@PenPals 17 March 2022

I found myself flying while the wind inside me was blowing nonstop **A battalion of riots.** **A battalion of imperative moods.** **The silent identity of love, but when I manage to love silently from afar very well, when I confess it out loud, the climate called love wraps me up even more.** **I am a teacher's daughter and thanks to my lawyer father, my classmate saw himself as superior to me and constantly criticizes what I wear or what I own, when I was clean and the apple of my family's eye, I never had anything to worry about.**

**My school uniform was always sparkling and ironed, I would never miss my ornament, when I say ornaments: the colorful hairpins I wore in my hair and the colorful sweaters I wore over my school uniform...** **Then life began to change very quickly.** **We were in high school now and there was an exam marathon waiting for me anyway, my dear friend, because I was a good student, he wouldn't hurt me a little, and for some reason, he would have to complete at least three or four lessons every year and blame me.** **I still carried my friend on my head with pure and sincere feelings, then I had another friend that I loved sincerely and saw that; This new friend of mine was very attracted to my desk mate.** **I was just learning what jealousy and envy meant the most, and somehow I felt like I was in the background, no matter how tight-lipped the three girls were.** **The feelings that haunted me from my childhood, moreover, I was not curious about and somehow I let it hurt me with its sharp tongue.** **My words were very cool back then, and when I was the apple of my literature teacher's eye, I somehow made the wrong decision and aimed to study business, so the notion called literature would seem distant to me, and I would understand after a long time that my real sense of belonging matched with literature.** **Of course, the writing function somehow took me captive, and I always bought fancy papers and pens, even at my age, the top of my desk is colorful.** **This is my only luxury:** **I am as happy as I am.** **This is my only fault:** **Do I love, I pass myself...** **The storks, on the other hand, are still chattering and rather seagulls have taken their place and they will not miss from our window and how a flock of sparrows flies when we put a crumb of bread on them.** **I still can't decide which side of my bed to sleep on, after all, I usually fall asleep while reading and rest my head on my books instead of a pillow...** **No, no, I shouldn't exaggerate that much, at least I should say that I rest my head on my conscience instead of a pillow, and I usually fly in my dreams, and my favorite is my dear school, which is not missing from my dreams.** **Love is such a thing.** **No reason to love?** **People love for no reason, especially when my imagination was quite wide since my childhood...** **The people I love have migrated and gone.** **There are those who will not return, and among those I know that even if they do, we will not be the same as before.** **There are also new people, a mass that I share my life with and growing day by day.** **While the wind inside me is blowing nonstop, I have made a contract with my inner voice, and when I find myself flying, I touch life and pen with love...** **It's not my thing to summarize, because I'm always like this:** **Chopping and changing.**

**No matter how many blows I take, people and their aftershocks always pass by, and even though my heart is broken, is it possible for me to destroy my compass to thousands of pieces?** **Moreover, in my day and in my world, there is no one to whom I hold accountable because fate closes some accounts, and the only thing I owe is my Lord: I have a debt of life and a heart full of gratitude, especially thanks to the grace of my Lord that I still manage to be full of hope and love next to all the pain and sadness that have invaded my life. While I put all my reservations aside and still offer my heart with all my good intentions, I am writing to people as of now and I would not be with you...**