@KajaOnNoiseApp 4 June 2022

You run to work, you run from work, you run home, you run from home. You don't have time to wait at the traffic light, the red light lasts too long. You blow the trumpet if those in front of you don't leave right away. The waiting rooms of institutions, surgeries, administrations are crowded, so you can't even control yourself. Always crowded, you don't have time for that. You ignore pain, marks, discharge and stab wounds. You look at the phone, you slide your finger on the screen, you have no neurons to read anything longer than 3 sentences, you guess the content from the bombastic headlines. You look at your spouse, gray hair has appeared that was not there yesterday, and the wrinkles around your eyes, it seems to you, are deeper. You look at the child, he lengthened, his sleeves rolled up. You look at yourself. Not for too long. You don't go to coffee with close people like before, because ... Because it's like life. Someone left, someone surpassed, someone surpassed you. Interests are not the same. You go shopping and it makes you happy for fifteen minutes or the first day of wearing things, before they become another sweater or dress or pants on the pile for washing and ironing. You go to the mountain, you look at the phone. You watch the series, correspond with colleagues. You go for coffee, read emails. You read a book and you don't read a book. You dream of papers, tables, bills, wars and monsters. Breathe. Breathe while he has you. Because then, all of a sudden, in running, waiting, not having time, scrolling, not looking in the eyes and squinting at the needs that eat you inside and under the ribs, dreaming, shopping - you are gone. You're gone, sick. And you were there yesterday. You left behind an agreed outing and a serious conversation. Unseen series. An unread book. Not wearing shoes. An unfulfilled promise to myself. Everything else except you and all the excess. A cup of excess. Excess pillowcase. Surplus plate. Excess jacket. Cell phone surplus. Your side of the bed is redundant. And you? You lack.