The Difficulties Of Men Yet Are Less Appreciated
Life doesn't get easier when you get a woman. It gets harder. Honest people know this.
Yet one of the most unpopular truths that provokes ridiculous reactions even in men is to say that women drag you down more than they help you.People hate hearing this. Makes them defensive.
You get all these nonsense replies like"Maybe you've just met the wrong kind of woman"or "Men and women were made for each other and complement each other equally"Or some other nonsense.
All total cope, if you think women help men as much as men help them, you're delusional ,It's the same with kids. Kids make life harder and drag you down as well. In the hierarchy of neediness, men are least needy and children are most - with women in the middle.
Needy people make life harder, as they take up time and energy you'd otherwise allocate to building. Does that mean you shouldn't have kids or get a woman?
No. These challenges can provide fresh meaning, and produce their own unique spiritual rewards. Just realise every time you get with a woman or have an extra kid, you're increasing the difficulty level of your life.
Women are always the ones pushing for more. They want a baby. They want another baby. They want to get married. Why are the women always pushing for these things, rather than the men?
Because it's the men who bear the brunt of the increase in difficulty - not the women.
Don't get me wrong, a woman who's just had a child has certainly made her life harder. Before nobody relied on her. Now a child relies on her. But for the man, before it was just a woman relying on him, now it's a woman + a child relying on him. He has more people relying on him.
An easy life bereft of meaning is not a life worth living - and yet as with all things, difficulty should only rise in line with one's competence. You don't jump straight from beginner to expert. You work your way up slowly.
Jumping into the deep end is how you wreck yourself. Bearing all this in mind, you would think the needier sex would be the more grateful one, right? Wrong.
It is more common for a man to be deeply thankful just to have any woman, than it is for a woman to be profoundly grateful for the man who cares for her.
You will hear "he's lucky to have her" or "I'm lucky to have her" more than "she's lucky to have him" and "I'm lucky to have him"
Women are far less modest, yet men are more pathetic. For women are more desperate than men when single, yet less grateful than men when taken.
The key to a lasting relationship is a sense of mutual appreciation, irrespective of the disparity in difficulty. If we accept we're a hierarchical species and that gender's a strong delineator of hierarchy, then it's absurd to be upset about "one having it harder than the other"
So it's not a matter of fairness in so much as it is a matter of gratitude, and readiness to endure and take on additional burden.
Man's life is just one unending series of mounting burden, and a man who takes on more burden than he can endure collapses under the weight of it all
But given that man's burden is indeed the greatest, for he has not only the children, but the eternal adolescent, the woman to care for - he deserves the deepest gratitude and greatest thanks. Men build great empires and move whole oceans for little more than profound gratitude.
In this sense women make men better, not because they are an asset, but because they are a challenge, and, when they are the right kind of challenge - they moralise rather than demoralise. They give him a sense of purpose, even if they slow him down by making his life harder.
So you can think of a good woman as a gracious cheerleader. Her beauty both inside and out inspires the man, irrespective of the imposition of her needs. The beauty of her loins and the modesty of her soul transcends the ugliness of her neediness to invigorate him.
*That is a best case scenario*.
When such beauty is absent, the partnership loses its wholesome spiritual component and becomes parasitic. The man is demoralised, drained, like an unappreciated slave. He grows resentful, so he begins to crave freedom. He is slowly checking out.
A truly wise woman then is not only modest enough to accept the burden she represents - but mindful enough to actively counterbalance it by showering her man in beauty. She realises she keeps a man by showering him in the beauty of gratitude from the depths of her soul.
Women who fail to do this & allow themselves to become resentful (whether rightfully or wrongfully) will fail to keep their man in the long run.
There has to be some advantage, some reward, some positive for the man. You can't just endlessly mount him with burden with no thanks.
This is why narcissism although a terrible ugliness in general, is particularly ugly in woman. Because at least narcissistic men provide.
What does an immodest woman have to offer a man at all in any meaningful spiritual sense?
She will cause him nothing but pain and problems.
All a woman has is her gratitude. She lives + dies by it, because it defines her immaterial beauty. And so modesty for that reason alone is the chief + primary attribute women should cultivate and men should covet.
For without it, there can be no permanence, only temporariness.
This is why it's important for a man to cultivate a culture of appreciation within his relationship, and to set the pace at which he adopts additional burden.
Don't let women pressure you into taking on burdens you're unsuited to, and yet at the same time, do not lead her on.
Women feel anxiety about their fleeting fertility, but Rome wasn't built in a day. As such, your timescales are at odds and one party is forced to compromise.
`The only real solution is to ensure a wider age difference. Older, more established men with younger, unanxious women...`
*Thanks for Reading...📖*
What I experienced today at POS Shop
I needed a little cash in my pocket today so I pulled over at a POS Shop close by. A man who looked to be in his late fifties was the owner and operators of the POS business. He said he was an Igbo man from Imo state when I asked which state he was from.
I was in a hurry, but just by the side of the POS shop was a phone accessories shop so I also decided to get my Phone charger since I needed it.
While I was selecting the kind of charger I actually needed I told the POS operator to give me N40,000 cash and include his service charge. He said his service charge was N800 & I did not object.
While my card was in the machine & debit was being processed after I had pointed my pin on the button of the machine, the man counted N40,000 cash & gave to me. I collected & pocketed without counting.
Processing over and transaction approved, he issued me the print out receipt which I threw to the ground without looking at.
I picked my Phone charger & paid cash to the accessories dealers from the money the POS operator paid me, and walked out to pick a keke.
A still small voice told me to look at the debit alert on my phone, so I disengaged my gear to look at the alert.
Lo & Behold, the alert I got from my bank was N4,800 instead of N40,800 from the POS transaction.
I looked more closely the second time just to be absolutely sure, & saw that indeed the debit alert was N4,800.
I looked at the POS man from where I'm standing waiting for keke. A man in his late fifties, you could tell that he was trying to battle to stay afloat on the turbulent waters of life.
His countenance said it all. He had just mistakenly "dashed"
me N35,200 of his sweat, perhaps, almost all his capital for his POS business.
If I leave without telling him , he will go back home to his family, & after trying to reconcile his account for the day's business, there will be festival of tears & anguish up in realizing the shortfall. The misery would last for weeks.
tears were already welling in my eyes as I looked at the man from far. In this extremely hard economy in which we operate, a struggling man has just done himself in.
I wiped off the tears from my eyes. And I moved to the POS SHOP.
"Oga make I do another one." he said, enthusiastically. I shook my head without uttering a word, reached to the ATM in my pocket & gave to him.
"Please collect N35,200 from this ATM.", I said. " Should I include my charge", he bellowed. "Just do as I said", I insisted.
Transaction done, he wanted to count money to pay me.
And I said, "Sir. its your money. You overpaid me by N35,200 from the first transaction. It's actually your own mistakes."
Abruptly, the man fell down & held my feet, crying real heavy tears & mumbling blessings on me.
I lifted him up, and left!
A little honest here and there, and the world can actually be a better place for all
***Thanks for Reading....*** 📖📖
Don't risk marriage with these set of people
`Happy Sunday ❣️ to you all and all that will find interests to read and upvote my write up....wish you all sweet new week..`
Many people love the idea of marriage but the bad news they keep hearing is distancing them from the idea.
Some especially the redpillers may claim defiance ,but deep within they wish to settle down, but they just don't know with whom
I can't tell you who to marry, But I can advise you on whom not to marry
***I. Never marry someone without the fear of God. It's dangerous.***
They may fear you at your presence,maybe because of your economic power as their benefactor or because you may get upset and do them dirty if they wrong you.
But don't underestimate their quick change if they finally get that which you offer them from somewhere else , then the fear of you diminished and they do what they wish . Cheat on you , blackmail you and of course divorce you.
***2.Never marry someone that find it hard to forgive simple fault***
I had to add simple fault, because if I say just forgive, then you might take him/her for granted and be doing anyhow. tongue , because you know they will forgive after all. But in this context, I mean , don't risk marriage with someone who hold grudges for long and don't see reason to let go , who don't forgive easily but hold on to fault. You will see this singns during courtship, but if you are blinded by love, money, figure 8 or 6 packs. Marriage go clear your eyes
***3 .Don't Risk marriage with some one with too many opposing beliefs to yours***
By opposing beliefs, I don't mean APC Vs PDP, they are almost the same thing, I mean, don't risk marriage with an extremist of any kind, except you two are extremist. If you are pro life and they prefer abortion, don't go there. If they laugh at the death of another person who is simply not their tribe or religion but they feel happy at it.
That person is not sympathetic, he/she will laugh at you one day and you will hate yourself. Only you can properly tell the contrast. Just don't risk marriage with some one with too much opposite beliefs to yours.
***4 .don't marry a liar***
you will see it o, but you will laugh and say but you can lie sha grin. Don't worry na, marry him/her . You go hear whin. You will always know where you stand with a womanizer, you will always know where you stand with a thief, but you can never know where to place yourself with a chronic LIAR. Don't say he doesn't lie to me sha, the breakfast go reach everybody one day and you will hate it that you were one of the many wise people he/she fooled
***5. Don't marry a sadist***
There are some things smiling and laughter can àvert , there are some things dancing and playing can repair, there are some things , cuddling and chiding can fix , but if you end up with a sadist . There is nothing I have to say to you than the LORD is your strength
***6. don't marry a nyph if you can't cope***
At first you will think it's fun and you can match the game , but when e go over you , even the gods with their might and wisdom won't be able to settle the matter
***7. don't marry out of pity***
She came from a poor background so she must me humble and needy , Bros that should not be the main reason you should marry her. If I don't marry her who will? Let me just pity him cos he has been disturbing me, the boy try self . Me I pity you o. She doesn't have a helper let me help her by marriage, no go marry witch o
***8. if there have been several warning***
signs, don't be stubborn, don't marry o You may have noticed the signs , when they are with you, or in the dream or through your father or mother or friends or neighbor or strangers..
`e get why o.`
`Happy Sunday ❣️ my readers...`
`Thanks for Reading...📖📖`
I Suspected My girlfriend Was Cheating on me
15th Saturday January 2022
Many relationship and family today have been teared apart because there is lack of trust.
*Here is my true story!*
It started early last year when I sensed that my girlfriend I'm dating for 1years plus maybe cheating on me.
My girlfriend is a fashion designer, it happens that a particular number was calling her frequently and it was a male voice.
Each time her phone rang from this particular number at night when we are together, she will give the caller an excuse that she was busy and instruct him to call in the morning. After dropping the call, I would expect her to tell me who called but I noticed she usually abscond from discussing on it, so I wouldn't bother her or give her the reason to suspect I am not comfortable with her call.
Been a gentleman, I had never raised a hand on my girlfriend even if she offended me. I always avoid arguments because it may lead to some uncertainties in our relationship so I need a enough evidence before unleashing the beast in me.
One fateful day, I over heard her telling the same caller "REMEMBER I HAVE A BOYFRIEND". That night I couldn't hold myself I vowed to double my lead in finding out who my girlfriend was crushing on.
I made some contacts from experts and they billed me huge amount to record the callers conversation with my girlfriend.
To cut the story short, I bought exact phone with my girlfriend and one day I pretend as if I mistakenly took hers instead of mine, I took her phone to the technical gurus and something was installed, all my girlfriend call is now been recorded.
Within a space of days I replayed her conversation with the caller, behold it was her customer. The man is a Keke Rider and always have chance at night. All these while, my girlfriend who is a professional tailor was sawing ashoebi cloths for his wife to be. The man is the one footing the bills and he is paying it gradually hence the conversation.
I was shocked, I became speechless. One day the man called again after she dropped the call I jokingly told her who called you abi na your catch? She replied "Godforbid baby while should you say things like that, you know I can't cheat on you because of the love I have for you , I don't want to lose you to any lady she replied emotionally". I tendered her an apology and regretted why I allowed my emotions to judge my woman wrongly.
Since after this incident I concluded that many broken relationship today maybe as a result of lack of trust and communication.
As many innocent people are in prison for what they know nothing about so is many family broken for no just reasons.
If I don't have the money to track that caller I could have concluded that my girlfriend is cheating on me and the will just end based of lack of trust.
May God give us the wisdom to manage our relationship!
**Thanks for Reading.....📖**
What Happened To My Elder Brother.
People will take you for granted and play you according to how you present yourself. This is why I became proud of myself and how far I have come. I learnt that, In life nobody will carry your cross for you, nobody will love you more than yourself and no one will know your pain and suffering more than yourself. I say all this because of what I have been through.
I am writing on behalf my brother whom I know as one of the most caring and good hearted person I have ever known. Because of the constant persecution I received from my earthly father, I went to live with my elder brother because he was the only one that truly cared for me in all areas of my life.
My elder brother venture into a relationship with a lady who cares about nothing but to party and enjoy with her friends. She later move in to live with me and my brother and when my brother is away at work, she will come in with all manner of friends (ladies) like herself. It got to the point that, I started running away from my brother apartment because the house was like a party crib.
One day, I sat my brother down to talk to him about his fiancee. I told him, you are a very handsome and family oriented guy, this lady you are dating, her personality is not good for you and will surely drag you down. Why don't you look for another young lady that is more mellow, a lady that will help your life ? my brother just kept silent and didn't say one word to me, he look at me as if I was an enemy of his well being
I felt very bad that day as I was full of regret for advicing him against his woman. As time went by, the lady told my brother that she wanted to travel out of the state of which my brother agreed to her lies. She was secretly looking for a new apartment in another far away town because she was pregnant for another guy despite the fact that, she was living with my brother and my brother has done so much for her.
This new guy normally comes to the neighbourhood to visit her, and when my brother asked her, who is this guy? she told my brother that the guy is just a toaster and she just wanted to eat from the guy and when the guy asked her who my brother was to her, she told the guy that, she is living with my brother, who is her elder brother.
It was shocking when my brother heard from an outsider that, his fiancee is pregnant and when my brother confront her why she kept the pregnancy a secret, she told my brother that she did not want to abort the child. She has no choice but to admit the pregnancy to my brother and she also gave the pregnancy to the other guy. She was collecting maternity money for medicare from my brother and she was also collecting maternity or hospital money from the guy
She was in between two men and gave the pregnancy to my brother and to the guy as swell. The babe codedly convince the other guy to look for an apartment in another town, so that she can move far away from my brother that is why she told my brother that she wants to travel out of the state.
From the mouth of her aproko friends, my brother heard once more that, the pregnancy does not belong to him, and that the other guy was the father of the unborn child. When my brother asked her, she told my brother that, the pregnancy is not his and later move on with the other guy (the father of her unborn child).
I marveled because my brother is more handsome and has money than the other guy who is a cluber and has no good job.
My own brother wept and tried to speak curses on the lady because he spent so much on this lady and yet the babe betrayed him on the highest level. I told my elder brother to stop and not pronounce curses but to give thanks to Almighty God that he didn't father a child that was not his but my brother refuse to listen to my young brain and advice.
Out of frustration, within a week my brother venture into another relationship with a lady he met on his way driving home after work. I quarrel with him that day, and I told my brother that it is too soon and that he should stay alone for a while just to heal but my brother refuse to listen to me. I move out of my brother apartment and the new lady moved in to live with my brother as she became pregnant for my brother.
This new lady really caused more damage and suffering to the life of my elder brother after she gave birth. My brother later discovered that the lady has three other children for three different men and my brother was the no four. She later fled and left the baby for my brother to raise the child alone and his life never remain the same again.
The baby was raised by my mother and sisters and the child never knew motherly love. I am not sure my young nephew even know his biological mother in person. The story is very long and it is more worse than what I can narrate here
In my own life, what I went through in the hands of bad women, it was and it is Almighty God that constantly intervene over me and save me. If the mighty Hand of God had not put a stop to it, I would have died in each relationship because of the jezebel women that continuously keep coming into my life.
Mine was so bad that my brother was even surprise and my close friend was very much afraid of his own life and my friend told me that, it will be much more better for me to avoid africa women. He said if it is possible for me to fly out of africa and pick a woman, then I will be safe.,I was devasted in all levels.
With tears and pain I turn away from women and move on. It has been 4 years I keep moving on. I have never touch a woman. Right now I am feeling lonely but I just have to endure as I cannot venture into another relationship.
Right now I have no worries that I am not in any relationship - as I place my hope in God.
As for you guys who blindly hurry or enter into marriage, may God help your painful journey....
Thanks for Reading...
@Jeff001