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@Murakamii.7 more from that month

Of itchy throat and dry cough June 20, 2022 This is probably the worst day of my life. With my itchy throat and hard cough, I can't imagine the next hours of my life. I hate it. I don't know how exactly I acquired the virus. All I can remember is that my throat hurts for a week-long and then the hard cough and itchy throat continue until now. I have tried getting a massage in the hopes that all that I feel is because of fatigue. I have this dream that all of the things that make me suffer right now would disappear in just an instant after the massage. But I'm wrong. The itchiness persists even after the massage, even after taking two tablets intended for allergy and cough plus one syrup that could ease the pain in the throat. I just hope the hands of the clock would easily run so I can come home and cough all I want without being ashamed of the people that surround me. This feeling has made me feel vulnerable like I sob soundly even when I'm twenty-three. Imagine that. A woman who tries her best to be strong and independent at twenty-three only has an itchy throat and dry cough as her weakness. I thought I'm unbreakable. But here's the world again slapping in my face telling me that I'm no wonder woman. At night, when all the work has been said and done, I lay in peace with my tears flowing from my eyes down to my cheek. I feel like a child longing for a mom to comfort me. Sickness can cause a ripple effect of negativities and frustration. I would then question God about why and how in the world is it that I'm the one chosen to have this disease. All the unanswered prayers and dreams would also come instantly come rushing and messing up my already messy conscious thoughts. That leads to the conclusion that God isn't giving a damn about me. All these unanswered prayers plus an itchy throat and dry cough? Oh, come on! Add some more! I don't even look forward to life's silver lining. I have conditioned my mind that all the bad things would happen to me and that I would be shocked if something good happens. See that! When you are in pain, you are also dramatic. Recently, I act like I have an incurable disease like Stage 4 cancer. Maybe He lets me experience this so I would realize and value my health more. This itchy throat and dry cough are signs for me to slow down. Sometimes, I tend to ignore the manageable signs. Tricking my body that I'm fine and that I can do more. My grandma was right when she said that only the body grows old because even when you're eighty, you still ought to do a lot because your mind wants to do more. The mind never goes old and it never tires. Only the body and the soul. That being said, I encourage you to learn from my experience and check your health often. Sometimes our working habits aren't healthy anymore. This is the sign to take a breather, to binge-watch your favourite TV series and be lazy even just for a day. Many thanks for reading. Until the next read!

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