@Montcherry9

Conversation with a friend How was your day? Who? Me?  Yes, how are you feeling today? I felt empty, blank, demotivated, sad, and lonely. Well, I choose to be sad and lonely because I love to be sad and lonely because I’m familiar with them, they make me feel comfortable, they’re very faithful and never leave me alone. They kept me company, from the beginning of my life till today. But, they were just there, in silence. Something troubling you? I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what am I doing or what should I do, where do I even start? What kind of life am I living? Always not sure, always afraid, always feeling ashamed. I don’t have anything to be proud of, if I die today, there is nothing I left that is good or brings benefit to my family. Today, like another day, I am still thinking of what to do and what next. Why do I even exist? Hmmm… Did I do something wrong in my past life? Was I a bad person before? Is this some kind of punishment for something I did then? What was I then if past life did exist? Was I cursed? I do not want this to go to my family and then the next generation, so if I have to bear this now so that it won’t go to them, I will accept it. As long as it stops here, with me. (Small laugh)Do you believe in that stuff? What do you think? Whatever it is, I will not blame anyone other than myself, I guess maybe it was just me, I was just too weak and just simply doesn’t have a smart brain. Sometimes too dumb I don’t even realize I was doing something stupid.  Sounds like you are blaming yourself. This is me, this is my life, why am I feeling this way I should know, right? Sometimes I get very tired and fed up with myself. Well, most of the time. My existence and this whole life I'm living were meaningless, ridiculous, and an absolute joke!  Take it easy now. But, no matter how bad and insane life was, no matter how I tried to hide or pretend, this is my life, whether I like it or not, whether I want it or not, whether I accept it or not,  this, very unwanted life will be mine till I let go or till the day I am no more.  Easy now ok? Would you like to have something? Water? Coffee? Tea? Just coffee please, its always coffee, thank you. Wait, sorry, who are you again?  I am your best friend, well, kind of, at least to me, you are my BFF, you don’t recognize me? (Thinking)  (Smile)  Minutes later, the smell of coffee filled up the sitting area.  And the silence continued. Sorry, have you had anything? I’m kind of hungry. Are you okay if I just go out for a while and buy some noodles or bread for us?  I will be fine, you go ahead. (I know you won’t be coming back, you are just one of those people who come and go. You just come when you think I need help and do whatever that you think you should be doing. At the end of the day, everyone left. I’m not mad or upset, I’m okay with that. I prefer to be left alone. I still have my coffee and my mind, nobody can take that away from me.)

I was just scrolling thru my post here in noise.app and also read my friends post, ok suddenly it popped up in my head, did I set up password for noise.app? I can’t remember i did that, so how if i accidentally logged out from here, how do i log in then? And I really want to delete the picture i post yesterday, yes, the pink lotus, i love them petals only, you notice the part in the middle? Yes, that one, the more I look at it, the more creepier it became and it make me want to puke. What is going on with my mind. Maybe I should just go for walk a bit outside and come back later. BFN

I took photo of flowers, trees, view or anything that is interesting to me, and end up having almost 15k pictures in my phone. Whenever I’m free I will go back and rearrange and delete some. Sometimes I ask myself what am I doing and with all this extra work added? Is it wort it?

By the way, I just want to say big thank you to whoever send/donate BCH to me earlier. Whoever you are, Thank you. 🙏🏻

What do we call a photo hoarders?🤭 I have more in my 3 thumb-drives..Happy weekend to all.

Love the smell of this shampoo and conditioner with Manuka Honey. A friend bought it from UK and gv me. Thank you my lovely friend.💖

Hello 1st day in Noise.App, 10/9/22 Saturday. Thank you for a beautiful day!💖

My first article; The start off I do not know where to start actually. Besides reading, I have been fond of writing since I was just a kid. But I was either distracted by something else, my life situation or circumstances, or myself. I have ‘written’ uncountable articles in my mind but not in reality. Often I did my writing in my mind while I am on something; house chores, work, babysitting, traveling, sometimes while I was mending my broken heart, sometimes while I was upset, like when I saw something not right, so I plan to write everything that happened from A-Z and send it to whoever it may concern, complete with how, who, where, when and what and how it's supposed to be handled. Or when I stumbled upon a beautiful place and not many are aware of its existence and I felt I should write and share about it. How clean the air there, how cold and clear the water at the stream, and the fresh smell of the grass and earth, the magnificent view. Then later change my mind because I thought of the consequences of sharing it with the public, the beautiful place will become impure and polluted with trash such as plastics by irresponsible visitors. There are times when I am in a very good mood and ideas flow like a river, I believe I managed to write some decent article content. I can write just about anything. At times I feel proud of my imaginary articles, other times I feel useless. Not that I never try to write on paper or notebook. I have tons of A4 papers and notebooks, most of them empty (Yes, I collect/bought most of the notebooks and diaries but end up not using them, another reason was, they are too pretty to write on). I tried to jot down what was in my mind onto paper, but often not satisfied with the result and I end up putting a correction fluid on it or tearing the page away, if I was using a pencil I would erase it, like thousand times and end up feeling tired and disappointed. So back to my imaginary notebook it goes. Yes, I agree with you if you say, well, if you want it and you say you love writing, nothing can stop you, and should already have some written articles as proof. I told that to myself millions of times too. Funny isn’t it? Just like filling up a bucket of water, when it is full, water will flow over the bucket edge, and for the water to not spill all over and wet the whole place. I must get up and turn off the water tap now. So I told myself, firmly. Just do it, doesn’t matter if it sounds weird or not good enough. And yes, you are correct again, I fear that my writing will not be good enough, I fear people will laugh at it because my English is not as good due to not having enough or proper education, I fear that I do not even have the talent or ability to write a good story or article. I doubt it myself. Honestly, it was easier and lots of freedom when I write and express my feelings in my mind. There is no fear in there. Long story short, someone shared in one of the telegram groups about NoiseCash, I was head over heel when I come to know about this platform. Being me and honestly, ‘the platform that pays for your sharing and opinions’ attracts me. Because at that moment, I was looking for something that I can do part-time and earn at the same time. Life. Sigh. I know very little about bitcoin. And to tell you the truth, I only knew BCH when I joined NoiseCash. I learn so much about BCH from the sharing in NoiseCash. I wish I can remember who invited me so I can thank him/her. And then from NoiseCash, I found ReadCash. Just like Noise Cash, my eyes go straight to the ‘it pays for your writing’ thingy. But, while I was in there and as I was reading one article after another, it just hit me! This is what I want to do, writes! Not just merely because we get paid. But the joy of reading and writing, sharing our thoughts and experiences, is just so fulfilling! And by reading other people's articles I also gained a lot of knowledge especially in improving myself. I read articles from professional and amateur writers, I enjoyed reading their articles and felt encouraged to be brave to start my own. And here I am. Taking my first step. I am forever grateful for NoiseCash and ReadCash. Thank you. I will share more in the upcoming article, I appreciate your opinions/constructive feedback. And thank you so much for your time.

Happy Monday! Let's work out and stay fit!

It's good to read so many interesting post here. I really enjoyed my time here and hope to learn more.

Big thank you to my 1st two subscriber on my 1st day. I really appreciate you and it's mean a lot to me. Thank you once again.

1st day and learning. Hello NoiseCash and everyone. Nice to know you.