Things Adults Need to Learn from Children
Birth, growth, maturity, old age, and death are phases of life that we cannot avoid. Every child will grow up; that's a sure thing.
It's also funny when we remember that as children we couldn't wait to grow up like our parents. We think they are great because they can do many things. So adults are cool, we thought innocently at the time. But, once we reach adulthood, we really miss our childhood.
Many things we gain, but also many things we lose as adults. These are the things that we both envy and feel the need to learn from children:
Have a dream without limits
Children see the world as infinite, where they can be whatever they want to be. Do you remember what your childhood dream was: pilot, doctor, astronaut, president? Meanwhile, those of us who are already dealing with reality are afraid to dream. In fact, without dreams, we would not be anyone.
Children remind us to dare to dream big without fear of failure, that we are capable of being whatever we want to be.
Don't worry about tomorrow
Children live and enjoy what they do today. They will not be too concerned about what they will face tomorrow.
Adults are often too busy with what tomorrow will look like, to the extent that lies in front of them now. So, why worry about tomorrow? After all, you live in the moment. Stop worrying about tomorrow and focus on what you are facing today.
Always curious
Children have great curiosity. They love to learn new things and always want to understand something further. "Why" is a mandatory question word when they get a new experience.
Meanwhile, we are often lazy to dig a deeper understanding of something, even the things we know are important. We prefer to act as if we understand, even though we don't understand. The children again set an example for us to ask further and understand more deeply.
Make friends without discrimination
Children make genuine friends regardless of race, ethnicity, ethnicity, religion or social status. For us, all of that is a luxury that may have been lost from us. Without realizing it, we have stuffed our minds with ideologies that make us prejudice against other groups, so it becomes difficult for us to make friends sincerely.
Children forgive easily
Just like adults, children can feel sad, angry, or disappointed in other people. But, the emotion didn't last long, the next day they were fine again. Through them, we can learn to sincerely forgive and forget the grudge against those who have wronged them.
Be more honest with their feelings
You would agree that children are more honest with their feelings. They cry when they are sad, laugh when they are happy. They don't feel the need to hide their feelings from other people. They speak their heart as it is.
know no fear
The most important thing we can learn from children is that they know no fear. What is meant here, of course, does not mean that we are not afraid of falling off a cliff or getting hit by hot water, but that fear is actually just a form of our anxiety: such as the fear of being shunned, ostracized, hated, afraid of the future, and so on.
We can learn from them that fear is just an illusion that keeps us from trying to progress and develop, and to be ourselves.
Children see the world from a different perspective. It is this perspective that adults have forgotten, but it can teach us many valuable life lessons.
Love but hate? Maybe you're caught in the feeling of ambivalence
Everyone has a fear of something, as well as a sense of hope for something. Everyone must have had a feeling of loving something or someone, and at the same time hating something or someone. This attitude will be formed when living and dealing with life events that will be lived, this will later affect a person's emotions and soul. Sometimes conflicting emotions can also come together. This is what is called ambivalent, for example feelings of love but hate.
People who are struck by this feeling will only make it difficult for themselves and also suck energy, especially the ambivalent feelings that often arise in love problems. For example, when you ask your friends for advice about wanting to break up with your boyfriend and your friends also support it, but suddenly your attitude changes, ah, how about that? When will you meet someone like him again? I can't break up. These thoughts often frustrate a person and put him in bad thoughts because the relationship is not making him happy and allows him to plan a breakup.
When others advised him to be patient, he whined. When told to break up, he admits that he still loves him, when he is told to love, he already hates it. Sometimes friends who have given advice and take the time and give heartfelt advice in the end it is their own decision that will be followed. People who experience ambivalence tend to be often unstable in making decisions or judging someone. That is the ambivalence of the human spirit, fear on one side of the soul and on the other side there is hope. Fear and hope are two opposing lines and are at opposite angles to each other.
Ambivalence in a relationship is painful. Because basically someone does not believe in themselves and their feelings. And always unsure. One sign that someone is in an ambivalent state is wanting love but being afraid. Sometimes there is a thought that falling in love can bring sadness in life, so this causes a person to never stop finding a suitable partner.
There is no problem without a solution, everyone must have felt a dilemma, doubt, especially in a relationship. But basically the problems that arise within are self manifestations of negative feelings that are lodged in the heart.
So we need to deal with it wisely. Considering the fact that not always going according to desire is something that must be faced, then at that time we must be careful, for that we need a unified heart and commensurate thoughts so as not to fall into a deep abyss.
Social Butterfly, the Extrovert Personality Type.
You must be familiar with the terms extrovert and introvert personality. To find out a person's personality type, we need to do a test that is reviewed by a psychologist so as not to do a self-diagnosis.
Speaking of personality, it turns out that there is such a thing as a social butterfly. This social butterfly is an extroverted personality type, SoHip! This social butterfly describes someone who is easy to get along with and sociable. Like a butterfly, a social butterfly can land in any group in its environment.
**What are social butterflies?**
According to William Chopik, PhD., psychologist and professor at Michigan State University, United States, social butterfly is a term used for people who are socially skilled, extroverted, and liked by many people. They tend to be more oriented towards other people. A social butterfly is also happy to meet and build relationships with new people.
The characteristics of a social butterfly Have lots of friends
Almost all of the social butterfly life they tell to the people in their life. You could say, those who have the personality of the social butterfly are people who are easy to get along with and are liked by many people, so the number of themes is not small.
They love to come and be involved in a large event. For them, there is no problem if they have to meet new people. In fact, they tend to fly themselves to several existing groups.
Talk too much
The nature of which is easy to adapt to new people, of course, makes this social butterfly tend to be active in speaking so that he can become a skilled speaker.
Being the center of attention, chatting with strangers, networking at professional events, and group discussions are very easy for the social butterfly. In fact, they can continue to chat with various topics of conversation from small talk to serious.
In fact, they did not hesitate to open and look for the topic of discussion first. Even though sometimes the topic of conversation sounds 'foreign' to their ears, they will still enjoy and blend in with their chat.
Likes to get attention
His easy to get along with anyone makes him labeled as a flexible person. The social butterfly is very easy to believe in. He even likes it when he manages to get the attention of the people around him.
Has attractive charisma
Having a good ability to speak makes a social butterfly attractive in the eyes of people. The charisma in a social butterfly is very strong.
In fact, the warmth in the personality of a social butterfly will make everyone feel comfortable around him.
Social butterfly the guardian of appearance
Being an outspoken person and likes to be the center of attention does not rule out the possibility for the social butterfly to always maintain his appearance. A good appearance will make him and those around him more comfortable.
After knowing the characteristics of a social butterfly, are you one of them?
Don't rush to conclusions, maybe you're just being deceived
Have you ever been deceived by your own feelings? Embroider events for you to match your feelings. Makes you think he loves you too. If you often feel like this, maybe this is what causes it.
You often force logic to follow your silly feelings often wrong
Maybe it's true that people say that love comes when you meet often, are comfortable joking together, giving each other and finally feeling something is missing when he's not around. You think that comfort is what both of you feel, you are wrong.
That feeling of comfort is only you who feel it. The jokes he throws, the smiles he gives, the attention he gives, you are the one who responds too much while he doesn't have the slightest feeling.
When you realize you're starting to like him, are you ready to get hurt if he doesn't feel the same way?
You finally start to realize that something will be missing when he's not around. Asking where your spirit is when you don't see the bridge of your nose. You feel he keeps sending love signals, again it's just your feelings. With all the courage and shame that you stocked up, you questioned the clarity of your relationship.
You know what the answer is? He doesn't have any feelings for you. All his smiles, cares and jokes have no special meaning for you. He's just joking, he thinks you're just a comfortable co-worker for him to talk to, who's nice to chat with. Oh, you're too confident.
He is good to everyone not just you
When you start to realize, he is kind to everyone, smiling at every turn, considerate and outgoing to all. The special treatment is not only you who feel but everyone. In other words you are not special to him at all. You are just like women in general who like to be praised, given attention, conditioned with a sense of comfort. Weak.
You blame him for being kind to everyone, even though that's because your logic weakened from liking him
You often convince yourself that you will be strong enough to break your heart when you start to love. You convinced yourself to take that heartache. You're too confident. And when you're broken you finally realize you're not strong enough to withstand the wound. You can heal from a broken heart but the healing process.
You have to learn to distinguish between a joke and affection
Your failure to distinguish between jokes and affection will make you learn a lot. Laughing or smiling together doesn't mean love, attention doesn't mean love, chat all the time doesn't mean you're special. I hope you get smart soon so you don't hurt yourself again.
The real happiness is actually present when the feeling of gratitude arrives
Who wants to be happy? Are you happy now? And many other questions that are often asked someone to ask about their life. In fact, even the questioner doesn't necessarily realize what happiness is like? But, yes, this is the world, full of questions when in fact these questions don't have much influence on his life.
*"I want to be happy like him".*
*"Wow, he's happy now...",*
*"You're really good now, already happy..."*
Expectations and statements like this are also very often expressed by anyone. When in fact maybe he is already happy, but he doesn't realize it or even the people he sees happy may be harboring the pain of life that is not seen by others.
So, what exactly is happiness? When will we be happy? The answer is very simple, you can actually feel happy when you are grateful. Be grateful for what you have, be grateful for the current conditions, and be grateful for everything that happens in your life.
When you start to realize what you are going through and accept it, believe me you will receive happiness. Happiness marked by gratitude is a natural and simple happiness that is often forgotten by many people. Though happiness is actually that simple, it's just not realized.
Why do we ask the happiness of others? Why should we compare ourselves to others when we don't know what pain they are holding? Everything we do it will not produce happiness for our lives too right...
With us accepting all of our lives and continuing to try to continue to do our best, whatever the result will never be regretted even if it ends in failure. Instead, it will end happily with all the gratitude you have.
Happiness is also a process, not just a result. When you are trying to do your best for something, you will surely feel happiness there. Of course, whatever the result, you have to accept it. By accepting these results, of course you will understand more about gratitude that produces happiness for yourself.
So, starting today, be grateful so that you will be happier! Cut out questions, statements, or expectations from comparing yourself to other people's lives if you want to be happy. And remember, above the sky there is still a sky and this world is the wheel of life. That is, when you see happy people, there are still happier people. And because the wheel is round and always turning, we don't know what tomorrow will bring even in a matter of seconds. So, accept everything you have at this moment and start to increase your sense of gratitude so that happiness always accompanies your life.
Don't Force Feelings. If it's not for you, let it go
*Have you ever loved someone very deeply? Until the moment he left, he took all the love you gave him..*
No one's life journey is the same. We all have our own stories that we experience in our lives. There are stories that are so fun, but not infrequently so painful. Everything spins, rotates every time and no one ever knows what the next story will be. I once loved so deeply, that when he left, I felt like I lost myself. I used to love so much. Until he lied, I was still able to forgive, even though sometimes it kept repeating itself. I held your hand so tightly that you might choke and move away. You left with all the love I gave, that I don't even have love for myself.
*I fell, and got up again. Fall in love, and heartbreak again.*
Every time I fall in love, I always wish this was the last. Every time I fall in love, I always hope that he will also love me well. Every time I love, I will hold that love very tightly so that it doesn't go away. But I can only plan, because God is still designing the scenario. I fell, and got up again. Fall in love, and heartbreak again. Cry, and soon happy again. Everything keeps repeating itself, until sometimes I get tired of myself. Until sometimes I'm lazy to fall in love again. Because every time I start to love, he will go, or maybe I will. Because whenever there's something I don't like, I'll walk away and look for perfection in others. Sometimes when I feel comfortable, he just disappears. I often ask God, how long?
*Every time I look back, I start to regret everything. All my stupidity, all my ego.*
Sometimes I don't understand God's plan, He often breaks my heart and then falls in love again. He often makes me feel so stupid for loving someone who doesn't love me back. When I'm alone, I often regret everything. Why was I so naive? Why did I fall in love so easily? Why am I always so sincere and in the end I'm the one who gets hurt? I regretted it and promised never to get hurt again, but still, I did it again. Yes, I'm a fool when it comes to love. That's roughly the conclusion I've drawn for the time being. Meanwhile, because I don't want to be hurt anymore, I don't want to do it again.
*No matter how much you hold on to it, if it's not for you, it will still disappear.*
Now, I always let go of things that don't make me happy, I always let him go if he's not happy too, when he's with me. I never want to stay in a bad relationship. Because in the past, I was always willing to be hurt because I loved so much. Now I've learned not to grip too tightly, I've learned to stop pushing. Because if he is your true love, he will always have a way to find you. Because if he really loves you, he will always have a reason to come back to you. And if he doesn't come back, then he's just not for you. Because no matter how tight you hold it, if it's not for you, it will still disappear.
*I am grateful, God forged me to be an adult. God taught me how to be sincere in love..*
Being an adult is not determined by getting older. Because sometimes someone whose age continues to grow, but his maturity does not increase. Maturity is always tested by the way you face every problem in life. You will be forged with so many trials, and when you get past them you will grow up. I am grateful, God forged me into an adult with so many tears and disappointments. I am grateful, God taught me how to let go of things that are not for me. Including caring for you.
*I believe one day God will answer all my prayers. Meet me with my last love..*
This journey is not over, and will continue until I find the answer. I just need to be patient and keep praying, because I believe one day God will answer all my prayers. Meeting me with you, my last love. Make sure you also patiently wait, until I find you.
Realizing, Accepting, Understanding and Managing Personal Branding Like Feelings
In today's digital era, who doesn't know personal branding? In a matter of minutes, even people who don't know can look for it on automatic search engines, like Google.
In short, personal branding is an attempt to introduce ourselves to the general public as the person we want to be. For example, if you like and are good at singing, all you have to do is establish that you are a singer to the general public.
Therefore, treating personal branding like a feeling is an important thing.
What does that mean?
**Be aware of what your personal branding is**
Personal branding is like a passion. If you already know what your passion is, that's a sign that you've passed the earliest stages of building personal branding.
Like feelings. If you are not aware of what you are feeling or even avoid your feelings, you will not be able to manage them. Forever, those feelings will bother you.
The feeling in question can be a bad feeling too, such as sad, down, tired, and so on. Who says having bad feelings isn't good? Precisely if you hold it, your mental health will be disturbed. It's the same with personal branding. You have to play more, in the sense that you have to explore more. Don't limit yourself to just one or two areas, but try many. In fact, even if you already know what your passion is, there's nothing wrong with continuing to explore various fields. Who knows it could be a new hobby right?
**Accept what your passion is as a form of building personal branding**
If you've realized what your passion is, embrace it. Don't just ignore it just because it doesn't feel cool or the job prospects aren't good. As long as it's a good thing to do, why not?
As previously stated, your mental health will suffer if you hold back your feelings, both good and bad. So accept that maybe you're good at sewing and happen to like it, or you can make other people laugh easily and you enjoy seeing them laugh. Embrace!
**Understanding your feelings is the same as understanding personal branding**
You already know how you feel, and you accept it. Next, you need to understand it. It's impossible for you to stop at the receiving stage without trying to understand it.
You need to understand what causes you to feel this feeling. Maybe because of seeing the neighbor's cat being raised poorly? Or maybe, because you just bought some really good ramen? Well, it's the same with personal branding.
What are the strengths and weaknesses of your passion? You can also analyze opportunities and threats that come from outside (not from yourself). Do you know? This analysis is called a SWOT analysis of Strengths (strengths), Weaknesses (weaknesses), Opportunities (opportunities), and Threats (threats). This method is powerful enough to understand your personal branding more deeply.
**Lastly, manage well what you already know**
The SWOT analysis was helpful, right? From here, you can try to manage it into a better thing. You can consult your feelings with experts, such as psychologists or psychiatrists so that you can get accurate treatment. Or, you can also put it in a journal, so you can see the progress of your mental health so far.
Personal branding is the same. Passion that you already know, you can manage again to become a good personal branding. You can start by practicing that passion for the better. While continuing to practice, there's nothing wrong with starting to shape your digital personal branding through the social media you have.
Just like me. I always apply these steps in treating my feelings. If I feel sad for a long time, I accept it. Ok, I've been sad for a long time. Then, I tried to find out, what is it that makes me sad for so long? Once I understand, the next step is to try to manage it. I usually start by writing whatever I want. If I don't feel better, I ventured to consult a psychologist.
I like many things. I like dancing, painting, playing video games, reading, watching movies, writing, drafting, and so on. However, I realized that I am not a person who likes to do strenuous activities every day. So, dancing can be crossed from the list. From all of that, I realized that I am not a person who can be consistent when the things I need are not always in front of me. Painting can also be crossed out, because I have to buy paint when it's out of stock. I also realized that writing is something I love, I am good at, and it can also help increase relationships and make money.
From there, I found that writing scripts was my ninja way, because the format was more challenging than writing in general. I try to manage these strengths by practicing and forming digital personal branding, even forming personal projects.
So, if you haven't figured out what your personal branding is, maybe you just need to be aware of, accept, understand, and manage it well.
Shadows of Enosimania, Guilt That Leads to Fear
Have you ever done something wrong to yourself or someone else? Then we always corner ourselves that we are the wrong people in the eyes of the world. There are many indications that cause feelings of guilt to arise. Starting from our own mistakes because we have behaved inappropriately, the mistakes of others who actually make ourselves a victim, even the trauma experienced when we were small. Guilt also comes because of the failures we have experienced, not being able to achieve what we want, the standards and assumptions that have been set by other people which we ourselves fail to live up to.
Sometimes there is a feeling of guilt within you. Always struggling inside because there are lots of scorn here and there that make this self humiliated and down. Always thinking bad and afraid to make mistakes. Failing to live up to expectations out there and being afraid to try. Especially at the age of a quarter life crisis, feelings of guilt arise because we haven't been successful and get what they want.
Lately, I heard a term that is quite unique. Have you ever heard the term Enosimania? Maybe this term is foreign to you, even I myself have just heard it now. But some of us have experienced this enosimania without us realizing it. Enosimania is a person's condition that he has a fear of making big mistakes. Enosimania is a condition where a person has a fear of making big mistakes and getting criticized by others.
Enosimania is also defined as self-pressure to make mistakes as if the mistakes were irreparable. This condition makes a person think that criticism from others is not used as a reference but instead makes us feel down.
Sometimes humans never escape from mistakes and mistakes. But if this happens, of course, it will endanger the mentality of someone who has an enosimania condition. Until now there has been no specific treatment related to how to overcome enosimania. But specifically in this article, at least I give some boosters or injections of encouragement so that you are not afraid to make a mistake.
**1. Feeling Guilt Is Human**
Have you ever heard a saying that says humans are in the wrong place and forget. It sounds like this saying is true, guys and I think it's totally agree. Sometimes we like to forget that once in a while we have made a mistake. Ideally everyone has made a mistake and felt guilty. I think it's a human thing. It's natural to reveal the feeling of guilt that is within us.
Everyone must have made a mistake. Be it an intentional or unintentional mistake. Either consciously or unconsciously. His name is that humans always want to grow, progress and process to live life as a valuable lesson.
But remember that doesn't mean you normalize the mistakes you make. What is wrong will still be wrong. What is wrong must be justified. If it is wrong it must be corrected. If it's not, it's better to revise it. Instead, we must learn that we should not repeat the same mistakes. Just once.
Sometimes we feel guilty because we really deserve to be blamed. All of that is natural, his name is also human. There must be something wrong and forget it. We at least remind and justify each other. Not even judging each other let alone insinuating each other.
However, when the error has faded and is worn out and there are people who do it again, that doesn't mean it's normalized. As if the assumption is wrong but making it up is not wrong. Mistakes come because we want to learn and we learn from those mistakes. Errors exist because we need improvement and self-improvement to be better.
**2. Don't be afraid to be wrong as long as it's right**
Humans are not always right and not always wrong. Except he who always corrects himself and justifies the truth of others for his own mistakes. At this point it all comes back to his point of view. Sometimes humans have flaws and gaps. Feeling guilty is not always seen as a negative feeling.
It's good we know the measure of our feelings of guilt first. Are the mistakes we made can still be tolerated or have gone too far. Remember not always wrong is wrong. What is right is sometimes wrong. Don't be afraid to make mistakes as long as those mistakes will lead you to the right path. If we don't try first, how will we know if we are wrong? From our mistakes we can also know how in the future to be more focused.
From our mistakes, we also know which ones are of good quality and which ones are not. Better to fail than not to try at all. It doesn't matter if you have made a mistake, this is where we can learn to get to the truth. A motivator, Anthony Robbins once said that all the failures and frustrations that have happened in my life have actually become a solid basis for achieving the success that I enjoy now.
It's like if we want to succeed, we must have at least experienced failure. Great success is sometimes paid dearly because of the bitterness of the failures that we feel. Apart from that, we can't be complacent. Do not let us make mistakes let alone become a habit.
**3. Change the Mindset of Mistakes**
As much as possible we do not avoid mistakes. Don't look for who's at fault. If from the beginning your intention was to find out who was at fault or who made a mistake, then surely there would be no end. It won't be finished. If we are wrong, we will admit it. We are frank to say. It is precisely this form of our confession that leads us to the path of truth. By changing our mindset to look at a mistake, there will be lessons that we can take from the events that we do. Like small stones that are along the road signifies us to always be careful in making mistakes.
Remember, that mistake is not a disgrace that we should cover up. But try to imagine again that when we find the ultimate truth, it actually arises from the mistakes we have made. If we don't make mistakes, we don't know what will happen in the future. That's why life sometimes always has trials that need to be tried. This is where the importance of when we already know that it is wrong. The most important thing is to face the obstacles that lie ahead. Never be afraid to be wrong.
It's okay to be wrong. Later we will find the best way. Rest assured that we will meet with a bright light because of the fruit of our efforts. Every time we take a wrong step, that light will be able to take us to our destination.
Lead image from unplash.com
@Jejen31
