released will blow the roof off of your head. For those living in constant deprivation, a tiny income is like a flood.
To forgive others is to see others like clouds, like waves of the sea. You accept those facts without discussion. Because there are no others. There is only you. When you forgive others, you forgive yourself. By accepting others, you will learn to accept yourself. And so you will stop running in a closed circle. Trying to fit ourselves into rules and frames of our own making. Yes, our own rules and frames. By not accepting yourself, you don't accept others, and so you screw up this whole thing called misery. It's all in your will.
This world came into life when you were born, when you die it will disappear.
And why are You not the Creator?
Death and Life story
Once upon a time, Life and Death were usually enjoying their time in the park. Suddenly, they heard two flowers arguing…
*-I love you but you don't want me! If you wanted, you would pay attention, help, and support me. And now what? I don't get anything from you. Nothing at all. You give everything to others, what about me? If you cared about me at all, you'd behave differently...*
Life, smiling ear to ear, taps Death on the shoulder and they both start to laugh.
*- You see, he doesn't even realize that he's here because of me. That I am the cause of countless processes in every cell of his body. Thanks to me his eyes see, his ears hear, his hands feel, his nose smells...*
- *Oh yes, - says Death. And I still haven't touched him, and he's whimpering, demanding, begging...*
*- Desires, the cause of suffering. Through them man becomes obsolete, no longer sees what he has. He feels emptiness as if life itself is not important to him. He thinks that there is nothing worthy of attention and gratitude.*
*- But how quickly they become mindful after my touch - answers Death. You give them too much, so they don't appreciate it. You give the gift of life, imagination, creativity, and what do they do with it? They create problems and curse you, the ungrateful ones. Only when I take your gift from them do they seem to realize what they had, but it's too late...*
*- But not everyone,-says Life with a smile. Many appreciate and love me. And there are many who love You. Well, let's see how they get on. When you shake them, it's more fun. Then they start moving. Go on, get past them. That should help them sober up from their distractions.*
Death and Life are in love.
And we are the flowers of that love.
The easiest way
***People are wonderful. Such creative beings.***
The ones who have mastered the art of "not thinking". We are so perfect at NOT thinking that it is impossible not to admire it.
The funniest part is that if you were to define the problem – how to reduce the pain when sitting on an anthill? People choose painkillers, but they don't move their asses out of place in any way. Is that not an example of patience and endurance?
And yet they say they don't know how to meditate. Such ignorance of reality is a high state of meditation. What are we ignoring? First of all, ourselves, our values, our well-being, the voice of the consciousness, and the heart.
And if we call planet earth our home and humanity our family, we can ignore that too. The energies of creativity and destruction are of the same origin. It is only the way it is used that differs. But because we are wonderful, I believe that one day we will want to feel everything fully. And then we will put it all together accordingly.
But for now, let‘s keep learning and practicing.
Thank You
**Thank you.**
My sincere gratitude for everything that has happened in my life. To all the waves of life that have banged me into the rocky shores. Banged me without mercy and turned me into a tough, relentless fighter. Thanks to all Women, starting from my Mum, Sister, Grandma. Thanks to all my Lovers for the spells of Love that crushed my stoned heart. Blew into my heart life, love, tears, and feelings. Without all this, I would have been a heartless spartan.
Thanks to all men. My Father, whose absence has taught me not to attach to people and things. Thanks to my Grandparents, my Brother from whom I learned to care, strength, and simplicity. Thanks to all those who have beat me down, trained and made me stronger.
*Man has many faces. Some are visible with the eyes, others are invisible at all.*
When life hits you in the face, it beats you to your knees and you could stay in that state forever. Your shell cracks open and everything that is not you fall away. It's like rolling out of an egg to be reborn and become what you are meant to be.
*Dive into the pain with joy and gratitude, weep, moan and stand up again.*
I don't get attached to status and people because life is so magical and temporary. Every situation, relationship, experience is Life itself and I take it. And everything that surrounds me is not separate elements, but a single Miracle - Life.
Don't get attached to the details, get attached to the world. With the Heart. That is the only way to find yourself.
Fear or Joy?
*People are afraid of death...But it is often the case that they are also afraid of life.*
It is sad when fear is a more frequent companion than joy. We are so radically, deeply bathing in fear. Though sometimes we have dreams about breaking out of the suffocating frame of life. We dream about freedom, longing to be free to fly along the seashore, to soar through the sky or along a forest path. To fly fast and without...fear...
Fear is like a pet that grows and expands as it feeds until it begins to suffocate us more and more. Since we are the cause of fear's growth, only we can tame it and train it as a puppy.
How to do this?
*Use Your heart and mind.* First of all, stop lying to yourself. Stay aware. If you don't like something, you tell it Yourself. Tell it to others as well.
And because you are not a stone, you go to a place where you like it. And it's all your decisions, not influenced by someone else, but yours. Your suffering, because you chose to suffer. Your fear, because YOU chose to be afraid. Your happiness, because YOU chose to be happy. Not someone, not her, not his, not theirs.... but YOURS. You are not a wave of the sea, but a person who values the time of your life and makes choices. Openness takes courage. But what you get is priceless.
*It's called living with an open heart.*
Anger, Love, Pain, stress...
And if you recorded yourself...
One interesting man used to say that you don't have to resist anyone, but vice versa.
Dive as deep as possible into everything that comes before your eyes. If you're angry, dive into anger with awareness, mindfulness. Become anger, dive deep, feel hatred in all its power. If you love, dive into love. If you smoke, smoke with full attention. When your mind is diving and if you want to meet yourself, try to take a camera with you.
Don't run away from anything, accept everything, one hundred percent.
Only in this way will you grasp the essence of what you feel. Otherwise, you will have to drag yourself around with these emotions all your life. Without understanding what they are and what they teach you you can't hear yourself.
All those teachers we humiliate by not listening to them, by silencing and ignoring them. Until the voice from within comes "release the demons".
My friends, do whatever you want with yourselves. Even if you think you know what others should do. Let us not impose our script on others, especially on those we call beloved ones. They have their own path, their own furrow, and if they are here now, it does not mean that it will be like this forever. And it does not mean they will leave us. Often the loved ones, who have left us, teach us lessons for the rest of our lives when we remember them. All the moments they gave us, shared with us, we will remember. Even though they are no longer with us, everything is real and alive. Especially if we loved them from the bottom of our hearts.
And we know how to love deeply...
Don't we?
Take Your Time
My soul did not come from anywhere. It came from there...
Just like every other soul, I meet on my path. Every person I meet comes from the same source. Few of them see and hear themselves clearly. Others are more hidden in themselves, in their fear and suffering cave. There they are, waiting, listening...
It is not for me to decide who will crawl out of their shells and who will stay in them. In my eyes, we are all equal, like grains of sand in the desert. And that's it. And it is up to us to decide whether being carried by the wind makes sense or not.
It seems that we have devalued ourselves so much that we no longer take any time for ourselves.
We are always throwing ourselves away. We hand ourselves over to the doctors. Then they lock us up in their nursing homes because of the illnesses we cause ourselves. For those who have no time for themselves. If we are looking for a job or purpose in life, again it is not ourselves that we are searching answers in:
- What are YOU interested in? What do YOU want?
And again we put ourselves in the hands of others. Looking for answers in the articles with "TOP best jobs in the world", asking friends advice. As if they know better what to do with all that I don't know at all about myself, but we say "I". We are like kids rubbing against their parents' knees, hoping for attention and love. And we keep pushing ourselves away. Handing ourselves to strangers or sites. Every now and then getting away from being with ourselves.
But of course, we have to start somewhere. You don't carry around a magical chest of wisdom and advice. You have to start somewhere. And maybe it's better to visit a house of prayer than take a bottle of vodka in the morning.
A house of prayer... Does God hear better there? He's in your heart if you need him. But do you know how to hear yourself?
Take the time to feel... to feel the wonder of existence. Then the whole world will become a House of Prayer. And you won‘t need to stay in a cave...
Adults games
You have no idea how much I need...
Sometimes I wish I wouldn't need anything, which is also a desire.
What if suddenly you were the only one left in the whole World? What would you do? You could live in the most luxurious palace and go whatever You want. You could pack as many diamonds and gold as you could carry. You could drive the most luxurious cars and wear the most extravagant clothes.
You'd spend your days in front of the mirror and would be enjoying your reflection in this endless luxury.
But would you be a happy human being? Wouldn't you go to some humble den after a while? Wouldn't you start looking for a place based on coziness and simplicity? To choose clothes according to comfort and symbolism that remind you of the life essence? And the need for gold, yachts, and planes, wouldn‘t it fade away, since you can't show it to anyone?
If it's daytime, we are rewarded with sunrise and sunset every day. If nature rewards us with remarkable fauna and fragrant flora why is there a desire to carry so much with us? For the sake of other eyes? Maybe we are covering invisible holes in the soul with luxurious things so we wouldn't feel so empty. And so that the watching eyes wouldn't notice, we try to cover them with decorations.
it’s just adults games we play,
Oh well, let's keep watching...
I want to break free
***“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”***
***― William Goldman***
Or try to find an activity you enjoy so that you don't have to work a single day after all? Find a job that doesn't need a holiday? To be with those who encourage you to grow rather than those who cut your wings?
it is worth at least trying to live in joy and happiness because life is not so long to live in misery.
Alcoholics and drug addicts alike are afraid to get sober. They don't see the reality they have created by their actions. So they continue their intoxication. They continue with the same story, living with the same script. And where does this endurance come from?
**FEAR.**
To see oneself, to face one's thoughts, is scary.
-I don't want to, I am not what I see and think... So they live in a constant fight with themselves, and a cigarette in their hand.
Sometimes close people, employers, family members, or relatives are intoxicating us. The ones who have the power to influence us are close to our hearts. Against whom there are no protections, no shields. Attempts to break your self-esteem so that you stop being who you are.
- Why do you read books? Do you think you are smarter than me?
- Why do you stop drinking? You used to smoke and drink man. There's nothing to do with you now.
- Why don't you still have a girlfriend? At your age, I was already with a child.
- Since when have you been meditating? Can't you handle your mind?
The phrases you hear from your relatives, under which you hide your wings as if they were the greatest shame. You're learning to talk about subjects that are alien to you. Sometimes you even use intoxicants that make you sick so you would stay in the crowd. Because it's scary to be alone.
But they are shadows of the past.
The same with relationships. On a first date, you hear things that a person doesn't tolerate. Things that make them leave their loved ones. And then you realize they're offering you a piece of jewelry which once you have it, make you the person you need to be. But for now, you are nothing. After that, all that‘s left is a slow walk through a "minefield" and... a journey away from the "war zone".
Life is an adventure, not torture. Sober people choose the freedom to be. It doesn't mean they are alone. They have themselves. And people like them, who are playful and fun. Poisoned people find it difficult to think straight. They are in a kind of dream, in a spiritual coma. Their bodies are flowing around and their hearts in silence. with the same script. And where does this endurance come from?
How to break free? How to notice that moment when, not wanting to hear yourself, you choose intoxication?
Everyone knows...
Doesn't it?...?
First try
'll write here, somewhere on virtual reality. In a space where we listen and understand each other, tolerate each other.
Here is much more joy and less stress. Just sharing everyday thoughts of my mind. If you want to hear easy thoughts and strangely made sentences (English is not my first language :) stay. Or you maybe want to sober up from the waves of anxiety, from the information streams of everyday life. I’ll share the stories so You could take a mindful break. And if You will share your stories with me, I’ll take that break as well. :)
I wish you beautiful thoughts,
do good deeds,
And have a great day :)
P.S. If you have any suggestions, questions, bits of advice I would be very pleased to hear You :)
@RainNotes