@MarSou 22 May 2022 more from that month

22.05.2003 I went to see you for the first time But your heart wasn't beating I carried my guilt for years I blamed myself, I didn't loved you enough, I couldn't protect you from myself, my own body betrayed me Years feeding a big Ugly Hulk, letting it turn into a Giant until I realized it wasn't guilt, it wasn't hate My Hulk's real name was Pain and Grief There's no place in our society for the unborn, for the pain of a woman that never gets to carry her baby in her harms It's too "normal", most of the woman go through that same awful pain, becomes an invisible sorrow no one wants to talk about No one else cries, there was never a baby, no one saw/felt/hold him/her Today is your day You would be 19 this October if you were born in due time Took me more than 10 years to accept that your brief life happened for a reason. You changed me, your tiny hand still with me, taking me to the healing path I am now I am and will always be, a Mother of 5 with only 4 sons to hug But my heart is forever divided in 5 equal pieces Today I think of you and I feel Happy You are and will always be a part of me, a part of this family, pass, present and future #Gratitude #MotherOf5