Knowledge calls for concentration
KNOWLEDGE CALLS FOR CONCENTRATION
Setting goals daily, weekly, monthly or yearly and getting them done, is never easy.
To live life from day to day can be very easy to deal with, with no skill and less effort. But to live life purposefully each day is never easy, it requires full concentration, strong aim, and determination.
Do you wonder why you find it difficult to live purposefully? It's mainly because you see it as one difficult task. Most times you would rather prefer your everyday normal life than doing what is right and what you aren't used to because you feel it's much easier to deal with.
You seem to have forgotten that, everything in life is a process. You learn things gradually, you become used to them as time goes on, and with time they gradually become a part of you.
Even a growing child doesn't just start walking in a day, they begin with crawling, standing, falling, and taking risky steps.
"Knowledge calls for concentration."
It's your knowledge about little children that call your attention to focus on them. Because there is honestly no way you will find a child of around six to eight months, standing up on his or her feet for the first time without focusing on that child to see if he/she would fall. Why? Because you know the outcome of making such an attempt for the first time.
That's the essence of knowledge calling for your attention to concentrate.
You don't succeed by just reading books and dumping them afterwards. No! You must act on them and as well refresh your brain with new and fresh knowledge.
Every new knowledge birth ideas, it calls for action, and every action calls for concentration.
"Success comes from concentration."
No one climbs a ladder without the aim of going up. Everything in life has a reason behind it, so there must be a reason for you to pick up a book to read.
Your reasons are what help in positioning you for what you want as an output from your input.
Any work without full concentration is always a disaster. But when you know your reasons for doing the things you do and focus on doing them, you end up getting your determined results.
IT'S YOUR CHOICE
The choice is on you, so pick one for yourself. Whatever you want out of life should be on you, not on your father, mother, or any other person in particular.
My mom once said that she wanted me to be a nurse. But, do you know that she never said a word of this to me, while I was in sec school, and even when I got into uni?
She never did, but why did she inform me of her thought on something that seems to be late already? I guess she was just trying to air her thought.
She didn't inform me earlier, because she wanted the choice to be on me, not on her or based on pressure.
To be sincere, I don't see myself being a nurse, because that's not my dream. Even if my mom had informed me earlier, I still wouldn't buy her thoughts, because that wasn't my dream.
Dreams are what you foresee, and not what you just jump into.
Dreams call preparation, and not unprepared. You can't embark on a journey without being fully prepared.
Knowing what you want beforehand, calls for preparation.
Preparation is everything in life, without it you go nowhere, get nothing, and lose everything.
The moment you take up something you didn't bargain for in life, accept whatever comes alongside, with a good heart, for the outcome is not always a good one.
Is the competition necessary?
IS THE COMPETITION NECESSARY?
I remember losing a writing contest to one of the top private schools in Abuja way back in 2018.
It was the annual writing contest organised by Project One. I can vividly remember the theme for that year's competition - The Future of the Black Race is in the Child.
If you ask me, I'd say my article was pretty neat, but perhaps it wasn't good enough to claim the trophy.
I tried so hard to fight my tears as the winner, a teenage girl just about my age, mounted the podium with the morale of a peacock to claim her prize.
A hundred thousand naira cash prize slipped through my fingers just like that. The cheers. The applauds. The bright light shimmered over her fair skin. She was in the spotlight, the spotlight I'd craved all my life.
While I jammed my hands together like the rest of the crowd, I struggled to thwart the green monster growling within. Zillions of questions kept jogging through my head. I tried to tame my thoughts and put up an act, but who cared?
I lost. She won. End of story.
I wanted no memory of that day.
“Keep this picture hidden till we graduate from this school,” I told the Head girl, who was also a member of the school's writing squad. I did all this to nurse my wounded ego.
As I recall that red letter day, I smile. Oh! How I have grown.
Writers, gather around this table and let's have some breakfast.
A quick question: Is competition really necessary? Is it better to keep competition out of the way so no one gets hurt or is competition a way to unlock your potential?
Let me decipher this.
As a writer, a writing contest can be a way to refine your writing skills, boost visibility, create awareness for your brand and connect with other writers, too. It's not just about the money, although you should compete to win the money as well.
I advocate for a healthy challenge among writers, but I strongly kick against the toxic competition. For me, it's all about the manner of approach.
If you approach a contest with the wrong mentality, odds are you might not win. Or even if you win, you failed to learn the lessons the experience was meant to teach you.
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but one thing you must do away with is the spirit of competition. You are in the writing business to learn, grow and earn, not to compete with anyone.
It's uncalled for and unhealthy. Rather than compete, why don't you collaborate? This way you grow faster. I learn from you; you learn from me; it is a win-win situation for everybody.
The main problem with competition is that you channel your productive energy into outrunning someone (who may not even know you exit). Think of how far you can go if you focus that energy on sharpening your skills.
Unless you want to dampen your enthusiasm and mount social pressure on yourself, face your front and mind your business. You don't have to verify a point with anyone. If you're calm, it's all nice.
Don't compete with anyone. Trust me, it's not worth it.
Unraveling difficulties
Unraveling difficulties Of mix-up On Rules And Regulations In Community Leadership
Every town has the element of religion and government in it. Almost in all our society leaderships, and in several places of the world, there are crises of individuals in ability or people miss-placing Spiritual principles and organization with those governments.
Sometimes, it may be a leadership mistake or purposeful enforcement of preferred religion upon community dwellers.
THIS IS NOT A GOOD PRACTICE
For a very long time in the community and its leadership history, the misplacement of rules and regulations between religion and government has had ugly effects on community living.
More so, this situation is neglected by many people and many of our leaders. A few who detect the problem seem to grow weak or do nothing about it.
Through this medium, I feel good to point it out and provide some useful tips that can help relevant authorities and interested persons to work towards solving the problem.
Some of the areas we see this mix-up are in "TRADITIONAL, CUSTOMARY AND CULTURAL PRACTICES IN OUR COMMUNITY.
Let us look at them:
* LEADERSHIP ELECTIONS IN OUR COMMUNITIES
Rulership, Leadership, or headship of all kinds, arises from government and has a process for voting a candidate into office.
This process must be civil or subject to government and not religion.
* MARRIAGE, WEDDING, BURIAL AND FUNERAL RITES, etc.
The above are community activities that require inputs of kindred and community governments as well as religious inputs.
Notwithstanding, in this matter, there should not be a mix-up on the role of government and religion.
For example in marriage/wedding, the kindred government shows up with customary requirements; on the part of the male celebrant, the community government plays a part of acknowledgement by declaring him debt-free from community levies and customs.
On the other part, the religious body plays its part, with words of admonition and prayers.
The same thing applies to BURIAL AND FUNERAL RITES, etc.
Keeping track always to do the right things and refuse abuse of " RULES AND REGULATIONS IN RELIGION AND GOVERNMENT, HELPS FIX
MANY YEARS OF PAINS AND TROUBLES IN COMMUNITY LEADERSHIP AND PEOPLE'S LIVES.
I've got no one to lose in this teaching
You are the world's pearl.
SHOWING DIFFERENT VIEWS ABOUT OCCUPATION AND NEEDS
Due to occupational challenges and increasing needs in health and business in different places, too many people give in to living and working cheaply. These substandard practices finally backfire.
This is supported by the generally accepted slogan, "Evil Men Do Go After them".
To avoid creating problems that bug our lives, it is good that we follow due process that produces an acceptable and enjoyable living.
To make a good impact in our communities, we must be expressing and showing "Views That Solves Problems" and not those that create problems in the world.
My book "STRATEGIES FOR TALENT DISCOVERY", helps to improve our views about occupation and needs by providing organized knowledge on what"OCCUPATION IS AND WHAT IT IS NOT" and how to "Solve desires through the rule Of our talents"
For example, reading through its opening pages you we will learn the following:
1. How to appreciate human life and dignity
2. How to develop good feelings towards people and their needs; other creatures and our environments.
3. How to understand the best ways to use official and none official positions, etc. to give love, respect and care to people and then help solve their problems.
4. How to work to the top level in life by creating opportunities that help us serve and solve needs as often as we can, etc.
Hope you've understood something from the above education, please kindly share it in the comment section and with your friends.
I've got no one to lose in this teaching
You are the world's pearl.
One visibility hack we overlook as writers is
ONE VISIBILITY HACK WE OVERLOOK AS WRITERS IS...
Something happened in my school over the weekend, which I believe isn't a new thing in higher institutions; be it universities, polytechnics, colleges of education and every other institution.
It was time for the students' election, and everywhere was so rowdy, going to school that day was a big deal for me because my health was very unstable. But a lecturer said something that made me leave the comfort of my bed and head to school that morning.
I already have my candidates for the SUG president position, the vice, the welfare and so on. But it wasn't an easy voting process as the whole students gathered together in one place to vote for their candidates.
Now, before that time, the SUG president aspirants and the vice president aspirants were two each, with each of them supporting their chosen vice president.
What I mean is, that a Sug president supporting a vice president and vice versa, meaning that those students supporting the sug president and those students supporting the vice president would also vote for him and the same with the vice president.
I don't know if that description makes significance.
But what I want you to understand from this story is the act of collaboration.
They collaborated and won the election. That's a very strategic way to aid in winning.
Bringing it home now
A lot of us want to increase our visibility but we are neglecting this one hack in our field which is collaboration.
For example, you admire someone in your field so much not only because you love how he or she does his things but also because the person has been able to build visibility and command influence, and you would want that for yourself.
Now, what you have to do is collaborate with such people, either to host a training and they are the guest, or during your book launch, they would be the guest or any other form of collaboration you can think of.
Yes, it works, but note this one thing.
There are some people that you need to have a level of relationship with before such collaborations take place. Don't just wake up one morning, jump into someone's DM and start asking for you to collaborate with him or her.
I guess you know "the ignore button" that would be your case.
And please, many of you who do some collaborations do it in a very wrong way.
How would you say you want to host a program and invite someone of great value then you would say the person's act of collab is for FREE.
That's being selfish.
Don't make the mistake of chatting that person up with the mindset that, "He or she would do it for FREE."
Like they don't have their stuff to do abi?
Ori, they are jobless ni?
After tending your proposal to such people, ask them for their terms; as someone that is well trained, then it is left for them to give you their terms for payment or say themselves that they would do it for FREE (this would be possible if it's your best friend.
After this, there is a place for negotiation. If their terms are cool to you, fine. If it's not cool then, chip in your terms and either seal the collabo or cancel it.
Do you get the gist?
What would you be doing differently from onwards?
Six big benefits you enjoy as a content writer
SIX BIG BENEFITS YOU ENJOY AS A CONTENT WRITER
Earlier this year, I bought a musical course or maybe training. And after this training, one of the trainers, Mr Wealth Priceless (a gospel artiste) spoke about his ebook (written content) after which I developed an interest and bought it.
As I read through this book, I became more engrossed and decided to know more about this man. I researched and download all of his downloadable songs and began to follow him more closely.
Why? His content has bound me to him and I came to Know, Like and Trust him.
So, that's just the power of content creation. It singles you out as authority among your equals.
I know other gospel artists may be better than him, but because of his content, I couldn't think of any other person whenever I remember gospel ministry.
There are a lot of benefits to enjoy as a content writer. One good news about content writing is that it's never a liability.
So below are some of the reasons why you need content writing. You need it
For visibility
Through the things you write consistently, you attract more people to your brand. That is to say, more people get to *see* and *meet* you. This is what you truly need to make sales.
It was content writing that made me know Mr Wealth.
To demonstrate competence and showcase expertise.
When you write on a particular niche often, people begin to see you as someone competent in that field.
I consistently write about how I help young minds discover their special abilities for destiny focus, gain clarity and build products around them. I also tell you how I help you discover your purpose and achieve excellence through writing, of which this work is a part.
Even if I am not an expert in this field, you trust me and see me as one because I write on these topics often, I'm always in your face, and you're recognizing me with it.
Mr Wealth developed competence in what he does and made me believe him.
To build an audience
An audience is a group of people who are interested in you or what you do.
Building an active audience is tasking. Being a content writer is not enough to help you get successful at building an active audience that matches your purpose. You need to become a consistent content writer.
To build KLT
Content Writing helps you to build Know, Like and Trust in whatever field you are: whether as a musician, businessperson, designer, etc. It will make your clients love you and be willing to buy whatever you sell.
If you're a good content writer, it will place authority among your equals.
To make money
How do I make money by posting on Readcash? Do you remember I said content writing would help you build know, like and trust factors? Once people know and trust you, selling to them is easier.
Some of you paid for this training on the first day that you heard me talk about it.
I have used my content over the month to nurture you and get you to trust me, so you now trust me with your money.
It's that simple.
Before you sell, share. Share valuable content for free over time.
For Higher Conversion Rate
High-rating content writing helps in enormous mutation rates. There are a few elements that are of importance in this suspicion.
Firstly it helps to develop overseas for your business. It assists to persuade authorized leads to your business. And with different content marketing methods like email marketing, mobile marketing, and other means, these guides can be halved into cold, calm, and heated possibilities.
Bus Stop
It happened that; When I was much younger. About three to four years old. I had an unusual experience in one of my early school days.
There used to be an appointed time (after school hours and very early morning) for the school bus to pick up and drop off students whose home is far. It never occurred to me these students pay for their transportation alongside their school fees every session, but, I'd always wonder why the school bus kept some (like me) and picked a few no pupils.
This made me purpose in my heart one day that I'll be following the school-bus home, whatever it will take.
(bell rang) it was closing hour (bell) I anxiously longed to hear. I rushed down with my books well packed in my bag.
With joy, I got myself a back seat On the bus. Of cause, I had some of my classmates present who usually would follow the bus home.
Soon, the bus kicked off. My home then wasn't too far from school. I normally would trek home with my mum/sister/neighbour coming to pick me up.
In no time, I could spot already my house from a little distance, but, something had gone wrong; the little boy was afraid and wouldn't want to speak out, of fear.
The driver as his normal routine never thought/expected anyone to drop soon. He knew already a stopping point for everyone he picked. Unfortunately for me, it was the driver's exciting moment to have finally escaped the gallops and potholes. Yes, my house was situated by the roadside. So, the driver added a little force to the turtle and sped up, moving faster than before.
Heartbroken, all I could do was stare at my house with a feeling of guilt, as we passed where I ought to stop. Na shortcut I take, I never thought it'd be longer.
We on our way got to the different stop points, while I watched my friends, classmates and other pupils alighted upon reaching their destination. It wasn't a funny moment at all. The more we decreased, the more I was noticed by the driver. One hour is almost gone, a trek I could have made home in 15mins at most.
Something kept me back on the bus, even though at some point was forced in my mind to drop at just any junction and find my way home. but, how could I? I don't wanna get lost, even little children are afraid of death! I was sure of my home and where I ought to be. So, I let it settle in my mind "any bus stop ain't your destination, boy."
In short, that was how I had a tour around the world. I was the only one left, and soon, got overwhelmed with the feeling of regret when the driver asked, where's your destination? Won't you drop? Where do you reside?
Dumbfounded. I was stubborn right, but I couldn't stop my emotions from playing out. Tears had their way down my cheeks, and the only way I could express better was "I had passed my home."
The driver took me back to school. My final option and last bus stop. There, I met with my troubled mother who had wept out her eyes. "Victor, where have you been?" she asked. Many people gathered around her; some said "Congratulations, Mummy" and others like my neighbours shouting "algid omo. Where have you been? Who cares? all I knew was "I was finally home."
Don't be intimidated by others to achieve what you couldn't yet. Each man's journey is different and so are heading towards different destinations here on earth.
Your friends and people you know already alighted from the same bus you took off, and you seem too worried thinking the journey wouldn't end again. Keep moving, and never consider giving in. Any/Every junction doesn't lead home, get to the bus stop, your stop-point.
You might have made a mistake going the wrong path and taking the wrong step like me in the story. Can I tell you? Trust the driver, He will take you home, just where you need to be.
May you receive grace to trust him in your life journey!
Avoid Time Wasters
Avoid Time Wasters!
Talking about time wasters, it is not only centred on the spiritual part. The delay most singles experience in their marital life nowadays is mostly from the wrong person they are in a relationship with.
It is not only the devil or the enemies from one's father's or mother's family that can cause a delay in one's marital life, being in a relationship with the wrong person who is a time-waster is also enough to debar the progress of one's journey in life is getting married early.
A time waster is like a parasite in the life of the person that has them as his or her relationship partner.
Some people are just in your life not for any other reason but just to cause a setback to you maritally.
Such people will only cause stagnation in your life, they won't move it forward, they have no contribution to it, and neither do they have any plan/s for you in their lives nor see you in their future.
If you are a lady and you are in a relationship with a time-waster, such a man will engage you in a relationship for up to five, eight, or ten years, he will turn you to Lord of the rings and won't raise any discussion about marriage. He will never make his mind known to you if he will marry you or not. When you ask him about his plans for marriage, he will have nothing to say. He will keep telling you "let's see how the relationship goes between us before we talk about marriage".
He will find it difficult to introduce you to important people in his life, like his family and friends. He will not also want to meet with your family; he will keep postponing meeting them each day. A time-waster man won't allow potential suitors to come near you but will drive them away. He knows that he will not marry you, and still won't permit another man to ask for your hand in marriage.
If you are a man and you are in a relationship with a time-waster, such a lady will just be in your life without adding any meaningful value to it. She is only attached to you and temporarily in your life, because of the benefits she is gaining from the relationship and once she is no longer receiving them, she will end the relationship with you.
All she will do is find you one excuse or the other and keep on giving you reason/s why she is not yet ready for marriage. Such a lady will always postpone marriage for you every year. Meeting your parents will be so hard for her to do, that's because she is not yet ready for an everlasting commitment with you.
A time-waster lady won't get married to you until you have millions or billions of naira in your account. She won't get married to you until you meet up with some of her demands even when she knows that you can't meet up with them.
Time wasters won't be sure if they will settle down in marriage with you and for this reason, they will keep giving you millions of reasons why they are not yet ready for marriage. They will always see you as a means to satisfy their sexual desire and nothing more.
Time Wasters won't be faithful to you in a relationship; they will surely get themselves involved in another one.
Time wasters are not difficult to observe in a relationship, there are some signs that you will see to identify them. Some of these are mentioned in this write-up. Once you observe that you are in a relationship with a time-waster, please flee from him or her before it gets too late.
Ups and Downs
I know you've been experiencing ups and downs in your life. I know some days feel like hell. I know at times it feels frustrating and so exhausting.
Even the ones you call friends might at one time abandon you to face your challenges alone. And now, it seems like all hope is lost and the only option there is to give up on that dream you've been pursuing.
Because nothing seems to work.
Maybe you should give up on it already, and try doing something different from what you should do. Maybe you should just give up already and accept what life is serving you on the plate.
Maybe you should just give up and move with every wind that blows.
"Give up, give up," is the only sentence that makes a lot of sense to you right now.
But before you give up, I want you to know this.
Maybe you've been appointed this peak to show others that it can be walked. Maybe you're to make the way for others to find ways. Maybe you're to bear the pain of the procedure so that others would feel less pained.
The challenges we face sometimes are not for us, but NATIONS
Even if you've lost hope, because of those who have placed their hopes on you, because of those looking up unto you, because of the generations that are to come after you, please do not give up.
A time is coming that everything would make sense, only if you allow these moments that it's not making any sense to pass and have its course.
Failure: A Fundamental Element Of Success.
Many people today, when they are challenged with failure, they see it as the end of their journey in life. If we know the importance of failure and understand how valuable it is on the road to our success, then we won't see it as a big mountain that cannot be moved.
Failure truly gives rise to depression, it makes you feel worthless yourself, but mind you, It is from your failure that you can grow and learn to be successful in life.
It is not when you fail that you have become a failure. You become a failure right from the moment you allow your failure to weigh you down, and you refuse to rise from it and make a success out of it.
The failure you have today will reshape you, remould you, reconstruct you, and redefine you into becoming much better to be acceptable for success. Never see your failure as a problem, see your failure as a stepping stone to your success. Challenge your failure by making a success out of it.
Do not give in to the fear of failure and never permit it to weigh you down or overcome you. Understand that the failure you had today, will help you to gather more strength to achieve your success.
No man on earth had not experienced failure before, even the rich people you see around you have also failed so many times before they achieved their success.
To achieve success, here are some guidelines to follow:
Trust in yourself and that you can accomplish it. Always have it in mind that as long as others are achieving success, you also can achieve it.
Always have it in mind that those that have become successful today, have also passed through the road of failure.
Know your past faults and do not rehearse them.
Be self-determined this time and be focused.
Be hardworking, disciplined, and diligent.
Learn how to balance things correctly.
Be positive-minded and have positive-minded people as friends.
NOTE: Though, you might feel ashamed about your failure, do not give in to it but turn it into an advantage in attaining your success.
Keep doing what you're doing
Keep being strong.
I'm cheering you on.
Does a good relationship/marriage still exist
Does A Good Relationship/Marriage Still Exist?
When some singles are being questioned on their view about relationships/marriage, you will be shocked by their responses that they do not believe that true love and a good/healthy relationship/marriage truly exist. You will hear that there is nothing like a healthy relationship/marriage.
This is a result of their personal experience of heartbreaks in their previous relationship/s and their witness to the abusive marriage their parents or someone close to them had. The belief of marriage usually tells on those whose parents had a nasty marriage which delayed results in their breakups. All these experiences would have put fear in them and also made them believe that they will also have the same bad experience as their parents if they go into marriage.
Some have concluded in their hearts not to go into any relationship again to avoid heartbreak while some that are in a relationship have refused to give their all into it because of the fear of being jilted one day by their partner.
The sad experience of some singles has also made them detest marriage. They have decided to remain single to avoid heartbreak/s.
Dear singles, I can assure you that good relationships/marriages still exist. It is not everyone that is having sorrow in their relationship/marriage, some people are enjoying theirs.
Your past relationship experiences and other people's experiences with unhealthy relationships/marriages should not affect you negatively. Your parents' experience with marriage should not define your own life and should not make you have bad perceptions about marriage.
Your parents have lived their lives, they have chosen their parts already and their lives should not affect yours negatively. The only thing you should keep telling yourself is not to make the same mistakes they have made.
Your parents and those around you who did not have a good marriage or whose marriage had failed might have experienced that because they have chosen the wrong partner, married from the wrong family or maybe they also permitted it to happen because they refused to make their marriage work.
This is the reason why you must not choose wrongly. Pray for a good partner and patiently wait for the right person that will make you have a good experience of a good relationship and who is also ready to walk in the journey of marriage with you; a partner that will support you to make the marriage work, and who will also make you have a good view of what a good/healthy marriage should be.
To have a good marriage requires work! You and your partner must decide together to have a good marriage and work towards making it work. One person cannot make a marriage work, it requires the two parties involved in it to make it work.
Refraining from relationships and rejecting different proposals from men won't make those bad experiences go; it will only make you become bitters yourself and also deprive you of the joy you truly deserve.
You can have a healthy relationship/marriage if you believe in it and also want to have one. Failure to believe that good relationships/marriages exist might not allow you to have one.
Erase every negativity you have on your mind about a relationship/marriage. Those negative mindsets you carry about marriage can also lead you to have a bad marriage. When you carry a positive mind that you will marry right, when you carry a positive mind into your marriage by having it in mind that you will have a good marriage and a good home, it will surely come to manifestation. It is what you believe in that will work for you.
Finally, you can have a good marriage when you have God as the foundation of your marriage/home.
A true meaning of Friendship
A True Meaning Of Friendship
Friendship can be interpreted as a relationship between two or more friends.
Friendship can be established into at least three parts. We have normal friendships, artificial friendships and authentic friendships.
A typical friendship can happen between two or more people who are just friends. They are not too close and do not have a deeper relationship together. This friendship cannot say much about itself. Their relationship does not grow beyond that level of friendship.
A false/fake friendship can also be called a toxic friendship. It is not a quality type of friendship. It is the complete opposite of what true/real friendship means. This friendship is also parasitic; the fake friends only want something from you without giving you anything in return. They can never be there to support you when you need them. They seem to be real friends, but they are not real friends that can be kept. It is also a one-sided friendship.
A true/real friendship, on the other hand, is a mutual and deep kind of friendship, it is the best out of all the types of friendship listed. It is the true definition/meaning of friendship. It is a relationship between two or more friends who share their minds, thoughts, feelings, ideas, deepest secrets, burdens, sorrow, and happiness. They find solutions to each other's/one other's problems and their friend's problems will also be their priority.
This type of friendship starts from a normal friendship, and from there, it grows into a true/real friendship. The bond that has connected them will keep them growing each day.
Friendship means to advise each other/one another rightly and to show each other/one the right part. Real friends won't judge you for who you are but will accept you for who you are, and if they see anything that needs to be corrected in you, they will do that in love. They do not forsake each other/one during trials and difficult times.
True friendship must be displayed in action not only by words. They will believe in themselves, defend/fight for themselves when people hurt them either emotionally or physically, they will support themselves, comfort themselves, encourage themselves, be patient with themselves, and also sympathize with themselves.
True friends are always safe around each other/one another, they do not plot any evil against themselves, they will not be selfish towards themselves, and they will always come to you even when you ask them to leave. True friendship permits the love for each other/one another to grow in their hearts and also allows the root of their love to grow deeper.
Friendship is a bond that we can never find anywhere. If you have true friends then you are too blessed to have this blessing. Because many people have a desire to get a true friend but they don't have one. So we should care for our friends and support them. And share our problems and discuss them with them. They are your supporters they will definitely support you and guide you. And according to me, it's too difficult to get a true friend nowadays. If someone has true friends nowadays then they are lucky enough.
Building a true friendship is not a day's work. It does not happen all of a sudden, you must have been building it for a long time. Also, you must know that before you can have this kind of friendship with your friends, you must have convinced them enough of your true friendship towards them.
Do you have any true friend? If you have then share his/her name and his/her quality that you like most in the comment box.
Here are some reasons why your customers end up not buying from you
Here are three rookie reasons why your customers end up not buying from you.
I remember when I started my entrepreneurial journey, the first business I ever did was selling clothes.
I had to partner with a wholesaler to be getting clothes from him while I sell to people and collect my share.
So, my first five months were lots of struggles trying to sell out my goods.
Unknown to me is little mistakes I didn’t take notice of affecting my sales.
What are these mistakes then?
I was trying to sell to everyone: the truth is that I thought because its clothes, therefore anyone will buy them but I was wrong.
If you are struggling to swap to everyone you will end up selling to no one.
When I realized how true this is, I narrowed down my focus to the most qualified prospects for my product which as of then were mainly young guys who doesn’t have time to go to boutiques.
Knowing this made me change my selling strategy from standing at one location to moving around in a marketplace where they are.
I wasn’t listening enough to decode what they want:
Think about it.
Have you ever seen a doctor suggesting treatment without properly listening to the patient’s problem?
Nah!
They listen first, then identify the problem and finally recommend the right solution for the problem.
As a business owner, active listening is a key competence for you in increasing your sales.
If you don’t listen very well enough, you may not be able to understand what your prospects or customers want to be able to tailor your message to fit their needs.
Listen to your prospects' verbal and non-verbal words, try to understand their pain point and show them how what you sell can be their solution.
One of the ways to know more is by asking thoughtful open-ended questions and paying attention to how they respond to them.
I wasn’t showing enough value: your customers or clients don’t care about what the product is or what features it has.
They only care about how it can make their lives better and easier.
When you focus on showing the value of your product, you’re positioning it to be something your prospects will feel stupid saying no to.
As a business owner, you aren’t selling products or services - you are selling the value these products and services can offer to the end user.
That is what you need to drive more sales in your business.
Haven known these, think of how you can implement them in your business right away.
Besides, you can check out my bio to get a gift I have packaged for you on the three proven secrets to increase your sales online from zero to six-seven figures monthly selling with Whatsapp.
It’s a fifteen-page e-book revealing the simple cash-out system to automate your whatsapp into a six-seven figure sales store in ninety days or less without being online twenty-four looking for people to buy your products or services.
With these secrets, you will never worry about where your next sales will come from.
I will stop here for now.
Final Tips:
People will buy from you.
When you have the right solution tailored to their problem and demonstrated in a way it can provide them with enough value more than the money in their pocket.
Feel free to share your opinion below on which one of these has affected you and how you fixed it in your business.
See you at the Top. And if you wish to say something then you can.
In society there are different calibers of people
In society, there are different calibres of people.
People that are doing better than you, people that are doing lesser than you and people that are not doing anything at all.
It is very possible to see those that are doing lesser than you and you will feel gingered, but when you see people doing better than you, you might be worried.
When you're looking at those ahead of you, you might begin to wonder what you're doing wrongly and start questioning if your effort is not enough.
The reality is that when you understand your assignment, you won't be intimidated by other people.
Even the people you thought are doing lesser than you might be going their best at their assignments.
Everyone's assignment in life is different and so is our pace different.
Focus on your assignment and don't see yourself as in a competition with anyone.
No matter how much you try, you can't win a competition you're not invited to!
Face your assignment and put in your best.
Celebrate those who are doing well in their assignments this week and don't forget to remind yourself that you're doing well at your assignment and you can always do better.
There are two categories of an individual's life. They are the dependent life and the independent life. The people that are living a dependent life; still depend on others for means of survival. They cannot act unless they are pushed to do things. They cannot make any plans for themselves and neither do they have any plans yet. These people can be likened to a child who cannot grow or survive without the help of her parents.
The other category of people (that are living an independent life) is those who have already grown past the dependent phase of life. They can survive without the help of others and can still be of help to those that need their assistance. They know where they are heading in life and that is because they have their plans and purpose to achieve in life. This set of people cannot be tossed around by anyone because they already have their focus.
Out of the two phases, the independent phase is the best.
The phase you find yourself in will determine the level of your growth in life. Whether you are still depending on others as a child or you are an independent person (An adult).
You can be mature in age, but if you still depend on others for a means of survival, waiting for others to make plans for you or before you take action on something, you are not yet mature and it means that you are not yet independent, you are still a dependent being.
An independent life is a mature life.
You cannot live an independent life when you are immature and you still hold on to others for survival.
To live an independent life, you must stop depending on others and be ready to grow past the dependent stage.
I know you've been experiencing ups and downs in your life.
I know some days feel like hell
I know at times it feels frustrating and so exhausting.
Even the ones you call friends might at one time abandon you to face your challenges alone.
And now, it seems like all hope is lost and the only option there is to give up on that dream you've been pursuing.
Because nothing seems to work.
Maybe you should give up on it already, and try doing something different from what you should do.
Maybe you should just give up already and accept what life is serving you on the plate.
Maybe you should just give up and move with every wind that blows.
"Give up, give up," is the only sentence that makes a lot of sense to you right now.
But before you give up, I want you to know this.
Maybe you're to make the way for others to find directions. Maybe you're to bear the pain of the process so that others would feel less pained.
The challenges we face sometimes are not for us, but NATIONS
Even if you've lost hope, because of those who have placed their hopes on you, because of those looking up unto you, because of the generations that are to come after you, please do not give up.
A time is coming that everything would make sense, only if you allow these moments that it's not making any sense to pass and have its course.
Keep doing what you're doing
Keep being strong.
I'm cheering you on.
I'm rooting for you!
Do not pursue what is right
Do not pursue what is right. Rather, pursue what is right for you at the moment. It's called priority.
Your assignment in life may require that you find God before you find the money.
Others may have gone ahead of you monetarily or otherwise, but the fastest way to abort your life's assignment is by ignoring the PRIORITY of its pursuit.
Simply put: Some things must come FIRST
There are people you should meet/find EARLY in life.
And no matter how far your colleagues have gone ahead of you in their 'lanes,' you mustn't compare where you are to where they are.
You should rather strive to compare where you are to where God wants you to be.
It is easy to think that what others are pursuing is worth our pursuit too. Because what they are chasing is right. But then, in terms of priority, the right things our friends are pursuing may be wrong for us.
For instance, while others are focused on finding money, the PRIORITY of your assignment and destiny at the moment demands that you find God.
It may look so strange, but that's the demand on you. Don't forget, AT THE MOMENT (FOR THE SAKE OF PRIORITY)
Sometimes, the PRIORITY of your assignment could be that you build quality associations and relationships at the moment. But you're busy building castles in the air.
At times, the PRIORITY of your life's assignment could be that you should separate yourself from toxic relationships and associations. But you're busy with finding more relationships. No wonder we're sometimes frustrated because there's less attention given to the priority of our purpose.
Thank God, Frustration sometimes is a gift to us. Because it forces us to think about where we've gotten it wrong and perhaps where we should get it right.
Think about where you got frustrated. What did you do? You questioned who? Yourself or God?
Have you considered what the priority of your assignment in life should be?
Do you know what is worth your effort or pursuit RIGHT NOW?
Do you know what is PRESENTLY worth your money and time?
Do you know what or where is worth your presence and absence AT THE MOMENT?
Am I pursuing what I should be pursuing, what I think I should be pursuing, or what others are pursuing?
Am I building my life according to the pattern of priority for my assignment, or according to some random guesswork— hoping I'll evolve into greatness someday?
May we not be too generic that we bury our uniqueness. Amen.
As the month is running to an end, others may be setting new month goals.
Do you know that the priority of your life's assignment could be that you revisit previous goals and execute them?
While others are trying to come up with something new, do you know that what seems like the 'old' in your past could be what needs your attention?
Don't assume. Be sure. Ask God' at least, and at most.'
Assuming you have no unique assignment in life throws you into the pit of failure. Because your success will ultimately be measured by what God has called you to do. And you can hardly discover your assignment by assumption. Sadly, nobody can discover your assignment on your behalf.
While you set out to pursue what is right, make sure it's the right thing for you AT THE MOMENT. I mean, pursue the priority and maximize time, because the night cometh when no man can work.
For everything, you have to set your planning first. What to perform and how to accomplish it. And then everything will be going well after then.
Now you are a writer
NOW YOU ARE A WRITER
Now you're a writer is a statement of taking responsibility. It's just like saying now you're married.
I believe you know life would be far different from when you were a single lady or guy because there would be things you ought to stop doing and things you ought to start doing since you're now a married person.
So also, Now you're a writer, there are things we shouldn't see you do. There are mistakes we shouldn't see you make and there are things you should start doing.
You don't need to make certain mistakes, there are other writers ahead of you you should learn from.
You're not getting it right you might say, don't you think there is something you're not doing right?
THE DON'Ts
Do not take Writing as just a hobby
A hobby is what you do when it's convenient for you. What you do in your leisure, in your spare time.
What does it mean to take Writing as a hobby?
It means you're like a switch, you go OFF and ON.
You're not consistent in what you do.
Imagine these two shop owners, Mrs A and Mrs B.
Being a shop owner, Mrs A makes sure she stocks up her shop with varieties of things; which means she has anything any customer wants, except it's out of the market.
She also makes sure she opens her shop as early as five thirty am and closes by eleven thirty pm.
There's no time you would see her shop very unkempt; it's always neat.
The way she interacted with her customers was amazing.
Her customers always love to buy from her, and every minute, her shop gets crowded with people wanting to get something from her shop.
Indeed she was the envy of other shop owners in the neighbourhood.
But Mrs B's case was not near hers, it was different.
Most of the time, many customers leave her shop without getting what they want, and it's so alarming.
She opens by ten am, and closes by two pm.
She allows almost everything in her shop to exhaust before she goes to the market for restocking.
Now, which shop owner would you buy from?
Mrs A, I guess.
Why because she is serious about what she's doing. She takes what she does as being a BUSINESS instead of being a hobby.
For people to take you to be a serious person/writer, you need to be intentional about your presence online. Consistency is key and you must show up always, no matter the situation.
If you want people to listen to you, there are certain things that you should stop doing, which I would mention in the rest of this content.
Do not rush to write books
Many people have asked me why it took me so long to author a book. It's a really good question which I would love to answer in different content, putting it here would take up the whole space.
But before you write a book, count the cost.
Count the cost of Editing and Proofreading
Count the cost of getting an amazing book cover
Count the cost of getting a killer book description
Count the cost of book formatting
Count the cost of book publishing
Count the cost of marketing
If you've not done this, please, do not write that book.
Very important, before you write that book, make sure you have a ready audience for it.
Do not wake up one morning and start writing that book.
What would you be doing differently from now on?
Give your opinion and start your journey.
The three magic words
The Three Magic Words For A Healthy Relationship
Getting yourself into a relationship with someone means that you are mature physically, emotionally, and mentally. If you are not mature in these areas, you will surely find your relationship difficult to handle or manage.
Before you go into any bond you must know these three magic words "Please! Thank You! I Am Sorry!"
It is not only about learning it, you must get yourself ready to utter them at any time when needed, whether it is convenient for you or not.
These words are referred to as MAGIC WORDS because they work more than one's expectation in settling relationship disputes when they are been uttered. (Whether it is a relationship between you and your partner or with other people).
You must learn how to use the word "please" for your partner. It shows that you are not commanding him or her with your words to make your request. This shows how respectful and polite you are to him or her in making your request. This will also ease your partner's mind to listen to you and offer you anything you requested from him or her.
You must know how to say "Thank you" to show your appreciation and how grateful you are to your partner for anything he or she has given you or accomplished for you no matter how minor the aspect is. You using the word "Thank you" will create an impression of how much you appreciate his or her effort in doing something for you just to make you happy and this will also encourage him or her to do more for you.
If a situation is becoming tense between two partners in a relationship, one of the magic words to be used at that time to calm the situation down is "I am sorry". When this is uttered, such an atmosphere will become peaceful again and instead of the argument resulting in a conflict, that magic words will wave the conflict off.
You must learn to say "sorry" even when you are sure of yourself that you are not the one at fault and did not wrong your partner in any way. Not being willing to say that you are sorry when you wrong your partner or even when you did not wrong him or her just to allow peace to reign is an act of pride. Indirectly you are saying that you are too big to say sorry and before you know it, this will lead to a hot argument and a long-time fight between the two of you.
It is when you do not love your partner deeply that those words will become too big for you to say but once there is love, you can do anything for him or her just to make peace reign by using those magic words in your relationship.
Not putting those words into use means that you are inviting war into your relationship. If you are someone who finds them hard to say, you will have to wait till when you are ready to learn those words and find them easy to say before you go into any relationship or marriage.
Trust me, those magic words go a long way in any relationship. To you, those words do not mean anything but to your partner it means a lot. Those magic words help in moving relationships forward and also make them stronger. It is one of the major keys that open doors to a stronger relationship.
It is a pity that many people have ruined their relationship just because of failure to adhere to those important words just because they feel that they are not indebted to their partner by telling him or her sorry. It is not only the person that is wrong that can say sorry.
At times you need to also say sorry even if you are not at fault. This does not turn you into a fool but it is just one of the ways to create peace between you and your spouse. Remember that two wrongs cannot make it right.
If your partner is a person who is always moved by those magic words, you have no choice but to learn how to make use of them just to make him or her happy.
No matter how much you argue with him or her, no matter how you try to prove yourself right just to fulfil all righteousness by making him or her see reason/s in whatsoever you are saying, once you refused to use the proper magic word at that particular time when it is needed most, you cannot make any sense to him or her. It is just a ruin of moment.
These magic words not only calm the mind; it strengthens relationship bonds and helps to increase intimacy.
What do you stand to gain?
What do you stand to gain?
I was at a program where I saw several indecent dressings and the big question that popped up in my heart was that what do they stand to gain?
What do you stand to gain when you're dressed in a way you know will make others uncomfortable? The dress might make you comfortable, "there is nothing wrong with it" you might say but here you are making someone else fall away. Mind you, someone else can be a brother or a sister. It is wrong in our world now when people feel the only ones who easily fall prey to seduction that arose as a result of indecent dressing are males. Females could also be affected and fall as well.
Now, what do you stand to gain when you make others drift away through your careless lifestyle?
All you do in this life shouldn't be for yourself, for what pleases or make you happy alone. Your life isn't about you alone if not people wouldn't have been present at your naming ceremony. What you do matters, how you dress and live your life matter because people are looking at you and that's why there is a popular saying that "you are addressed by the way you dress". This wouldn't be if no one was looking at you.
To be a good example to others and to live a life that will please your maker; watch how you dress, watch how you live your life, and be a good and positive influence to all those who are looking at you.
Who are those looking at me? Why are they looking at me? These might be your questions right now and to answer this, I'll say those who are looking at you are those who you've spoken to before, those who have read your articles before or even those who have heard about what you do. You might be surprised that even those whom you least expect to know you knew you one way or the other and follow you closely in all you do.
They are looking at you because the Holy scripture tells us that "the earnest expectations of the creation await the manifestation of the sons of God". Are you a child of God? If yes; they are looking at you because they await your great manifestation of God's glory, they are looking at you to get that which you have to offer.
What do you stand to gain in doing what won't bring to you the true glory you desire for your life? Think about these things. Be blessed!
TIME
Have come to discover in this life that there is absolutely nothing new under this sun. Yes, I honestly mean this same sun we all live and breathe under. All that happens in life is simply a matter of time and chance, nothing new but just how we place ourselves for specific things at a specific time of our lives including the opportunities that come our way. My big question now is that what's the time? What's the chance? Why do things happen the way they appear?
My research in all these years of asking questions about time and even chance made me discover that
Time is a fixed asset.
Time itself is a currency because just like money, once it has been spent, it has a way of bringing its returns to you depending on how you spent it.
Time is no respecter of anybody but still doesn't fail a man who walks well with it.
Time and chance are two close friends who walk together and so when we get our time right in life, the right opportunity we need will also come knocking since the two can't do without each other.
HONOUR THE TIME FACTOR, YOU WILL VALUE LIFE'S OFFERS TO YOU. SEE YOU AT THE TOP!
Invest in your relationship
Invest In Your Relationship!
Investing in a relationship is like investing in a business, the more you invest in the business, the more gain or profit you receive.
There are some investments that you must make in your relationship that will benefit you and your spouse and make your relationship more healthy.
These investments will also maintain your relationship and give it a smooth journey.
Now, let's talk about those investments:
The number one investment you must contribute in your relationship/marriage, is your love and care.
The love and care for each other are what you both need to keep your marriage strong.
It takes two to tangle. In your relationship/marriage, your love must not be one-sided, when it is only one person that is loving and the other person does not reciprocate the love, the only person loving in the relationship will surely burn out one day. When the love is mutual, you will both work on keeping the love for each other alive and always afresh.
Care is another thing you must invest in your relationship. You cannot be in a relationship and you will want to be cared for by your partner while you refuse him or her the same care. No, it is wrong! Your care for your partner is also important, likewise his or her care for you. No one would want to be where he or she won't be cared for.
Help each other to feel loved and cared for in your relationship, it will help your relationship to last long.
The number investment is your time and attention.
Creating time for each other and giving attention to yourselves, is another way to invest in your relationship/marriage. You need time to communicate and grow a bond and intimacy.
Also, one of the ingredients to growing a healthy relationship is attention. To invest it in your relationship, you and your partner both need to give each other your undivided attention. Always make each other a priority. Pay attention to whatever your spouse tells you, his or her needs and wants.
The number three investment you need to invest in the relationship is respect.
You must give honour and respect to your spouse, either through your words or your actions. You must give respect to their views on things, needs, decisions, boundaries, desires, observations, e.t.c.
The number four investment your relationship/marriage needs are money.
In the same way, you invest money to make more money, you need to invest money into your relationship/marriage to see a more positive result from it. The importance of money in a relationship/marriage cannot be underestimated. Money helps to build, nurture, and strengthen your relationship/marriage.
Don't be stingy about investing money in your relationship/marriage. Try to invest money in anything that will help you to build a healthy relationship.
For example: If you are in courtship, you can invest money to book a counselling section on marriage or a relationship-building course, this will be of help to you in your marriage.
Also, if you are married, you can invest your money into the needs of your home.
For example, as a woman in the house, you can use your resources/income to invest in your marriage by contributing to the children's school fees, getting some things needed in the house, and you can also decide to treat your husband to a great meal. There is nothing wrong with that.
The number five investment you must invest in your relationship is your effort.
For your relationship to be healthy, you and your spouse need to put in your effort to ensure that it last.
Don't get easily tired of the relationship or frustrated with it. Fight for your relationship together by putting in all your effort to make it work!
The more you invest in your relationship, the more sustainability of your relationship.
Wait for the right time
Trust In God's Timing For You!
One of the reasons why most singles fall into the wrong marriage is because they have neglected God's appointed time for their marital settlement to come into fulfilment before going into marriage. They refused to accept God's time for them and go for their time. Some cannot even differentiate between God's timing and their timing.
Most singles have allowed themselves to be easily swayed away from God's plan and time for their lives. They find it difficult to wait again for God's proper timing, they are tired of "God when group?", and they cannot wait to join the "God has done it group" or "My Amen was not in vain group".
Many have permitted oppression and depression from different angles to weigh them down. Different display of pre-wedding and wedding pictures all over the internet by their friends has also helped in making them quickly walk out of God's timing for them, thinking that the waiting period is taking longer. They cannot wait to also flaunt their wedding rings and show people that God has also done it in their lives and because of this reason, they rushed into marriage before the appointed time for them, and therefore, missed God's proper timing for their lives.
Dear singles, marriage is truly a good thing, It was ordained by God because He has a purpose to bring out of it in each individual's life and He sees that it is a beautiful thing for us to enjoy. For you to have the beautiful experience of what marriage is and for your beautiful dream about it to come into reality, you need to take your time and relax! Do not allow pressures or circumstances to push or rush you out of God's appointed time for you.
The fact that Sis A and Bro B are getting married does not mean that you should also rush into marriage and it doesn't mean that you will not get married too. Marriage is not meant for competition. You might have a specific time and age you have planned to get married but things might not be working out as planned; it does not mean that God has forsaken you. It is just that God's time is different from yours.
When this is happening, the only thing you need to do is to learn to trust God for His appointed time for your life and pray for the time He has for you to quickly come to fulfilment. It is in God's time that you will never have any cause to regret, it is in His appointed time that you can also experience peace in your marriage.
The age might not be on your side anymore, you might have younger ones and friends that are already married and you might think that you are the only one left out, do not be discouraged, do not compare their time with yours, you are not them and they are not you, your time differ, your destinies differ, your purposes differ. God makes things beautiful in their own time. Wait for your time!
Be sure that you want to go into marriage because you are sure that God is already leading you into it, be sure that you are also prepared for it, and ensure that you are not planning for marriage because of the pressure you are receiving from your friends and family, be sure that you also have all it takes as a man and as a woman to go into it.
You need to wait for the actual time that God is leading you into marriage before you go into it. If you rush into marriage before your time, you will rush out the same way. That your friends are getting married does not mean that you should also start planning your marriage immediately. That might be the time for their marital settlement and it might not be yours. Do not work based on another person's time.
Do not compare another person's time with yours, It can make you derail from God's plan and purpose for your life and in your marriage. You will start taking the wrong steps out of God's purpose for your marriage and that is because you are now working based on another person's time.
Trust in God's time for you and patiently wait on it.
Also, make sure that in your period of waiting, you find something to do.
Try to learn, relearn and unlearn the necessary things in preparation for your own time, try to learn different skills, learn how to cope and adapt well to marriage life, work on yourself (especially on your character), learn humility, patience, learn how to communicate well with people, learn how to manage a home, work on your temperament, commit your future and marriage in God's hands.
There is this saying that "PRIOR PREPARATION PREVENTS POOR PERFORMANCE" this means that when you prepare yourself well before the arrival of something or its scheduled time, you will perform excellently in it but when you fail to prepare for it, you will surely perform woefully in it.
Marriage is not a place to rush into, it takes patience but when taking your time to wait for your appointed time, get more understanding about how to live right in it to make a difference by not rushing out of it when you get there.
Those that have rushed into marriage without necessary preparation have rushed out and now wish they also have the opportunity you have now, they wish they would have also prepared more, wait patiently for their time, and learn more about what marriage entails before they got married.
This is an opportunity that you have also received, use it wisely!
One of the mistakes ladies make
One Of The Mistakes Ladies Make!
One of the major mistakes ladies make nowadays is to see the red light from their mothers-in-law and still go ahead in forcing the love that is not there.
Dear ladies, please stop forcing any mutual relationship between you and your mother-in-law or looking for every means for her to love you or show you her good side when it is clear to you that she is not ready to give you that or accept you as her daughter-in-law.
You don't have to force such love. The love between you and your mother-in-law must be natural. One of the battles that a lady should not dare to fight but stay away from is the battle between her and her mother-in-law. Once the battle is on, it takes God's grace for it to be settled.
You do not have to go to extra lengths showering her gifts upon gifts before she must accept you. I understand that her son (your spouse) might have made all promises to you that nothing can separate you both, not even his mother, but could you please give me your listening ears?
That's not enough guarantee for you to stay long in that relationship. No matter the promises your spouse might have given to you, that woman is still his mother, a particular time will come that he will have to obey his mother. When you notice that his mother does not like you, please my dear sister run for your life.
Your spouse's family are the major people that you must be on good terms with, especially his parents. if the closeness or the love is not there, then you don't have to force it or stay long in that relationship.
Remember that these are the people that you will still fall back on when an issue later comes up between you and your man in marriage but if the relationship between you and his family is not okay, you might not have the boldness to face them.
You do not have to risk what you should not be risking your life on. Most ladies go wrong by thinking that when they keep on satisfying her or buying their mother-in-law's gifts she will accept them. Please, how do you expect to satisfy a mother-in-law that does not love you?
You don't have to be showering gifts to your mother-in-law always before she must love you. What if you do not have the opportunity to get her those gifts again, maybe due to money issues, won't she start acting strangely towards you again? My dear, at that time, what are you going to do again to see her good side?
You have to ensure that the love your in-laws have for you most especially your mother-in-law is genuine and is not based on the gifts you are giving to her. Buying her gifts can never buy her love for you. If truly you are meant for her son, she will accept you. What is yours will never pass you by?
If it is not working out between you and your mother-in-law, it is better to walk out now in her son's life than to be facing problems from her in marriage. Most ladies make this mistake and in the end, they will be regretting it.
Also, praying for your mother-in-law's death before your arrival at her son's house won't determine your peace of mind in that marriage or how long you will stay in her son's house. What matters most is to watch well before you leap. Remember that you will also get to her position one day.
May you not miss it maritally.
Reasons why you must know each other's languages
Reasons Why You Must Know Each Other's Love Languages
There is a special way that each person expresses/shows love to their loved ones and also interprets/receives love when it is extended to them. The way you see love being extended to you might be different from the way another person sees it.
Your love language is that special way your partner communicates love to you that makes you feel loved.
You and the person you are in a relationship with must know each other's love languages, the reason for this would be discussed in this write-up.
But before we go to that, let's talk about the five different love languages according to "Gary Chapman".
These are:-
Word Of Affirmation
Quality Time
Act Of Service
Receiving gifts
Physical Touch
Word Of Affirmation:-
This is the expression of love to your partner through words. Those words might be spoken words or written words. Some people are always moved by words. Your partner might be someone that is always moved by complementary or appreciative words like:
"You are beautiful!"
"I love you".
"Thank you!"
"I appreciate your effort".
Some people love hearing their partner professing their love to them, and love it when their partner tells them how much they mean to them and how they respect them. Such people can never be tired of hearing those words. If your partner's love language is a word of affirmation, you can tell through the reactions he or she gives when you express your love to him or her through those words.
Quality Time:-.
If your partner is someone who values attention, loves being around you or wants you around him or her, never feels bored when you are around but always feels happy, always wants undivided attention from you when you visit, enjoys going out with you, and so on. Then, your partner's love language is quality time.
For such people, your time with them does make them feel special, important, and feel loved.
Act Of Service:-
Some people's love language is receiving an act of service from their partner. They do feel loved when their partner offers to help them, especially when they did not ask for it.
Some people also love rendering service to their partner when they know that he or she would need it.
For example:- The service of helping your partner wash the dishes.
To some, offering to do something for them on their behalf can be a way of showing love to them. If your partner's love language is an act of service, you will know this in his or her physical expression.
Receiving Gift:-
Your partner's love language might be to give you a gift, it is a way he or she can demonstrate his or her love for you. Receiving a gift from a partner could also be some people's love language. It shows how caring and affectionate their partner is towards them. This kind of person will always be happy when you offer him or her a gift and might also tell you to get him or her a gift.
Also, forgetting to get a gift for him or her, especially on his or her big day (birthday) can make him or her sad and get mad at you.
Physical Touch:-
Physical touch is another love language of some people. Some people like to hold their partner and love it when their partner holds their hands, hugs them, and rests their head on his or her shoulder.
Sexual intimacy could also be part of this for the married couple.
Now, back to the reasons why you must know each other's love language;
You and your partner must know each other's love languages to know the best way to give/express love to each other in a way you can both understand and receive it.
When you know your partner's love language and let him or her know yours, it will help to reduce relationship problems between you both.
Understanding each other's love languages will help you to know how to handle each other when conflict arises between the two of you; you will both know how to go about it to settle the dispute.
Knowing each other's love languages will promote love and unity in your relationship, and help you to build a strong relationship bond together.
When you know each other's love languages, you will know how to calm each other down when you are both angry or one of you is angry.
Blessing
Blessing,
How she will always add her smile to every moment. How she always shows genuine interest in people, I admire her approach toward life issues and her strong sense of humour.
I have consciously and unconsciously learned from her. Honestly, Blessing has inspired a change in me. Yes! I have admired her personality.
Travelling roads with her is a blessing I want to enjoy every day. This, I'd tell her about the event.
Believe me, when I say some friends are golden!
But, today, I saw Blessing in a different mood, her expression was not one to inspire confidence.
Something seem different from the way she talked today. she spoke in the past tense - She spoke about her family with tenderness and sparkle in her eyes, the love and comfort her family brings her, the lessons and everything her father taught her - her father, as she said, was a custodian of truth.
While I listened carefully to her storytelling, I could hear her voice crack in between words, making my heart beat fast.
I couldn't garner the courage to question why she is speaking in the language of the ancient - I feared my asking her would open up more wounds.
How much I wanted to say sorry because now, it seems obvious that something had happened to her family. But I remained resolute with my speech. I guess because I've been a model of courtesy and propriety.
But she saved me the stress of asking; she let out the dreaded words! Her parent and two siblings died in an auto crash after they dropped her at the university during her year 1 first semester. She said, it was today, three years ago - she revisited memories.
While we sat on the bench in the department awaiting our next lecture, I lacked what more to say. I searched heavily for words to express how deeply am sorry for her loss, but words, indeed, failed me!
" How did you manage to do this? How do you show up strong, beautiful, all happy and smiling, energising, regardless? How did you pull through? I mean, you don't look like any of what you've been through. How? How?... Were all the words poured out of my mind with teary eyes?
In her words...
" I have a message I need to gift my world. There are some destines God has entrusted me to handle. I cannot afford to disappoint God. I don't want to let down those that look up to me to correct their lives. It will be too costly.
That's why I don't want to look like what I have been through. I need to show up strong for these destines so they don't wallow in darkness, so they don't miss their steps, so they don't make grave mistakes, so they can discover themselves and help generations coming under them out. I don't just want to speak it, I want to live it!
And, in situations where it seems my well of strength is draining, I run back to He who had sent me to refill it.
Good friend, I hope you discover that you were created for a purpose and until you found out about yourself, and recognize your potential, you cannot be valued because you aren't living your purpose.
It is a must for anyone who wants to live a purposeful life". She concludes.
As those grateful tears rolled down my cheeks. I said to her.
"Again, thank you for admitting me realise this fact about myself why I survive, the message I hold, about life and all it comprises. Thank you".
Dear Reader,
Can we connect more, what's your gift to the world you've been called to?
How do you intend to reach them?
A message to the heartbroken Lady
A Message To The Heartbroken Lady
Dear Lady,
I need you to realize that a broken connection does not mean that your end has come. I know that you have put all your best into that relationship to make it work out, but still not going the way you want it to be, and at the end of everything, he still broke up with you.
Have you ever thought that God might be saving you from a danger that is ahead of you in the future? Many times, we are always blinded with love to see some things that might endanger our lives or cost us a lot.
When God opens your inner eyes to some things then you will know how grateful you should be and realize that truly you do not deserve to be in that relationship, but instead, you deserve to be in the best relationship with the best man.
I have seen a case where a man broke up with a lady and went ahead to marry someone else, and a few years after the marriage, he died in a car accident while the lady whom he broke up with is still in her marriage up till now. What if they both end up in marriage, won't the lady be a widow by now? Sometimes this kind of thing might just happen just for your good.
If a man breaks up with you, that doesn't mean that you will remain single for life or that you won't find someone else that is much better than him. I do tell ladies who come to me for advice that for the relationship to have ended, it means that God is involved in it and also it means that the best for your life is yet to come.
Dear lady, there's best and there is still best. No man that deserves you will ever leave you. If he is meant for you, then he is meant to stay with you. Not minding your challenging times, the health issues you might be having, whether you are still beautiful as before or not, if he has true love for you he will surely stay.
Enough of seeing you soaking your pillow with tears always when a man breaks up with you; I know that it is not easy but you just have to be strong. You are a queen that deserves to be treated specially and not to be maltreated by just any man, and for that to be achieved, you deserve a real king (responsible man). An ordinary man doesn't deserve a queen like you, but a real man!
Stop forcing any relationship to work out. when you keep on forcing it and the foundation of that relationship is not solid, in the long run, you will be the one to suffer for it. When you keep on enduring during courtship, for how many years would you have to endure such a man in marriage?
A man that loves and cares for you will never treat you as a nonentity or as if you do not exist.
A man that loves you will keep to his promise and will find a million ways to prove his love for you or convince you that he truly loves you.
A man that truly loves you will never pretend to be in love with you when he is out of love.
A man that truly loves you will never break your heart or be playing with it like a toy because you really meant a lot to him and also because he knows your worth.
A man that truly loves you will respect you and your feelings.
A man that truly loves you will always be there for you even when it is not convenient for him.
Do not allow any man to create any fear in you that you will never find someone like him, is he your creator?
It is time you brace yourself up as the queen that you are and get yourself prepared for the real man that is on your way.
May you never miss it maritally!
Common Reasons for relationships breakup
Common Reasons For Relationships Breakup
There are many reasons why breakups do occur in some relationships; some of which are listed below;
Poor Communication Skills:-
Regular communication between two partners will boost a healthy relationship but when the two people involved in a relationship make their communication poor by not communicating frequently with each other or do not even communicate at all, it can make their relationship boring and also cause distance between them and at the end, this can lead to their breakup when they see no reason why they should continue in such a boring relationship.
Differences Between Partners:-
Incompatibility between two partners can lead to their breakup. Unable to be on the same page when making some important decisions e.g when to get married, when to have kids, where to live after the wedding, their expectations in marriage, what their goals should be, and how to achieve them can be another reason for a breakup in a relationship.
Excessive Jealousy:-
A breakup can occur in a relationship if one of the partners gets too jealous and the excessive jealousy makes him or her feel insecure about the other person, suspect him or her wrongly, and monitor or question his or her partner's movement. The jealous partner or the other partner might be the one to end the relationship.
Unrealistic Expectations:-
When you expect too much from your partner, expect him or her to be hundred percent perfect with no flaws. Setting unrealistic standards for your partner and comparing him or her to other people (maybe your ex) and expecting him or her to be like that person can lead to a breakup in a relationship, especially when your partner cannot meet up with your unrealistic expectations/standards or he or she gets frustrated by them.
Being In The Relationship For The Wrong Reason:-
Some wrong reasons for going into a relationship might be because you want to satisfy your financial needs, stay away from pressure from friends and members of the family or put an end to your loneliness. When you go into a relationship for one of the wrong reasons, it could lead to your relationship breakup.
Unforgiveness:-
It is a normal thing for your partner to offend you. Sometimes, he or she will hurt your feelings and make you feel bad but when you find it hard to forgive the person and forget what he or she did to you, it can lead to an unhealthy relationship which will eventually lead to a breakup.
Lack Of Emotional Connection:-
One of the things that lead to a healthy relationship is an emotional connection between relationship partners. An emotional connection can be built when you and your partner get to know each other more, create time for each other, and share your mind.
A lack of emotional connection between the partners can lead to a breakup.
Infidelity:-
This is one of the extensively common explanations for breakup. There can be a break-up in the relationship when one of the partners is unfaithful to the other person and acts wayward.
Frequent Arguments/Fights:-
When the two partners argue always and always defend their right (not accepting blames). Also, frequent fights/conflicts between them without the ability to deal with them can lead to their breakup.
Money Issues:-
Money issues can also be a contributing factor to a breakup. Mismanaging and misuse of finances by one of them, unable to be on the same page in terms of money spending, money saving, and hiding secret savings from each other can also lead to a breakup of the relationship.
Toxic Abusive Behavior:-
Physical or emotional abuse from a toxic partner can lead to a breakup with the other person. The person that has been abused by the abuser can decide to leave the relationship when he or she cannot tolerate the victimization, beatings, or threats from the toxic partner again.
Selfishness:-
Thinking only about yourself in a relationship can lead to a breakup.
Also, when you expect or want to always be the only one at the receiving end and are not ready to give in your relationship, it can lead to the end of the relationship; especially, when the one at the losing end realizes that he or she does not benefit from the relationship and decides to end it.
Do Not Waste Away, Find Something To Do
Do Not Waste Away, Find Something To Do!
This topic reminded me of a man who was a farmer. He is the type that loves idleness and always procrastinates. He refused to cultivate his land and plant on it while other farmers were busy working. He always came up with different excuses each day why he cannot start his cultivation and planting at that time.
Today, it is either he gave an excuse that he wanted to wait for the right time to do that; or that he still had more time to achieve his aim. Tomorrow, the excuse might be that the ground is too hard to till, so he will want to wait till it rains before he does that. The day after tomorrow, he might come up with an excuse that it is too sunny and he cannot work under the sun. On other days, he might say that he is not feeling too well.
He kept on complaining while he sat down doing nothing and kept procrastinating. This kept going on for some months, till other farmers were through with their plantings. The time of harvest came, famine came to the land, and he has nothing to eat. His friends, on the other hand, have harvested their crops and now have food to eat for the period of the famine, even in excess that will sustain them after the famine.
He went to them for help, but no one was ready to help him. They told him to go to his farmland and start working as they did and in a few months, he will also have something to eat. It was at that time, that he regretted his actions. He realized how much of his time he had wasted doing nothing and the consequences of his actions in the end.
He said to himself "Had I known this will be the consequences of my actions, I would have acted fast and worked while others were working".
When you do not get yourself busy with something, you can waste away in the process. The particular time you can start building for your future is, now! Not tomorrow. Today will determine what your future would be, your future starts from this moment.
Some of the things that can stop you from finding things to do and also wasting away are idleness and procrastination.
Idleness is when you keep wasting time and doing nothing while procrastination is when you keep postponing or delaying something you should do or would like to do and also keep wasting time on it. Idleness and procrastination both deal with time and they are both enemies of progress.
When you stay idle and procrastinate always, you are already wasting time you could have used to invest in something or achieve something better. A time that has been wasted can never be regained back, it is gone forever.
To find yourself something to do, you need to find your purpose, draw out your plans, and be prepared to make the best use of each day to fulfil them. Learn new things to make you better in your personal life and your chosen career, and engage yourself in some other things that can help you to contribute to life positively.
If you do not act now, you might not be able to achieve those goals of yours again. It is not until you have something big that you can achieve your plans and fulfil your purpose in life. You can make use of the little things you have, such as your resources, your talent, and your determination to achieve them. Through persistence and hard work, you will make your dreams big.
Ensure you act now! Time waits for nobody. The future is already in your hands. Do not permit idleness and procrastination to deprive you of doing that. There is no perfect time to act on those plans of yours. The perfect time to fulfil those plans and purposes of yours is, NOW!
Find yourself something to do!
Tips for a healthy marriage
TIPS FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE
Peace, joy, love, and happiness thrive well in a healthy marriage. A healthy marriage also helps in promoting and maintaining good health, unlike an unhealthy marriage that can cause damage to one's health.
Everyone desires to have a healthy marriage; No one wishes to have an unhealthy marriage.
However, it takes intentionality and hard work to have a healthy marriage.
In this writeup, I will be sharing some tips that could be of help to you in maintaining a healthy marriage;
Love:- The number one tip for a healthy marriage is love. To have a healthy marriage, you must love each other and always promote love in your home. Love is one of the balanced diets your marriage needs to be healthy. Hatred will thrive where there is no love.
Understanding:- The second tip is for you and your partner to understand each other. Know each other's thoughts, reasoning, behavioural patterns, and intentions. Understand each other's strengths and weaknesses, and so on. Failure to understand your partner will cause you to be having issues with him or her and that can be unhealthy for your relationship.
Trust:- You must always trust each other. You should not leave any single room for doubt between yourselves. Trust is one of the essential elements of a healthy marriage. A marriage with no trust is a walking dead and can lessen the quality of your relationship.
Communication:- Frequent communication is another tip for a healthy marriage. Communicate daily, always have important discussions, and ask yourselves questions to know more about each other. If you do not communicate your mind to your partner, you should not expect him or her to understand how you feel.
Avoid Comparison:- Do not at any time compare your partner to anyone else. Comparing your partner to another man or woman that you wish they were like or better than them, could make them feel less of themselves and this can make them start acting strangely in marriage.
Appreciate And Compliment Each Other:- No one does not love to be appreciated. Appreciating your partner's efforts, support, care, concern, or whatever he or she does is a way you can have a healthy marriage. When you appreciate your partner, he or she will be encouraged to do more.
Commitment: Another tip for a healthy marriage is to be 100% committed to your marriage. Be intentional about it and ensure that you commit your all to it. When you do not commit to your marriage, you are already building an unhealthy relationship.
Create time for each other:- Time is another tip for a healthy marriage, you must create it to make your marriage work. As husband and wife, you must have time for each other no matter how busy you are. Having time for each other helps you to know each other more, get closer, grow stronger, and build strong friendship and intimacy together
Unity:- You are not only to be united in body but also mind. Both of you must be of one mind together. Do not create any loophole between you for an outsider to penetrate in. If the bond and the unity you both share are strong, it will be difficult for an enemy to come in between you.
Support Each Other:- To have a healthy marriage, you must support each other to grow. Does your partner have a particular interest or passion in something? You must support him or her. When your partner grows, you are also the one growing. His or her success is also your success.
Patience:- Being patient with each other in marriage is another tip for a healthy marriage. Sometimes, your partner will annoy and frustrate you but you must have the ability to control your temper so as not to say hurtful words to him or her in anger. You must also be patient to be able to listen to what your partner tells you.
Respect Each Other:- Giving each other the respect you both deserve also helps in building a healthy marriage. Getting married and getting into each other should not mean you should put respect aside. You as a woman should give respect to your husband, men love respect and as the husband, you should not disrespect your wife, accord her some respect that she also deserves.
Working on these tips is a sure way to have a healthy marriage.
Celebrate Yourself
Sometimes the motivation we seek won't be forthcoming.
Maybe we need someone to say a thing or two to us so we can just keep moving. I have learnt that over the years what we so much seek to have doesn't come to us when we need it the most.
You just have to source for it yourself. You just have to motivate yourself if the motivation you so desire isn't coming through.
Don't wait for any motivation before you start something or motivation to keep doing what you're doing.
How I allowed a rare opportunity slipped away.
Have you ever lost an opportunity to get better?
How did you feel?
Why did you lose it?
Have you ever denied yourself something important?
Read this and learn.
That Thursday afternoon, I could vividly remember that some corners came to my school and went down straight to my principal's office.
Shortly, after they entered, I and some other of my classmates were called into the office and our principal asked us to prepare for a debate session in two hours that will be anchored by the corp members that came visiting.
The title for the debate was "Day school is better than boarding school". You know how this thing works right?
I thought of who to represent my class, so we could challenge the science student and win but my friend said almost immediately Agatha, we are representing our class, right?
And I replied,"NO". She asked to know what was my reason for saying No but I didn't reply, I just told her I was not interested.
Eventually, she left me and asked one of my classmates to join her. I gave both of them some ideas to add to theirs and afterwards we won.
At that point, I was happy we won and at the same time, I felt bad for not participating. My friend was given a pair of shoes and the sum of eight thousand nairas while the other was given a T shirt.
That night, at home I cried out my eyes and was so disappointed in myself.
From that day, I vowed to always give myself the chance to try and stop denying myself. Maybe, if I had allowed myself to participate, I would have been given a pair of shoes ( I thought of that)
I hid under my negative shell and ended up wallowing in the mediocrity of self-pity. Only GOD and those that have allowed opportunities like this to slip away from their hands can understand how I felt that day.
Chances like this are rare, be careful not to lose them, my experience taught me a lesson. Learn to seriously believe in yourself that was what my friend did.
Give yourself the chance to explore. Stop denying yourself. Failure is not the end of life, don't be scared of failing, it shouldn't stop you like mine did that day.
Give yourself the chance and get better so that you won't say GOD When! whenever you see your mates making it.
Read this to avoid being a victim of delayed goal getting because of a poor mindset.
I have always wanted to become a writer for a long time. The novels I read when I was a child made me believe that I too have a message to pass across for people to also read.
But, this mindset I harboured deprived me of becoming one. This poor mindset denied me of achieving that goal I have always wanted to get.
The viewpoint is that we already have many writers, me enlisting the numbers won't make any distinction.
This made me remember what someone told me. He said, "E be like say everybody don turn writer, who go con read?"
As funny as this sounds, writers are never enough. What I mean is, that we can never say that writers are too many because they're many yet unborn.
My point exactly
Because many writers have emerged doesn't mean you can't be one and do your thing differently. You are unique in your way.
We might have the same idea but would hit it differently because we all have different ways we see this. The truth is, we are all writers whether you like it or not.
From the chats you make
To the comments to make under people's post. Regarding the status, you always update on WhatsApp
We are all writing.
Dear you
You have a message to pass across. It's in you. Your world is waiting to hear it. You shouldn't deprive them of that. Many jobs can fail, but you see Writing, it is here to stay.
We are irreplaceable.
Celebrate yourself.
We will be many.
In pain, find purpose
IN PAIN, FIND PURPOSE
If your pains can not birth purpose, the pains were wasted. Every wound has a tale to notify.
Now, the effect and aftermath of this story/experience in the life of the scar bearer are dependent on the bearer. The story could serve as a challenge to step up or as an agent of depression.
Pains can teach a person who is sensible enough to know that he/she needs to learn from it. There is always something to learn.
I remember being on social media a particular day when I stumbled on a video ministration of Minister Dunsin Oyekan. He narrated how he felt deep pain when he had lost his wife in 2019, but rather than stay depressed, he got to understand by way of the spirit of God that his pain ought to have been channelled rightly, and so regardless of whatever pain he was feeling, he found purpose in the pain.
I've seen pain, I've gone through a phase of it. The pain of losing my Dad still hurts till now, and this is so because of the kind of bond we shared, we were best of friends. Upon his demise, I was so pissed that I had said I wasn't going to strive to be the best anymore, I would just maintain average performance.
Then I came to understand that my pains were being channelled wrongly. Lamenting and sulking in pain would do no good. Waking up to, and facing the reality head-on would do me much good. The moment I resolved to channel the pain rightly, the fire rekindled, and it was more fierce, still is. My willingness to become the best version of myself tripled.
Desire is what sponsors hard work, and hard work is a major determinant of the degree and extent to which your goals would travel.
Channel that pain rightly.
If your pain is not a source of improvement, then you need a rethink and re-evaluation.
In that pain, see the need for a better YOU, an advanced YOU and a successful YOU.
In pain, find a reason to live better, find a reason to grow above the current you, find PURPOSE and LIVE IT.
PURPOSE is principal to the establishment of man. I pray God helps us not to waste or be brought down by pain. Instead, we would learn to use it rightly.
SUGGESTIONS ARE NOT SOLUTIONS.
That it was suggested to you does not mean the problem has been solved.
Suggestions are suggestions,
Suggestions are not solutions.
Suggestions will always remain suggestions unless something is done about them.
Suggestions would only work out when the principle and law of CONVERSION are obeyed.
The S.I unit for suggestion is ACTION.
Hence, actions birth solutions.
When people make suggestions to us, it is at our very own discretion to agree with or dispose of the suggestions.
Agreeing to the suggestion is one thing. Working or taking action on the suggestion is another thing.
Do be mindful equally of the kind of suggestions you agree to. Suggestions accepted are capable of redefining and shaping your life positively or negatively. Either way, you alone will be responsible for whatever outcome results from it.
Be slow to listen, pay close attention to all suggestions brought forth, but do not act on every suggestion.
Not all suggestions are workable or compatible with you. If you continue to take every suggestion, then suggestions will be responsible for ruling your life, and indirectly you will be controlled by those suggesting.
Hear suggestions,
But listen only to VALUABLE suggestions.
Be careful in listening and calm in acting.
Take actions to enforce the suggestions you find helpful.
A handful of those who are still where they are today is typical products of those always seeking suggestions yet never working on them. Some are products of bad suggestions who only discovered when it was rather too late or the repercussions for the actions they took - courtesy of the suggestions they received - were already before them.
Also, note that it is not in everything that you seek suggestions from others. Train yourself to be independent, if you must question, question your subconscious and a handful of suggestions will pop up.
Do not let the numerous suggestions from others rule you.
Your life and "decision-making" skills will end up lying and being dependent on them.
Equally, it is not everybody that you should receive suggestions from, as suggestions are capable of building as well as demolishing you. Have a circle of success-filled, purpose-driven and visioned persons as friends that you sought suggestions.
Keep like minds close, and seek suggestions from them when necessary. Do not allow suggestions to rule you.
And remember,
Suggestions will only remain suggestions until actions convert them to solutions.
Work on it,
Solve the problem.
Till I bring sense your way again.
Part Two of Patience makes you beautiful
PATIENCE MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL PART TWO
Some weeks after the incident, it was as if God was giving me another test.
I was going back to school, so I took a cab. As I entered the cab, the cab man insulted me all because I negotiated with him. I agreed with the amount of money he wanted to collect and entered the cab because I was running late. The man never stopped talking.
Kai! I was boiling again and I said “Holy Spirit you see now oooo”.
He said, “Calm down, don’t say anything. Take whatsoever he says off your heart”.
I attempted my nicest but it didn’t work out. I maintained my silence but the man spoiled everything the moment he dragged my family into this matter. I was furious but the woman in the cab said: “O ti to eyin naa (It’s okay now)”.
That calmed me down a little that I had people to defend me but this man did not stop talking oooo.
Ah! It wasn’t easy, the journey seemed so long. Later on, the man did something amazing but I just felt it was normal.
He carried me to the bus stop which I wasn’t expecting. I was glad but another part of me feel like talking. He stopped and I alighted from the cab and I said “Thank you”
“Whaaat! Thank you for what? Why will I utter such a statement knowing full well he hasn’t done anything but insult me and my family”.
I gave him the money and waited for my change but I was surprised when he gave me the exact change of what I have negotiated. The exact amount I wanted to pay was what he gave me. The man smiled and left. I was amazed.
“You have won a soul today. Congratulations!” I attended to it loud and apparent in my fondness.
I was like “Won bawo. I did not even preach at all”.
He excused his efforts and now he is scheduling on swerving a new leaf.
A lot of cars I was supposed to board kept passing by but I was just too happy.
“Is this how it works?”
Yes, you might have confused everything if you had spoken.
I was so delighted.
After the test, I’ve gone through a whole lot of tests but sooner or later I got used to it.
“If that is how to gain a soul then I think the OPERATION KEEP QUIET is the nicest for me”. I mumbled to myself.
So with all these stories, how does patience makes you beautiful?
Now, let’s go to the imaginary land.
Here we are.
Imagine someone offends you and you had to talk back to the person, will you smile while talking angrily?
Of course, you will not. You will surely frown your face and look like an angry dog.
Imagine you are not saying anything, you’re just looking at the person. Even if you don’t smile, you will still maintain your beautiful and handsome face. But now add your smile to it, oh my God!
You will look so beautiful and handsome. So why not take the step of being a beautiful lady and a prince charming guy?
Frowns and Fights do not suit you. Patience makes you look beautiful and classy.
From that day, I realized I’ve become more beautiful and classy than ever before.
Patience makes you look beautiful, therefore put on the whole armor of patience.
You all are beautiful. No one is ugly. God made us so how can His creature be ugly? We should proud of ourselves that he made us so beautiful and provided all features and good health.
Patience makes you beautiful
PATIENCE MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL
I’m sure you must have been wondering how patience makes you look beautiful. You want to look beautiful right? Then this I’m about to write is for you.
Stay tuned.
I was a very gentle girl but if you cross my lane I will beat you with my sharp mouth. It’s either I beat you for real (If you are not too big) or I beat you with my mouth (If you are too big, I know my level abeg.
I was an extrovert then, but at the same time, I was gentle (You get the analogy? So many people took my gentleness for granted and that was why it always resulted in beating anyone who takes me for granted.
This kept on going for a long time until one day I realized something.
What was that?
As I grew up, my guilty conscience started fighting me. Anytime I beat someone either with my mouth or hands, I always regret my actions.
This went on for so long but I couldn’t stop it even when I got determined not to insult anybody but anyone who frustrated me will not go scot-free.
So, one day as I was walking down my streets. The Holy ministered to me and said
“What do you gain whenever you fight?”
“I gain nothing but at least I would have done some thorough beating to whosoever frustrate me. I can’t just keep quiet watching everyone taking me for granted especially when they see my calm face. My calm face does not depict I’m a fool now. There are times I tried not to talk but I just don’t know how it happens after all”. I was ranting and fighting under my breath.
“Why not try the method of OPERATION KEEP QUIET?
It will help you”.
I bounced my head in pact with what He told me. But not long after the second day after hearing the OPERATION KEEP QUIET.
Whoa! I can’t tell you the full story of this, it is not something I’m proud to say. I regret my actions till now.
A woman offended me (not too old though but she’s older than me, that’s certain). She cheated on me somehow, I hate cheats (even if I was not the one she cheated with, I will fight for anyone she cheated with).
Kai! I talked on and on. Whenever the woman talked I will talk my own back. I was looking forward to the woman’s beating but alas she did not raise her hands on me. I was determined if she beats me I will keep talking, I won’t stop talking. I talked on and on, and an old woman moved toward me and told me to keep quiet.
I respected the woman and kept quiet then I started crying because I could not mutter any words again. The woman never stopped insulting me and I was also boiling in anger.
I finished what I was doing then I saw the woman outside talking and telling people what I have done. She called me different names but I went on crying because I couldn’t say anything. Then, I met with the woman she was talking to.
A woman saw me and said
“Ah! Is it this girl? Omo dada lomo yii oooo (This girl is a good girl oooo)”. She faced me and asked what happened. I narrated all that happened in tears.
She told me I know you are a good girl but you shouldn’t have explained anything even if she’s a mistake. The purpose of my tears changed from not being able to mutter some words to regretting my actions.
I begged the woman and she said “No problem” and left. I knew the woman was still angry so I was determined I would beg her again whenever I see her around.
“It was difficult, I couldn’t do it. I’m so sorry please forgive me. I am sorry, I should have given you a space in my life but I did things in my way please forgive me”. I wept bitterly.
I saw the woman again, I greeted her and apologized. She smiled and said “No problem”.
I knew she has not forgiven me from heart, I felt it. The next day, I saw her and apologized again. She looked at me and hugged me “My dear, I’ve forgiven you. I’m also sorry”.
I was so happy. But till now I still regret my actions but I’ve learned to always forgive myself.
Some weeks after the incident, it was as if God was giving me another test.
To be continued.
Age is no barrier to marriage
AGE IS NO BARRIER TO MARRIAGE!
"Thank you for the lecture ma'am" Newton retorted sadly for refusing to go on a date with him like other ladies.
Many girls could have jumped at the idea of a date with the son of a major in London. A rich spoilt brat who uses ladies to gratify his sexual appetites and dumps them.
He must be wondering what sort of lady I am, but I needed to prove to him that not all ladies scurry for rich people.
We have ladies of discipline and morality who value hard work. They don't just go for free things knowing that they don't last but believe in the dignity of labour. They labour to feed and take care of themselves not dependent on men to survive.
They raise their shoulder high because they keep their dignity as a woman. Their bodies are preserved for Mr Right and not just any Dick, Harry, and Tom.
Some call them strong women, some say they are tough and independent. But one thing is sure, they are decent and well behaved.
You can count on them not following Aristos, Sugar daddies, nor can you name them,' runs girls'.
With these thoughts flooding my heart, I shrugged off the pity party for myself. I can weather any storm, knowing that there is a time for anything.
There is a time to stay single and a time to marry. I can not be desperate because I know that I shall not lack my mate according to the wisdom and understanding of the scripture.
My mate will locate me at any time.
Age is no barrier. I shall not allow my present state to intimidate.
You can marry early if God brings him early and it can be later as He wishes. Whatever age, you marry make sure you marry right and not wrongly.
Marriage can make you or ruin you for life. I rest on His unfailing word. I have seen women that marry at age forty-three, some fifties and some sixties. Yes, you heard me right. I need my peace of mind. I reasoned.
Some are married and want to come out of it, while some are trapped in a loveless marriage. I want a good, peaceful home and not the other way round.
"Hey, Derin what's up?" Lilian my friend came to my compartment.
"Fine I guess "
"What's the problem with you? You don't look fine at all."
"It's a little thing that happened and I am okay now!" I retorted firmly.
"Alright, girlfriend. One guy called Isaac, came looking for you. Is he your Mr Right?"
If only Lilian knows that I lost my peace earlier on because of the man I thought was going to be my man forever. Not knowing that he had been frolicking with Sophia and she is carrying his baby. Oops, poor me.
Life goes on, irrespective of his unfaithfulness. I think I must have overrated the guy, and he has proved that he is no better. Anyway, I am learning how not to depend on anyone but God.
"Derin, what's up with you? You are lost in thought again?"
"Lilian have you ever been disheartened earlier in a relationship?"
"Hahaha, so it's about Isaac then. He came in looking troubled and you are unsettled either. Better take it easy with men."
"Are all men the same?"
Exactly yes, I have been misled three times and I abstained on men, Lilian said.
We have good enthusiastic men out there and I will meet one very soon. I asserted in belief irrespective of the alley I was thinking.
Sometimes you have to drown the voice of the devil.
Then a common voice asserted, " You've established one already ". We both whirled in the way of the already.
It is repulsive that most women have to suffer such indecent and inhumane behaviour from people around us; people we even call our "dear" ones are the same people who inflict pain on us. As a woman, you face critics from religion, spouses, and society, and painfully, we are judged by our gender.
A crime is committed by both gender and the reason for the conflict is the woman.The same crimes by men are easily trashed and covered by society, but when it comes to a woman our tongues become thorns ready to devour, and then you are faced with religious condemnation and the society which was never there... What wrong have we committed to being called "women"?
In the area of marriage, every problem is from the woman. No child then she is barren. Beaten and molested, it is her fault. Some would say, she must have said some offensive words to warrant such beating! If she was raped then it's the kind of clothing. Just so you know well-dressed women are also victims of rape.Let's be more realistic, newborns, I mean infants who are sexually abused, will you say they weren't properly dressed? I'm not saying dressing isn't part of it but matters like this should not be blamed solely on women.
Woah!, when I think of this factor, I feel nauseous, God! Being condemned by your gender when they could also be a victim. Some time ago, I happened to be going through some writings, I saw something. A girl was constantly abused by her stepfather and the mother got to find out. She got into a state of dilemma and as a result of her indecisiveness, she decided to seek advice from friends.One of her advisors said it's nothing but normal, if she likes she should leave her marriage her husband will marry her daughter. Another said, she isn't his biological daughter and accused the girl of seducing her father, disregarding the feeling of the abused stepdaughter.
Please this should stop, we deserve to be treated fairly and equally.What wouldn't be tolerated by this gender shouldn't be tolerated by the other. It isn't a violation to be a woman.
@Nehamaya