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During and After Relationships

**November 7, 2020** Lately, I have been seeing articles regarding *the key to the long-lasting relationship* by @esciisc , and *when to let go* by @bmjc98 . All are about this powerful word called, **LOVE**. So let me make another sort of discussion about relationships. I may not be in the position to tackle this since I am *single*, but I have been there, and I have experienced almost everything being in a relationship. From courtship to break-ups, I know about it.

**Relationships** are not always perfect as ***"until death do us part"*** which happens in reality. Some are destined to be only temporary. I should say that I belong to the temporary group of love because my relationship with my ex didn't last long. I wasn't a perfect girlfriend, and he wasn't a perfect boyfriend as well. And that love story only lasted for more than three years. Here are some words that you might consider if you are in a relationship or even after breakups. **In a relationship:** **Do not always think that you know your partner well.** Do not assume that you know what will happen next, how your partner will react, or what your partner needs the most. Do not make assumptions because it might just cause misunderstandings. **It is important to express feelings to each other and communicate with each other effectively.** Know what your partner asks for, his/her needs, or figure out how he/she thinks. Understand each other's condition, what his/her facing and going through. **Show love, care, and support to your partner at all times**. You can do this by participating in your partner's life, events, activities, etc. If you understand and care for your partner, he/she will express his/her thoughts and emotions. This will also help to lessen the misunderstanding and suspicions towards each other. **Stay connected.** Always give a call or send love messages to your partner at work. You can also give surprises to amuse your partner. **Forgive and forget.** Forgive is the greatest act of love of all. Try to forgive your partner for all wrongdoings he has done. Try to forget bad things that happen yesterday and look forward to a better tomorrow. **Provide mutual support.** Whether it is emotionally, spiritually, physically, or financially, you need to support each other. Give trust and gain trust. **If conflicts arise, find an immediate and effective solution**. It is better to solve it before the day ends. Be matured and think rationally before you act. Share your thoughts and discuss the issue. **When you felt something wrong:** **Trust your instincts**. Listening to your gut is being honest with yourself, especially when you feel something going wrong. **Do not deny your feeling**. Ask your partner if you truly want to get answers to your questions. If you will hide your feelings, it will only lead to doubting your partner that may cause misunderstanding. **Do not overthink when you feel something is wrong**. It will draw away your positive feelings, and create more negative feelings and emotions. It may only give you stress that might ruin your relationships. ***Not all relationships last forever.*** So you should be aware and understand that breakups are a part of it. And you should know how to handle breakups when that time comes.

**Dealing with Breakups:** Breakups make you stronger. It will give you experience on how you can handle love. It will motivate you to improve yourself in handling love and will help you in choosing a better partner. Sometimes, breakups can be terrible if you still have some moments that you can not forgive and forget him/her, especially if you love him/her so much. In my case, it took me almost a year before I finally moved on from my last true love. I should have considered good ways to react to breakups and improve myself so it didn't last long. Thanks to my friends, they were always there during those painful moments. **Find ways to heal your broken heart**. Express your thoughts through doing something else. Read motivational books and get inspired. You may consider writing your feelings and emotions or share it with others. **Do not overreact or do something stupid**. Give some space from your ex. This will help you clear your thoughts and be able to move on with your ex. **Change your environment** and put on some light, music, and let yourself relax in it. There is nothing wrong to allow yourself to be sentimental. Express your feelings, cry over it, it will help ease the pain and make you feel better later. **Go out with your friends**. During breakups, friends will help you keep busy in a good way to keep the negative emotions away. Hang out or travel with them. It will help you in recovering from a painful breakup. **But because of breakups:** **You will have a clearer vision of your choices**. After a breakup, you will see clearly what you want to expect from your future partner. And you will be more certain of what you feel which makes you stronger and confident. Because of a breakup, **you already know how to deal with stress and heartbreak.** Therefore, you will be a better person in the next relationship. **You will reconnect with yourself**. You will learn how to value yourself again and will be more cautious with your actions. Because of the breakup, you will be motivated more to improve yourself which will create a better you. Because of the breakup, you will work harder than before and will be more focused on yourself, your work, and your goal. And you will **improve yourself spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally.** Learning to let go of the past is a vital aspect of your life. It will help you become a stronger and better person, and that is how a breakup serves as a blessing in disguise. Always think positive. Always remember that those painful heartbreaks provide you with an experience and you can learn lessons from it, and handle situations positively. Move on, look ahead, and focus on your future. Always remember that life is short. You should live your life to the fullest. Forget the past, forgive the sinners, and face the future. That is the only way to be ready for a new relationship and so you can live your life happier.

**Written by: @Jane** `Lead image from crosswalk.com`

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