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A Wedding I Will Not Be Attending
My wife and I were supposed to be attending a wedding on the 22nd of October, 2021. But we will not be attending. Even though this is the fourth postponement of the wedding mainly because of the pandemic. And even though this is my younger cousin's wedding. I had actually planned to attend. It seemed like it might be a good time. But that was then. When the first invite was sent out almost two years ago. The thing is, it has turned into a bit of a fiasco in my opinion.
Look, I don't mind weddings. But weddings are supposed to be a good time. They are supposed to be a simple and fun celebration of the unification of two people who have found love and who have decided to make it official. Reading over my invitation, this has become a black tie affair, and very formal. I will not be able to wear any suit I might have in my closet. Instead, I will have to wear a tuxedo. I do not own a tuxedo, and never would, so I would have to rent one.
My wife cannot pick out a simple, nice dress for the event. It must be a formal gown, like a ball gown. She does not own a formal evening gown, and so we would either have to rent one, or buy one. The cost of a tuxedo rental these days? About $200. The cost of a formal evening gown these days? Anywhere from $200-$400 depending on where you get it and what deals you might find. And of course the evening gown is going to be a one-time, one-use thing. Who wears formal evening gowns anymore? Besides that, the wedding will be held in the grand ballroom of The Drake hotel in Chicago. Rooms there per night? About $400. And since there would of course be drinking involved, it would just make sense to not try to drive to a cheaper hotel somewhere else, but to just stay at The Drake for the night.
But you can't just park your car. It's valet parking only. And if you are planning to stay overnight you can't park your car yourself either. It's $80 to have your car parked overnight, by the valet—and of course you have to tip your valet driver. And it's The Drake. So, a proper tip is probably around $20-$30. Not to mention, since Chicago is about 4 hours from where I live, I would likely just drive. With gas prices the way they are right now I'd probably spend at least $100 on gas. And of course there is also the wedding gift to consider. We'd give anywhere from $100-$200. Considering the dinner menu which includes seafood, we'd likely wind up on the higher end of that gift. Plus, they are requiring proof of vaccination for Covid-19, and if you can't provide that, you are required to do a rapid test at the door at a cost of around $100.
All said, my cost to attend this wedding? Around $800. Not that money is an object for me. But it's just the point. It's way too expensive, and frankly way too formal for me. I can think of far more things to do with $800 that would be a lot more fun than this quite honestly. And I also know there will be a lot of hoity-toity people attending this thing. I might be considered to be rich, but I have never hung around rich people—or people who present themselves as rich mostly. Because to me they are just fake and I can't stand them. I have never flaunted my money. It is enough for me alone to know what I have. It's just not my thing. The whole affair. The whole fiasco. The whole "look at me and what I have" thing. I'm out. So, I will simply send a card and make some excuse for my inability to attend, thank you very much. *Lead image courtesy of Pixabay, user Takmeomeo.* *Heart Wedding Marriage - Free photo on Pixabay* https://pixabay.com/photos/heart-wedding-marriage-hands-529607/
19 comments
Whoa! Indeed costly to attend. I will opt out too if in your shoes :)
Yeah. Just way too much, and a little too hoity toity for my tastes.
Better use the money in something you will enjoy :)
Hahaha so this is that wedding. That is quite expensive and quite a shell out ... With the cost considered plus the effect socially (i imagine the drain), I don't think the whole event will be comfortable to go to. I might back out too
The one word that does not come to mind when I think about this wedding is fun. lol
Haha I'd agree with you there . It is very far from fun
For me, it's the right decision. That $800 of yours is too much to attend a wedding. Especially nowadays, we need to save more because corona still not vanish and more different viruses appear.
weddings in the philippines has also become like this... you spend on expensive dress and shoes which can only be work once so I am also not very into attending weddings that require such dress code
This is actually sad :(. Here, the family of the bride/groom is supposed to take care of the stay. In your case, it's about $400 is which already 50% of your total expense.
The money is not the only reason for decision. But it is definitely a part of it. If I liked the kid more maybe I would be more considering of the whole thing. But he's honestly a little bit of a douche. lol
In that case, it's your choice hehe. Here, weddings are a grand affair, around 500 people are invited, if not less, and family ties are a huge thing. You have to attend whether you like it or not. You are only exempted in two cases, 1. Your exams are clashing. 2. The event is very far from where you live. If an invitee does not appear, it's taken as an insult to the inviter, and someone is not invited, they might take it as an insult. Literally everyone at the wedding is gonna ask why were the family not invited or if invited, why didn't they come. The insult might lead to cutting ties with the family. It's gonna be a big issue in the coming family events too. They've made a satirical episode (20 mins) on it here- https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13760082/ I'm not sure if you have Sony Liv. 'Saparivar' means- along with the entire family. So in this case, the initiation was only given to one member of the family completely disregarding everyone else.
Oh gosh. This all seems WAY too formal for me. A wedding is not about grandeur. It is not about who shows up. It's not about showing what you have. It's not about tradition. It is not about anything other than the joining of two people in Holy matrimony. If it is anything else, to my mind, it is all smoke and mirrors and fake. And not worth anyone's time.
I go away from these types of events since a long time. And I can think of hundreds of things to do that I would enjoy much more with 800 dollars.
It's been year's I attended a wedding. I have known marriage to be simply the joining of two people who have agreed to live together till - all that's needed is an officiating minister and a couple of witnesses. .. But getting married now in my country is something else. There is the traditional and them the white wedding. Depending on the tribe, there are some traditional rites you have to fulfil. All there cost money. That said, you've got an expensive invite. $800 is huge expensive just to attend a wedding. That amount is enough to see my sibling through University. Well, you said money isn't your main reason... In the end, your interest comes first.
Damn it is an expensive event to attend actually. I do not like to have dress code in whichever events that I attend especially when I do not have the clothes and I will have to rent them.
>Because to me they are just fake and I can't stand them. Me too! You and I are gonna get along just fine. LOL. On one hand, I'm sorry you and your wife are not able to attend the wedding. But on the other hand, I'm sure it was a big relief once you've made the decision not to attend. Stay safe, friend.
I am not rich like you so I know I won't be invited to such an elegant, expensive weddings like this. 😁 I too don't want to rub elbows with the show-off, I feel that they are fake and if I mix with them I will feel fake myself.
Hi! :)! I read all your posts word by word, but was mind-blocked to comment something useful. I don't know why, I'm just blank sometimes. Thanks for the posts :)!
Oh my. i think I'll be like you in the future. HHaha i mean when one invites me to attend his/her wedding? I'll consider it if he or she is dear and kind to me, but as I've read your reply to stea that he's a douche, then I'll rather not show up. I hate formal events as such. I mean all they do is to flaunt and show off their "money" and even achievements or whatnots. Can't they just shut their mouth? And my most hated will be those fake people who're faking they are rich. Oh god, there are so many here my head's throbbing at the sight. Lol. hahaha sorry but yeah, I'm just saying coz it's really, slightly irritating