DIY Wedding Prep: Venue Clean up
May 28, 2022
Hi there! By the time you're reading this, I am already married. I haven't been able to post for a week or more due to a busy schedule for the wedding. Since it's a DIY wedding, We kinda have to do everything ourselves so I just didn't find any free time to write here in readcash. But I'm here now and it feels really great to be back.
A week before the wedding we started our clean up drive for the venue, my uncle's farm. Since it was devastated by two typhoons, Odette PH and Agaton PH. We had a lot of cleaning to do. A lot of fallen trees, broken branches and untrimmed grass. The barn also had parts of its roof missing. Honestly, we did have doubts whether we can get the place cleaned up on time but we stayed optimistic and kept thinking that it's nothing teamwork can't fix.
Since we don't have much man power, We started cutting the grass and sweeping them up. We did not clean the tree trunks and tree chunks up yet because they were too heavy for us. For a few days we focused on cutting the grass and making it look presentable. It was quite exhausting but we didn't mind because we had fun working together. Even my cute toddler cousins joined in on our cleanup.
*Honestly, The first day was the hardest. It was too hot and we were under the sun for too long. It was very dehydrating but we drank a lot of water while working so we wouldn't feel nauseous and get heat stroke.*
When my other uncles were free, they used a chainsaw to cut the fallen trees up in order for us to clean them up easily and they got rid of the tree trunks too. We also used some of the trees for the wedding decors.( You'll see in my next post)
My uncle even fixed the farm house roof. We manage to clean everything up in only just a few days. And for free! My family is amazing like that. Everyone always lends a helping hand. We can do any task as long as we work together. Indeed I feel very lucky to be a part of such family. In my whole life, I never felt totally alone. I had a big support system and I love every single part of my family. They also welcomed my fiancé (now husband) to the family with open arms, no judgement whatsoever. I'm just so thankful.
After every nook and cranny of the farm was cleaned we put a small tent up for the dessert section. While it was a bit exhausting, it felt very rewarding and it felt even better to have my family by my side.
It's been a few days sine I became a legally married woman. It still feels surreal and I can happily say that our DIY wedding was very successful. I will tell you more details on my next posts. Thank you for reading. Have a nice day. Stay safe and don't forget to take care of yourselves.
DIY Wedding Prep Update
May 12, 2022
Hi everyone. I hope you're all doing well. With just 10 days before our wedding, Things are getting pretty hectic. I've been trying to find preparation time in between taking care of my dad and my household chores. My brother's always out and my mom is working so I got no one but myself. It was hard at first but now, my dad has really recovered pretty fast and he can now take care of himself. I just have to assist him.
To be honest, we're a little bit behind schedule so I'm pretty busy as of the moment but I still try to find time to write here. I'm just hoping for things to turn out great.
So today, I DIY'ed some wedding boutonnieres. It's a floral accessory worn or pinned on the clothes of the Groom, Principal Sponsors, Best Man, and the Groom's men.
I made mine with artificial flowers since I'm on a budget and flowers have been so expensive and hard to find ever since we were devastated by the typhoons.
I bought the items that I was going to use for my DIY Wedding Boutonnieres yesterday. They were very affordable and of pretty good quality.
Here are the items:
The first thing I did was cut the flowers, the stems with small flowers, and leaves from the main stem on the artificial flower thing (I don't know what It's called 😅) using scissors.
After that, I arranged the flowers and leaves the way I wanted my design to look like. Once I'm happy with the design, I put them all together using hot glue. I cut the stems down to about one and a quarter inch from the main flower just to even all the stems out while making sure that I left enough room for the safety pin.
The next thing I did was wrap jute twine around the stem area leaving the bottom of the stems and secured it with hot glue. Then i attached a safety pin at the back of the twine covered stem.
I felt like something was missing with my design so I decided to put on a purple ribbon but I didn't like how it looks with it so I changed the purple ribbon to green.
I kinda made the ribbon like the ribbons we put on gifts. Then I tied it around the flower.
With all those steps, I was finally done with my DIY boutonnieres. Here is the final result.
It's a simple design. I like it. I think it looks quite cute. I'm not really a big fan of luxurious stuff. Anyway, I might be done with making the boutonnieres but I still have a lot of things to do for the wedding. Tomorrow, we'll be cleaning the venue. I'll also document it to share the experience here in read cash. See you on my next post.
Have a great day to all. Stay safe and don't forget to take care of yourselves.
How to tell if you're in the Friend Zone
May 11, 2022
Hello everyone! How are you doing today? I'm doing good. A little bit busy that's why I only had time to write at night. There's been a lot of negativity going on in the Philippines so I opted to write something light-hearted and fun to pull my spirits up.
How to tell if you're in the FRIEND ZONE.
Girls, How do we tell if we're being friend zoned?
I've been friend zoned a lot of times in the past.I like to think that I already know my way around it lol. And by that I mean I can tell when someone is being friend zoned. But then again I'm not a love guru or an expert so I don't think I'm 100% a reliable source. I'm just speaking from experience lol. So don't take this too seriously and let's just have fun with it 😁.
To tell if you're being friend zoned, the key is to read between the lines. Remember that actions speak louder than words. So here's some things they do that might mean that they don't like you the way you like them. 😭😅
1. When he talks about other girls he likes or his crush and he's not just doing it to make you jealous, then you might be in the friend zone. Talk about being Insensitive, huh? I mean if he likes or has a crush on other girls then it means he doesn't see you that way. He probably just sees you as a trustworthy friend he can vent and gush about his crush to.
2. When he calls you cute and sometimes corny nicknames like "buddy", "sis", "bro", "champ", or "kiddo". He probably sees you more like a sibling than a love interest. 😭 Call signs like "love" and "babe" are cute too, but they might not be for you. Ouch 💔
3. When he gives you dating advice or even sets you up with somebody else. He'll probably tell you that he's just trying to be a good friend. He'll maybe even set you up with one of his friends. Everyone can probably see that you like him more than a friend, except him.
4. When he doesn't go out of his way just to be with you. He probably makes excuses sometimes. Maybe he prefers to hang out with his other friends. Or maybe he's on a date with someone he really likes.
5. When he doesn't mind holding hands, wearing dorky house clothes with you around, or even sleeping in the same bed. Sometimes a bit of awkwardness can be a good thing.
Well, these are just hypothetical situations. We all have different love languages. How we show that we like someone could be different for each one of us. The things I listed down are just guides. But the best way to find out if you're being friend zoned is just to just ask jokingly. Take a chance. What do you know? Maybe he does feel the same. If he does, go for it. If he doesn't feel the same way, then you can just pass it as a joke like "It's a prank!". 😅 At least, that's how I would do it. lol.
Have you ever been friend zoned? How did you know for sure? Tell me in the comments. I'd love to read about your experiences.
That's all I have for you guys today. See you on my next post. Have a great day ahead. Stay safe and don't forget to take care of yourselves.
Exercised our Right to Vote
May 10, 2022
Good day everyone. I'm back after a day of inactivity. Yesterday was a very busy and quite honestly an anxiety-filled day. But thankfully nothing majorly devastating happened here in our area.
To those who didn't know, yesterday was Election day in the Philippines. The final stage of the fierce battle between the candidates and their supporters. I was honestly getting tired of all the fighting. I was tired of all the negativity. I was so ready for the Election season to be over.
With that being said, Voting is both a right and a responsibility for us citizens. Choosing a new leader is a very important decision to make for it has an impact on our lives.
Kudos to my friends for being Responsible Citizens ❤️🇵🇭
OUR INDELIBLE INK ❤️
I went to the precinct early with my dad. He needed assistance so we went there early so that we wont need to queue up for a long time. Thankfully there weren't many people there so we were one of the first people to vote. I assisted my dad since his right hand still has limited movement. I was the one who shaded his choices on the ballot. I shaded carefully and made sure that I left no folds on the ballot paper. I didn't want my dad's vote to go to waste so I did my best.
After my dad, It was my turn to vote. I also shaded very carefully. I felt relieved after voting. I was confident with my choices. I know the people I voted had the capacity to lift our nation upward.
I could sense the tension in the air while people waited till 7 pm for the tally. When the time came to tally the votes, everyone was glued to their tv's, phone or computers. I'm sure everyone was hoping for their candidate to win. Some didn't even sleep. Me on the other hand, was sound asleep. I was tired.
The final unofficial results came out today. Former Secretary Ferdinand Bongbong Marcos won with 30M+ votes for the Presidency. And for the Vice President position, Davao Mayor Sara Duterte. I'm satisfied with the results but some people weren't. The Social Media in Ph is very chaotic right now. I can't blame them though. People are still processing the results in their minds. I do hope that the tension and fighting online would die down after a few days. I'm so over the negativity.
What's done is done. The people has spoken. The people has chosen their next leaders. My mind is at peace knowing that I did not insult, degrade, humiliate or belittle anyone to prove a political point. When questioned, I also answered respectfully and did not call anyone "bobo" (dumb) just to win an argument. I know a lot of people are smarter than me. Heck, I didn't even get my degree yet so who am I to judge someone's intellectual capacity right? { I know some people use this fact to degrade me. ) I know some statements I made offended some people, I did not mention any names but if the shoe fits, that's not my fault anymore.
Anyway, I do hope that the next president, Vice President, and Senators do their duties well. At the end of the day, we are one Country. We are one Philippines and we are all Filipinos. No matter who the Government leaders are, we will not prosper if the people itself work against the government.
I'm hoping for the best. I'm hoping for a brighter future for our country. Mabuhay ang Pilipinas 🇵🇭, Mabuhay ang mga Pilipino 🇵🇭.
How about you guys? Did you vote for your chosen candidate?
That would be all for today's entry. I'll post again tomorrow. ☺️ Stay safe everyone and don't forget to take care of yourselves.
Answering Random Questions
Another day, another post. ☺️ How's everybody doing today. I'm doing great. Although still really busy and a bit stressed with wedding preparations but I've got a lot of help so it doesn't bother me that much.
Have you ever experienced a day when you don't really know what you want to talk about in your articles? Like a writer's block of some kind. That day is today for me. So I decided to browse the internet for some ideas. Luckily, I found this random question generator website on ecosia. So today, I'm gonna answer random questions.
I got really great questions on my first try so I decided to answer these questions.
What have you been thinking about lately that keeps you up at night?
Lately I've been thinking about my wedding and things that could go wrong on the wedding day. Since it's an outdoor wedding, I hope that it wouldn't rain. I keep praying for God to give us a beautiful Sunny day on the 22nd of May. We can't really predict what would happen, we can only hope for the best. Another thing that has been on my mind lately is what's happening with our planet. Scientists are saying that we only have 5 years to try and fix things or we would all be dead after 12 years. It's really scary. I feel like I've barely lived. There's still a lot of things that I want to accomplish. But like I said, We don't exactly know what's gonna happen. We can only hope for the best and be Eco or Earth-friendly as much as we can.
What is the last big goal you accomplished?
For the longest time, I've wanted to own a small business. I kinda devised a plan with my then boyfriend and now fiancé to work and save money to use as capital for a business. We did just that. We went to cebu city to work for a couple months. We planned to work for a year but due to covid restrictions it was cut short to a few months. When we came back to the province, we had enough savings to start a clothing shop or a thrift shop. My fiancé also bought his first owned motorcycle. Of course, we couldn't have accomplished those things without the help of my parents and I'm forever thankful.
What's something about you today that the old you would find surprising?
Honestly, it's the fact that I'm engaged to get married. When I was younger, I honestly thought that I would grow up to be a single grumpy old lady. I was too insecure to think that someone would actually like me. I think the old me would be shocked and happy at the same time.
What did you learn from the last book you read?
Well, the last book I read was a romance novel. I don't really think I've learned anything I haven't already learned before. So I honestly don't know how to answer this question. Sorry guys. ✌️ But the lesson of the story is no matter what you do, good or bad, people will still judge. So just live the life you want to live. Nevermind what people say as long as you're happy. That's all that matters.
What do you try to do to make the world a little better?
A lot of negative things has been happening in the world right now. What I try to do is just be positive and happy. When you work on yourself to be positive and happy, that would resonate to other people and just share the good vibes. The last thing I want to do would be contribute to the negativity. I'm not about that life. When you're positive, you tend to do positive things and spread positive vibes.
So I think I've managed to answer the questions somehow. I hope you guys got to know me better based on my answers. Anyway, I want to write some fun and light-hearted articles like this more often. I noticed most of the articles that I posted were about serious topics so I want to mix it up from time to time. But I'll still write about my life and some serious topics. I guess I'll just write whatever I want to write from day to day.
Anyway, that's all for today. Thanks for reading. Stay safe everyone and don't forget to take care of yourselves.
Politics over Relationships
May 7, 2022
Hi there! How are you today? I hope you're doing well. It's almost Election day here in the Philippines and things are getting really intense. I know it's a sensitive topic and might not resonate well with people but I just want to express how I feel about it.
People are getting very passionate about politics. And from what I've seen and experienced, this has been the worst and the ugliest election season we've ever had in the Philippines. I've seen friends disconnecting, families belittling each other, and don't get me started with the 'cancel culture'. Things just got too toxic.
I used to be vocal about my political stance but since some friends changed how they treat me and knowing how sensitive they are about people who has different views and opinion from them, I decided to delete all posts I've shared about my chosen president and vice president. For me, a friendship of more than 10 years is more important than my political views.
I just don't understand why some people would choose to end relationships just because they don't support the same candidate because I would never ever sacrifice a relationship that was built over a period of time for some presidential candidate that I don't even know personally.
No matter how much I try to wrap my head around it and try to understand their logic, I never could.
I didn't think that it would ever happen to one of my friend groups but it did. I was so disappointed and heartbroken because I believed in our friendship so bad. I thought nothing could ever break our relationship because we see each other as brothers and sisters. But politics did that.
A friend of mine messaged me on facebook messenger saying that she was sad and heartbroken. I asked why and she sent me a screenshot of her convo with our two other friends. They judged her for her political stance and assumed things about her morals just because she had a different political view from them. Mind you, she can't even vote yet. Why fight and force your agenda on someone who can't even vote yet? The most heartbreaking thing is she didn't even care about them calling her 'bobo'/ dumb and calling her a laughingstock. No, she wasn't sad about that. She was worried about the friendship ending. She told me, "It hurts that they would chose politics over me.". These same people who undermined her were also very cold towards me and would send me very passive-agressive messages. Saying 'no offense' but calling me offensive names while ending their message with 'have a great day'. I wasn't born yesterday. I know and I can see when people aren't being genuine.
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!
I've made several posts about this on facebook. But I don't it would change the circumstances now. Our friendship was ruined by politics. I was so mad. I posted this on facebook.
To all my friends who changed how they treat me because of politics, please don't think that our friendship would still go back to the way it was after the elections. Why? Because you showed how little you value our friendship by changing your perspective of my whole being just because of who I will or will not vote. (most members of our family support BBM but the past weeks, I decided to do research and now I'm still undecided and doing more research) Everything you knew about me years before and everytime I tried to comfort you when things were rough were forgotten the second you knew which candidate I was leaning to to vote. Wow! You got amnesia all of a sudden? Everything has gotten so toxic. Why are we glorifying these candidates and justifying their actions when the campaign season is for us to really assess the candidate with hawk eyes, no bias so we can really decide for ourselves who to vote. Isn't that what the campaign season is all about? Why are we competing who has more people during the campaign rallies? Isn't the campaign rally made to persuade people to vote for that candidate? From what I remember, anyone who wants to know or see what that candidate can offer for the betterment of the country should attend the rally not just that candidate's solid supporters. Isn't that the reason for holding a campaign rally, or am I just tripping? Maybe I'm wrong and my perception is flawed? I don't know, I'm confused. I learned from the past elections that we should be open-minded during the campaign season so we cann see clearly which candidate has the qualities of a good leader. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?
I hope people understand that whether your candidate wins or not remember that the election is just one day but relationships last for a lifetime.
That's it dor today folks. See on my next entry. Stay safe everyone and don't forget to take care of yourselves.
Rainy Prenup Shoot
May 6, 2022
Hello there. I wasn't able to post an update yesterday because we were busy with our prenup shoot. By the time we got home, I was already very exhausted and fell right into sleep so I decided to talk about our experience doing our prenup shoot today.
When I woke up yesterday, I was actually worried that we would need to postpone our shoot because of the weather. It was a rainy day. Sometimes, the rain would stop but it would pour again after a few hours. We don't have enough time before the wedding so we can only do the shoot yesterday, plus my fiancé took a leave of absence yesterday for the shoot. It would be disappointing if we couldn't go through with it.
We didn't have much choice so we went through with the shoot. We prepared ourselves. I put a little bit of makeup on and packed our clothes for the shoot then met up with our team. We didn't have enough budget for a professional photographer so we decided to do it ourselves with the help of my uncle's wife, ate Daisy and my cousins: Meg Ryan, Karen Elyss, and Madirosse.
There's a mountain in the barangay where my grandma and other extended family members live so we decided to take the photos there. It's not too far up, like a 15 minute hike. It was a little challenging going through the slopes because it was raining and the soil was wet and a little slippery. But it was all worth it. There was a part of the mountain that had burned a few months ago and we can see that the trees are healing. It was beautiful. Once we reached the top, We were in awe of the beauty we saw. The view of the hills was amazing and frankly very inspiring. There's nothing more beautiful than nature itself.
Once we were settled, we started taking pictures. We also took a few videos and tiktoks as well. Here are a few photos from our prenup shoot.
I'll just share those few pics. The others will be a surprise. 😁
As you can see, it was very cloudy but we pulled through. I'm honestly happy about how the pictures turned out. I can't wait to show everyone all of the pics.
Before yesterday, We were actually contemplating weather we would do a prenup shoot or not because of the lack of funds but our family members encouraged us and supported us through this whole ordeal. 😅 They were very supportive. They literally climbed a whole mountain, took pictures and assisted us for free. I am forever thankful.
That's it for today 😊 If you like my content, please follow me or sponsor 😁 Whichever one you prefer. I'll be posting more updates soon. Stay safe everyone and always take care of yourselves. ❣️
A Tribute to my Grandpa
It's almost been two years since I've lost my grandpa to cancer. I still think about him a lot and I often think about him when I make life decisions. It's never easy to lose a loved one. At first, it's as if losing him has left a void in my life.I had a lot of regrets, things I wish I had done differently and things I wish I did with him when he was still with us. But that's the thing with life. We never realize what we've got until it gets taken away from us.
I always saw my grandpa as a strong healthy man. He was always energetic and full of life. That's why him getting diagnosed with cancer came as a shock to our family. It was very sudden and it happened very fast. His health declined quickly and it was hard to get medical services because of the pandemic. Sometimes I think to myself, if it wasn't for the pandemic, could things have turned out differently? But there's no use in thinking about that. I know my grandpa in heaven wouldn't be happy to know that I think about these things when he's looking down on me from above because how he died is not what's important, it's how he lived his life.
My grandpa lived a simple life. Some may judge him for being poor, for not having proper education, for not having a high paying job. But to me, my grandpa was the greatest man I know.
My grandpa was a fisherman. Not a prestigious job, but I'm always proud of it. It's a decent way of earning a living and my grandpa did his best to provide for his family. I remember when I was a lot younger, he would take me and my brother on a boat ride. Those times made me so happy, I loved listening to the waves and feeling the cold wind on my face. I could say that it was the best experience for the 7 year old me. My grandpa didn't have a lot of money to give but he had a lot of love and that was more than enough for me.
My grandpa never really had a proper education because his parents couldn't afford to send him to school. People often judge him for that. He never learned how to write or read. But to me, my grandpa was the most intelligent man. My grandpa may not have known or learned about the figures of speech or the scientific method but he knew a lot about life. He was a man full of wisdom and I've learned a lot about life from him more that I learned about it from school. I'll never forget all the advice I got from him.
I've always dreamt of having my grandparents at the important events in my life. Graduation, Wedding, Having my first child and more. I always prayed to God to keep them healthy and give them a long life. At first I thought that I will never be able to fulfill that dream but now that I've matured, I don't really feel like that anymore because I know when those events happen he will be here with me. He is always with me through all the lessons he taught me, through the love he gave, he's in my DNA and I am his legacy.
WE ARE HIS LEGACY:
"Wherever you are grandpa, I know I wasn't the best grandchild but right now I'm doing my best to live my life in a way that honors you. I love you."
How about you? What's your grandpa like? Tell me in the comments. ☺️
Have a great daw everyone and don't forget to take care of yourself.
See you on my next post ☺️❣️
A DIY Wedding :)
May 3, 2022
Hey everyone. Good morning, good afternoon and good evening to you, wherever you are in the world. I hope you're doing good. To be honest I'm a little bit stressed out (just a tiny bit). 😅As I said in my past posts, I'm getting married this month. Since we only have 19 days till the wedding, I thought I should share some details about my preparations for it.
Weddings are really expensive. We planned to have a simple wedding celebration but our families are very supportive so we ended up having to plan a somewhat grand wedding or "bongga" as we call it in the Philippines. I kinda thought hiring a wedding planner would cost me more money so I just decided to wing it out myself lol. My mom is helping me with some of the wedding details.
The first thing we did is take care of paperwork. Last December, my fiancé and I went to Tacloban city to get our Certificate of No Marriage because it's a requirement for getting a Marriage License. After that we then went to the Local Civil Registry to apply for a Marriage License. Since I'm 23 and my fiancé is 27, which is still considered a pretty young age to get married, We had to get consultation for a Pre-Marriage Counceling. They had to make sure that we're really ready to get married on our own will. Not just get married because the guy got the girl pregnant (which is not the case for us). So after that, we're pretty much set to get married.
The next thing we did is choose a date. There's a lot of things to consider when choosing a date. We took account of the weather. Since June, July, and August are when it's typically rainy season and our Application for Marriage License expires in July, We decided on May 22nd which is a Sunday. We also decided on the venue which is my aunt and uncle's farm. It needs a little bit of work to clean up since it was devastated by two typhoons, but we'll make it work. Teamwork makes the Dream work.❣️
The next thing would be the guests list and invitations. I also decided to make the invitations myself. So I bought these Stationary Papers which were thick like a card, and I also bought parchment paper, jute strings, wax beads, a wax stamp and a paper corner cutter. I spent about 400 pesos for those stuff. I then made a layout of the print on canva. I had freedom to customize anything I want to because my account was on premium subscription. I ended up doing these designs:
I tried to use the parchment paper as like an envelope. It looked bland and boring and I felt like something was missing with my initial design so I decided to print flower patterns or prints on the parchment paper. I browsed through pinterest and chose two flower print designs and printed them on the parchment paper and I honestly thought it was the best idea I thought of for the invitation design. Once I was happy with my design I printed them and put them all together. Now it looks like this:
We already gave them out to our guests.
The next preparations were typical wedding prep. We hired decorators, negotiated with catering services, bought maid of honor and bridesmaids dresses, rented some other clothing pieces for the entourage, and I also chose my wedding dress. My most recent fitting happened yesterday. I kinda felt insecure with my body. I'm on the heavier side so I have some insecurities about my body but I felt good in the wedding dress I chose. It hugged my curves and I just felt very beautiful wearing it hence why I chose it. I didn't take pictures yet. It's a surprise. 😁
I'm still working on the giveaways as of now. I'm giving away flowering plant seeds as my wedding souvenirs ☺️. If only I had more time, I would give away tree seedlings but flowering plant seeds will do. We will also be doing our prenuptial photo shoot this coming May 5th. Two days from now. I think I'll write about my experience here.
That's all the wedding prep updates I can share for now but I'll give another update soon. ☺️ Take care and have a great day to everyone and don't forget:
My Parents are getting older and I don't think I'm ready
May 2, 2022
Hi there! It feels great to be able to post here today. I haven't been able to be active here for the past 2 days because things just got hectic. In a way, this platform is like a stress reliever for me being able to share my thoughts and feelings and here I am sharing my thoughts again.
For the past few years, I have been living life blithely oblivious that time is rapidly passing. I've been trying to enjoy myself and live in the present and sure, I do see myself growing older and I'm extremely grateful to have my parents beside me supportive as ever. But it never really occured to me until recently that my parents aren't as young as they used to be.
We had to take my dad to urgent care not too long ago. He had a mild stroke which was caused by heart failure. I was really scared. He was unable to speak and move so we took him to the hospital right away. In that moment, I had a realization: My parents are getting older and I don't think I'm ready for it.
We spent the Holy Week in the Hospital. The first few days were tough. My dad often got seizures and involuntary tics from time to time due to his medication. It was very heartbreaking to watch but I held it in. I tried to be strong for my dad. Thankfully, my dad got better overtime. Now we're back home. He can speak clearly and can now move. His right hand still has limited movement but we're working on it with a physical therapist.
My mom on the other hand is relatively healthy. She and I take turns in taking care of my dad. I personally think my mom looks great for a 50+ year old but when I do look closely I notice wrinkles slowly appearing. I get worried because of the amount of stress she might be dealing with right now. That's why I help out as much as I can.
When we were growing up, our parents are there to take care of us. They are the ones who have the wisdom and the knowledge. For things to get flipped, feels kinda weird to me. But I know that it's the cycle of life. Eventually, children grow up and take care of their parents in the long run.
Realizing that my parents are getting old is kinda scary. They're the light and the strong foundation of the family. I never want to think that their time is fleeting. It's heartbreaking.
I want to enjoy my time with my parents. I will never turn down any requests from them. I will stop myself from getting frustrated everytime they ask about how to use modern technology. I will listen to all their stories frm their younger selves even when they tell them over and over again. I will always kiss and hug them no matter how old I get. I will always make sure that they know how much I love them.
I hope that my parents live to be 100. So then they will be able to see their grandchildren grow up, graduate, get married and maybe even have great-grandchildren. They are the best parents that I could have ever asked for. They taught me the meaning of true love, sacrifice and hard work. They mean everything to me.
There's not a day that I don't think about how great of a blessing it is that we're together and I am going to soak up each and every moment. They were always with me when I needed them, and I will be there for them until the day they no longer need me.
Thank You for taking time to read. Hopefully, I'll be able to post at least one article per day. Have a nice day everyone and don't forget to take care of yourselves. ❣️
Reconciliation and Healing 💕
April 28, 2022
As humans, all of us have unique minds, and each one has its own view or perception of the things that happen around us. Perhaps we see different situations in different lights or angles, and that is somehow influenced by our experiences, beliefs, and values. This may also be why we react differently even when faced with the same situation. But I think because of this, misunderstandings occur, which we can't avoid.
I'm not a big fan of drama and conflict. At least in my personal life. I've always tried to behave myself so as to not offend people and cause conflicts to happen. I'm not the type of person who enjoys being caught in a crossfire. But as people who have emotions, we can't really avoid the conflict. The biggest conflict I've had in my life was with a cousin of mine. It's a very long story. I'll just try to summarize it the best I can.
We were really close. I don't remember how old we were when we met but I think we knew each other ever since we were born. I love her a lot and she's obviously very important to me. She's very kind and loving. Sometimes she loves too much she ends up getting hurt. To me, she's like a fragile flower.
She's obviously very beautiful that's why lots of guys try to pursue a relationship with her. She ends up falling in love but these guys are young and immature and they end up hurting her.
When we were I think 19 years old. She got in a relationship with a younger guy and she really really loved him. She wanted him to be the one but their relationship was very toxic. But she was too blinded by love to see it.
They would fight almost everyday and she would always send me cryptic messages like these so I got worried.
*Translation:*
*"Please Jai 😔"*
*"He really wants to break up"*
*😣😣😣*
*"I can't go on"*
*Translation:*
*"I'm still hoping that he'll change his mind about breaking up 😔"*
*"I'm still hoping to soften his heart 😔"*
*"It's so hard 😔"*
I'm not gonna elaborate on what happened because it was a lot and if I'm gonna talk about it in details, it would take me days to write. (It's a whole novel in itself)
So long story short, The conflict got too big and we ended up not talking and ignoring each other's existence for almost 4 years. I didn't really get mad at her. I was just hurt. I may have been ignoring her for 4 years but during that time, I still think about her and I still cry when I thought of her. Obviously, I loved her like my own sister.
If you've read my past posts, you would know that I'm getting married next month. The guy I'm marrying is her cousin from her mom's side of the family. (I'm her cousin from her dad's side so no, me and my fiancé aren't related 😅). I'm starting a new chapter in my life and I don't want to go into that with heavy feelings of hurt and guilt. That's why I reached out to her on insta.
My message to her was this:
Hi old friend.
I don't know if you're still mad at me. Maybe. But I want to send this message because I'm starting a new chapter in my life and I want you to be a part of it. You were always meant to be a part of it but some of the choices we made lead us the other way. There's a lot of things to be said and I know we've hurt each other very badly. So I'm starting by saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I've wanted to say that for a long time but I never went through with it. I guess a part of me was still hurt and the other part of me was ashamed of the things that happened. Honestly, I never got over it. I still cry about you and I often wished I made different choices back then and some of my words got lost in translation.
I remember you said that you don't see me as your cousin anymore. I understand. I gave up on you when you were in a bad time. I was tired of everything. I was having problems with my own mental health. I know that you came to me with your problems because you know I would understand and comfort you but I failed you that time. Gi ingnan ko ni nanay nga i block sa ka because she knew nga I would treat your problem as my own problem nya dle sya gusto na ma stress ko. I didn't know it would get so big to the point nga we didn't acknowledge each other's presence for years. You might not believe me but all of those things started because I was worried about you. You always call or chat me about your relationship and I really was worried and believed that Junreyl was not the one for you. Based on the things you would tell me, I thought your relationship was toxic and I didn't want you to get hurt anymore but it wasn't my relationship to decide. I confided in a family member about my concerns but my words got twisted negatively. I regret telling this person everything. When things got out of hand, I bailed on you. BIGGEST MISTAKE.
I never meant for everything to escalate the way they did. But here we are.
One thing that really hurt me and was the reason nganong nag duha2 ko mu reach out for how many years is the message you sent Eden saying that I've always been mentally unstable or crazy since elementary school. It hurt me deeply considering that I was going through some mental health issues but I understand that you might have said that out of pure anger. I understand that very high emotions can make us say or do things that we don't really mean (speaking from experience).
I did not delete any pictures of us in my phone. I still cry everytime I think about you. I always check on your account from time to time to check on you and I want you to know that I'm proud of you and the Woman that you've become. When you were in quarantine dre sa boarding house ni nanay Liza, I wanted to visit your room si badly but I was too scared that you're still mad at me and you wouldn't appreciate seeing me.
A lot of things has been said but I guess what I'm really trying to say is. I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING. I KNOW I HURT YOU AND MY ACTIONS MADE YOU FEEL VERY BETRAYED. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU AND I REGRET EVRYTHING I SAID AND DONE. I don't really know if you would forgive me but I wont know unless I try. If you're not ready to forgive me, I'd understand.
And I know we haven't been in each other's life for some years but I want to let you know that I'm getting married next month. Just a simple celebration and I want you to be there if you have time to spare. The guy I'm marrying is your 2nd cousin from your mom's side and I'd love for you guys to meet.
Much love,
Jai (a.k.a Yabbs 🥺😢)
Long read huh? I was actually very anxious upon sending this message. I didn't know how she would react. She replied after a few days and she wrote:
Hello. Good evening.
First of all, it never really crossed my mind that you would still reach out to me pa because I know I have hurt you so bad. And that you wouldn’t want to associate anymore with the person that caused you so much pain. And because of that, I just kind of learn living my life without you na. But this is very surprising and it actually made me happy. I’m sorry too. Really, I am. I know I’ve said so many hurtful words to you and I want you to know that I didn’t really mean it. And I hope it will not hunt you anymore because rest assured it was never intended and that I said those words because of the overwhelming anger I felt because of what happened.
You’re one of the person that I trust the most with everything, that’s why I always run to you whenever I am so down and in pain because I know you will understand me no matter what. But I realized that that’s not how it works because people have limitations.
Especially that you are struggling with your mental health. I admit I was being selfish that time, because my relationship with Junreyl was already at the edge and I want it so badly to still work and because I wanted to make it work, I was becoming impulsive. I overlooked your situation. Sa kagustohan nakong ma save nako akong relationship with him, nasakitan na teka. All along I was fighting for a wrong relationship, for the wrong person. And you just there to make me realize about. But I was just ignoring the signs. And because I was so desperate during that time to save our relationship, napasagdan nalang sad teka nga napasakitan teka. I was soooo blinded by my emotions and I was so blinded by the wrong hope nga mag work pa mi.
I was so stupid to not see that God was actually putting you between us to help me save myself from that tragedy. If it weren’t for you, I might still be suffering that toxic relationship. After we broke up, naka ingon jod ko nga “Jai was right” and I was so ashamed that I was ignoring all your advices.
So didto nako gidawat nga bisan kanus-a siguro di najod na mag uli. I hurt you and your entire family. And I’m sincerely sorry. You, reaching out to me brings so much hope in my heart nga naa pa tay chance to create new memories. And I think that’s how inseparable we are. Gusto ko mubawi nimo. Sa tanang kasakit nga akong nahatag nimo.
And I want you to know that I already forgave you even before you have to say it. And I hope you will forgive me as well. For all the pain I’ve caused you.
And lastly, I want you to know that I’M SOOO HAPPY that you are getting married. I’ll be there on your wedding. ❤️ I’m on my way home na from Davao and I would be so happy to see you yabbs.
Love,
Raven
So you see, we didn't realize that we felt the same way. We both made mistakes and we both felt bad about everything that happened. There was never a villain between the two of us. I guess we needed the time apart to grow separately and realize both of our mistakes. It feels very freeing to let go of hard feelings. Life's too short to hold grudges. Instead, hug the people you love more, tell them you love them every single day, live life to the fullest with no regrets. ❤️
Thank you for taking time to read. ☺️ Have a great day everyone and remember:
The Most Wholesome Comment Section in Youtube
Hello Everyone. I hope everyone is having a good day. I haven't been very active in here lately. I've been busy with my small business and with wedding preparations that I totally forgot to post here. But here I am now. ☺️
Like any other person in the world, I have some moments when I feel down or sad. Usually, I turn to music to cheer me up. This is the music/video I usually play to cheer me up or just to relax.
(BT21) KOYA's Sleep Music
https://youtu.be/dkCW7cfrgBs
BT21 are a group of animated characters created by K-pop band BTS (Picture: Line Friends) You might have seen these cute little characters in your free sticker options in messaging apps like LINE or Facebook, but didn't know they were related to global K-pop icons BTS.
The melody is very beautiful accompanied by gentle whistling. I have always loved music and I believe that music is a language on its own. Even songs without words can convey a story and can make you a feel some type of way. The music in this youtube video for me feels like a warm hug and is telling me that everything is gonna be okay. I feel like it's telling me to let my feelings out and I end up crying. Not because I'm feeling sad at that moment but because I feel comforted and that I'm in a safe place to let it all out.
The music in this video is really great but that's not the only great thing about it. The comment section contains probably the most wholesome comments in the whole youtube community. So many positive advice, some people sharing their hardships with other people replying comforting words. These people who comment doesn't even know each other personally but they're very kind to each other.
These are just few of the 18,000 wholesome comments:
I really love reading these comments while listening to the music. There's a sense of comfort in knowing that you're not alone in your struggles and there are people who understands what you're going through. So to all of you out there who's stressed and tired, I recommend going to this link to listen and read. This might help you start the process of healing.
I'll be posting some updates and articles about my wedding prep journey in the next few days. I absolutely love planning events and I'm enjoying the process of planning my own wedding. I admit it's a little bit stressful but I know everything will be worth it when the big day comes. 💜
Have a great day everyone! 💟
My experience with Depression and Anxiety
Hello again everyone. How are you? I wasn't able to post yesterday because I had a lot of things I needed to do in our house.
Trigger warning‼️ There's gonna be some mentions of depression and anxiety in this so if you're sensitive with that then it would be better not to proceed with reading. Thank you 😊
In 2018 I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Social Anxiety. I got through it thankfully my family never gave up on me and supported me through my journey from one doctor to another, they always been there. Earlier today I was browsing my notes saved in my phone because I was planning to delete some. While scrolling through my notes I found an old note I wrote. I don't remember when and why I wrote it but I'm guessing I was in a low point in my life considering what I wrote.
So I'm gonna share it with you guys. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sharing this to get pity. I want to share this because I want people who went through a similar experience to know that there is hope. There's a light in the end of the tunnel. And I hope people who reads this can feel that they're not alone and there's someone who understands. So... here it is:
*"I really don't wanna live anymore. The world has gotten so dark for me. It feels like I can't be happy in any way. I've lost all hope in my life and everytime I tell myself that things are gonna get better I feel like I'm lying to myself. I don't wanna do anything. I don't wanna meet anyone. It's hard for me to get out of bed in the morning to go to school. Preparing to meet people to me feels like a battle. I've tried so hard to find my place in this world. I've transferred from school to school, shifted from one course to another just to find awhat's my purpose, what do I want to do in my life. All this time I've been trying to find answers to my questions but every single time that I try, I end up failing horribly. I'm TIRED. Not coz I'm lazy. I'm TIRED. Not just my body kind of tired. I feel a different kind of "tired". Tired of problems? Tired of failing? Tired of all the disappointments? Tired of everything? I don't know. I guess I'm tired of life in general. I don't wanna be alive anymore. why? Because it seems easier. It seems like it's the only way out of this misery. But I can't seem to do it. I can't seem to get the strength to end my own life. I don't know what will happen to me in the future. If I will ever get the strength to end my life? I don't know. Who knows? I guess no one. All I know is that I'm tired of everything."*
I was so down back then and honestly I often thought about ending it all. But here I am. I'm alive and happy. We will get through life. Things will eventually get better once you realize that you don't have to be alone in this journey. Seek help and get better. Have a good day everyone and keep safe.
Know Your Worth
Hello everyone. I hope you're all doing great today. I'm doing good and just like any other day, I got some things to share.
Trigger Warning ⚠️ There are mentions of abuse so if you're sensitive with that topic, it would be much better if you don't read.
So a few days ago, disturbing news broke out about a celebrity couple here in the Philippines. The actor Kit Thompson has been assaulting his girlfriend Ana Jalandoni. It was quite a surprise for Filipino netizens since the couple likes to post sweet photos with each other on their social media accounts. They looked so in love and happy in their photos. This got me thinking, we don't really know what happens in people's personal life based on what they post on the internet and abuse can look like anything. Some couples may look normal and happy but we don't really know what happens behind closed doors.
It's really important for men (men can get abused too) and women to be able to spot red flags early on in the relationship. Here's an article from mindbodygreen to give us an idea about what are some red flags in a relationship we shouldn't ignore. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/red-flags-in-relationships
Sometimes, we get too blinded by love that we can't really see these red flags and I know that choosing to end a relationship is not an easy decision to make even when the relationship is filled with conflict and mental/emotional pain, we think of the tiny joyful moments and hesitate to end things. Our attachment and emotional investments might prohibit us from looking at our relationships in an objective manner. You have to break free from these shackles.
Someone who truly loves you will never physically and emotionally hurt you. So don't deal with abusive behavior from someone who claims to love you. Walk out the door and never come back.
Know your worth. You are a priceless piece of art and nobody has the right to hurt you.
Lost and Found Friends
Hello everyone. I hope you're all having a great day. This is my first entry here and I'm so excited to share my thoughts and experiences with you guys. I'm glad I found this platform because I love to read and share my thoughts.
So... I don't know if you relate to this but when I was younger I always wished that I was older. When you're a kid with strict parents, there is no way that you haven't wished that to yourself. Having a lot of things that you're not permitted to do sucks (lol) especially when your friends get to do what they want.
I remember once I fought with my parents because I wanted to have 'freedom' lol I was just a dumb 14 year old kid. But anyway I wished that one day I would wake up and I'm already 30 years old. (in the Philippines, even when you're already 18 your parents still treat you like you're 13 years old lol) but now I know that if my wish came true I would have regretted it big time. Why? Because being 20+ years old was when the best moments in my life happened.
The start of the pandemic was awful but it was a blessing in disguise for me. I was always an introvert. I didn't go out, didn't hang out with friends, ~~I didn't have much friends to begin with~~, I didn't drink, ~~I didn't have anyone to drink with,~~ didn't go to parties, etc. I basically didn't open myself up to the world .🤣 Well at least not untill April 2020.
When the pandemic hit, obviously people got bored and that's when my best friend forced me to hang out with other friends. They weren't strangers to me but they were my classmates from high school that I lost touch with.
Since then, we started to hang out almost everyday. We did the most random shit, talked about crazy topics, tried any combination of alcohol (that we could afford coz we broke) 😂, we met new friends and lost some (traitor) friends, talked shit about our exes 🤭(sorry not sorry), I even met a guy ya'll (we're getting married this coming May. More updates soon.)
We're just a small group of friends. Just the 6 of us. I love my girls and each one of them is special to me. This may sound a bit corny but they made my dark world very colorful 🌈 and I will forever be thankful 💖. They're my Lost and Found friends and I promise to myself that I will never lose them again. ❣️
@Its_Jai
