Perpetual negative, ¿constantly complaining? This is for you.
Something negative happens to all of us at least once a day, although there are also "those people", who have never had a good day, bad things happen to them constantly, even if they are not bad at all, no matter how small those things are, for them it is always a negative day. there are also those people who have thousands of problems and can never solve them, and are happy to be able to tell someone about them.
Those people who constantly complain about everything and are never satisfied are called "perpetual negatives", people who, for some reason or another, always seem to have a negative outlook on their lives, experiences and the world around them. The way they drain the energy out of a room and seemingly cannot allow a cheerful conversation to stay that way.
The perpetually negative person usually puts everyone else in an uncomfortable position as they are not bad people. Whether they are friends or family, we may feel silly that what they are saying is bothering us.
But that same complaining at every turn can make us lose interest in wanting to talk to the perpetually negative person. which then makes us feel bad. it can seem like an unwinnable situation in any sense of the positive.
***¿Can we benefit from interacting with perpetually negative people?***
In a world outside of reality, it would be easy to eliminate any negativity that plagues us, so it would not be a problem to worry about being sucked into the miserable lives they lead on a daily basis.
Although in reality it sadly does not work that way, in the real world, it is not always possible, the perpetual negative may be that friend or neighbour we see on a daily basis that we cannot avoid, however, if done well, we can use that negativity to benefit our personal growth.
constantly interacting with a perpetual negative person makes us look closely at the seemingly unresolved problems they possess, we can try to solve those problems, you may never share your solution with them (in fact, they may be upset if you do), but using this strategy can help us develop future problem-solving tools.
It may even help us to confront future problems more calmly, since being constantly exposed to these kinds of situations can give us certain skills, which later on can also be of use in the job market where people who can help with problem solving are so much in demand.
So, having said that, we can say that there are benefits even from other people's negativity, so if you have a friend who lives in this constant reality, make the best of that negativity and perfect your resolution and confrontation skills.
***Reflection***
Listening to other people's complaints can help us with our own challenges. If a perpetually negative person complains about any situation, learn to reflect on how they react and think about how we would react if we were in a similar situation. Would you complain too? Would you jump into problem solving? Would you eat some chocolate and deal with it later? It is also excellent to reflect on whether we are talking to others in the right way and not coming across as a prepetual negative person, often the way we refer to our daily experiences are what define us as to how we see the world, as the way we are expressing ourselves is the way we are feeling (Perception).
I have a friend who tends to be perpetually negative who started complaining about his physical appearance. That his hair doesn't grow long enough and he's starting to get white hair. My hair has also been a bit scary as it has started to fall out (I have told my partner on a few occasions), upon hearing him complain and seeing the reactions of others, I contacted my girlfriend to find out what her thoughts were about me in regards to my complaining.
A side effect of interacting with a perceptually negative person is that we may begin to misperceive all of their responses as exaggerated, even though sometimes they may be responding appropriately.
We must learn to take the time to reflect on our reactions and whether they are proportionate to the situations we are going through at the time.
It is normal for perpetually negative people to often cause feelings of frustration, irritation, anger or sadness in those they are in direct contact with on a daily basis. You can use these moments to practice emotional regulation or the use of skills that encourage the reduction or amelioration of an emotion as needed. Example. Breathing exercises to calm down when you are angry or distract yourself when you are upset by focusing on something else.
There are different ways to improve our emotional regulation skills, being able to make use of them in times of stress will help us to deal better with any situation that requires us to be calm.
Of course, when deciding how to interact with someone who may be perpetually negative, it is important to consider other possibilities. Sometimes, a person who is struggling with depression can seem like a perpetual negative.
But unless you are very close to the person, it may not be possible to identify which camp they are in. Therefore, regardless of how you interact (or not) with them, always try to act with compassion.
However, at the end of the day, you can only work to maintain your own mental health; you cannot do the work for others. And mental health struggles are not a get-out-of-jail-free card to behave without consequences.
Therefore, never feel compelled to endure perpetual denial to the detriment of your own health, just because it might be due to a neurochemical imbalance.
So, ¿what happens if you're reading this story and you've realised that "oh no, that's me"? Don't worry, there is a solution!
We must do our part if we really want to get out of the situation in which we find ourselves, learning to be more reflective people will help us to make better decisions, to think more clearly and not drown in a glass of water, keeping a clearer and more balanced vision. Nobody expects us to be always cheerful (that wouldn't be great either), but neither should we always be so negative.
We all have friends, but when do we really need those close friends? Well when we go into perpetual negative mode, we should consider calling that friend and start a conversation, one that will help us get out of that moment of negativity and lead us to a much calmer and balanced one, friends are often that plus that we need to be able to accept something, also to have another point of view, comment on what is happening to us can also be a good idea to release that stressor that keeps us in negativity.
You may even want to set up a phrase to use to subtly let you know when you are in public without being explicit. This might also help if you are worried that being called out might make you defensive.
For example, among several of my friends, we will say something like, "take it down a notch," when someone is being too harsh or sarcastic. The phrase indicates that someone is going too far and may need to lighten up a bit.
It has the advantage of getting the message across without forcing anyone to be the "bad guy" by calling someone negative. Find a phrase or term that works for you.
Before you address any problem or event, take a minute to reflect on the situation. What exactly are you feeling and why? Does the situation warrant the level of emotion you are feeling? Or is your reaction actually due to something else and you are taking it out on this situation?
***¿If someone else said the same thing to you, would you think they were coming on a little too strong?***
This trick can be incredibly challenging to do when you're in the heat of the moment, so the sooner you realise you're slipping into negative mode, the more likely you'll be able to stop and reflect on it.
Often, perpetually negative thoughts are caused by biased thought processes that can cause us to do things such as:
seeing things in black and white, focusing on negative information without considering positive information, catastrophising (magnifying the impact of a mistake), magnifying the severity of events, or dismissing positive events as unimportant, coincidental or due to unrelated invalidating factors.
Cognitive restructuring is a therapeutic technique found in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) that can help reframe negatively biased thoughts.
In cognitive restructuring, people are taught how to check the accuracy of their thoughts rather than automatically believing and reacting to them.
Many strategies can be used to address perpetual negative views. Some examples include:
Becoming aware of their thoughts to identify inaccurate thoughts.
Questioning your problematic thoughts to determine if there is any evidence that it is realistic or based on facts or feelings.
Recording problematic thoughts, the emotions behind them, the behaviours surrounding them and possible alternative thoughts you could focus on instead.
These strategies can be done on your own or with the help of a therapist. Over time, you can retrain your brain so that "negative" is no longer the default mode.
that's all for today, dear readers I wish you a happy day and have a great positive day take care.
Teamwork makes it all easier / drip tubing
Sowing is not always as easy as many people think, not everything is machines, there are things that we can do ourselves without using heavy machinery. Today I was with some family and friends implementing a drip irrigation system, this system is mostly used in arid places like the one we are going to use.
In this case it is going to be placed between a corn, which is about 2 and a half months old. Although I am still inexperienced in all this, my uncles have more experience in this area, they know the procedure to follow and I will only help in everything that is indicated to me, this installation has a water pump that can provide good water pressure, followed by a system of hoses that are going to be placed between the corn bushes, in order to be able to irrigate through holes in the hose.
This system is effective, according to my uncles it is a little slow but sure, what is expected is that this drip manages to reach the stalk of the corn bushes, without removing the soil or causing any damage to the bush, little by little it will wet everything moistening the soil and allowing the bush to take every particle of water that is vital for it and its development.
as all work is always a little complicated, the most stormy thing is to open hole after hole in the whole hose, this procedure lasts at least several hours of the day, because it must be done slowly and take a perfect measurement between hole and hole, the distance between them must be the same as between the bushes of corn.
These moments also become a bit of fun, the people started to tell stories of experiences and stories of events that have caused some impression, making the time a bit entertaining and less stormy, although it takes a lot of concentration and perfect timing to not have to do everything again.
cleaning is also important everywhere if you want to keep the place free of insects and other pests, cleaning with a machete, we chopped more than 800 meters although it seems little, doing it with a machete is not so easy, although we were several people, it took us more than 10 hours to clean the whole place, the purpose of all this is to be able to sow again suitable grass for the cattle and the grass that has been removed will be given to the sheep.
on the farm nothing is wasted, everything has a reason, if you want to have a good administration on the farm it is important to know how to manage well, in our case, we know how to use the different resources that are at hand and we manage to maintain a good balance, with healthy and well fed animals and also expand the different places around the place, cleaning these places not only expand the panorama but also we make animals like snakes leave to look for other places, thus avoiding safe confrontations between humans and snakes.
Working as a team guarantees a better performance among the whole team, my uncles and some friends know how to make clean cuts and thus avoid wasting time. The bad thing is the weather, the heat is very strong and the sun is terrible, it seems that we are in arabia, haha it's just sarcasm, the truth is that it is not easy to clean in places like this that lacks shade and the weather is totally humid.
There are always disadvantages when doing work in this way, the human resource is limited because unlike machines we humans get tired easily and we also get hurt by almost anything, so you have to be extremely careful. One of my cousins had a little mishap when he threw his machete too hard at a tree branch which had some bees on it and ended up stinging some bees. The man had to be taken to the doctor and had to be given emergency treatment.
It takes time and a lot of effort because the whole process is done by hand and has to be done by several people. Today more than ever I think that if you really want something you do everything in your power to achieve your goal.
Having a finca is something sensational, a place where you can go and drain all the stress of the city is true but it is also important to know that it is not so easy, you must dedicate time and constancy to be able to maintain a beautiful and prolific finca or at least that happens in our finca, we all dedicate time and sweat with the aim of keeping everything in perfect condition.
Every year the fence of the whole farm has to be repaired, whether it is because the cattle have broken a stick or because a branch of a tree has destroyed a fence, anything can happen and that is why it is important to inspect the whole place looking for something that is damaged.
Constancy has a lot to do here, we are aware that without that love for all this nothing can be possible, you have to really want and above all have the desire to want to do everything with the best disposition, because this work needs a lot of brute force and not everyone has the physical ability to open a hole 2 meters deep to place a stake and then close and leave firm. It's an exhaustive process and it's a process that will aggravate anyone.
***"It is not easy to open a hole, your hands end up with huge blisters and the pain is unbearable, your shoulders get tired and after several hours you start to feel the fatigue of so much effort".***
After such an exhausting day all you want to do is sleep, rest and think about the next day. Of course, not every day is this hard, some days are a little softer and others are worse than today, so it all depends on what you are going to do that day.
After a busy day and an enormous tiredness, there is nothing like a good cup of coffee. Every "llanero" knows that coffee is the drink that is drunk most of the day, for us it is like the substance that revitalizes and fills us with pure energy.
Thinking about all that has been achieved that day and also already planning what will be done the next day, we all get together and while drinking coffee in the afternoon we talk about everything that has been done and what will be done the next day. Among so many things, coffee time is the most respected, whenever it is 3 pm automatically everyone takes a 30 min break and goes home to have coffee, doing this every day as a routine that has been instilled from a very young age.
it's not only the coffee, it's also the animals, looking for my horse and bathing him to check that he is not sick and then feeding him is one of the routines that i like the most, the connection that exists between me and the animal is mutual.
From a very young age I had to look after him and feed him, as his mother didn't want him, of course today he is a very beautiful animal, but it doesn't mean that everything was difficult for this animal who had a very hard time from birth.
although the connection between an animal and a human is very rare, between RIo and me it is unique, i can connect with him and know when he is well or when he is stressed, the connection is so strong that i can understand what the horse is trying to tell me by making movements with his head.
my uncles think it is a lie, but i know that animals feel and remember too. they know when they like someone or something and that's where it all starts.
animals probably don't have the same memory as people but their ability to solve problems is just as good as ours.
this horse learned to open the gates of the gates, hard to believe but it is like that, he starts to hit it with his head until he removes the gauze, like this with every gate he comes across.
He is also a temperamental animal, if he is not comfortable at a certain moment he does not want anyone to approach him and if he does he starts to bite and gets all nervous.
**another shared experience and for me it is an honour to be able to tell you all this.**
Wisdom is passed down through the generations, at least in my family.
My grandmother Isabel, a woman who has taught me almost everything I know nowadays, also known as "la doña", she has a lot of lived experiences that she transmits day by day to all her grandchildren and children, my grandmother is known to be a woman with great talent for food, she knows how to cook many things and the best thing is that everything turns out well, this time I captured her making some "cachapas", My grandmother has a good hand for cooking or at least that is what the other women of the farm say, because everything she prepares turns out with good taste but she is also known for being a very serious woman and she doesn't like that everybody helps her to cook, she almost always cooks alone, because for her it is easier to keep the order of what she is cooking.
every sunday as is customary on the farm they prepare some good cachapas and as I mentioned my grandmother is the one who prepares that food that would delight the gods themselves if it were so, many times I try to learn to cook like my grandmother, although only she gets those cachapas so well and above all great, how she does so that the cachapa does not split, as she herself says, it all depends on who prepares the corn dough if she knows how to prepare it well, it will not split, if it is too watery it probably will not turn out well.
the years are the ones that have given her all that knowledge, whenever I talk to my grandmother she tells me that what she knows how to cook and everything she learned was by observing her mother and her aunts, those women cooked with only yervas and salt, nowadays there are many more chemical seasonings, but for those women of ancient times, the only thing they knew to season were the same yervas that nature gave them.
my grandmother has a trick to make these cachapas totally different from the rest, the flavour varies, as she adds a touch of sugar, some may think that this is wrong, but for my grandmother it is totally different, it is very tasty.
***"Something unique in the preparation of my grandmother's cachapa is that she prepares it with firewood, which gives the cachapa its unique flavour."***
Also as is customary every Sunday they prepare that soup of bones, the best on the farm and that I have eaten, not to praise my grandmother, only she knows how to cook so divine, that soup that when you taste it you begin to savour so many different flavours that you will not stop eating. The women of the llano are known for being good cooks, women who spend most of the day in the kitchen, my grandmother is one of them, almost everything she makes is spectacular, I say almost because it is true that some things are not as perfect as others, the important thing is that whenever she prepares something it is good or very good.
**This soup had the following ingredients:**
Corn
bones
potato
yam
octopus
carrot
onion, coriander, chilli
yucca
when preparing it, the first thing to do is to put the bones and the meat to boil, at least 15 minutes to be exact, then when we see that the meat is taking a less reddish colour and starts to boil, we add the vegetables, with the seasonings, We begin to turn a little and let it continue to prepare over low heat, after about 30 minutes when the vegetables are soft, then everything is ready to serve, if you have some spicy, it will be much tastier for those who like to eat this way, but leave it as well as it will be tasty.
This tradition brings together many family members every Sunday, everyone knows that this day will be special because it is the great soup of Doña Isabel, who earned her reputation by preparing good food dishes, many say that this soup that my grandmother prepares lifts even the sick.
The people of the countryside are very united, they live by traditions, at least in my family it is like that, every weekend we all get together and spend a day as a family, there are also the days when someone has a birthday, then a meal is prepared and everyone gets together, it is almost always like that.
There are also the queens of the house, my daughter, Sofia Valentina, a beautiful 3 year old girl who came into the world to bring me joy and lots of love really one the llanero with the family is a class apart, we are taught that the duty with the family is special, a good upbringing determines a healthy development of people, so that's what we do, give everything positive for the greater good, every day I spend with my daughter I try to give her the best of me.
I try to show that as a father I am capable of that great challenge, which for many is an understatement, that of being a single parent. The girl's mother does not live with us, everything happened after we had a very strong argument one day because she wanted to mistreat the baby and I cannot tolerate that, much less that she assaults a girl who is not to blame.
Although I don't come here to speak ill of anyone, everyone pays for their ills in this life, that's how everything works, so well, the most beautiful thing about being a single parent is that it is a challenge for me to get ahead with the upbringing and development of the child but it is also nice to see how she grows up healthy and safe and very intelligent, every day she surprises me with the things she does or says, I feel that time goes very fast and that soon I will be an adult and my daughter will be a teenager. But while that is happening I have to go on with her upbringing.
My daughter is a very healthy child, she is also intelligent, there is no need to repeat things with her, everything goes very fast, she grasps easily and learns very quickly, every morning she gets up and the first thing she does is tell me daddy to brush, then I have to dress her and put her boots on, then she goes out to look for her grandmother and they go together to feed the animals, to see if the hens have laid eggs and she spends half a day with her grandmother.
I felt some sadness at the moment that her mother left much more for the child than for the relationship itself, although many people think that children do not suffer for being small, I think the opposite for me it was hard to see my daughter every day as she cried until she understood that her mother was gone and would not return, while that happened every day was eternal and every night had no end, my daughter the greatest blessing I have, she is part of my day to day, I feel that instead of being me who teaches her, I learn more and more from her every day.
I didn't think I was going to be a father in this way but it doesn't discourage me to be a good father, I have to get ahead and try to promote a good education and upbringing for my daughter because that's what being a great father is all about.
***"To love purely means to love with my soul, so I love my daughter who fills every space of my being, to care, to protect and to teach is the greatest honour I could have with my daughter."***
Yes, as I mentioned a little while ago, my family likes to sow, as much as possible, the land is the biggest tester we have, taking advantage of every meter to produce food and some money for the family is very important.
We take it very seriously to be able to plant every year as it is the biggest income we have so far, money that is used more than anything else for the expenses of the farm itself and payment of staff, also to feed our families and give us a treat or two, that's how simple everything is for us.
This land is already prepared and ready to sow maize, which is what we mostly sow every year and what we handle in industrial quantities, a large part of this harvest is sold to companies that then transform it into flour to be able to eat and sell to the population, the llanero learned to survive in a world in which the great advances have forced many llanero to seek the city in search of other opportunities, we are few who still cling to our land and the very essence of continuing to subsist in these so deserted couples and where what abounds is nature and many km of high grass.
for us there is nothing better than to have a productive day where we are able to set a goal, to be able to sow and then start to take care of it like a child, a child that later on will give us great results, that is how everything works for us.
the older members of the family are the ones who decide how to manage everything, not just because they are older, but also because of their wisdom, because over the years they have learned how to manage the land more easily and how to make the most of it, For example, there are months when it is not convenient to sow because the rains start and this prevents the seed from germinating, as it floods the fields and everything is lost, if it were not for the great knowledge of these older people we would make the big mistake of sowing in the rainy season, or at times when it is not appropriate to sow.
We are always looking to get the most benefits from different situations, for us the day to day counts, because although we do not only lose a day, it can also be a day where we will not eat well because of the lack we have had, to be able to produce every day is to feed our loved ones, to those who do not know the life of a llanero, well here is a small sample of what it means to be one.
**with the affection that I usually write this post, I also send you a big hug and sincere affection. take care of yourselves.**
Living in nature makes a person wise.
I can say that I really learned and was formed as a person living in that place, every day shared and every vivid experience I take with me wherever I go. It was and will be one of the best times of my life. Those 15 years have made me a great person.
Living on the farm teaches you character, from a very young age and above all it forces you to learn about almost anything. The "llanero" is considered a very industrious person who likes to work, likes to keep everything well ordered, they are not people who are going to stop and wait for something to happen, on the contrary, they resolve things and that was one of the things that I was taught from a very young age.
To be a good llanero you have to learn almost anything, from a very young age I had to learn to milk and although it may seem simple it takes practice to develop good technique, also working with cattle is not an easy task you have to know the animal well and know how to handle it, first of all animals and just like us human beings they also take good care of their offspring, that is why it is important not to mistreat the calf and know how to handle everything.
It does not take a long time to milk each cow, although some take a little longer than others, at least I take between 10 and 15 minutes to milk each animal, I am also including the time it takes me to look for the calf handler so that he is close to the cow and then give it to eat a little so that it can be milked calmly.
There are times when the animal is very brave or very delicate, on that occasion the cow must be tied well by the head and also secure its hind legs as these are also used by the animal as a form of defence and they hit very hard. "I recently heard from a farmer on another farm that for not securing a cow that was new to milking, he ended up hitting her in the chest with his head and almost killed her, luckily for him, the animal only felt that she was defending herself and did not attack" when carrying out a task such as milking you must be cautious because the animals only want to defend themselves and will do anything to do so.
Transporting milk in these days of May is not easy at all, after milking and having the containers with the milk ready, you have to go out in a canoe to be able to move the milk from one farm to another. Although I recently said that milking was not easy, imagine having to transport more than 400 litres of milk, each trip can only take 80 litres, which means that there are several trips to be able to deliver all that milk.
The "llanero" learns that the important thing is to achieve the objective, so however difficult it may seem, the "llanero" looks for a way to carry out what he has set out to do. If it is true that the plains get very wet in winter, the "llanero" also looks for a solution to be able to continue with his journey every day.
My older brothers and I always try to accomplish this task, although sometimes it becomes more difficult than it should be because it starts to rain and makes everything much more complicated. Or it also happens that everything catches a lot of water and we have to wait for the current to go down before we can go out to carry the cargo.
My grandmother, on the other hand, takes care of the hens and collects all the eggs every day. La doña, as she is nicknamed, her daily routine is to take care of her animals, every day when she gets up very early the first thing she looks for is corn to take to the hens and she starts calling by a very unique name "pico, pico, pico" the animals associate the sound with food and arrive quickly, of course this works because the animals are very intelligent and after several days doing the same thing, they already know.
My grandmother impresses me, I still remember when she started raising chickens, she only started with a few, now she has around 100 hens, it's incredible the difference and all thanks to taking good care of her and feeding her every day. The best thing is the benefit she gets from them.
In this photo she captures the most opportune moment of the day, she was feeding her animals and even on the side she had the eggs, all of which she had collected at that very moment.
Sometimes I think that what fills my grandmother with life every day is being able to get up and go out to look after her animals. And in part I think it's fantastic that she can distract herself and avoid falling into thinking.
The potato crop, my family is also characterised by planting almost anything, mostly large quantities of potatoes, this harvest yielded approximately more than 5,000 kg, although it seems like a lot it is not much, on other occasions we have achieved almost 20,000, a big difference.
According to my uncles and aunts, who are the main growers, it is all due to the change in the climate, the lack of rain at planting time and also the plague. Potatoes are very delicate.
Experience has marked a before and after in this whole system of sowing, what we have learned dictates how things should be done if we want to get the most out of it. The family lives from sowing, as well as from milk, which is why we are mainly involved in these two areas.
In my family you are either a milker or a sower, we have to choose which path to follow and that is where our life starts. Over the years we become in charge of our own business and those who were in charge go into retirement.
As such, no one owns anything, we all own everything. Because we understood that it is easier if there is nothing to envy.
The maize, although it is not in the photo, is also grown a lot here, we get a lot of food from maize and we also use it for different purposes. We grow chilli, although it is a bit delicate and expensive, we also make the most of it.
The plum is a fruit that usually ripens in April, this fruit brings together many different varieties.
It is highly sought after for its taste, but it also has a profitable commercial use and is used to make sweets. My family has more than 400 plum trees and sells 80% of the fruit every year in order to make some money.
My grandparents are teaching us which path to follow. Many times we are tempted by wealth and end up lost and alone. It happened to my cousin Luis that he had to sell a corn crop, my grandfather gave him that task, when he sold the crop my grandfather asked him, "What do we do now? My cousin answered, we are going to drink beer. And at that moment he lost faith in my grandfather.
Then my grandfather says that what happened with Luis is nothing out of the ordinary, they are people that when they see money, the first thing they do is spend it. He also says that if he gives that person any money, he will spend it badly.
The times in the plain are not the same as in the city, they are lived and managed differently. Cultures change according to the upbringing we are taught.
Let us be good sowers and cultivate values and self-respect. Later on we will have our best harvest.
After a busy day in the scorching heat, we all ended up sitting under a big mango tree. Looking at the beautiful view of the plain, there is nothing more beautiful than the nature itself. It represents freedom and its maximum expression of colours and its own brilliance. If you want to rest one day, you are invited to Venezuela. Contact us and learn a little more about our customs and culture. Here you live tasty because there is nothing better than living in nature far away from sonic and environmental pollution. Only pure air and the singing of the aces.
