@Mayt 5 May 2021 edited

Be a good listener

How many **ears** do you have? How many **mouths**? If I were to ask, we have **two ears** and **one mouth**. Am I right? That's so **basic**. All of us know that. Now, what's my point? God created us with that body part and the **number** shows how much we **require** it to **use**. We have **two ears** that means **listen more**. And **one mouth** that declares that we have to **talk less**. On this part, I can say that I handle it well. Based on my friends, they appreciate the way I make them feel **comfortable** while **telling** me a **problem or a story**. They can feel **I'm all ears**. That's what they like. I'm **listening**. But did you know that **listening** is different from **hearing**? Based on **Merriam-Webster**: **Hearing** is defined as *"the special sense by which noises and tones are received as stimuli"*. While **listening** means *"to pay attention to sound; to hear something with thoughtful attention, and to give consideration."* Can you see the difference? If you have to tell a story, would you like people to only hear it or listen? Of course, **listen**. All of us don't want to say a tale if people are **not** that **interested**. **So how can we say if people listen to us?** Based on my observation... One person is listening if he at least **nods**. If he's **answering** after I ask him a question. If he's **raising a question** regarding the topic. **But why do we need a person who listens?** In our life, we face different situations, experiences, and circumstances. Sometimes we are so happy, we got sad, or excited. On these emotions, **we need someone who cares**. Someone who'll be happy with what we achieved. Someone who will comfort us if we're sad. Someone to be more excited about our plans. One girl named Aliyah stated to me... That she loves to share her stories with me. Why? She can feel I'm listening. She can feel I'm ready to **give attention** to her. That every word that comes from her mouth will be **valued**. That every emotion that she felt, even though she knows I can't remove it, is **respected**. Well, I love **hearing stories**. I also love to **help**. Knowing that people **run to you** when everything is so **down**, is so **heartwarming**. Sometimes, I received a call from someone who's **crying**. I don't know what to say. So I just **listen**. Sometimes people **don't want to hear** something from us. They just want you to **LISTEN**. Just **listen**. It's all that they wanted. And I think I'm that person. I'm willing to listen. I'm not a **talkative** one. So I think that's what they like. They are **irritated** with someone who speaks the same problem as them. That every time they state their problem, that person also states his. So instead of **comfort**, the **burden** just got **added**. That's so **heavy** indeed. Imagine that you ask someone to help you with the **heavy baggage**. But instead of helping you. He **added** more. That's **inconsiderate**.

**So, how can we develop our listening skills?** Let me tell you some of **my ideas** and **observation** based on my experience. 1. If they are **stating**, try to **look** them in the **eye**. **Not too long** to make them **uncomfortable**. But a **glimpse** just to make them feel you're **paying attention** to them. 2. **Allow** them to **talk**. Even though you want to interrupt, let them talk. Just think that it's their **time** to **release emotions**. So be a **sponge** that **swallows** all the **words**. Give him **time** to **speak**. 3. Try to **put yourself** in their **shoe**. **Understand** the situation. **Ask** him if you don't understand what he's saying. In that case, he can feel that you're listening. 4. **Avoid** doing something that can **interrupt** the storyteller. If it's not that important, **stop** for a minute. Give him your **whole attention**. Maybe he needs you that much, rather than anything. 5. Don't forget to **talk** too. Even though he needs you to listen, a **few words** can be a **big help** to state that you **care**. Maybe a simple *"Do you mean...?"*, *"Really?"* or *"That sucks."* can **flow** the **communication** very **well**. So... I hope this article helps you to be a **good listener** someday. Someone needed your **ears**. So let them **borrow** it for a minute. 😊 Enjoy the **conversation**. Thanks for **listening**... I mean **reading**. 🤭  Photo source: Photo by **Ketut Subiyanto** from **Pexels** https://www.pexels.com/@ketut-subiyanto?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/crop-black-man-with-suitcase-and-kid-at-home-4546028/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels