Until when will I suffer? This afternoon, while I am feeding my daughter, I suddenly felt that I stopped from breathing and the next thing I knew is that I am catching my breath. My hands are shaking and I cannot hold the spoon anymore. I stand up and shake my hands, took a deep breath and relax. However, the panic attacks worsen. It's so hard to breathe and I am so lightheaded that everywhere I go, I can collapse anytime. I also panicked which made the uneasy feeling worse.…
Happy birthday, Nissi! Today is the natal day of Nissi, a 3-year-old baby girl. She is a daughter of my partner's cousin. To celebrate her big day, her dad rented a whole pool area and a karaoke. We are now here at Marianne Family Center Pool, to be exact. To make it exclusive just for the family, Nissi's dad rented the whole place because he's not comfortable around other people. When arrived there at 10 AM and i's blazing hot even there are trees and roofs that can shelter…
Mother's Day and National Elections Happy Mother's Day to all moms, soon-to-be moms, fur-moms, and moms at heart. I know this is kinda late but it's better late than never. I supposed to write yesterday but my panic attacks hindered my productivity again. I don't know why I feel uneasy when evening comes. My feet and hands numb and they are freezing cold. No matter how hard I try to make myself not to panic, I cannot avoid the thought that these panic attacks might kill me.…
Findings: UTI and a possible thyroid goiter How are you all? I wasn't able to publish again because of some health conditions. I want to share to you what happened that almost end my life but I want to be over it. Actually, I have a draft about it but I didn't continue writing because my panic attacks will only got worse. As much as possible, I should think about happy memories and positive things. Because this this persistent chills all over my hands and legs, I decided to…
Thank you, Lord I think it's almost a month since my anxiety came and hit me hard just last week. Woah! I battle my anxiety and I won because I am still alive. Though my anxiety kicks in every single day, it's a blessing that I am still here too. To be honest, I thought it's going to be the end of my life that I planned to tell my family that I am about to pass away. Isn't it crazy? Lol. I don't know why I develop this fear of death. Hmm, maybe it's part of postpartum…
Happy Christening, Clea! Last Saturday, my daughter had her christening day. It was one of her big days in life and we are all excited about it. Actually, we planned to have Clea's christening before she turns one month but we aren't prepared that time and I am also not over with my crying stage as a mom. Lol. That one month after giving birth is like a roller coaster of emotions for me. One day, I am happy then the next day I am not. There was a time when I cried hard in…
@Marinov