@OldBastard 9 February 2022 more from that month

Answers, Part 1 Recently I added a post which consisted of several thought provoking, (or gag inducing, depending on your viewpoint), questions. While it would be incredibly self-indulgent and self-infatuated of me to then create a post answering my own questions, that is what I am going to do now. The internet and social media sites have given old windbags such as myself an almost unlimited soapbox to shout our nonsense all across the world. Ain't Noise.cash wonderful! As you can see, this is just Part 1 of my answers. Besides being pompous, I am also verbose, so my answers will span more than one post. (The horror! The horror!!) I am reprinting the questions here, but if you have a burning need to see them in their original form, you can scoot on over to that post here: https://noise.cash/post/1vq74k46 . 1. Do agnostic, dyslexic, insomniacs lay awake at night, wondering if there really is a dog? As a former agnostic myself, (I'm more of a Deist now), I can relate to the existential angst that some of us feel from time to time relating to our place in a seemingly uncaring universe. But I have found a cure, albeit a temporary one, to feelings of being lost in "the void". I simply think about sex. And with almost universal access to the internet now, yummy pornography is available to anyone who wants/needs it, 24/7, 365 days a year. I find that once I am good and horny, worries about silly things such as humanity's place in the universe, current moral dilemmas, or my own brief existence, fade away beneath the irresistible urge to "get off". Salvation via orgasm! While this may not work for everyone, (many females, asexual folks, anyone with an emotional maturity greater than 15 years old), it worked great for me for many years, although with advancing age I find myself less inclined/able to indulge in it. So next time you find yourself stuck in one of those "dark nights of the soul", try this technique, and see if it works for you too. You can thank me later! 2. Did Western Civilization begin its great decline once women were given the right to vote? I had the beginnings of an answer to this question forming in my head, but I was preempted by several folks who correctly pointed out that correlation does not necessitate causation. In other words, just because everything started going to hell once the ladies began voting, that does not prove that the female vote ruined everything. Well phooey on that, I say! Ignoring this minor complaint, along with the existence of two catastrophic world wars, I contend that women's votes have irreparably harmed Western Civilization because of women's tendency to vote for socialism and other progressive causes much more so than men. I guess there are still folks who would argue against this, but I believe it has been proven beyond a doubt that social welfare programs over the long run inevitably weaken the society in which they are implemented. One such person who did in fact argue against this was my late, great friend Ms. E, who despite being one of the smartest and kindest people I ever met, was a die hard socialist and progressive. When I would demonstrate to her how harmful social programs were, she would simply respond, "Okay then, OB, what are you going to do for the people who are depending on them?" Hmm ...... She is still waiting for my answer. Maybe one day, should by chance I fortunately discover myself in that wonderful place where Ms. E is no doubt currently residing, we can continue our discussion. 3. Are all blondes with two functioning brain cells actually pregnant? This is clearly a bogus question. As a former blonde myself, before my hair lost all its color and turned white, I can not believe that ANY blonde could ever have two functioning brain cells, let alone even one! What nonsense will you have us believe next, the existence of an honest politician? 4. Is the majority of artistic/intellectual creation and content the product of homosexual men? Like it or not, the swishy boys amongst us are clearly behind much of the world's art, for better or for worse. (If you disagree, do you own research and prove me wrong.) But what about intellectual creations? What about progress in math and science? It's clear that Alan Turing, ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Turing ), was gay, yet as Wikipedia states, "Turing was highly influential in the development of theoretical computer science, providing a formalization of the concepts of algorithm and computation with the Turing machine, which can be considered a model of a general-purpose computer. Turing is widely considered to be the father of theoretical computer science and artificial intelligence." Heck, he's even got his own page on the CIA's website: https://www.cia.gov/stories/story/the-enigma-of-alan-turing/ . But what about Isaac Newton, arguably the greatest theoretical scientist of all time? Was Sir Isaac gay? It's hard to know because he lived in a different time, when LGBTQ wasn't a militant stance against "straight" society. He may have been a repressed homosexual, or he may have just been an asexual, neurotic wacko, (my opinion). Either way, he wasn't able or willing to establish and maintain a heterosexual relationship. People with great minds are different from the rest of us normal folk, and they may behave in ways that we find odd, or queer. I guess this is what Plato was referring to in his Allegory of the Cave, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegory_of_the_cave . 5. Should I inform my friend, who is extremely lacking in self-confidence, that the song he wrote about tortillas is actually more of a rap. This was supposed to be a joke, playing on the word (w)rap. A tortilla is used to wrap around food! But then I added that phrase about him lacking self-confidence, and the whole thing fell apart. I should have left well enough alone. Sorry! 6. Are all males controlled by their testicles? Yes. 7. If an omnipotent God exists who is good, then why does evil exist? I'm sorry, but this question is way, WAY beyond my pay grade. I've tried through the years to come up with solutions, (evil is simply the absence of good, etc.), but at the end of the day I'm still back at square one, wondering how a God who is good would create/allow evil. I haven't a clue. 8. Is there really such a thing as "good" or "evil"? I think so. "Good" is simply behaving in a way that furthers the purpose for which the universe was created, while "evil" is behaving in any way that is at odds with "good". Another way to state this would be that evil is the absence of good. While I'm fairly certain that "good" exists, I vacillate between thinking that "evil" is, like I stated above, simply the absence of good, or that evil exists in its own right. (Does Hell exist, or is it simply the absence of Heaven?) This is a complicated subject, and unfortunately ties in to #7 above, which I have no answer for. So yes, "good" exists, although I can't adequately explain why. As for "evil", who knows? 9. Is it really true that the only reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the naughty girls live? Probably. If you were a guy with a "large sack", wouldn't you enjoy visiting naughty girls from time to time? (Heck, even a guy like me with a .... er, um, non-large sack, enjoys a good time with bad girls.) Naughty girls are lots of fun SHORT TERM. Fortunately for Santa, he has a good time "ho ho hoeing" with the not-so-nice lovelies, then once his jingle bells won't ring anymore all he has to do is hop in his sleigh, and his reindeer whisk him off to the North Pole, far away from any complications his frolics may have caused. (Yeah, he still has to face Mrs. Claus. Not sure how he deals with that.) This is more than enough now for one post. Should I write another post answering some of the remaining questions, I will link to it here. *** Well, no one stopped me, so I went and created an "Answers, Part 2" post: https://noise.cash/post/1xg5674z . Read it at your own risk. ***