Finally experienced writer's block
Today has been stressful and tiring, especially towards ending. I have however been thinking of what to post tonight but no idea yet. Maybe I'll just post how I spent my day.
It was my girlfriend's call that woke me up at around past 7. We asked each other how the night went and gave some gist on how we intend to spend the day.
I afterwards brushed my teeth and washed myself ready to eat, but I didn't eat afterwards. I instead played game on my phone. My friend that I'm staying with just introduced the Chess game to me. It could turn out to be a very addictive game. Before I knew it, my friend challenged me to let us play each other (I've been playing against computer on phone). We played each other and it lasted over an hour. He eventually won the game as expected though it was a long game. We played two rounds and so bad I was defeated in both. I must not forget we ate while playing the game.
We both slept off after eating and playing and woke up at same time around past 3. My friend then told me we should go see a friend in our area. I took my bath and dressed up.
We arrived at the friend's house full of energy and vibe, though it was tiring as it was a bit far and we trekked to the place. The last time we met was last week Wednesday. So we basically gisted on how we have been spending our day since then. He's been tied up with house work project since then so he was unable to visit us. I would be traveling back to school by weekend. So we selected friday as our next and last meeting of the three of us before I travel back.
Getting back home was the tiring part. This is partly because of the stress of trekking and also partly because I was getting hungry.
On getting home, we started cooking rice for dinner. The gas had finished and so we had to make use of charcoal fire. The charcoal fire was going to take more time before the food get done. During the cooking, I called my girlfriend and we spoke all through the cooking duration of over an hour. I had to hang up when food was ready. Food better pass love 😅.
After eating, my friend requested we play one round of chess game. As usual, he beat me again and ruined my mood. After the game, we had some discussions about life and relationship.
This is sleep time and I have wanted to post here since morning. This is how I spent my day. I thought it worthy to share instead of posting nothing. I hope it brought some smile to you reading.
There is a hidden power in your mind!
A patient once complained of severe body pain to a medical doctor. The medical doctor checked him and came to a conclusion that he only needed rest and no medication. Being used to taking pain relieving pills, the patient insisted he must be given one and a very strong one. The doctor took ordinary white coloured vitamin C and gave it to the man as the strongest pain relieving pill available which the patient took with absolute joy and relief. After about two hours, the doctor asked the man about his body pain. The patient said the body pain had disappeared and thanked the doctor for his care and professional qualities and that the pill is the best pain relieving pill he has ever taken. He even went on to hail the hospital as one of the best in town. Meanwhile, the doctor just told him he took ordinary vitamin C and not a pain relieving pill! The man was amused and his response was what you might also be bemused about, how come vitamin C worked for body pain? There is definitely no medical ground for the man's relief. Vitamin C is supposed to be a body supplement and mainly used to relieve catarrh and cold. There is no link between it and body pain! Hence, the doctor gave his explanation to the old patient that it was actually his mind. He had trained his mind to heal his body only when he takes a pain relieving pill. His mind was only deceived into thinking he took a pain relieving pill.
He further explained how many people has through their mind become a drug addict to body ailments that could be naturally cured. The mind has been holding the body in the sicknesses. A good example of such is in the use of paracetamol for common headache. Most people have trained their mind not to heal their body until they take in a particular pill.
There is no better example than a person addicted to the use if sleeping pill. Lot of people suffering from Insomnia have trained their mind not to allow the body rest unless they make use of a particular sleeping pill.
*Insomnia is a sleep disorder where you have trouble falling or staying asleep as well as trouble enjoying your sleep.*
Some people are disposed towards taking sleeping pills occasionally. They program their mind already not to give the body rest if they don't take the pill at least once a week. Some are more frequent while some less. I suffered from this a lot really earlier this year and I know how it feels, but I learned to train my mind to believe that I could sleep without taking sleeping pill and I was able to sleep well and long enough as I'm supposed to.
A lot of medically related addictions are as a result of the training people give their mind. Addictions to cigarettes, cocaine, migraines , Indian hemp , alcohol and the likes are linked to the mind. The mind is made to believe that if they don't take these drugs, they won't feel okay which is an absolute lie. To break loose from these heavy addictions, you just need to train your mind to enjoy and get high at other things like sports, a relationship partner or spouse, having fun with friends, and any other thing you can think of.
Utilizing the mind well could increase your physical well-being and help increase your daily productivity. I have therefore come to the conclusion that there is a latent (hidden) power in the mind.
My girlfriend visited me for the first time and it was a disaster!
My girlfriend visited me yesterday, I was very happy about her coming but after analysing my treatment of her, it was a disaster!
We have gone on several dates and it was very fine and left sweet memories. I was hoping her first visitation would also leave such sweet memory, but in truth, it was the reverse.
We have met in previous weeks and agreed she would visit me yesterday. She was even more interested in the visit while I was a little reluctant, howbeit, we agreed on yesterday.
What exactly made it a disaster? What were the five things I got wrong?
My dressing was at its possible worst. I had gotten too comfortable with her such that I forgot I should dress to impress her on this her first visit. I normally would dress well and look good when going out to meet her, but on this particular day, I felt at home and saw no need to dress specially. I was just in my usual home attire, in a black trouser and not-so-good-looking hoodie. I can tell from her body expression and mood that she was not happy with that.
Second thing I got wrong was I did not greet her well when I saw her. I went out to take her home from a location close to my house. Upon seeing her, I was just smiling sheepishly and at same time annoyingly. She even complained to me last night about this. I ought to go meet her where I sight her and give her a warm hug. It would surely give her a reassurance of how much I love her doing so openly.
Upon offering her a seat, I almost immediately offered her drink and snacks I got earlier for her. This particularly annoyed her, not because I offered the drink to her, but because of the timing. I made her felt like she came all the way from a long distance for just a drink and snack. She really did not take the drink and snack but I made sure she took it along with her when leaving. This again is another thing I got wrong. Another lesson learnt a hard way. Don't offer a drink too early!
I was not touchy and romantic enough. Unlike our previous date outings, I hardly touched her save for a handshake. No body contact or romantic touch from me. I can tell you ladies love this so much and can breakup for this seemingly "little" reason. No hugs, no kisses, no flinging of my hand around her waist, no pecking her on the cheek despite her angelic beauty.
Lastly, I was annoyingly passive all through. She was the one trying to make our company an interesting one. She was the one who suggested we watched a movie or two and started lots of conversations beforehand. I was only getting caught up in her ideas without none from me. I barely made her laugh and I can bet she felt lonely. We've not been like this and it was strange of me. It gave me a hard time thinking of how our marriage would be like if we eventually get married. A boring one or an interesting one? I can't say for now!
I hope you can learn few things here if you are also planning on a first visit and I hope you can relate if you have had yours already.
Thanks for reading!
Controversial Political Facts in Nigeria
The misconceptions about the political system in Nigeria is on a high rate. It really has to do with what has been stated in the constitution, not about what people think. It would be acceptable if these misconceptions are coming from a foreigner. However, It is comes majorly from the uninformed Nigerians themselves.
Having seen the level of ignorance of people, I have decided to write this article to enlighten the mass about the Nigerian political system. However, The purpose of writing is not only for ignorant Nigerians, but also for the watching foreigners who might have presumed that the political system of their country is same as here and thus unknowingly pass out unfair judgement.
The Government is divided into Federal, State and Local Government - The three levels of government from the most powerful to the least powerful.
The Federal Government has the legislature, the judiciary and the executive.
I would however not go into detail of the government structures, but instead draw out the controversial aspects of the political system in Nigeria.
SECURITY : The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria is also the Chief Commander of the Army Staff. The President as well as its army staff has the responsibility of securing the nation from foreign enemies and also internal terrorists. As of today, the system of police in the country is termed "central Police". This means the Governor of a state or the Chairman of a local Government does not have power to give orders to the army within its state. This means upon the rise of terrorism in a state for example, The Governor has to rely upon the intervention of the Nigerian Army has ordered by the Chief of Army Staff, that is the President. Furthermore, The use of Central Police system requires that the commissioner of police of a state needs approval from the Inspector General of Police of Nigeria at the F.C.T to execute certain orders given by the state Governor. Also, the Inspector General of Police must receive the approval of such order from the Sitting President. In one sense, the country and its state is secured by the President, leaving little or no room for the State governors. In contrast, some other countries make use of the State Police system. The state police system gives the Governor of a state power over its army and police to give orders. This solely means that The Governor of the State is in charge of the security of its state while the President looks after security of its country against foreign enemies. This is the system used in United States of America and some other civilized countries.
RESOURCES : The resources of each state is managed by the Federal Government. Some of the natural resources found in Nigeria are Crude Oil, Coal and Tin among others. These natural resources are mainly used to generate income in running the country by foreign stock exchange. The Federal Government in turn sends a fixed monthly allocation to each state according to the natural resources found in the state and the population of the state.
INCOME GENERATION : Each state government is in charge of the income revenue generated by its state. Income are generated in the state through payment of tax, land use charge, police bails, government institutions such as schools, hospitals and various ministries, transportation revenue and so on. The federal government also generates income internally in the same way.
ROAD NETWORK AND INFRASTRUCTURES : There are federal Roads which forms a the link between states and there are state road network which forms the roads inside the state. The local Government also plays a role in the development and maintenance of its roads. Certain Governors, due to the importance of a federal road to his state can request for and receive permission to develop a federal road for the convenience of all. Infractructures such as social amenities, health centres, libraries, and so on can be state owned or federal owned and funded. The creation os more of such increases employment opportunities for the people.
EDUCATION SYSTEM : The education system of Nigeria is generally the 9-3-4 system. This means that the pupil mus compulsorily spend 9 years in the primary and Junior Secondary, followed by 3 years of Senior secondary education and then at least 4 years of Tertiary education depending on the course registered for. There are Private owned schools as well as Government owned schools in all the levels of education from the Primary to the Tertiary level in the country.Furthermore, there are state owned schools and federal owned schools which run independently of each other.
There are still lots other matters to discuss, but these ones are the ones often misunderstood and misjudged among the people of Nigeria and the onlooking foreigners. You may as well share other points or your own opinion of the points discussed.
Thanks for reading.
Silent sex struggles that married couples go through
Although people don't like talking about this issue, it is a problem in lots of marriages. The couples might even find it embarrassing to share with a counselors.
Some religious extremist might even not want to mention or hear annoy sex struggles as they see talking about it as sin. This actually is a very wrong mentality and should be discarded.
Here are the silent struggles couples experience
1. A SPOUSE WHO WANTS TOO MUCH SEX
Some are married to a spouse (often times the husband) who wants sex regularly. This can easily make one feel used. Usually in such situations, the emotional connection is also weak. Address this by learning to do other things as a couple that don't involve sex
2. A SPOUSE WHO IS NOT INTERESTED IN SEX
Some are married to a spouse (often times the wife) who shows no interest in sex, perhaps because of emotional strain, past wounds, hormones, negative view towards spouse or as a result of conflict. Address this by talking things out, open up, change contraceptives. Realize that love making is important in marriage
3. A SPOUSE WHO DOES NOT TAKE CARE OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
It is a struggle to kiss, lick, touch, rub or even make love to someone who doesn't brush their teeth, shower, wears the same underwear for days or doesn't care about presentation. If you have such a spouse, encourage each other to shower together, buy him/her underwear and recommend they be worn to excite you, form a couple's routine. If you are the culprit, remember that hygiene inspires intimacy
4. LUST
Lust will make you struggle to be faithful, it will make you flirt with others over the phone, at the wotk place, in the neighbourhood and social media making it uncomfortable for your spouse. It can affect your desire for your spouse. Lust dies when you stop feeding it. Check out of lustful conversations, see people around you with respect, not sexual objects
5. UNMET SEXUAL EXPECTATIONS
There is nothing as frustrating as being married but your sexual needs are not being fully met. Most likely they are not being fully met because you have not lovingly communicated to your spouse what you want, your favourite sexual positions and your fantasies. But remember, before you expect your spouse to meet your sexual needs, meet his/her sexual needs
6. MEMORIES OF AN EX WHO USED TO BE GREAT IN BED
Some people are fighting the memories they had of their ex/exes in bed. As they have sex with their spouse, they have images of the ex in mind. Let go of the past. See your spouse for the uniqueness he/she is. Start to praise your spouse sexually and your mind will register your spouse as the new definition of sexy
7. PORNOGRAPHY
Pornography will distract you from cultivating intimacy with your spouse. It will make you ignore your spouse without you knowing it just to look at videos and pictures of naked strangers banging. Address this by desiring the real thing, not illusions and porn stars. Train yourself to say no
8. MASTURBATION
Masturbation will make your spouse compete with your fingers. Your fingers will most likely win because you know how to please yourself but your marriage will lose. Address this by teaching your spouse how you want him/her to please you since you have already learnt your body
9. A PENIS THAT CANNOT SUSTAIN AN ERECTION
Most men lose their erection due to panic or lack of concentration because sex starts in the mind. Address this by calming down, relax, be in the moment, enjoy every sensation
10. AN OVERTHINKING WIFE WHO STRUGGLES TO CLIMAX
Most wives who struggle to climax is because they over think. "Have the kids eaten? Is my vagina smelling? Is he really enjoying it? Am I moaning too loud? Am I too wet? Have we paid rent? Did I remember to pay the chama? Is the salon open tomorrow? Which weave should I put on next? I forgot to call Njambi"... These are some of the thoughts running through her mind as he is pumping. Lady, relax
11. A PENIS THAT EJACULATES TOO QUICKLY
If she makes you ejaculate that means she is so sweet and that is a good thing but what she desires is that you stay hard longer. Last by stopping the pumping when you feel you are about to climax, change positions at that time so that you look cool while at it
12. LOW SELF-ESTEEM
If you doubt your own sexiness and performance then intimacy will suffer. Confidence is crucial when it comes to all things sex. Embrace your body, your tummy, sagging breasts, stretch marks, balding head, your physique. Take care of your body, work out. Flaunt to your spouse what is good about you. Praise each other's looks and performance to boost confidence
13. AFFAIRS
When another is already servicing your body, you will come home to a spouse you are not interested in. On top of that, you will be filled with guilt to the point that you struggle to connect with your spouse; and if your spouse suspects or knows, he/she will shut you out. Just let the affair end
14. COMPARISONS WITH OTHER COUPLES
When you hear or read the colourful sex stories of other couples, of how the wife squirts, how the husband lasts for forty minutes, how the wife rides like a pro, how the husband feasts on her clitoris till she cries; you might begin to question your own marriage and whether you two are happily married. Each marriage is unique, make your own special memories
Scientists discover Forest Inside a Giant Sinkhole in China
A hidden Ancient Forest is discovered at bottom of huge sinkhole in Guangxi region of China.
A group of Chinese scientists set out on the usual outings for scientific discoveries. What they found earlier this month was eye-catching as they discovered a forest now referred to as "Hollow Earth" in a giant sinkhole. It's all vaguely reminiscent of the Hollow Earth from Godzilla vs. Kong... but there's no sign of any kaiju yet.
The Sinkhole is about 630ft (200meters) deep, 1,000ft (306meters) long and 490ft (150meters) wide. The size of the sinkhole is not the only significant thing. The scientists hiked for few hours to reach the base of the sinkholes to see what it contains.
Experts confirmed that the sinkhole base contains lots of ancient trees and plants and some animal species. It is claimed that the sinkhole may contain species of plants and animals not previously known or seen. The ancient trees and plants are about 40 meters tall.
**What is a Sinkhole?**
A Sinkhole is a hole in the ground which is formed when the land collapses away leaving a big hole on the surface.
It happens when the rock underneath the ground is dissolved with water or any other chemical substance.
Sinkholes can cause a lot of damage to the surrounding land.
It is however nothing new to discover sinkholes in China, especially in Southern China. It has been discovered in recent years in the country
This is a typical sinkhole. Now, imagine having a sinkhole as deep as 200 meters and wide as 150 meters. This is why the sinkhole discovered this month in China is a topic of discussion and speculations and likely to draw attention of lots of scientists and researchers from various parts of the world.
The scientists found out that the sinkhole has three caves in its walls and a well-preserved ancient forest at the bottom. It was also confirmed that there was sense undergrowth on the floor that came up to its shoulders.
Chen Lixin, who led the research team reported to state news agency in a statement that : "I wouldn't be surprised to know there are species found in these caves that have never been reported or described by science until now."
While the enormity of the sinkhole and its cluster of contents may be eye-opening for many, George Veni, the executive director of the National Cave and Karst Research Institute in the U.S., told Live Science the discovery is not as surprising to researchers, as southern China is known for its karst landscapes featuring "dramatic sinkholes and otherworldly caves."
The Atomic Bombing Of Hiroshima And Nagasaki
Introduction
This happened in the second world war when the first atomic bomb was unleashed upon Hiroshima and Nagasaki of Japan.
It is important to remind you of the world war which spanned from 1939 to 1945. The European ally of Japan, which was chiefly Germany had recently surrendered to the western Europe and the United States. Japan as well were expected to sign peace treaty as offered by the United states. Defeat seems inevitable for Japan and in the wake of this, they increased their brutality towards their Asian counterpart, China.
The Manhattan Project
Even before the start of the second war, The United States of America had made movement to develop atomic weapons (maybe because Germany have started developing theirs). They had organized scientists in the related fields and are supervised by the military scientists and leaders. The aim is not to be caught off-guard by the development in atomic weapons from Germany.
In 1940, The U.S government ordered the productions of the nuclear weapons. The responsibility of carrying out the work was under the Office of Scientific Research and Development and the war development. The U.S Army Corps of Engineers were the supervisors of the project coded "Manhattan Project".
The raw materials needed for the project were Uranium-235 and Plutonium-239. These materials (elements) were made available within few years. A team led by J.Robert Oppenheimer in Mexico managed to turn these materials into workable atomic bombs. It was afterwards tested at the Trinity test site, Alamogordo, New Mexico.
"Little Boy and Fat Man"
After the defeat of Germany in the world war, it became inevitable that Japan would lose out on the battle and so they increased their brutality in the pacific. The allies demanded that japan surrender but they ignored the warning which threatened "prompt and utter destruction".
In order to minimize the number of U.S casualities, the U.S military decided to use atomic bombs on strategic places in Japan over the conventional bombing previously used. Besides this, the use of the atomic bomb would not only bring an end to the war more quickly, but also make sure U.S remains in position to determine the post-war fate.
Hiroshima is a manufacturing center with not less than 350,000 population, located some miles away from Tokyo. The 9,000 pounds Uranium-235 bomb was loaded aboard a modified B-29 bomber which dropped the bomb over the city. The bomb known as "Little Boy" exploded about 2,000 feet above Hiroshima destroying 5 square miles of the city.
The Japanese leaders were unmoved by the Hiroshima bombing and so the U.S military selected Nagasaki, a secondary target because of heavy clouds over the primary target, the city of Kokura. The plutonium bomb known as "Fat man" which weighed 10,000 pounds was dropped over the city. The topography of the city limited the effect of the bomb to just 2.6 square miles.
The Bombing Effect
Due to the adverse effect of the bomb on the cities, the Japanese leader, Emperor Hirohito announced his country's surrender on the national broadcast news. This news sparked celebrations in U.S and the allied nations as "Victory in Japan" is celebrated.
The bombing wiped out entirely two cities of Japan's infrastructure. The amount of death tolls over the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki remains unknown although there are rumours of estimates of about 70,000 to 135,000 people in Hiroshima and 60,000 to 80,000 people in Nagasaki were claimed to be dead from exposure to the bomb blasts and prolonged exposure to the radiation.
The radiation effect of the bomb were said to be felt over some more years in the area and surrounding area but all these are yet to be confirmed.
Working with a female boss
After being off for almost a month, here I am back at it again on read.cash. I have been off due to issues with my device which thankfully is now resolved.
This article as specified on the topic is based on how to handle a female boss.
It is important to note, first, that females generally do want to be bossy and have men under control. So being a female boss having men under as workers is already a dream come true for most women. Hence, the female boss will be eager to exercise the rare authority to control a man or men. It is natural for a female boss to want to be more bossy than a male boss.
I obviously do prefer working under a male boss than a female, but I'm obliged to work under the female as long as it is professional and money is involved, lol. It is obviously almost unavoidable not to work under a female boss at one point or another of a man's life, hence the need to know how to cope and manage with a female boss.
It is important to note that two kinds of female boss exist : The kind ones which are rare and The annoying and frustrating ones. As it is easier to cope with the kind ones, this article will focus on the frustrating ones.
KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT
What is right and what is wrong must be crystal clear to you. Trust me, You cannot work based on momentary orders of a female boss. You must be sure of what you are doing. Women can say Yes today and No tomorrow based on how they feel at the moment and there is not an exception at professional work.
Let me share a personal experience with you. I was ordered to give discounts to customers based on my discretion and not to call her for any discount. However, I was soon "queried" for giving a "reasonable" discount to a particular customer. Hence another "order" was given not to give the discount without her consent. I did just the second way, which eventually I was labelled as a "disturber" and should do things with my discretion. I found out this cycle continued that way for sometime which afterwards I decided what margin of discount I give to customers and notwithstanding the amount of subsequent queries will not for ones change my decision. This only shows the unstable nature of female bosses.
ALWAYS DO WHAT IS RIGHT NO MATTER WHAT
Women naturally tend to be easily swayed by their emotions. most women live by emotions in contrast to most men who live by decision. So, by a momentary emotion, the female boss may want you to do what is not right to prove a point or show off. You on your own part must stand your ground and do what is right no matter what. This is because when the emotions have cooled off, you will be blamed for the wrongs you did out of their emotional orders. Funny? Yeah I'm used to being blamed for carrying out orders against the company rules. Stand your ground always!
DON'T BE EMOTIONAL
You cannot work with a female boss with emotions simply for the reason that the boss herself is one with emotion. You have to be decisive and stable in your decisions. In most time, what feel like leads to wrong decisions.
Do not get emotional when you are being blamed wrongly or when you are being praised or given gift. Do not allow the praises or blaming get into your head. Of course you may adjust some things, but let it not be by emotions. Do things because you want to do it and it is right not because you feel like doing so.
DON'T GIVE UP COMPROMISE YOUR AGREEMENTS
It is easier for a woman than a man to compromise. This is why men are generally referred to as 'Hard-hearted'. You must also keep to agreements and don't agree on what you cannot take in the first place. Resumption time is 8am? Resume by 8! Closing time by 6? Close by 6, not by 7. If you close later than required for once, you will be expected to do so some other times.
DON'T DO EYE-SERVICE
Eye-service is when you intentionally work harder or faster than 'normal' so that you can be commended by the watching boss. Bosses generally dislikes workers who do eye-service. This is because they are left with the impression that the worker is doing otherwise while not around - which is rightly so. Hence, be consistent with your work rate whether or not your boss is around.
EXERCISE PATIENCE
Female bosses may lose temper easily some times over minor things which makes them annoying. You should be patient and quiet when she is angry. Do not consider or think over whatever she says at that moment because she does not mean what is said. They are all born out of emotions. This is a life principle which can be applied to all women, female co-workers, wife, girlfriend, mother, sister and so on.
In same way, she may not mean what is said when you make her happy, hence resist to be moved. It is all out of emotions.
I believe if you are able to apply the principles highlighted in this article, your female boss is going to respect and trust you more. You will eventually win her heart over.
Thanks for reading through. have a nice time.
Sexual well-being of kids
Protecting the sexual well-being of kids is a very important task. The parent has a major role to play in the sexual health of the young growing child. There are few ways I would discuss in this article and I want you to be open about it.
Children aged below 15, though appear innocent, are at the stage of rapid brain development.
The parent should regulate the audiovisual, visual and audio contents these kids are exposed to. AudioVisual contents could be in form of television programs they watch, the videos they are exposed to on phones, certain sensitive games that could arouse the kids and so on. Visual contents include pictures, books, comics and so on whilst the audio contents include songs and music they listen to, what they hear from the outside. Whatever is heard or seen can influence and arouse children and control the way they think. The parents should make sure the children do not watch sensitive programs on TV's, phones and laptops. They should set up parental controls on the children's phones and laptops if they possess one. All of their books and comics should be that which is for kids. Exposing a kid to adult videos and pictures, either intentionally or not could kill the child.
As much as the internet access of the child is controlled, the child must not be killed from inside. The couple's room should not be close to the kid's, talkless of sleeping in same room. A lot of children have been victim of catching and hearing their parents having sex and it has badly affected those children. It is a serious form of sexual abuse. The small child should not have memories of the parents having sex in his or her head. This of course is the parent's responsibility and it should not be taken lightly.
Single parenting could affect the sexual growth of a child, especially if the single parent is of opposite sex to the child - a woman raising a boy or a man raising a girl child - could adversely affect the child's sexual development if care is not properly taken. Single parenting is however not a guarantee that a child will be spoilt, there are single parents whose children are emotionally and sexually balanced and there are children raised by both parents who are also well spoilt. Nevertheless, single parenting is a disadvantage in raising the child.
Mixed or unisex school?
Some kids are victims of sexual harassments because they attended a mixed school and have a negligent parent. The freedom level of kids in mixed schools must be well checked and the kids regularly observed.
On the other hand, attending a unisex school could encourage lesbianism and gay acts which few children are victim of. Apart from this, the child may grow up to suffer emotional and societal discomfort in relating with the opposite sex as he or she has only ever being relating with same sex. However, it is good step to eliminate sexual harassment from the opposite sex. Hence, the pros nullifies the cons.
The teacher-student relationship must be well checked and balanced. A male teacher should not be allowed into female hostels or toilets and also the female teacher should not be allowed into male hostels and toilets. This is especially important in boarding schools. The female and male hostels, if a mixed school, should be properly demarcated and separated, discouraging the students from having improper thoughts. Mingling must be well controlled, though not eliminated and every unusual behavior should not be ignored.
Now to my last point. The aspect of education has been especially ignored at homes. The parent do believe the child is too innocent to be told some things which is actually what the child needs. The female child, for example should be properly educated on what to avoid doing with opposite sex, what to do when a guy attempt to rape her, what kinds of clothes is proper to wear or not and the mother should lay a good example of that in her own dressing. These kids now develop faster than ever and needs to be taught as young as possible on the consequences of sexual acts. If they are well informed at home, they won't be easily deceived outside by pals or peer pressure. Hence, sex education should be encouraged at home and also in schools.
I hope you find this article useful in curbing the rate of underage sexual harassment and involvement. You can share your own thoughts in the comment section. Thanks for viewing!
Hustling in Lagos
Lagos remains the most economically important city in Nigeria, west Africa and the whole of Africa at large. It ranks number 19 in the most expensive cities to live in the world and second most expensive in Africa. It is the main economic market of the whole of Africa and there is barely a product that won't sell in Lagos. Citizens of nearby countries in west Africa travel to Lagos for business and marketing reasons.
It is a city full of job opportunities such that it is popularly said that if you are in Lagos and not working, then you are lazy.
Hawking, whether mobile or static is a very productive business in Lagos. There is barely a major street in Lagos where you won't find an hawker, hawking either snacks, or some other products. Pure water, bottle water and soft drinks are very common. You'll see men, even ladies running after vehicles to sell something, and they're being encouraged by their patronizers.
I can't but mention transport system in Lagos. Lots of men, boys and even ladies, yes, married women ride buses and cars in Lagos to earn. The money being generated into the government's purse through this is very huge, but we are not going there. We are talking of how the poor survives through transport systems. The high population of Lagos at every area of the city and the fact that people do not stay at a place makes transportation income also very high. This account for the constant traffic and busy roads in Lagos. Most bus drivers have a conductor who coordinates the bus, calls passenger into the bus and also collects money from passengers.
The aspect of food cannot be left out. A city without food would be an hungry one. The high population calls for higher food production, both raw and cooked food. The busy and time consuming nature of most jobs makes it difficult for people to cook at home, hence most people resort to eating at restaurants and from street food hawkers. Some people leave home by 6am in the morning and get back very late in the night due to great distance between their various homes and working places. I am a typical example of this. I leave home as early before 7am and get home by 8pm in the night. In most days, if not everyday, I eat breakfast and lunch at work and most times eat dinner at home. In this way, food sellers are heavily being patronised.
Time will not permit me to talk about other aspects of earnings of Lagos, such as dancers and MC's, various handworks (like electricians, mechanics, hairdressers, carpentry, trust me all these handworks and more are all major sources of income), phone businesses (as sales promoters, phone engineers, accessories,etc), caterers, graphics designers, cyber cafés and so on. Some people only work as work agents, they help people find jobs and collect a percentage of their salaries for a specific period of time. What about house agents? They earn cool cash. Some people just invests in building houses for rentages all in strategic locations in the city and they make their money through that.
The huge population of people, and the high population density of Lagos is the major factor in all money making business in Lagos. There would always be people to patronize you! However, the cost of living in Lagos is equivalently high. To make savings in Lagos, most people have at least two jobs, one to feed and survive and the other to make savings or for important projects. The cost of feeding, cost of house provisions, cost of transportation and cost of housing is high compared to other cities in the country. Hence, one has to be smart to make something out of his hustle in Lagos.
Affiliate marketing made simple
A lot of misconceptions have been flying around on what affiliate marketing is. I have decided to write this article to clear air on what it means and how you can earn well through it and through Expertnaire.
To start with, what does affiliate marketing means?
Affiliate marketing is an advertising model in which a company compensates third-party publishers to generate traffic or leads to the company’s products and services.
The third-party publishers are affiliates, and the commission fee incentivizes them to find ways to promote the company. In simple words, it means Company 'A' needs leads or product sales. Then they recruit marketers to help them get those leads or product sales and pay them a percentage for each lead or sale that they make.
There are three major types of affiliate marketing :
Cost per lead (CPL) - This is when an affiliate is paid based on each lead he is able to generate for a company. Lead(s) mean potential buyers.
Revenue share - This is a business model where the company shares the overall revenue with an affiliate based on the customers the affiliate referred to the company.
Cost per sale - This is the type of affiliate program run by sites like Amazon, Expertnaire, Clickbank ,etc. With cost per sale, affiliates are paid a certain amount of commission based on each product sale they generate. These can be digital or physical products. Digital products are products that can be delivered electronically - E.g. Software, online courses, ebooks, audios etc. Physical products are products that have to be shipped to the customer - E.g. phones, clothes, electronics, shoes etc.
The type of affiliate we will focus on is the cost per sale type for the sake of this article.
The amount of commission an affiliate gets per product sale is set by the merchant that owns the product.
So, let's say a merchant sells a bottle of perfume X for N20,000. The merchant can decide to pay affiliates 10% of each perfume sale. The affiliate helps the merchant by helping him get a sale & a customer & the merchant rewards the affiliate with a commission per product sale. What this means is - The affiliate doesn’t have to produce or import any product. They don't even have to deliver it to the customer. All they do is to refer a customer and get paid.
Now, how long has affiliate marketing being around online? Or is it something new?
Affiliate marketing as a way of business has been around for a long time. But according to Wikipedia, the concept of online affiliate marketing was conceived of, put into practice and patented by William J. Tobin, the founder of PC Flowers & Gifts in Nov 1994, almost four years after the origination of the World Wide Web. Amazon.com is one of the companies that adopted the concept of affiliate marketing earlier and it boosted their sales.
Now, what is expertnaire?
Expertnaire is an online digital marketplace where creators of digital products (books, tutorials, courses etc.) can get more sales for their products via the help of affiliates.
So, what this means is that on Expertnaire,there are creators (also known as vendors) - These are people who own digital products & are looking for sales. Then we have affiliates who are willing to help the vendors get sales and they (the affiliates) get a commission per sale.
The Expertnaire platform bridges the gap between these two parties. Expertnaire makes it easy for an affiliate to have access to various products from different merchants. The Expertnaire platform takes care of the sales tracking and reporting so that no party is cheated. Expertnaire also takes care of customer support, product delivery and other little issues that might come up. So, this is an overview of how it works.
A vendor (someone who owns a digital product) lists their product on Expertnaire. He provides the price for the product & how much commission he is willing to pay per sale. An affiliate (someone willing to make money by selling the products in exchange for the commission) looks through the affiliate platform & picks one or more products they want to promote. The affiliate then goes ahead to promote the product(s) using his affiliate link (a unique link that makes it easy for the Expertnaire system to track which affiliate made the sale). When the affiliate promotes the product, a potential buyer sees it, and then clicks on the affiliate link to check out the details of the product. If it is something the person is interested in, they go ahead to buy it. Once there is a purchase, both the vendor & affiliate gets notified via mail with their percentage for the sale. The Expertnaire system detects which affiliate referred the sale & the affiliate gets the specific commission for that product in their Expertnaire affiliate account. Expertnaire pays out whichever amount the affiliate has in their PAYOUT section on Fridays.
It is as simple as that.
Unlike many platforms, Expertnaire places a strong emphasis on high quality digital products. Before a vendor can list a product on Expertnaire, the product goes through some tough scrutiny to ensure that it is valuable for the buyer and to also ensure that it is promising for the affiliates who might want to promote it. Right now, there are over 60 high value digital products on the Expertnaire platform and the product owners (vendors) offer affiliates between 30 - 90% commission per product sale. Most actually offer 50%. This hefty commission per sale is why many who want to make money as an affiliate prefer to promote the products on Expertnaire.
In order to become an affiliate on Expertnaire & start promoting any of the products on the platform, a N10k yearly registration fee is required. All these is done on the Expertnaire.com website.
Thanks for reading through and I hope you gained a lot.
Public speaking
A lot of people find it difficult to express themselves in public. Some are shy, some are lacking in confidence whilst others don't how to speak in public. Starting from a tender age at beginner's school, to highschool and even in college or university, a lot of individuals fail to express themselves among mates, fails to answer questions in class and also find it difficult to lead an assembly.
Practical approach to public speaking involves three steps
Before you speak
When you speak
After you speak
Before you speak, gather all the information you can about the topic you want to speak on. You should be familiar with words relating to the topic of discussion. You can build your confidence in front of crowd by practicing in front of a mirror or someone you're comfortable to address. The aim is for you not to run out of words. Your appearance must be one befitting the occasion because your dressing and looks will create a permanent impression on your audience no matter what you speak or how you speak.
When you speak, speak wisdom and confidence. Maintain eye contact with your audience. Do not let the crowds get into you.
After you speak, ask yourself, should I set down? You don't need to regret over a mistake you made. You only need not repeat the same mistake next time out.
As evident, you have a lot to work on before you speak. Constant practice of these practical approach to speaking will boost your confidence before crowds.
The sin of monotony
Have you ever wondered how public speakers, though they have much to say can still sound boring, empty, dry and uninteresting.
Having what to say is not enough. If you're must drone on and on without a variation in your tone, at the same speed, at the same energy and with no difference in cues will bore out your audience.
When birds sing, they don't drone on and on like a robot. They offer different tone, high pitches, high squeaks, slow calls, and fast thrilling sounds.
If all creatures were to be the same, the world would have bored out. Variation drives interest and catches attention.
When your speech lacks variation, it is monotonous and lacks interest, creating a dull atmosphere.
You can avoid monotony simply by multiplying your tools in delivering speech.
Thanks as always for reading through and I hope you gain confidence in public speaking as you enjoy your day.
Why people do transgender?
Transgender is the term for **persons whose gender identity, gender expression or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth**.
In some parts of the world, transgender surgery is being encouraged. It is the medical operation which converts the physique and appearance from one gender to another, either from male to female or from female to male.
Why people do transgender :
Curiosity : Some people attempt doing transgender so as to see what life looks like in the other sex. They want to feel what the opposite sex feel and enjoy what they do.
To gain influence : some have ventured into this to gain influence and connections to particular influential people. Some also do this to make their name and so become famous.
For sport advantage : Yes, some do transgender just for the sake of sports. It has been reported that few men transgender into female to participate in female sports such as football, racing, boxing and so on. It gives them advantage over the natural female and makes them famous.
Lack of satisfaction: Some people feels frustrated in life and they believe it is because of their gender. They therefore just want to change their gender and start a new life. They believe this would turn around their frustration and make them happy.
This topic has been highly condemned by a lot of people in the society and the world at large as an act of desperation. However, those interested in it has always justified it as an expression of their freedom to do whatever they want with their life.
What is your own view about doing transgender? Should it be universally permitted? Or should it be banned?
Insomnia
Insomnia is a sleep disorder. It is an inability to sleep properly or to have enough sleep. It is not only about the duration of sleep but also about the quality of sleep you get.
Insomnia is thus defined according to encyclopedia
Insomnia is **trouble falling asleep, staying asleep through the night, or waking up too early in the morning**. Episodes of insomnia may come and go or be long-lasting. The quality of your sleep is as important as how much sleep you get.
It is proven to occur more in adults above fifty years old than in younger ones.
Kids generally do sleep a lot not minding how the surface is. A child may sleep on a chair, lying on a table or even easily in cars. There are adults who sleep easily too, though it is not as common as found among kids.
Causes of insomnia
Stress : Insomnia is usually caused by too much stress during the day's activity. This kind is usually short lived as your normal sleeping routine would be restored once you are relieved of the stress. However, constant stress may lead to continuous insomnia.
Sleeping habit : A poor sleeping habit and an irregular sleeping schedule is a usually cause of insomnia. Your sleeping position,bed condition and sleeping space must all suite you well. Also, be constant on the numbers of hours you use in sleeping. 6-8 hours sleep per day remains an healthy range of healthy sleeping hours.
Mental health disorders : Anxiety and depression is one of the main causes of insomnia. You can easily lose sleep for days or even weeks if you are worried on some serious matters. You should resolve anything causing worry and depression. In serious cases of depressions, the patient should visit a therapist.
Illness and physical pain : Some illness and pain takes sleep off eyes for days or makes it impossible to have a sound sleep. Examples of such illness include whooping of cough, fever, physical wounds sustained, stomach pain, ulcer, hypertension , or any severe pain. In these cases, the right medication to cure the illness should be sought as this will likely eradicate the insomnia.
Medications : Some medications causes insomnia. Such medications works by affecting the sleep of the patient to not sleep properly, having numerous nightmare.
Lack of exercise : working the muscles will naturally help in inducing a sound sleep. Lack of these could lead to insomnia and exercising could stop it. Sitting at one position, too long driving are possible causes.
Neurological disorders
Being unable to settle the mind also causes insomnia. When the mind and brain is busy thinking, it'll be difficult to find sleep. Sleep brings rest especially to the mind and brain and generally to the body. Don't think about the next day, why you're not yet getting the sleep and do not try too hard to get the sleep. Sleep is designed to come with ease, not with force.
There are three types of insomnia
Transient (more than one week)
Acute (short term)
Chronic (long term)
It is believed that insomnia if chronic cannot be cured, however it can be perfectly controlled and managed in cases of transient and acute ones.
Insomnia can be controlled and managed in the following ways
Stick to your sleep schedule
Do exercise often
Avoid taking alcohol, caffeine and nicotine
Avoid temptation to use sleeping pills unless prescribed by a doctor. It could lead you deeper into insomnia and you may get addicted to using pills before you can get sleep which is very unhealthy.
Avoid or limit naps
Stay active all day
Avoid taking large meals and beverages before going to bed
Make the bed comfortable for you.
Avoid trying too hard to sleep. The more you try, the harder it is.
Avoid staying on bed when unable to sleep. You can leave at the moment and come back when sleepy
Check your medications
Visit a doctor if the insomnia continues for a long time.
Avoid unnecessary and loud noise around your House or room.
I hope you find this article useful for yourself or for someone who has problem sleeping.
Child punishment
Should a child be scolded? Does the parent of a child have the full right to beat a child? Does the elder brother or sister have the right to beat younger one because of a bad display of behavior? Does the teacher in school have the right to punish and beat children?
This is what we will be taking a look at.
I grew up in Nigeria, in Yoruba land to be precise and I am very used to seeing children being woefully beaten by parents. I have in a lot of occasion seen elder brother or sister beating a younger one. I have seen particular teachers striking fear in students and in fact some certain teachers can not do without holding a cane. Is it supposed to be this way? Should a child not be beaten at all? Or should a rude and disobedient child be reported to the police for proper discipline 😂?
In my own view, parents should be allowed to scold and punish the child when something wrong is done. The severeness of the punishment should be based on the gravity of the offense. The child should not be beaten for a minor offense. The parent is expected to decide wisely which offense is punishable or not.
We can agree that the way of punishing a male child should be different from that of a female child, especially girls in puberty stage. A man once carelessly and blindly beat his 15 year old daughter and as a result caused an injury to the girl on her breast which eventually landed the girl in the hospital causing the father to spend cash on her treatment.
Also, children should not be beaten or punished at every punishable offense. The parent should often talk to the child based on mother or father to child relationship and try have a conversation. The idea of always beating a child could cause the child to be very stubborn and used to being beaten. The child should be made to see the flaws in the attitude and behaviors being corrected on.
You can sometimes correct based on the mood of a child. Overlooking an offense and bringing it up for correction when the child is happy also works well. You can just overlook an offense at a time, get your child in an happy moment and then remind him or her of what he or she has done. At this moment, the child is ready to listen and more likely to change the wrong attitude because of the present good moment. In fact, the child will feel loved and happy to have you as parent. This method however, should not be used always.
The two parents should be in agreement when correcting the child. It is very bad for the husband to raise up a hand of correction, only for the wife to raise it down or for the husband to get mad at his wife for punishing the child for a wrong done. Sometimes, either of the parent may feel the child is being wrongly punished or over-punished for the offense. This should be communicated wisely and as soon as possible to the other partner without the knowledge of the child. Raising protest on a child's punishment in the presence of the child will give the child more encouragement to do what is wrong. It's even worse that some parents fight and insult each other on this matter of child punishment. It happens when one of the parents is either too strict or too loose and pampering.
As much as I support a child being punished by parents, I hate every form of child abuse, especially a violent abuse on a child. The parent and everyone else should shoulder the responsibility of eliminating violence and abuse in the society and this project starts at home with their sons and daughters. Do not beat angrily, but rather with love that the child might change. Beating a child in anger could lead to serious regrettable and avoidable injury. This must be taken note of.
Check out for my next posts on the part of siblings and teachers in child punishment.
Please do not forget to hit the like button and comment your view on this topic.
Thanks for reading.
What kind(s) of lover are you?
There is a word that leaves people off their seat. A single word exists that humbles men and can destabilize a whole woman. A word which if not properly understood and defined will cause youths to stumble. This word is Love.
It is wonderful to know that love has been given a lot of meaning depending on the kind of discussion going on or the context of a passage.
The different kinds of love identified in the world today are
Eros - which is an erotic, romantic and passionate love. This usually exists between couples
Philia - Which is a friendly love. This exists among friends, mates and pals.
Storge - Which is parental love. This exists between the parent and child.
Agape - which is love of mankind. This exists generally amongst humanity.
I personally would categorize these kinds of love as natural and unnatural.
The kinds of love which should come naturally are the agape and storge love.
As soon as a baby breathes its first, the baby should have a feeling for humanity. Love for humanity should know no bounds, it should not depend on race, history or on religion. It should be natural for a man to do good to others and not harm or enslave his fellow man. This is agape love and should be natural.
Also, no one should teach a parent to love his or her own child. This is evident and common. Parents love their children. However, there are parents who have bitterness towards their children due to the condition at which they give birth. A mother may have bitterness towards her own child if the pregnancy is as a result of rape, if she endured too much pain during delivery or if it is an unwanted pregnancy which could potentially ruin the mother's career. However, all these reasons are not the innocent baby's fault and the baby retains the right to be loved and properly cared for by the parent if responsible. This is storge love and should be natural.
The unnatural kinds of love which can be grown are Eros and Philia kind of love.
Friends are meant to have love for one another if good friends. This love is not natural, but rather developed and grown. It grows based on experience, faithfulness to friendship and longevity. It is void of every iota of selfishness and jealousy. As time goes on, the level of trusts increases and you can trust mate or mates to love them more in this realm. In most cases if towards opposite sex, this kind of love develops into Eros kind of love.
Talking about Eros, love at first sight could exist, but it takes true love decision to grow the love at first sight. Love at first sight is usually based on infatuation due to the physical attributes seen at the first sight. It grows unto true love if the personality, that is behavioural attributes discovered compliments the good physical attributes admired. This love could be the one of the deepest kind of love because it requires the agape love for humanity and the Philia love for friendship to develop unto this kind of love.
Now tell me, what kind of a lover(s) are you?
Overcoming addictions
A lot of individuals are struggling under the grasp of addictions. They are attached to what they are ashamed of and will never want to admit. An addiction is like an invincible master, controlling the affairs of a man's mind and dictating to him what he should do. A man, upon refusal to the voice of his addiction will not feel okay until he obeys. Addiction has ruined a lot of dreams and limited a lot of career. It always reduces the productivity of its subject.
According to wikipedia, addiction is thus defined
Addiction is the compulsive use of a substance or performance of a behavior that is independent of withdrawal.
From this definition, it can be deduced that addiction can be attached to two things
To a substance
To a behaviour
However, these two forms of addictions are closely related. A person may be addicted to a substance which affects his behaviors.
The effects of addictions can be hidden or obvious.
Effects which do not affect the appearance of a person could be categorized as hidden. For example, through data analysis, it is concluded that about 60% of males aged 25 or below are addicted to adult videos and/or masturbation. However, you can't easily tell if by a man's appearance if he's addicted to such things or not, but these folks knows how badly they are being affected in terms of productivity and social life.
Addictions like these may not create a wrong impression on people based on appearances. Only those very close to them will know of these. These kinds of addictions, though secret, are the most dangerous ones. This is because they do not find it easy to share the problem with someone else.
Another good example is addiction to betting. Betting is a game of luck which one must not be addicted to. Those who bet frequently are known to have constant shift in emotions. Those around them often suffer from the wrong moods when the lost the game.
One may be addicted to pressing phones, chatting unnecessarily or even playing games. These addictions are time wasters and they only reduce productivity and efficiency.
The second category is that which has obvious effects. These kind of addictions affect the type of people who move around them.
For example, addiction to alcoholic drink and to smoking will definitely affect the kind of friend that we live closely with such person. It is not because the person is bad or wicked but it is not just acceptable to sunset of people. A friend may be afraid of developing such habit due to closeness. This addictions are also very dangerous as it can affect the health and well being of a man. It is one which makes a man lose his mind if used abusively. It will eventually lead to wild and wasteful spending affecting the finance of the person in question. Without doubt, these addictions reduces productivity, sanity and efficiency and work or career. Relationships may break down as a result if not cautioned.
Overcoming an addiction is not an easy task. First of all, the addicted person must accept that he is addicted. This is the first step to freedom from any sort or kind of addiction.
Then, the person must handle it positively. The time used in doing those addictions must now be channeled towards other productive things. These involves focusing on productive positive things like making new friends, getting close to families, developing passion for productive things, avoiding being alone and always busy depending on the kind of addiction.
It will of course involve changing friends if the friends encourages the addiction. One must walk with friends that do not encourage those habits.
Most importantly, one must be consistent with his decision. It requires lots of self control and discipline. You must get tired of them to get them tired of you.
Local football
I grew up playing football on the streets of Lagos. At first, you have to watch others play, then you get the chance to replace someone who was either injured, tired or called by his parent. Soon you gradually gain ground with other players based on your performance.
We don't need boots to play then. We play bare footed with goal posts we do call "monkey post". Usually, we use two big stones or tyres to make the goal posts. We use legs to measure it then. We can use 3-4 feets if we are playing with a last defender and up to 6feets if playing with a goal keeper. Who needs a referree? We don't make use of referees or line man unlike the standard footballers does. We often leave ourselves to the conscience and based on what happens on the field. We don't play with the standard leader ball. We do use plastic ball at first, then we evolved to using rubber balls which we know as " wembly" balls and then we use "earth ball". It is like spaces are specially created for us to play then. It is either someone's big backyard or in front of an uncompleted building or a primary school playing ground and other special places we do use as our field for football. If close to a house or car, we do play carefully so as not to break the car's windscreen or a glass window.
Generally then, we prefer to play football than to eat. We can play from morning till evening and usually our parents beat us for playing football especially during academic period. We do however have more freedom to play during holidays.
The girls and small children usually gather round to hail and support loved ones. There are certain rules guiding the street football. Whoever owns the ball must play. There are usually two captains who sometimes would volunteer to play as goal keepers or last defender. Two factors usually decides the number of players on each team
1) the size of the field and
2) the number of players available
Let me explain this. If the usual number of players that should play on a field is 4 players, and only 6 players are available to play, they would compromise and play with three on each team. Usually, they'll add one more once others are around to play to balance the size of the field with the number of players.
The possibility of playing in sets makes it fun. If there are more than enough players, we usually end of choosing sets. A goal is usually enough to defeat the opponent which will leave for another set to come in. It was all fun and filled with passion because you will not want your team out of the field easily.
Competitions do come our way sometimes. It could be inter street competition. We often play such as home and away. Home means we play at our own usual street field and away is when we go to our opponent's usual field to play. It is fun filled as we want to hold the bragging right against our neighbour.
The tension grows bigger when betting was introduced into our game. Personally, I do not like betting in the game as it makes the game more dangerous. Number of injuries sustained during matches increases because of betting and we begin to play with the mind of winning at all cost. However, it brings out the best in some and makes the forward players to be more ruthless at scoring goals and converting chances.
Most adults today who grew in an African environment will most likely have a story to tell of their local football experience. It was big fun in those days.
Modern wedding
Every youth has the dream to wed fabulously one day. Ladies in particular have a particular dream wedding. If you ask an average Lady how she wants her future wedding to be. She will tell you she wants at least certain number of attendants, the ceremony should be held in London or Dubai. Believe it or not, everyone has its own fantasy that most likely will not come true. What about the fantasy in terms of dream husband and wife? Most youth has this high taste when it comes to that.
Some wants a wedding with thousands of attendants. Some, if not most guys are not concerned on the number of people who attend their wedding. Does it really matter the amount of people attending a wedding ceremony? I mean, there are people who are obligated to be there, such as the religious leader, the parent of both couples, the close relatives and few friends. However, youth of this generation are not that interested in those ones. They take special interest in making sure their ex girlfriends and ex boyfriends attend the wedding, to see what they have been missing. They try to make the girl they chase but never had jealous. It would be good if it ends there. The guys usually invites fellow guys who once fought on the supposed bride so the guys can feel jealous and pained on what they are missing. Girls usually take this more personal. They take pleasure in inviting girls who had at one time or the other wanted to have their supposed groom. The aim is of nothing else than to feel on top of the the world.
The race now begins to balance space with the amount of people invited. While sending numerous invitations, they usually forget about their budget. If the budget at hand could only afford a 1,000 capacity Hall, and out of arrogance, they've invited 2,000 individuals excluding themselves. They then begin to find a way to borrow money to make ends meet. They begin to ask for help to balance the books. Here, the wedding cloth, popularly known as aso ebi comes in. A wedding cloth supposed to be sold for five thousand naira is multiplied and sold for twenty thousand naira. Mind you, you must buy the cloth at any amount it is called or you'll be taken as enemy of their wedding. In fact, you must pay the money weeks or months before getting yours.
What about the catering department? As known and expected, everyone must be served. Do not forget, the more the amount of people invited, the more the quantity of food must be. And the food must be in best possible quality, because plenty people has been invited out of arrogance, so they must be well served with quality food to leave a high taste impression on them. The excess money gotten from wedding cloth had been used for the purchase of the Hall. Now, they often turn to cooperatives for this. If either or both has a good standard job, they take loan from their respective working place. All these effects will only be felt after the wedding ceremony.
What about the wedding gown? Ladies do want a very high class wedding gown. One which is ordered from abroad. A wedding gown that will flow from the alter to the front door and sweep away all dirt on the road. The wedding suit also must be top notch. It must be one ordered from abroad and eye catching. This aspect is very important as it is what they show off to their ex boyfriends and girlfriends invited to see how fulfilled they have been.
Here comes the crux of it all : The honeymoon. Even before marriage proposals, most ladies already have in mind where they want to do their honeymoon. However, some do settle for less on this, given the fact that a lot had been already spent on the wedding ceremony. Nevertheless, the very rich ones fulfill their fantasies traveling to special places for the once in lifetime event. You see people do wedding in Nigeria traveling to Paris in France for honeymoon. People who do wedding in Asia traveling to Dubai for honeymoon and so on.
Here is my conclusion, everyone should cut his coat according to his own size. Before making plans, before inviting numerous unnecessary spectators, check your budgets first. There have been report of people starving after fabulous Mouth watering wedding. Some couples even fight on debt payment after the wedding. This is as a result of planning out of budget. If you should borrow, borrow what you can pay conveniently with ease. At the end, what matters is the marriage. Wedding is must a ceremony for a day, while marriage starts after wedding. Marriage is lifetime! Invest more on life in marriage than on wedding. Give your kids quality health and educational life. That is how it should be!.
An afternoon of decisions : Based on true life story
David was working with a phone company in Lagos, Nigeria. He had to leave work for some certain reasons at abuja which lasted for about six months. After his journey, he called his former boss to ask to return to his working place. Surprisingly, the boss told her that she will call him when needed.
So David lived each day with the mind that be can be called to work at any moment. He could not really plan his day as he wanted as just a phone call could twart all his plans. He lived at the moment of each second. Three days went by without receiving the call. He started to wonder whether is line was working. He had people around him call his line to confirm - the line was working. He asked colleagues from work, who are close to the boss to dial his line - the line was working. It was like waiting for rapture. One thing is sure in those days, David would wake up early in the morning, take his bath and dress up, only to sit down on the sofa and await the Golden call from his boss.
On the fourth day, he dressed up as usual and sat down waiting for his phone to ring. On that morning, the house maid - a woman with a kid -was feeling sick and was rushed to the hospital, leaving the small boy with David to take care of. As they were leaving, David was thinking within, what if my boss calls me? David slept, the boy slept. It was around 12pm when the phone began to ring. David was alarmed and quickly checked it, it was the boss! He quickly picked the call and the voice echoed without pity "find your way to the office now". At about that time, cloud begins to form on the sky and within seconds, rain began to fall. David now has two problems, the young boy left with him and the rain falling heavily.
David begin to rack his head. He called his mum and ask for solution on the baby. He was told to hand him over to the estate security men. One problem out, remains the other. Before we knew it, David had shamelessly entered the rain with a yellow rain coat. He took the boy with him, handed the boy over to the security men and got on his way to office.
It was a cold afternoon for David. That was how he got re employed to his office.
Thanks very much for reading. This is based on true life story that happened to me recently. I hope you enjoy it. Please don't forget to like and comment on this.
Gratitude : God's time is the best.
We humans are so blinded by what we want that we fail to we what we already have and be grateful for it.
A young man on bike once said "how I wish to be the owner of this beautiful car". Not quite long, A man trekking along said, " how I wish to have a bike to ride on". Just beside this man was a lame Begger saying to himself , "how I wish I could just walk". What do you think the dead would say, of course to be alive.
We cannot get enough of possessions in this life. We will always want something. Human needs they say, is insatiable! We should not put too much pressure on ourselves to get what we do not have yet. Let us for once count the good things we have in our possession. The nice and wonderful people around you. The privileges others are begging for, but which you freely have. The good life you live, although not good enough in you sight, which thousands of people crave to live. Life is very short to be ungrateful.
The way we answer people's annoying questions concerning our challenges should show gratitude. Yes, you might be asked, " why aren't you married yet? Your mates are all married with kids!". You might be asked, "why aren't you in higher institution yet? Your mates are already graduating!". You might be married and even be asked, " why aren't you gotten kids yet? You are getting old! ". Simply reply that "God's time is the best, Lots of your mates are also dead, some are in prison and can't live a free life. Some are blind, mad, deaf and so on. I am grateful for what God has done for me and I know all good things will come with ease at the right time". This is a wonderful response which will disappoint the mockers that want you to feel sad and bad.
I once had a lot of challenge in gaining admission into the university. I became the talk of everyone in my environment. Kids that I tutored while in high school are already getting there while I kept pushing. My mates were already graduating and making sense with their life. I could barely walk on the street without being asked some embarrassing questions. So one day, I decided to shun my questionnaires, those who ask as if they really care, but in truth are mockers. I told them to face their lives, God's time is the best for, and indeed it is. I am now in the university and God is proving that his time is the best! There is no age set for certain achievement. Do not let any one or any challenge to take gratitude off you.
Single parenting
Single parenting could turn out to be the most stressful work to do. It causes a lot of cases of emotional imbalance.
It could be caused by an unfortunate untimely death to either parent. In this case, the child barely knows the deceased parent and it causes a sad memory to the child at all time.
It could also be caused by negligence of either parent at a youthful age, usually the male parent. There are lots of cases where the boy impregnates the girl and denies the pregnancy or runs away.
It could be due to a broken home, when the parent are divorced. One parent usually takes up the responsibility of bringing up the children, and in some cases, the children are divided into two in numbers for each one to share the responsibility. This also causes lots of emotional trauma to the growing children.
There are four cases usually found.
A male child brought up by a single female parent.
A male child brought up by a single male parent.
A female child brought up by a single female parent.
A female child brought up by a single male parent.
Either of the stated cases are not something to boast about. However, good responsible children are still being brought up in this condition, kudos to the single parent. So also, some ill mannered children are also brought up in the same conditions depending mainly on the parent. It all boils down to the parent and who the parent allows the children associate with.
In some cases, the female children brought up the female parent might not know how well to interact with men and boys generally. Also, a male child brought up by a male parent may not know how to respect and treat ladies. This are critical issues that are often seen in the society.
As much as motherhood is very important in the upbringing of a child, I personally think a male child should be brought up by a female parent and a female child brought up by the female parent. This will create some kind of balance in protecting the child and showing them how the opposite sex should be treated, respected and related with.
Thanks for your time reading this. I hope you gained something. Don't forget to like and comment to my post and subscribe to my page. Thanks very much.
Parenting in an African home part IV (4)
We emphasized on my last post about the role of religious institutions on the parenting of a child. We will today discuss how the personality of the child himself affects his upbringing.
The attitude and personality of a child needs to be taken into account in parenting. As there are different kinds of parents, different kinds of influence from society and religious organizations, there are also different kinds of children personality. The personality of a child determines the way the parent and society at large should handle the child.
Some children are stiffnecked and very stubborn and such needs to be treated with iron hands. It is interesting to note that a wise and reasonable parent cannot treat all the children as if they are all in this category. Through parental wisdom and experience, which is usual lacking in young parents, the parent would be able to determine what kind of child one has. The language stubborn children understand is that of cane and strict voice. It is wrong to pamper a stubborn boy or a stiff necked girl. This kind of treatment needs to be taken up as early as possible before the kid grows deep into a very bad habit. However, the parent should not also fall into the category of extremely strict parent, He or she should also speak gently to the child to let him or her know her fault and why being beaten.
The second category are the gentle, howbeit clever child. This kind of child is not as expressive as the infamous stubborn one. The child is clever about doing naughty things and still maintaining a good name in the society. The parent must not be deceived by this outward innocence. They should make sure to correct such a child when wrong without holding back. The parent should not so much praise the child for the good characters expressed, but they should approve of it. In essense, they should not make the child feel he is better than others. Also, the parent should have tactical and reasonable discussions with the child to really know the deep things in his or her heart, and the female parent should not be shy to discuss certain sensitive issues with the girl child.
As clear as it is, the personality of a child determines what kind of side the parent shows. There are lots of personalities, but for sake of grouping, they are grouped into two groups already explained.
So from this series, we've been able to note that the work of parenting is not only that of the biological parent, but also of the society, religious backgrounds, schools, peer groups and the personality of the child itself. All these people must work together to produce a responsible and well cultured adult from the little ones.
This brings an end to this particular series.
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One love.
Parenting in an African home part III (3)
In my last post, I made it clear how the environment influences the upbringing of growing children. We will today observe how the religious and learning institutions contribute to parenting.
First and foremost, religious gatherings are meant for good and sound spiritual and moral upbringing. However, the kind of friends made in the churches or mosques can completely affect the development of the growing child. The religious gathering comprises of both good and bad individuals. The good ones are there so that they can continue to being good while the bad ones are there to become changed. Sometimes little children tend to mimic the wrong attitude of an Elder or older friend. In this way the character and personality of the growing child is molded either positively or negatively depending on the role model.
The influence of friends in schools is even more obvious. This is because one can easily be intimidated by peer group pressure. A popular adage says "show me your friend and I will show you who you are". This means that children tend to adjust or adapt to the to the good or bad attitude of their friends.
I will be stopping here today please don't forget to like and comment on my post. Thanks very much for Reading.
Parenting in an African Home Part II(2)
Yesterday, we discussed the role of the parent in parenting in an African home. We highlight three kinds of parents ; The extremely strict parent, the extremely soft parent and the wise moderate parent. You can go back to read my previous post if you missed it.
Now, the responsibility of morally bringing up a child is not only that of the parent, but also of the society, school , religious organization, peer groups and the child's decisions itself.
The society in which one lives in is very important in the upbringing of a child. By society, I mean that particular area where the child is brought up. The child tend to develop and mimic habits from people in the environments, the friends their parents keep, the people the parent allows the child to mingle with and of course the things the child is made to see and hear.
The society can either make or break a child. Children with bad habits at tender age are advised to be given a change of environment. More often than not, the environment influences the way an individual thinks and behaves. The society shapes the mind of the individual either in a good or bad way. We can easily tell what kind of society one comes from by his or her words, way of thinking, habits and so on.
Here are two examples, a badly trained child at home can be influenced by the "good" society to become a good child during development. Also, a well trained child may be negatively influenced by the society also during development. You must note that the society only has its influence while the child is still growing to become an adult. A female child for example whose parent approves of half naked dressing may be disapproved and rejected by the society. This will make the child feel bad and dejected and will want to improve on her way of dressing. Also, when a girl who dresses rightly is being utterly disapproved by the society, she will tend to adjust to the system of the society and try to "fit in".
We can clearly see in today's post how the society makes or break a growing child. This is another important factor to consider in parenting of a child. We will talk on other factors involved in tomorrow's post. Thanks very much for viewing.
Parenting in an African Home.
Parenting in an African home can be very challenging. Sometimes, I wonder if the duty of patenting is only for the parents, and not also of the society, school, church or mosque and the environment at large. The child must be home-trained, school-trained, religiously trained as well as being trained in the society. More often than not, the fault of a mannerless and uncultured child is centered on the parent, especially on the mother.
Of course, we cannot overlook the importance of home training in the development of a child. A well-trained parent will bring up a well-trained child. The parent cannot offer what he or she does not have. As such, we have several kinds of parents. Some are pampering in nature, probably because they were pampered when they were little. Others are extremely strict, maybe because of the abuse they suffered when they were young. The problem is being at one extreme end. As a popular Yoruba adage says and I quote in English "if you use one hand to beat a child, use the other to draw the child closer". A good parent must be able to balance strictness and softness on the child.
An extremely strict parent will only build fear in the child's mind. The kind of parent that the child sees and trembles. The parent whose presence drains every drop of confidence from the little boy and brings out stammering from the tongue of the little girl. Yes, the child will be good at home but very bad outside. Most children will only behave accordingly well only when around such parent, and immediately they are free, they loose-guard and behave freely as they want. Frequently, such children join various bad groups when exposed to university life. They feel free to do the bad they had wanted to do while around their strict parent. Obviously, extremely strict parenting does more harm than good.
The extremely soft parent, the pamper master and the giveaway parent are also common in the African communities. These ones give their children everything they want. The child does not even know what a cane looks like. These ones fights anyone who dares beat their children, whether an elder in the society or the teacher in school. Their everyday goal is to make the child happy and satisfied. The child has rarely felt dissatisfaction because he always has what he wants. A child brought up this way always ends up being either a thief who steals whatever he cannot have or one who spends prodigally or very disrespectful to everyone. They feel they should be treated everywhere the way they are being treated at home by their parents. This kind of parenting is condemned and not acceptable and the outcome is always a spoilt child.
The third kind of parenting we would talk on is moderate parents. One who is averagely strict and averagely soft. One who balances the two extremes of parenting. By parental wisdom, they know when to beat the child and when not to. They know when to give the child what he wants and when not to. The child can freely communicate his fears, views and thoughts to the parent. The girl-child can then be comfortable to discuss certain sensitive issues with the mother. This kind of child is not spoilt and at same time not abused. The child evolves to the kind the parents and the society can be proud of and call responsible.
Too strict parenting raises an abused child while too soft parenting raises a spoilt child, but a balanced parent raises a responsible child.
As this is not alone the factor affecting parenting, I will in my next article talk about how other factors such as society , environment, religious organizations, schools and even the child itself affect the outcome of parenting.
Thanks very much for reading.
@Oluwadavid
