Every day I try, every day I fail
Every night before I go to sleep I always tell myself that "I'll do better tomorrow" and make a to-do list for the following day. I even set an alarm to make sure that I'll be awake early in the morning. Then, I'll go to sleep really excited for tomorrow.
Krrrrrrng....
Oops, that's my alarm clock I unconsciously shut it off and then go back to sleep. I will get off my bed at 9:00 or 10:00 am without even folding my bedding, come downstairs, and look for something to eat for breakfast. After breakfast I will wait until 11:45 am and take a quick bath, then eat lunch after that. I will sit on the sofa all afternoon thinking whether or not should I do the things I planned for today last night. I will keep thinking about it and will lost tracj of the time until it's nearly evening. At 6:00 pm I usually open my phone and scroll down and up on social media even if I have previously seen some of those post. I will stop scrolling when my mother calls me to have dinner and then sleep afterwards. Then repeat this all again the next day.
Most of my days look like this. Plan everything out in the evening and then not do it. I know things I have planned out are the things that I really wanted to do and will help me get out of this boring cycle every day but I just don't have the courage to do it. I know it is because I am impatient, I don't trust the process, and I don't have faith. Even though I set goals again and again, I do not do a single thing to even get closer to it because I don't believe that I'll achieve it. That's why I am inconsistent. I always tell myself that "This isn't working" or "I am not making any progress or improvement"
I know this is not an ideal attitude and I hate myself because of this. I really wanted to be a better person. I don't want to be like this forever. It's hard but I am working on it by learning how to manage my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I am trying to tell myself that "This will work" instead of "This is not working." I also keep on reminding myself that these bad attitudes are what made me to fail big-time. Some of the goals I have I have right now are the same goals I had 5-6 years ago but I never achieved not get any closer to it because I don't have self-discipline, I am lazy, inconsistent, impatient, and I always want everything to come easy. I know this may sound too harsh but it's the truth and the only way I could think of moving on from the past is to accept it and take responsibility for my actions. Try to accept that the reason of my failure is none other than me.
I know becoming a better person and reaching our goals is a process. It takes time. That's why I try to do things everyday no matter how small just to add up to the progress. It doesn't matter if it's just cleaning my own room, exercising for only 3 minutes, basic drawing, talking or apologizing to my loved ones or whatever it is that is related to my goals. I know I just have to keep trying everyday even if everyday I fail. I know eventually I will get used to doing good stuffs and reach the goals I have set for myself.
Thank you so much for reading. I hope you're all safe :)
The Disadvantage of Filipino Close-Knit Family Ties
Filipinos are known for having close-knit relationship with their families which I think is an adorable trait because one gets to cherish their time with their family. This trait made a lot of families' bond stronger. Especially during Christmas Season, there are a lot of TV commercials and product endorsements featuring how close filipino families are. It is natural for all of us to give importance to our family because they took care of us when we're younger and help solve our problems even if we're adults already. For some of us it's true that "Family is the only real wealth" and "blood is thicker than water."
But as adorable this trait is, sometimes it still has a disadvantage. Of course I am not generalizing this but for some this may be true. Close-knit family ties sometimes leads to children being dependent to their parents even if the child has his/her own family. Here in the Philippines, it is a common scenario: The parents support their children and their children's children. Whereas in the western countries, if the child turned to an adolescent and is capable of working, they can work. This creates a sense of independence on the child's side. They become more self-reliant and learn how to stand at their own feet.
Another difference between the western culture and the Philippines is that in the Philippines when a child graduated high school and he/she wants to pursue his/her education and go to college, it is still the parent's burden. It is still the parent's responsibility to pay for college tuition and give allowances to their children. But, in the western culture, since the kid is already capable of working, going to college will be a parent and child's joint responsibility. Some doesn't even rely to their parents.
Not that close-family ties are bad, it is actually a good trait but children shouldn't be relying on their parents for everything. They should also know how to be independent because that is what will make them strong and resilient.
Thank you for reading. I hope you like it. Be safe ya'll (:
How do some of you guys manage to post here every single day? Jeez, I feel hopeless.
The Dilemma Of An Aspiring Writer
Have you ever been in one of those moments when you feel lilke writing but you cannot think of anything good to write? And when you force yourself to write, it's just unimpressive. Or has an interesting topic randomly crossed your mind while you're doing something else(e.g. cleaning your nails, sweeping the floor, folding clothes, etc.)?
These happen to me most of the time. Like earlier, I was cleaning my nails and a really interesting thought just popped up in my head. So, I rushed to my laptop and start typing it, but all of a sudden I cannot continue it anymore. I was just blocked. The ideas stopped flowing and I can't finish what I've started. This is a problem I encounter almost every day. Ideas start to flow while I'm doing something else, but when I make time to write, nothing flows anymore. This is really a struggle because most of the ideas that I wrote and published here are not even goo. When I try to write I easily get distracted by small things such as noise or a random movement of any object and the I lose all my focus and the article that I'm writing will turn into a mess. I'm just putting this out here; maybe I'll overcome this problem and write a good article soon. That's all. Thank you for reading. Be safe ya'll (:
Guys I just wanna share that one of my article was up voted by therandomrewarder and I am soooo happy. This is my first time to experience this here in read.cash. This is the best thing that happened to me today. It motivates me to write more interesting and quality articles :D
Not really my best day but tried my best to write :)
Toxic Filipino Traits
Filipinos are known for being hospitable, hardworking, resilient, cheerful, and optimistic. These are true; Filipinos are admired all over the world for these traits. However, there are also some unwanted traits that hinder Filipinos from being successful and somehow makes them toxic. Here are the well-known Filipino toxic traits:
Filipinos tend to complain a lot
This is considered as a toxic trait because why would one use his/her energy complaining instead of thinking of ways on how to get a certain thing done? The time wasted for complaining should be used on finding solutions/
Crab Mentality
This means bringing others down once they become successful. Why can't just be happy for your friends if they become successful? Why can't you celebrate your friend's success as your success?
Mañana Habit
This is also known as "Procrastination." Filipinos are really good procrastinators. If something needs to be done, they tend to just say "I'll do it later/tomorrow" instead of doing it right away. This often leads to cramming and unpolished results.
Ningas Kugon
This is the habit of getting something started but not finishing it. Example, one wants to learn how to play a guitar, but after a day or two of practicing, the guitar will just be dumped in a corner and not use it anymore. What a waste.
These are the traits that I still remember, if there is anything that you guys would like to add, feel free to comment.
Thank you and stay safe ya'll
You guys have any tips to overcome writer's block? I've been sitting here in front of my computer for quite some time now, and I haven't got any ideas yet :(
Thanks to the rain for driving the noise of the neighborhood away.
Everything Happens For A Reason
Hi guys, it's me again and I'm back with my third article. I hope you like it.
When the pandemic started, I felt so lost, I don't even know what I'm gonna do. I was so confused that I ended up quitting my 9-5 job. It wasn't my intention to quit my job though because I still wanted to earn and save like anyone in their early 20s. But my colleagues became so toxic + I don't want to compromise my health + I got really crazy and I can't even think straight that's why I quit. After that, I went home to my parents who were in the province.
The first month was really chaotic, I felt like I have made the worst decision of my life, I even slap my own face sometimes. I always blame myself. I called myself coward, worthless, and other nasty things. I guess it's because I had been so obsessed on making my own money that its absence leads me to think too much. It took me quite some time to convince myself to stay at home until things get a bit better. It was also what my parents wanted because they said that they were worried knowing that I'll be in the city where it's really crowded.
The following months turned grey, I felt like I was a robot. I have been doing the same things every single day. It brought anxiety and I overthink too much. Most of the time I was just staring blankly with my head full of thoughts.. I thought I was going crazy. There are times when I would mock my parents to let me go back to the city and apply for a job just so I could be free from my own thoughts. Of course, they didn't allow me and I get that. Whenever I mock them to let me go back to work, I knew it was half-hearted, I knew I was only doing it just so I could distract myself from my own thoughts and not because I want to have a job. There is always a voice in my head asking me "Do I really want to work now?" or "Do I really want this job?"
Deep down I know that I don't want to go back to my previous job, deep down I know there is something else that I want to do. I just never had the courage to start because I never thought I could. I was so afraid that I will just fail and I'd look like a total loser. It was a genuine part of me that I tried to suppress for so long.
The thing is, ever since I was a kid I've always been fond or writing, arts, and music. It's my stress reliever. It's like a breathe of fresh air to me. I have never given myself the chance to focus and hone these skill before because no one wants me doing that. Everyone wants me to focus only on my studies. Everyone around me think that these things are just distraction and should not be given ample amount of attention. So I just forget it and just do what everyone expects me to do; study, go to college, graduate, and go find a job. I thought it's fine. I though everything would work out fine after I graduate and find a job. But it's not. I felt like a machine that needs to go to a 9-5 job inside an office working with people who you don't even know.
But now that I don't have to choose between having a job and doing what I love, since I am just sitting in our house every day and I am really bored. I took the courage to start drawing and writing again and it gave me the satisfaction I never had for at least 10 years. Am I good at it? No. But I know there is always a room for improvement. Do I enjoy doing it? Hundred and one percent YES. Does it give me satisfaction? HELL YEA.
I guess the message that the circumstance is trying to convey is that everything happens for a reason. I mean, if all those things that I went through had not happened, will I be able now to do something that I really care about? No, right? I may have lost a job but I found something that I consider as a part of my identity and I can say it's worth risking. You may be in a bad situation now and you probable hate your life but things always end up falling into it's rightful place. We always end up doing the thing that we're supposed to do. No matter which path we take, it will keep on redirecting us to something that's meant for us. So stop stressing and just have faith that everything will be alright because it will be.
Thank you so much for reading guys. Criticisms are welcome.
Always be safe and take care :)
If a melody has Do-Re-Mi
And drawing has Anatomy
Why can't there be You and Me?
Mediocrity Sucks
Hi everyone! I hope ya'll are doing fine. This is my second article here in RC. I'm open for criticisms or any tips to help me improve my writing skills.
Are you one of those people who are considered as "mediocre?"
Have you ever tried something but never felt like you're good enough at it?
Have you ever wanted something so bad but feel like what you're doing won't make any great significance nor will it become something unforgettable?
It sucks right? You spent hours, days, weeks. months. or maybe even years of practicing and honing your skills for something but in the end it feels like it doesn't matter to anything or anyone at all. It's good but it's not good enough to be something remarkable, or or be something breathtaking.
It's like being invited in a party just for the sake of being invited but not because you're important. It is like being with a circle of friends but no one within that circle has a favorite on you. It's like being an option but never a priority, you are always there for them but they're pining for someone else. They will only appreciate you if there is no one else around then ditch you as soon as they find someone better. It's being in the stage but not being the main attraction.
It sucks trying when you feel like no one appreciates all the time, effort, and energy you put into something. I guess what people like this, people like me should keep in mind is to still keep trying no matter how much it sucks/ Maybe, just maybe our time will come soon. To those who consider themselves as "mediocre," to us, cheers. Hang in there. Let's not stop doing what we love no matter how hard it is :)
What do you think guys? Let me know :) If you like my articles you may hit subscribe, let's be friends!
Why others' opinion doesn't matter
Today's society is so messed up. So messed up that people find it really hard to be happy. People choose not to do the things they love and the things that can make them happy because of fear. Fear that the people around them might invalidate what they do. Fear on what their family, friend, and loved ones might say. Fear that they are not good enough at that thing.
People are fearful because they don't want to be rejected. They are slowly losing themselves for the sake of pleasing others. People cares so much about what others think of them. But, guess what? What they think of you is irrelevant and it is not your responsibility to be liked by the people around you. But, it is your responsibility and moral obligation to make yourself happy and fulfilled.
Want to start something but feel like you're not good enough? Do it anyway. Everybody was once a beginner. Stop seeking validation from other people. Stop caring about what others think. Once you do that, you'll find life becomes easier and simpler. You'll find out there's no lie on the saying, "The less you care, the happier you'll be."
Hi everyone! How are ya'll doing? I hope you're all safe xoxo
@Halloween