Academic failures in College
There are many reasons a student may not be serious throughout his or her academic years in schools especially in universities or college. It's obvious that not many students in higher institutions take their books seriously hence the reason why many fail academically. A university is a place full of many experiences that may contribute to a student's success or failure. Many a times students fail in school just because of the fact that they couldn't put enough seriousness to their academic pursuit.
It's often believed that once you get into university or college, you have your own free will as you have matured to some extent and should take responsibility for your actions and whatever you do. That's why it's impossible to beat or talk crap to a student who is not serious with school work since he or she is not a kid anymore. You can't start to beat an adult because he or she fails exams. There are other measures that could be put in place though. Talking about why students fail in school and not get serious with their academics may be as a result of many reasons which includes;
1. BAD PEER INFLUENCE.
Many students entered into college or university with a very bright and sound mind. However in the due course of time, they were influenced by their so called friends or mates in school which ultimately led to their being not serious with school anymore. Many bright students were led into thinking there are more better and shortcut ways to passing exams in school other than reading.
Some students were influenced by their peers in the form of adopting wayward lifestyles that may hinder their concentration with their academics. The popular adage says that "Show me your friend and I will show you who you're" explains how important is the role friends play in others' life. If you want to succeed and not being a failure inn school, then you must not be influenced by friends in a negative way. Know the kind of friends to keep because your friends determine your success or failure.
2. WRONG COURSE OF STUDY.
Many students take their study with levity hands because they're not studying their dream course. This always happens when a student cannot meet up with the required cut off mark to study this desired course and have to change to another course of study.
It is quite unfortunate that many students were given course that doesn't not match their strength and desire to study and may necessarily warrant failure on the part of the student in the long run. Many students are less interested in the course they're currently studying in school since it's not their dream course and it can't be changed due to some very special circumstances they don't have power over. And once their interest is not aligned with whatever course they were given, some of them lose interest immediately and all what they care about is just graduating irrespective of whatever grades they graduate with.
3. INABILITY TO STUDY HARD FOR EXAMS.
This is the most common reason why students fail in schools. Many students cannot study very well for exams and ultimately fail once they face their exams. Proper preparation avert failure they say. If you can't study hard for your exams as a student, then what's the guarantee of passing your exams?. Many students look for cheap ways to pass rather than reading and studying hard.
Building A Healthy Interpersonal Relationships
An interpersonal relationship is the nature of interaction that occurs between two or more people. People in an Interpersonal relationship may interact overtly, covertly, face-to-face or even anonymously. Interpersonal relationships occur between people who fill each other's explicit or implicit physical or emotional needs in some way. Your interpersonal relationships may occur with friends, family, co-workers, strangers, chat room participants, doctor or clients.
Interpersonal relationship refers to a strong bond between two or more people. Attraction between individuals brings them close to each other and eventually results in a strong interpersonal relationship. Interpersonal relationship is a close association or a acquaintance between two or more people. Interpersonal relationship can also be defined as the social association, connection or affiliation between two or more people.
Types of Interpersonal Relationship
The different types of Interpersonal Relationship are;
1. Peer Relationship; This is a relationship that exists among people within the same age bracket, political or social group, classmates, etc.
2. Platonic Relationship: This is the type of relationship that exists between people of the same or different genders without any intention of marriage or intimate affairs. It can exist between a man and a woman, boy and girl, etc.
3. Relationship Between Man and God: This is the relationship between a creator and His creatures.
4. Family Relationship: This exists between members of the same family. It is known as biological relationship.
5. Relationship Between people of the same gender and the opposite gender who agreed to become friends.
6. Profession/Business Relationship: This refers to a relationship among those who are associated by work or business.
7. Individual and Government: This is the relationship between an individual and government which may result from the individual dealing with the government. It may be tax payment or as a recipient of benefits.
**Skills That Can Promote Healthy Interpersonal Relationship**
The various skills that can promote healthy interpersonal relationship include:
1. Respect/cheerfulness: For any relationship to work out well, the people involved must learn to respect on another and be cheerful at all times.
2. Tolerance: For any relationship to last, people must learn to tolerate one another.
3. Patience/Endurance: Anybody involved in any kind of interpersonal relationship should learn to be patient and endure in any situation.
4. Honesty: Honesty is a key to a successful relationship; Partners of any form of inter-personal relationship should learn to be truthful and honest to each other for a lasting relationship.
5. Appreciation and Contentment: Friend should learn to appreciate one another for any little assistance rendered and should learn to be contented with the little things that they have.
6. Forgiveness: To avoid hatred,, friends in inter-personal relationship should forgive one another for any offence or else such relationship will not last. Counting and recording offences will not help any type of relationship.
7. Be A Patient Listener: Listen to what the other person has to say. Understand the other person's point of view as well before jumping to conclusions. Wrong perceptions of people lead to unnecessary confusion and misunderstandings.
8. Stay Positive At The Workplace: Do not crib over small things. No individual on this earth is perfect. Do not always find mistakes in others.
9. Responsibility and Accountability: Responsibility and accountability are two reliable indicators of maturity. Saying you are going to do something and then actually doing it is a sign of responsibility. This builds trust between yourself and those who rely on you and it encourages others to seek your counsel and assistance.
***In any relationship you might find yourself, build and maintain a healthy relationship***.
Some Behaviours of Drug Abuse and Ways of Preventing Drug Abuse (2)
Drug Abuse is a serious public health problem that affects almost every community and family in some way. Each year drug abuse causes millions of serious illnesses or injuries among people in nations. Drug abuse also plays a role in many major social problems, such as drugged driving, violence, stress, and child abuse.
**Drugs That Can be Abused**
Alcohol, Amphetamines , Anabolic, steroids, Caffeine, Cannabis, Cocaine, Ecstasy, Hallucinogens, Inhalants, Nicotine,Opiates,Phencyclidine,Sedative, Hypnotic, Or Antianxiety Drugs
**Signs And Symptoms Of Drug Abuse**
When someone is abusing drugs, there are often tell-tale signs and symptoms that are both physical and behavioural, including:
Sudden mood swings
Changes in normal behavior
Lack of hygiene and grooming
Withdrawal from friends and family
Loss of interest in normal social activities and hobbies
Changes in sleeping patterns
Bloodshot or glassy eyes
Constant sniffles or runny nose.
**Behaviours Of Drug Abuse**
1. Impulsive Behaviour: Impulsivity is said to be one of the most common traits among addicts. Often called 'black and white thinking', impulsive people tend to see every situation (or possible situation) as all-or-nothing. It can be seen in exercise, cleaning the house or even eating - they either ho all the way or do nothing at all. Impulsivity can also be related to instant gratification. Impulsive people seek to be happy in the moment instead of holding out for better things and making long-term goals.
2. Compulsive Behaviour: A compulsion is the irresistible urge to do something (taking drugs, drinking alcohol, binge eating) despite a conscious desire not to.
3. Nonconformity: A large number of addicts place a high value on nonconformity and pride themselves on being different to others. While it is great to be an individual, when taken to extreme it often causes social alienation and reclusiveness.
4. Low Self-esteem; Low self-esteem is something that affects far more people than you may realise. Feelings of inadequacy, depression, shyness in front of others or even full-blown social anxiety disorder will cause many people to use substances as a way of gaining courage and confidence (at least momentarily).
5. Inability To Deal With Stress; People who have a hard time dealing with stress are at a higher risk of addiction because many people will use drugs, alcohol or food as a way of coping. When the stress does not stop, they will seek more and more of the substance to alleviate the symptoms.
**Ways of Preventing Drug Abuse**
1. Effectively Deal With Peer Pressure: The biggest reason teens start using drugs is because their friends utilize peer pressure. No one like yo be left out, and teens ( and yes, some adults, too) find themselves doing things they normally would not do, just to fit in. In these cases, you need to either find a group of friends that will not pressure you into doing harmful things, or you need to find a good way to say no. Teens should prepare a good exercise or plan ahead of time, to keep from giving into tempting situations.
2. Deal With Life Pressure; People today are overworked and overwhelmed, and often feel like a good break or a reward is deserved. But in the end, drugs only make life more stressful - and many of us all too often fail to recognize this in the moment. To prevent using drugs as a reward, find other ways to handle stress and unwind. Take up exercising, read a good book, volunteer with the needy, and create something. Anything positive and relaxing helps take the mind oof using drugs to relieve stress.
3. Seek Help For Mental Illness: Mental Illness and substance abuse often go hand-in-hand. Those with a mental illness may turn drugs as a way to ease the pain. Those suffering from some form of mental illness, such as anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress disorder should seek the help of a trained professional for treatment before it leads to substance abuse.
4. Examine The Risk Factors: If you are aware of the biological, environmental and physical risk factors you possess, you are more likely to overcome them. A history of substance abuse in the family, living in a social setting that glorifies drug abuse and/or family life that models drug abuse can be risk factors.
5. Keep A Well-balanced Life: People take up drugs when something in their life is not working, or when they are unhappy about their lives or where their lives are going. Look at life's big picture, and have priorities in order.
Shortcomings of the African educational system
For some students, studying isn't much of a priority to them. Many undergo schooling especially in Africa because it seems like the only way to have a successful and good life. No matter the reason for schooling, there are still many others who don't have a clear goal or reasons for attending school. Hence most fail while they are in school. While some students cannot cope with the rigours of the schooling system, they eventually dropped out of school to engage in other things.
Considering the schooling system of some African states like Nigeria where you have to read a lot of books and memorize many stuffs before you can pass exams. Cramming is an order of the day in Nigeria Schools. You may find it difficult to pass if you can't cram. Most lecturers in Nigeria universities wants you to write in the exams what he has taught you, in the same way and manner. You are not allowed to develop your own ideas or concepts. If you as a student probably decided to give the lecturer more than he asked for during exams you might be marked down. Many lecturers in the present schooling system doesn't give room for innovative thinking on the part of the students. That is why schools produce many unqualified graduates who are not innovative enough at the end of the day. Some lecturers are even fond of passing obsolete knowledge to their students. You see some lecturers teaching the same knowledge they were being taught when they were once an undergraduates, they are the set of lecturers who still haven't blended with the modern trends in terms of teaching and learning. They are not up to date and ultimately affects their students too.
Another shortcoming is the issue of too much theories and less practicals. Funnily enough, I heard of a story of a graduate from Electrical engineering department that can't fix a small problem from wire mismatch. Sometimes the students in such situations are not to be blamed, why? because they have been introduced only to theoretical aspects of their field with less or no practical knowledge. That's why we are still lagging behind in the educational system compared to other educational systems of other developed nations. We have to develop a curriculum that embraces practicals as well as theories too. It shouldn't be one sided.
Should we talk about the preference of private institutions to public universities? In Nigeria, people prefer private universities to public one because of many reasons. First, Academic calendar is very fast in private universities because of less or no strike at all. Meanwhile most public universities especially the federal universities engage in frequent strike actions when their demands are not met or due to other reasons. In private universities, many students believed in less workload as a student compared to public universities where you have to read strenuously before you pass. If not for the fact that private universities are expensive than the government owned universities, most people will have been in private universities with little people in the public universities.
Private universities are still preferable to Government owned universities because the former is always well maintained and filled with good infrastructures that may be preferred more than that of the former. There are many broken chairs and seats in many lecture rooms in public universities because of the misplaced priority from government.
Those are some of the shortcomings of the African educational system. You can add more points to the discourse.
Drugs an Drug Abuse (1)
Drug is any substance (with the exception of food and water) which, when taken into the body, alters the body's function either physically and/ or psychologically. Drugs may be legal (e.g. alcohol, caffeine and tobacco) or illegal (e.g.cannabis, ecstasy, cocaine and heroin). The vast majority of drugs are used to treat medical conditions, both physical and mental. Some however are used outside the medical setting for their effects on the mind.
The use of drugs have been abused in the society to some extent, people now take drugs to alter their mood, thinking, and behaviour such as Depressants ( alcohol, heroin, cannabis) Stimulants ( nicotine, caffeine, cocaine) and Hallucinogens (ecstasy and cannabis).
Drug Abuse is a serious public health problem that affects almost every community and family in some way. Each year drug abuse causes millions of serious illnesses or injuries among people in nations. Drug abuse also plays a role in many major social problems, such as drugged driving, violence, stress, and child abuse.
Drug abuse can lead to homelessness, crime, and missed work or problems with keeping a job. It harms unborn babies and destroys families. There are different types of treatment for drug abuse. From prescription drugs and over-the-counter medications to street drugs and alcohol, virtually and drug can be abused. While Illicit drugs like heroin and cocaine are abused anytime they are used, prescription drugs are abused whenever they are used in a manner other than as intended, or by someone other than to whom they were prescribed. Most drugs and other chemical substances are helpful when used properly. Unfortunately, the misuse if medications and drugs-both legal and illegal, as well as alcohol and tobacco-is a growing problem in the older population.
The terms "drug abuse" or "substance abuse" is defined as the use of chemical substances that lead to an increased risk of problems and an inability to control the use of the substance. Drug abuse occur when you are not able to control your use of prescribed drugs or are using an illegal substance to the point that it interferes with your ability to function.
Causes of Drug Abuse
1. Anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression or other mental illness. Mental illness is such a burden for some people they will try just about anything to relieve the pain. Drugs or alcohol can temporarily make the person feel 'normal' again, like they remember feeling in the past. Mental illness is scary for the individual experiencing it, so they are afraid to go to a doctor or family member for help and instead turn to drugs or alcohol to try and solve the problem on their own.
2. Boredom; Boredom is a big factor in drug abuse in teens and young adults. People in this age bracket generally do not have bills, jobs and all the stresses that go along with adulthood. So it is easier to become bored and want to try something new and exciting. Drug use is often thought of as a way to escape the mundane world and enter an altered reality.
3. Relieve of Stress; Our modern world is full of new strains and stresses that humans have never experienced in the past. Although many things in life are now easier than ever, the burdens are also very high. Simply having a family, maintaining a household, and holding a job are huge stress factors. Some drugs are viewed as a means of relaxation - a way to calm the storm in your mind. Although drugs can be very effective at doing that, there can be serious side effects.
4. Rationalization: People figure if a drug is prescribed by a doctor, it must be okay. It is easy for an individual to rationalize using a drug because it came from a doctor. The thinking goes like this "it was prescribed to someone I know for the same problem I am having, so it makes, it should work for me too". The dangerous part about this rationalization is that this can lead to mixing of drugs, overdose, unintended side effects and / or dependency.
5. To Keep Fit: When hanging out with friends, it is easy for people to want to fit in and seem like one of the crew. If others are drinking or doing drugs, it is very likely for someone to fall into that trap. Peer pressure can be a tremendous force causing someone to try things they would normally not try on their own.
Selflessness
The rate of greediness, selfishness, and corruption in our society is alarming, and this is so because the level of selflessness in our society is very low, we do not do what we preach which is love. We only love ourselves and not love our neighbors as our ourselves
People now do things to please themselves not thinking on the hurt or harm it will have on others. Selfishness has taken over in our society. Selflessness is about realizing that life isn't just about your own needs and preferences, but rather looking out for another's as well.
Selflessness is the quality of not putting yourself first but being willing to give other people your time, money, efforts, and other resources at your disposal. It is basically an unselfish concern for the welfare of others. Before we do things in our home, community, workplace and society at large we should consider the effect it will have on others and not just the benefits we'll derive from doing that thing.
Selflessness means putting your community's needs above your own instead of always acting in your own interest. Acting selflessly is not easy, but the more you practice it the better you get at being kind and generous more often. When you make a habit of taking action to help others feel good and make the world a better place, you will see that bring selfless can actually make you happy. Selflessness is perhaps the quality that can change one's life so much, thought it may not sound appealing but it adds sure a great value to life, because when we help other people and their needs are met, we feel a lot happier to see them happy.
Selflessness is when your care for something is so strong that you would do anything for it. It's when you're so impressed and in awe of a person, that when in his presence, your own needs do not feel so significant anymore. It is when something is so special and dear to you then your very existence.
***A selfish life is a meaningless life.***
Selflessness means support and help we give you others without expectation of reward. Selflessness, which is an act or culture of doing things that are beneficial to others irrespective of personal costs, is a great value which society advocates. Selflessness has to do with being generous (generosity is the heart of selflessness) and loyal. It pays in the long run to be selfless because someday we will reap the fruits of the seeds of selflessness that we have sown. We should bear in mind that if we must give to people depending on the circumstances it is better to give secretly and give something to someone that can never repay you, even if the person can repay us, we should not offer our resources with the mindset of getting a repayment.
**Benefits of Selflessness**
The majority of the advantages you gain from being selfless are inner benefits. It feels really good when you can help people out who are in a bad situation. Sometimes the smallest action or caring words can make a big difference in someone's life .Some of the benefits of being a selfless person include;
1. A selfless person is loved by the people and such a person will be treated nicely. Society loves a selfless human being.
2. The more selfless service you do the more successful you will become.
3. It feels good when you help out someone in a bad situation. The feeling of being useful to help others by doing a good thing and what is right is an incomparable feeling.
I end my article with this world.
Being selfless is a mindset.
If selfishness is the key to being miserable, then selflessness must be the key to being happy.
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not (Galatians 6: 9 )
There is power in self-sacrifice.
The Rewards of Education
When we are talking about literacy, it goes beyond the ability to read and write. In contemporary times, literacy span across many different fields of life. There is what we called computer literacy which is concerned with the ability to use the computer, to be knowledgeable about computer processes and how to do some common tasks on the computer. Literacy has also spanned through many forms such as functional literacy, basic literacy etc.
The most basic institution where literacy is being imparted is the school. The school serves as an educational ground for different types of learning. The advantages of being educated is too way numerous that it cannot be overemphasized. Education helps to be well responsible and live right in the community or society we find ourselves. Education helps people to optimize their minds in making the best out of themselves.
Talking about illiteracy, there are many reasons why people still wallow in the mud of illiteracy. For some people especially children, lack of family support can be cause of illiteracy. It's well obvious that education is not free as it requires spending because one has to go to school to become educated and that requires funds. A child that comes from a poverty stricken family may find it difficult to go to school. In other way, lack of family support as one of the causes of illiteracy may not necessarily based on the funds for education. Sometimes a child deficiency probably in academics may be seen as a hindrance to his or her academic progression in the parents' eyes and may not be motivated to send such child to school.
Literacy may not thrive in a place where there is lack of awareness, most especially in rural areas. When people are not given the necessary awareness on why education is needed or important to acquire, such people may not understand why it is important for them to go to school thereby making the level of illiteracy to be higher.
ADVANTAGES OF BEING EDUCATED.
Being literate or educated has a lot of benefits to whoever is educated. While most believed that by going to school and being educated will help them acquire good jobs and live the best life. Although it's not a bad idea, however being educated goes more and far beyond that idea. Education opens us to a world of many possibilities and enlarge our minds. It helps us to think in an optimal way. Education helps us to explore many things. Uneducated people may be narrow minded but educated people have a broad mind. They can pick opportunities and utilize it more better than those who are not educated.
Literacy improves self esteem as an educated people are not looked down upon anywhere they find themselves. Being literate or educated helps people to be empowered in order to become socio-economically self reliant. They boost the economy of their location through the economic activities they engage in. The economic rewards of education is great. Increasing individual's income and economic growth are some of the economic rewards because education has been proven to be one of the major determinant of individuals' income simply because the more people have access to knowledge, the more they engage in productive activities that boost a nation's economy.
Human Values
*" Values are like fingerprints. Nobody's*
*are the same , but you leave them*
*all over everything you do ".*
**Elvis Presley**
*" Values aren't buses...... They are not*
*supposed to get you anywhere.*
*They are supposed to define*
*who you are".*
**Jennifer Cruise**
Generally, value has been taken to mean moral ideas, general conceptions or orientations towards the world or sometimes simply interests, attitudes, preferences, needs, sentiments and dispositions. Values are generally received through cultural means especially transmission from parents to children, society at large to the upcoming generation. We should bear in mind that value can be personal or cultural, positive or negative, intrinsic or extrinsic among other transmission from parents to children, society at large to the upcoming generation. We should bear in mind that value can be personal or cultural, positive or negative, intrinsic or extrinsic among other forms of it.
The concept of value is cloudy based on the fact that it can mean several things to several people depending on its usage. Value can be seen as the worth of a thing. It can also be viewed as the estimate or monetary worth of an asset or of having a high opinion about someone or a thing. For example, when someone says " I value my life or I value a book". It means that such a person cherishes or loves his life or book. Values are a person's or society's beliefs about good behaviour and what things are important.
Values are the principles, standards, convictions and beliefs that people adopt as their guidelines in daily activities. Values can also be described as a set of consistent measures and behaviours that individuals choose to practice in the pursuit of doing what is right or what is expected of them by the society.
Values are collective conception of what is considered good, desirable and proper or bad, undesirable and improper in a culture. In simple words, values help to shape our belief about what is good and desirable, it helps to identify that a person's behaviour or action is good or bad. One can often identity the values of a society by nothing which people receive honour and respect and what a society embraces and shuns.
There are many importance attached to Values, below are list of few and they include;
1) **Values are general principles that regulate our day to day behaviour.** Our lives are guided by principles, standards, beliefs that helps to regulate how we behave in the society day by day, because some people in the society might want to act out of appropriate behaviour but our values help us to control and regulate or behaviour.
2) **Values encourages a sense of responsibility and hard-work among citizens which will result in the progress of the society at large.** Values are embedded with different forms which include discipline, integrity and hard-work. A person of values will work with this forms which will in turn provide a responsible and hardworking citizens in the society.
3) **Values modify our attitudes and feelings towards other people through tolerance of different opinions and behaviour**. They influence people's behaviour and serve as criteria for evaluating the actions of others.
Values promote love in the society, a cruel and wicked society is as a result of low level of values. Values assists youths to resist peer pressure in the society.
4**) Values guide people towards the achievement of declared objectives.** Our values are important because they help us to grow and develop so as to help us to create the future we want to experience.
5) **Values promote unity, harmony and cooperation in the society**, they build societies, and integrate social relations. Values have a great role to play in the conduct of social life.
**Types of Values**
Honesty
integrity
Cooperation
Hard-work
Patriotism
Selflessness
Trust
Team spirit
Equality
and many more
***Our values inform our thoughts, words and actions***.
Importance of Responsible Parenthood (2)
In continuation of the article Responsible Parenthood (1) https://read.cash/@Gabbie77/responsible-parenthood-1-bb9cfd82 which was about;
what is Responsible Parenthood?
Parenting as an enormous and huge responsibilities
How Parenting can shape the life of a child
Factors that are responsible for all round development of a child
Parental factors as the utmost important one
Responsible Parenthood resulting into Good Leaders of tomorrow in the society
Parent as an immediate role model to their children
Responsible Parenthood, Responsible Society
***In this article I will be writing on the roles of responsible parents and the importance of responsible parenthood***
Responsible parenthood suggests the responsibilities of parents to guide, protect and provide for the basic needs of their children. A good and effective responsibilities will have a positive impact on the life of a child, a parent who wish to have a responsible and well-mannered child will have to play a responsible roles and duties on their child in order to guide, protect and provide for the basic needs of their children.
Parents need to effectively carry out their duties towards their children in order to attain a responsible parenthood.
Responsible parenthood entails that a parent is able to cater for the financial, emotional, psychological, material, physical and spiritual needs of a child among other needs. Responsible parenthood is the will and ability of parents to respect and do the needs and aspirations of the family and children
**(I) Roles of Responsible Parents**
Parenting is not an easy task, so parents are saddled with the responsibility of taking proper care of their children, responsible parenthood require the ability of the parents to effectively carry out their duties and roles towards their children. Some roles of responsible parents include;
1. Provision of various needs for the family. It is the duty of the parents to provide for the financial, emotional, psychological needs of their children among other needs, the parents must prove they are responsible by caring emotionally for their children
2. Parents are responsible for the education of their children, both quality education at home and school, , they empower their children with the necessary skills that they require to face life's challenge ahead of them. It is the priority of the mother to train the children on basic household chores and help the children to be responsible.
3. They serve as good role model to their children, they also make sure they earn their respect and discipline their children when they are wrong but they should not be too hard on them
4. Parents should give listening ears to their children as they(children) have a lot of questions on their minds that they need answer to. They provide children with consistent schedules, routines, and relationships. They set healthy relationship structures with their children.
5. Parents are responsible to help their children understand various societal beliefs and help them fit well into the society. Responsible parenting also involves teaching children to respect others' opinions and to develop their own opinions too. Tolerance of others is a true civic virtue.
**(II) Importance Of Responsible Parenthood**
Responsible parenting is vitally important for society, the child and family.
1. Responsible parents will produce good children who will produce good children who will turn out to be good citizens that will contribute positively to national development. A crime free society will surely enjoy peace and progress.
2. Children who have been taught values by responsible parents will exhibit in the society and make the society a better place to live in. Responsible parents teach their children about honesty, integrity, justice, selflessness and such children will shun corruption and this will help the society to progress.
3. The nation will excel among other nations when children are properly brought up by responsible parents. Responsible parents see to the education of their children and such they will become future leaders to steer the wheel of the nation forward.
It is crystal clear from the roles and importance of responsible parenthood that responsible parenting and civic virtues are intimately linked. ***If we want to ensure that our society is a just and tolerant one, governed by moral principles, that we must all strive to be good and responsible parents***.
Managing your emotions
Emotional intelligence can be described as the ability and capacity to be able to manage our emotional feelings as it related to ourselves and people around us. It includes understanding and knowing our feelings or how we feel and the capacity to manage then. We all have emotions as human beings, it's part of what makes us human. Compassion, sadness, fear etc are all part of emotions people feels almost every day of their lives. Human emotions are based on our human nature and situations. Feelings such as surprise, ecstasy, grief, pain, fear, sorrow, abandonment, anxiety, stress, anguish, embarrassment, happiness etc. The capacity to manage each and every one of these is called emotional intelligence. To be considered yourself emotional intelligent, then you must be able to manage and contain your emotional feelings listed above. You must be able to manage your fear, your stress, anguish etc. Then you can be considered emotional intelligent if you can be able to contain and manage your emotions. Sometimes a person may be intelligent in books, but may lack emotional intelligence. Such may start shaking at the moment of fear situation.
While some of these emotions may be bad, not all are toxic or evil. However there are toxic, poisonous and destructive emotions such as untamed anger, malice, envy, bitterness, hatred etc. If these kind of emotions are not properly managed by their bearer, it may leads to more disastrous situations. Since emotional intelligence deals with how we can manage our emotions and relate better with others. Here are some steps to take in order to be emotionally balanced.
1. SELF EXPRESSION AND EMPATHY.
When dealing with emotions like anger, anguish or stress over another person, we can get rid of such emotional imbalance by trying to have empathy towards the person you are directing the emotions to. Sometimes we get angry emotions over people because we don't understand them or how they feel. Another step to take in balancing your emotions is through self expression, you should always find an appropriate way and time to politely express your feelings instead of keeping it all to yourself.
2. SELF MOTIVATION.
A good way to manage our emotions is through motivating your own self. Regardless of the situation or circumstance, rather than being depressed, moody, sad, aggressive, try to encourage yourself and maintain a stable temper. Don't be bothered with things that override your emotions. Don't let the situation influence in a very much way your emotions such as temper.
3. SELF CONTROL OR DISCIPLINE.
You can regulate your emotions by putting it under check so that it does not take over you or consume you. Emotions such as anger, sadness, sorrow etc can be dealed with by self control. Discipline yourself to get rid of emotions that may be harmful or detrimental to your well being.
Emotions shouldn't control us but we should be able to tame and manage them for . Desires that are bad should be tamed so as to not leads to destruction.
Investing rightly
When talking about investment, people narrowly think about money alone. Investment may comes in different forms and ways. You can invest with your money on a lucrative business for high returns at some future date. People also invest on their children by giving them qualitative education so that later in life they can be something great and rewards their parents in the long run. People primary invest to earn much more of their capital in the future. Investing in your education or your children's is a wise decision to make because by doing so, you are preparing yourself and your children for a better and securing future.
Sometimes people invest in a right way, others invest in ways that are wrong. Some people invest in assets that yield more income for them, this is exactly what the rich does that makes them more rich. While the poor invest in liabilities that makes them more poor. The latter can be considered some form of bad investment.
If we should consider gambling, it can be seen as a form of investment too, but is it legit or safe? well it depends based on many reasons or factors. Gambling is a form of investment that is considered unsafe and addictive and should be discouraged especially among the youth.
One of the things to note about investment is that you should invest in businesses(like real estates, stocks, shares, contracts etc) or opportunities that you have understanding or experience in. Don't invest in businesses you don't know much about it. It's also important to avoided get-rich-quick schemes like gambling that was mentioned earlier. Many people have the notion of borrowing money that isn't their own to invest. Do not accumulate debt or pile up debt in the name of investment. The fact about investment is you don't know the specific amount of returns you are going to earn, and it's often advised that you invest only what you can afford especially when dealing with trades like crypto currency trading which is unstable in nature. Remember that in crypto currency, you have to invest after making your own research and not because someone asked you to invest. It's not a guarantee against loss.
DYOR(Do your own research) is a term in crypto which helps you to analyse and research properly on crypto currency before attempt to buy any coins or token.
There are many reasons why investing may be considered. Instead of spending extravagantly, unplanned or impulsive spending, you can do well to save to invest some if your income. Reasons for investing may be;
1. WEALTH CREATION.
When you invest your money in a good business, it ultimately grow and compound more over time. For example if you buy shares or stock in a company. You earned money and your wealth increases over time.
2. ACCOMPLISH FINANCIAL GOALS. Sometimes you have some goals to be met which could not be possibly meet up with the current amount of money you have with you. You can then invest to help you reach bigger financial goals. The returns on your investment may be used towards buying a new car, getting your children through schools and other financial goals.
3. BENEFITS ON RETIREMENT. Many people invest in businesses before they reach retirement age. This will help them live a comfortable lifestyle even after been retired. It's advisable to invest while you are still earning so as to create a mass of funds that can be used when you retire. Investing will provides you with financial security when you reach the retirement age.
Many people have their personal reasons for investing, you could also share with me some of the reasons why you invest in your businesses or other business.
Desirable Social etiquettes (2)
**1. Never comment negatively on someone's weight in public**. Most times we body shamed others thinking it's a normal deal. Some comment in a prerogative manner about how others are more fat or obese. It's not always a good thing to talk down on a person in terms of what and how their body structures look like. Many people who you pass your comment negatively on may be depressed about it. Some people have even committed suicide based on the fact that they were being talked down on. Some people can't handle insults or bad comments being passed on them.
Good social etiquette demands that you respect others as they are. Body shaming is not good and it's very bad. It creates toxic relationships in a society. If you wanted to pass a information on how someone could possibly watch and maintain their weight, you can speak respectably with that person in private rather than embarrassing such person in public.
**2. When someone takes you out for a free lunch or dinner, be modest while you are being given a free treat.** Do not use the opportunity to take advantage of your host. Many people always think of this opportunity as a way to rip off ostentatiously on their host. They will try to pick the most expensive dish or meal on the menu. Be modest and exercise moderation in everything you are being treated to, like the food given or drinks. It shows you are not a glutton or someone who is so desperate to eat.
Also, it's better not to take your friends along except you are asked to. Your host may prefer some privacy with you only and going out with friends will only show your lack of empathy.
**3.** As a young person or teenagers, it's believed especially in the African society that you must not interrupt with elders when they are talking except being asked to. The elders in this context may includes parents, school teachers, aged people and so on. It shows that you have respect for them. Interrupting them when talking will show rudeness on the part of you as a child. Except you are given platform to speak, don't try to boast of your intelligence before them.
4. Also, another good social etiquette to be considered is invading other's people privacy through phone usage. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, do not swipe left or right as you never know what's next. Don't be too inquisitive as to know other contents you are not allowed to explore. Sometimes a phone contains confidential information that must not be leaked out to the third parties.
5. If your friend or your colleague tells you they have an appointment with the doctor, it is not polite to ask what for? or what it's all about?. Do not put them into an uncomfortable position to talk about what they don't want to say. If they wanted to tell you the reason for their appointment, they will mention it right away when discussing with you. You can just ask mildly like "hope you are okay?". If you posed such questions to them and they are willing to speak about it they will, if not don't bother them about it.
6. Other bad social etiquettes that must be avoided by youths in the public space includes littering with environment with wastes and litters, driving against traffic or breaking traffic laws as it may cause accidents. Rushing for foods or chairs in a public gathering shows you are not educated or learned individual and it's very common among the youth especially in a more aggressive environment. Lack of good social etiquette may leads to insults, dishonesty, fist fights and many other unfortunate incidents.
Some social etiquettes to follow (1)
Etiquettes are the generally accepted ways of behaving in a particular place or society. Etiquettes are modes of conduct that are deemed either good or bad within a society by the people. This concept of etiquette is applicable to every areas of life. It's applicable in such facets of life like the social life, business life, professional life, spiritual life and so on. When someone shows the acceptable behaviors in the society, such person can be deemed capable to exhibit good etiquette.
When another person display unacceptable or antisocial behaviors in the society, then that person could be seen as someone possessing bad etiquette. The need for etiquette cannot be over emphasized. People around us must not be ashamed or embarrassed by our behavioral display in the society. We shouldn't behave in an illogical or irrational way. Impatience and disrespect for one another will be the outcome of a society without an ordained social etiquette to follow. Etiquette teaches us everything concerning our ways of life, in terms of what to eat and how to eat, how to talk, how to relate with others around us. Etiquette teaches us how to walk and behave in the society.
Good etiquette helps us to earn the respect of people around us. It inculcate a spirit of trust and loyalty in individuals because such becomes more responsible and mature when faced with life challenges. ***Etiquette improves relationships and social capital between people***. There are some compiled social etiquettes expected of us to follow when we are dealing with others in the society.
**1. When you are invited to a social** gathering or occasion, do not be in a haste to take front seat until your host brings you up. Sometimes we may feel elevated more than the host feels of us. In order to preserve our humility and respect, it's better not in haste to take front seats or seats of position when called to a meeting.
It's ideal when you are being called from where you are seated to come to the front seat. It will show you are being honored as you deserved it. If perhaps you sit in the front seat without being asked to in an occasion, someone of more importance or high social standing may be the owner of the seat you are in and it won't go well with you asking you to stand up for such person.
**2. Return money that you borrowed even before the lender starts asking of it.** Many people think that they can run away with the money they borrowed probably from their friends or anybody else. One of a good social etiquette is to return money or any other valuable materials you were borrowed when it's time to return them. It shows you have integrity and good character. Don't let your friend who borrowed you money start to ask of it or embarrass you before you pay. Some people have the idea that they would only pay what they borrowed when the lender starts disturbing them.
**3. Do not call someone more than two times continuously on the phone.** Some people have such bad habit of disturbing someone else with calls. Two missed calls is enough for a person with good social etiquette. If they didn't pick or return your calls presume they have something important to attend to.
Etiquette is not some hard rules created by difficult people. Good etiquette bind a society together and makes us get to live among others in the society more responsibly.
Relational Gap between Parents and their Children
If we are to look at one of the factors that cause disunity and separation in families today, then relational gap could be one of those factors that is attributed to it. It is obvious that there is a generational gap between parents and their children. If we are to compare the two generations of parents and their children, we would observe there are many considerate differences in the lifestyles, habits, likes and dislikes of both generations due to age gap. It's no secret that these days, these gaps are widening by width and bounds. This lack of understanding of social, moral, political, religious opinion leads to lack of acceptance which is the primary reason families break.
Many things could be the causes of relational gap between parents and children. Such could be;
1. DYNAMIC NATURE OF CULTURE.
Culture shift can be a reason for relational gap between parents and their children. During the generation of the parents when they were still youths, there might be a conventional way with which things were done during their time but has lost relevance in the contemporary times. If such parents are not understanding enough to blend with the present times, they might find themselves in constant conflicts with their children.
For instance, one particular way of life such as dressing has been modified contemporarily through innovation, invention or discovery. By implication, parents may challenge in terms of cultural modification their children over their cultural lifestyles as opposed to what they have already experienced in their days.
2. NEED FOR SPACE.
Another cause of relational gap between parents and their children is the need for space. While many children in their teen age feels they need a space for discovering themselves and experimenting with new things, it may cause some kind of gap between both parties. Parents often feel protective about their children and they like to be involved and be informed about the things that are happening in their children's life. If a child appreciates secrecy and less of being over protective over him, he or she may dislike his or her parents if they still don't give him a breathing space. Many parents unintentionally create gap between themselves and their children through this. Know the nature of your children and be sure to relate with them based on their differences.
3. LITTLE OR NO ATTENTION OR SUPPORT.
Even though it is explained in the number two about the need for space, nevertheless this doesn't guarantee that you as a parent shun or abandon your wards totally with no attention or support whatsoever. The busy schedule of many parents as a result of their jobs, career or other reasons, has severed the relationship they have with their children. A child who longs for the attention of his or her parents without any support from them will feel lonely and may even develop hatred for his or her parents over time. This may create a relational gap between them. Children suffering from little or no attention from parents usually suffer from emotional or psychological damage or trauma.
4. DIFFERENCES IN THOUGHT-FLOW OR OPINIONS.
Parents' morals and their views of life may be very different from their children's. If they cannot come into understanding how each of them reasons in distinctive views and opinions, a gap may be created. It can lead to either imposition of ideas especially from parents on the children. Such may result to anguish and not accepting those ideas.
Living a Right Life
I compiled some of my thoughts about some traits that is expected of people in the course of living. They're essential for living and living right. Based on who you are as an individual, there are people under you who regard you as their role model, they tend to pick interests in whatever you do and expect a lot from you. If you are a parent, your children regards you as a role model and worthy of being followed. Same thing could be said to occur if you are a boss or employer in your own company. Your character should be favourable and worthy to be imitated by your employees. Do you want to live right, then you should be able to do some of what is listed.
**1. Be a good example**
People should be able to make a good case study of you. Your life must make a great example for others to follow. Especially if you are in a leadership position, you must live an exemplary life. Let your life be accompanied with good things that people can make example of, while trying to be like you.
**2. Dress Well.**
People do say that you are addressed the way you are dressed. If you dress shabbily, you will be addressed as a nobody. Dressing speaks volumes about a man's character and personality. Dressing well will attract good and responsible people to you. In the aspect of dressing, you must be able to invest in yourself and by doing so, you show others that you are responsible.
**3. Love people and forgive.**
Don't hold grudges against people for so long. You must love people all around you and have an accommodating spirit. It's one of the indispensable trait you need especially if you want good people to work with you. You must build your love among your friends and colleagues. Forgiving others is also important trait you should possess. People do mistakes and once they are sorry for what the bad they did to you. You must forgive and let go.
**4. Be reliable and trustworthy.**
People should be able to build their trust around you. You should be a man of your words and be reliable. Let your yes be yes and let your no be no. Don't mince words and confuse people all around you. Once you are reliable, people won't have problems dealing with you. If you are not reliable or trustworthy, you won't find honest people to associate with either.
**5. Have respect and concerns for others**
Be empathic with other people's feelings. Show that you respect and show concerns for people around you. If you are a boss, show concerns for people working under you. Don't act bossy on them. Respect is reciprocal and you should also have respects for others no matter your position in life. Showing respects for others show good mannerism.
**6. Build a lasting legacy.**
You should be able to build a lasting legacy worthy of being leaved for posterity. As a parent, you must leave avoid legacy for your children. While many people only care about the president, they ignore legacy and the future of their incoming generation. Sometimes having something to pass on as a legacy can be one of the greatest achievement of a man.
**7. Don't abuse privileges.**
Any privileges that comes your way should be utilize maximally and not abuse them. Opportunities and privileges happens once in a while in a man's life. You should be able to convert opportunities into something profitable as well as privileges. If you are graced or granted something you really don't deserve, make good use of the privilege and make the best out of it.
***Building high moral values should be your priority. Let people be influenced through your positive impact.***
What you need to know about self development.
Every one of us would like to live our life to the fullest, and make the most of who we are and what we do. Many things or factors trigger people to seek the path of self development. Some of the reasons for seeking the path of self development is to live a fulfilled and accomplished life. Self development is a conscious process, often deliberate people go through in improving themselves in various aspects of life. Self development may be on various aspects of life such as health, education and many other aspects of life. Self development is the conscious pursuit of personal growth by improving personal skills, competencies, talents, ideas and knowledge in order for a person to reach his or her fullest potential or order to seek self fulfilment. Self development is aimed at the "self" and for self alone. It's a development of self.
Self development could be for a professional advancement, personal advancement or spiritual enhancement. Whatever your goals may be, it's a continuous process that helps you to bring in significant changes in your life. Self development is an ongoing process of self improvement in your career, education, personal life, spiritual growth and other areas of life. People undergo the process of self development because of many reasons such as;
1. **To achieve Maximum potential**. Developing yourself involves improving existing skills and learning new ones to become a better person and achieve more than you can physically, mentally and spiritually. For instance, a student that is poor in mathematics can undergo the process of self development to improve better by undergoing training and
coaching that makes him better and less deficient in mathematics. Same thing could be said of an obese person who wants to develop his body size. He could undergo series of exercise and gym that enables him to lose fat.
2**. For self awareness**. Self development and life coaching classes may help people to understand and get to know who they are, their essence as human beings as more as their aspirations and goals. Any thing that helps to improve an individual can be seen s self development. Knowing
who you are gives you a clarity on the purpose of your life. There are many life coaching classes which helps to unlock the potentials and identities of people in achieving their dreams or simply becoming more better.
3**. To improve performance**. As I stated earlier, developing your abilities and qualities will help you to perform better intellectually, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, to achieve your goals in life.
It can also be said that people seek self development in order to improve social skills that allows them to lead a confident life.
HOW TO DEVELOP YOURSELF.
1. Seek knowledge on what you want to improve on. Self development is deliberate and intentional, You must know your area(s) of weakness that you want to improve on. Source for information related to what you need improvement on.
2. It's also important to have a mentor or role model who you look up to for guide and directions in affairs of life. It is helpful to be able to look to others for inspiration, motivation, or even just daily reminders of how you can continue moving forward on your journey.
3. Maintain self discipline and stay honest in your course of self development. Self discipline will help you to reach the development you fancy. Self development happen slowly and deliberately. You should cultivate self discipline and consistency in order to achieve your goals.
4. In developing yourself, you should surround yourself with people of like minds. Don't associate with mediocre, people who could hinder your development or growth. Spend time with people who are working similar things as you and you will grow with them in a fast pace than trying to do it all alone.
The Light Bearer
Light is very important and crucial to everything that has to do with life. There's no life without light. Without light, there is no existence of anything. We can virtually remembered the story of how God first created the earth. Before the earth was formed, it was originally desolate and formless. The first command God gave us that there should be light. Light is a very essential part of living. You can't totally live a free life in darkness. Light illuminates everything around us and give us enlightenment of who and what we are. Suppose you are to meet probably with someone you have never met before and on the first encounter, you couldn't see the person because he was engulfed in darkness, how will you explain or describe his physical features? You can't because you didn't see him in a plain manner.
Whenever there is presence of light there is always an element of truth. That's why people who do bad things always hide under the disguise of darkness to do their bad deeds. You will accept that most robberies and theft are always done in the night because it's a bad deed and those perpetrators need something unclear like darkness to aid their misdeeds. God knows that not much will be accomplished if light is not created first.
With the presence of light around us we come into the consciousness of many things around us. If you wants to deceive someone then you put that person in total darkness, in another words you put that person in total ignorance of what's currently happening. Darkness aids ignorance but light reveals the hidden things. If you hide something in the darkness, a good light that shines brilliantly can disclose the location where you hide what you hid.
WHO IS A LIGHT BEARER?
To be a light bearer means to be a carrier of light, to be someone that carries and expresses the light of God. Spiritually speaking, a light bearer is an established child of God who receive the gospel (the gospel is light) and also carries and expresses the light to others in darkness. A light bearer carry something, a light. There is a personal identification with the source of light which is Jesus Christ. The light of God that a light bearer carries all around is the light of the gospel. When you are a light carrier, the Lord want you to distinguish yourself with the particular message he give to you. God expects you to bring good tidings to wherever you find yourself as a light bearer because light brings happiness to wherever it shines upon. You cannot be sad as a light bearer, joy must be sighted and shown in your life.
One of the things to avoid as a light bearer is evil association, association that is not of God. As a light bearer, you must not have anything to do with the darkness(evils). It's important to stay connected and in a consistent manner to the source of light. Avoiding bad association and involving or associating with Godly people. You must also know your place and location. It's not enough to be a light bearer alone, you must be able to distinguish a d identify the place to which you are called. You must shine the light of God in the very place God has called you to. The light was be shined wherever you find yourself. God's light drives away fear and bring people into self fulfilment and happiness. God deals with light and not darkness since himself is a light. That's why he admonished us in the scripture to flee from all works of the darkness and comes into the light of his kingdom.
Remember that every Christian is a light bearer. Once you accept the good news of Jesus and you are transformed as a result of the good news of Christ, then you are also saddled with the responsibility of carrying the light to other people in the world.
Good deeds come back to us
When you do good, naturally it's believed that good will come back to you in many ways. Most religions of the world today have the belief that doing good is ideal and bad deeds doesn't pay. Likewise the elderly ones believed that if you do good, it will come soon or later even when you are dead. Some people are facing huge problems in life as a result of the malicious and bad things their parents have done in their past lives. I could recalled the story of a family that met their untimely death as a result of their bad deeds. The story was always narrated to me by my mother when she want to talk to me on the basis of doing good deeds to everyone.
The story goes thus; There was a family sometimes ago who are not rich and they are not poor at the same time. They live averagely within their means, they also had a daughter. Since they are people of average means, they don't have much to boast of their own, talking in terms of assets and belongings.
Luckily for them, they had a nephew whose parents had died and was working abroad. The nephew took it as a point of responsibility to cater for their needs anytime they want something from him. Many a times this man pays for almost every expenses being incurred by the family.
The man having spent some years abroad decided to come back home to start a small business with the fortune he had acquired over the years. He reasoned along with the family to help him build a house to which he will stay permanently when he eventually arrived. He further stated that he will be sending money periodically for the building and development of the house. So it was agreed upon by both parties, the man kept his promise by sending money to develop his house. Unfortunately instead of using the money to build the house as it was agreed, the family will divide the money into half anytime it's sent. The first half will be spent by the family while they use the other half to buy substandard materials needed for the house building. They mismanaged the funds being sent to build house, they will rather set aside pantry sum to the house development while they take out large sums for themselves. This led to building house that's not strong enough and in poor shape because they couldn't spend much money on the house as they should.
Years roll by and the man later informed them of his plans to relocate back to the country in a very short time, let's say one month. Without much ado, the man which is the nephew came home one day and they embraced each other because of the fact that it's being so long they've met physically, since the time the man informed them of the decision to travel out then. They exchanged pleasantries and share good words together. The second day the man asked for the family audience to let them know what he came home for. During the conversation with them, he told them that he won't be needing the house anymore as he had just acquired another new job overseas and have bought a much larger house for himself and his wife to be. He finally granted them for free the access to be living in the house they built for him. On hearing this, they were so happy to finally own a house not knowing that their day of doom is not far. They built a poor house that lacks the necessary good materials to make it strong.
The man moved back with his wife to the house he purchased while the family also moved to the new poor house they built for their nephew. Days came by and one day a heavy rain fell which shook the house the family were living so hard, since the foundations and the house structure is weak, the whole house couldn't withstand the force of the rain and it collapsed leading to the death of all of the members of the family.
If they had done good by using good and strong materials for the building, it would have become an age long asset for them instead of death trap. They probably thought they won't get to live in the house hence they built a very poor house for their nephew. Doing good sometimes might be for our own benefits and not for the benefit of those we did it too.
A Committed Friend
Some of us enter into relationships either romantic relationships or friendships based on what the other partner has to offer. In most cases among ladies, they always prefer to befriend guys who can give them many goodies and favours. Such ladies disappear immediately whenever a slight problem occurs. Most people accept the axiom that a friend in need is a friend indeed. Some people leave their long time friends because of a little problem or setback, they only stay with people in green pastures or people living on bed of roses, such people don't have any commitment to the relationship they have with them.
Personally I have witnessed many things in this life, how people leave their friends who probably are in some sort of problems. Many people love ordinarily not deeply because of the benefits attached to it. That's why you see many people divorce each other once the inherent benefits that attached them together begin to wane or disappear. Are you one of the people willing to stand by your partner or friends in times of troubles and adversity? Can you ensure with your partners till better time comes again?. If possibly you can't have a huge commitment in your relationship, it's better not to deceive your partner into thinking you are committed to them.
If you want to be a friend indeed, you must not turn a blind eye to any problems being faced by your friend (s). There are many ways you can help people you call your friends. Everything is not just about money and money only. You can also support your friends mentally and in person. Instead of neglecting your friends during problems, you can stay with them and cheer them on. One of the reasons why people commit suicide in relationships is because they probably were betrayed by their partner, they must have had so much trust in their partner, thinking they will be there for them in their woeful times only to be shunned and disappointed.
What goes around comes around. If you can't possibly have a committed relationship, then you might not really get hold of a good friend who will stay with you when you have problems too. Helping one another help to form a strong bond in relationships. Relationships are not built on the bed of roses alone, it must also have stand the test of time. During wedding ceremony, both partners vow to be with one another either in the rain or in the storm, they make a vow to stay together during the good and the bad times. Why is this so? because marriage can only last if both partners are committed to each other, so is relationships too even among friends too. Are you willing to help your friends grow? or are you in the duty of making him or her worse?
If you only have friends who are only interested in your success alone and are not interested in your challenges, then you've got no real friends. A friend must be supportive all the time. Most people are egocentric when it comes to building relationships. They want to receive the most from the relationship without giving much back. Relationships should be based on reciprocity. You can't possibly reap where you did not sow. Don't turn relationships into an opportunity to rip the other partner off. Don't turn your back to your friend in the days of troubles. A true friend is much precious than diamond. Living with the best friends can make life fun. When people have good friends who are supportive and trustworthy, their hearts gladdens and in so much joy because true friend is rare. I always make sure I support every of my friends in need.
If you get hold of a good friend who is ready to be with you and make you better, don't lose them.
Getting to Succeed as A Christian
Some people got the best ideas to succeed, to make it in life and be outstanding, but they never took actions towards actualizing their dreams. They rather ruminate internally on their dreams instead of working it out. Success belongs to action takers not only great thinkers alone. To be successful in life, you've got to understand the power of writing down your ideas. Ideas comes like rain, like an inspiration. Penning those ideas down help you to flow with it and erase forgetfulness. Ideas come seasonally, unconventionally and inspirationally hence the need to capture them in writing. Writing down your ideas, dreams, thoughts will help to create a platform of meditation and creativity for you. Writing things down will helps to keep your memory in tune with your ideas and experiences.
Some people have shallow imagination because they spend too much time engaging in fruitless activities that does help their mental growth. Some people hardly read. Reading provides the cognitive resources in reasoning and imagination. Stop engaging in things that makes you mentally lazy. Write down your vision, ideas, thoughts and your dreams if you are intentional about your success. When our thoughts is documented, it releases the power to be able to take initiatives, it becomes easy to act on them.
Once you write those wonderful ideas down, then you must strive to make them become reality through hard work and smart work as well.(Proverbs 13:4). In life, dreams and opportunities find full expression when matched with hard work. You can wish and fantasize about your dreams and thoughts, you have to combine it with hard work. Wishes cannot walk the path of fulfilment of your dreams but hard work can. Dreams can come to life if someone work on them, dreams cannot fulfill themselves. Working is a blessing that God conferred on us in order to make the most of our resources, talents, gifting towards achieving our God's given purposes. It is good to have an idea and to document it down, but it takes work to make your dream a reality. We must back up our dreams with action plan. Dare to take actions instead of wishing for a miracle. We can also see that our God was also an action takers. God did not only have an idea to create the heart, he also used his hands in working out his will. (Genesis 1:7-8). He divided the light from the darkness after he spoke light into existence.
Many people started this year with great plans, trying to accomplish many great things this year but they are unwillingly to work hard to achieve their goals. Some people thought that long prayers alone with make them succeed in life. Even the Bible acknowledged that faith without works is dead. Such people do hope for an unusual miracle that can turn their story for good overnight. Christ taught us to be action takers. God gave us a sound mind to conceive brilliant ideas and dreams. He also gave us the brain and hands to work out the ideas into realities.
God already provided us with the necessary resources to actualize our dreams. He gave us brains to work out the best for ourselves. We can't afford to be a mediocre because our God isn't. Instead of wishing things work out, why don't you plan and devise many means to make it work. Some people will still remain poor not because they don't have the idea to get themselves out of poverty but they can't just engage themselves in hard work that will help them break from the shackles of poverty.
Our mind, brain and hands are out greatest resources, that's what made us different from other creatures because we are not helpless. We are made strong and complete and we should lead an excellent and successful life on earth.
The Right Mindset
Romans 12: 1-2.
The mindset could be a prison for a man, the mindset is where you make things happen, to existence. Before things become a reality, it must be conceived first in one's mind. Things like education, experience and cultural background all influence our mindset. Mind renewal is also important to stay relevant in today's generation.
Three important mindset that God expects us to develop.
1. THE MINDSET OF A WITNESS.(1john 1: 1-4).
The multitudes, the disciples, and the witness. The multitudes are the crowd, the ones following the trends of Jesus Christ. In every situation of life, you see multitudes. The moment Jesus Christ was arrested, the multitudes were nowhere to be found. There was no conviction in them(the multitudes) because of the mindset in them, they like to stay at a place of comfort without any sense of belonging. They move to every place that trends, they flee once they see problems.
The second set of people are the DISCIPLES, they have conviction and follow faithfully and obedient. However, sometimes the disciples only tend to be religious without understanding the matters of the spiritual. Except through the conviction of the holy spirit, many disciples end up only being religious. Many disciples even follow God without having a clear definition of who God is. It took Thomas, one of the disciples too long before be acknowledged God as his Lord.
The third set of people are the WITNESSES. (1 John 1:1).
God expect us to move from the multitudes and the disciples to the witnesses. A witness believed in something that exists from the beginning. A witness has a revelation and is connected to the beginning. A witness operates on the basis of the practicals, what can be experienced and not based on baseless theory. A witness manifest the reality of God's word. A witness is a living testimony and God expect us to be a witness. A witness manifest the proof of the reality of God.
2. THE MINDSET OF A KING. (Revelation 5:10).
What God have for man is dominion, God expects us to have the mindset of a king, not the mindset of a servant but if someone who have authority, power and dominion to control things. God did not create you to be a servant, you must have a mindset of a king no matter your
present circumstances or limitations. The mindset of a king is the mindset of a dominion, a king does not fear or beg to eat. A king is bold and courageous in all adversity. Having a mindset of a king will affect everything you do as a christian.
3. THE MINDSET OF A PRIESTHOOD.(Revelation 5:10).
The mindset of a priesthood is very crucial. The priesthood is God's system of bringing Man to God. A priest reconcile man back to God, a perfect example of Jesus Christ. The first function of a priest is to reconcile people to God. As a christian, if nobody have ever known God through you, then you're not a good christian. Every Christian is a priest unto God to bring souls to God's kingdom. God hates people being unfruitful.
Another function of the priesthood is the function of a prayer warrior, one who builds the altar of prayer, priests who link heaven and earth wherever they go.
Our mindset is generally a treasure land where the realities are imagined first. As christians, we must be constant in the renewal of our mind because the world wants relevant and up to date Christians. Renewal of the mind to a right mindset comes from thorough studying of God's word and meditation. The right mindset will lead to a right living which is pleasing to God. We must align our thoughts with God's own.
***If we are called of God, then we must have the same mindset as he has.***
Jealousy in Relationships
For so long have I always imagined jealousy among partners in relationships. Even among spouses, between husbands and their wives, jealousy is often seen in many homes through interactions with each other. Jealousy may be caused by many things, such as feeling of low self esteem or feeling of being undervalued among other factors. Nevertheless, jealousy may be toxic and harmful to a relationship. Some people strongly believed that jealousy in itself is not a bad thing because it shows the level of love and affection one has for a partner. However, being overly jealous of the other partner in a relationship can have many negative implications for both partners.
Looking at it in a more general way, getting jealous in a relationship might actually be a good sign of a loving relationship or relationship based on love. It's difficult to get jealous of your partner without loving them, but unnecessary jealousy may be disastrous. When people get slightly jealous over their partner, it may show a sign of true and genuine love.
People may be jealous of many things over their partner, some may be jealous or feel jealousy once they see their partner hugging other person. It may even spring out in many other ways. Some male partners get jealous when they see other males getting around with their partners especially in a way they don't like.
Some get jealous if other people just hold their partner's hands romantically. Jealousy is in many different forms and may be shown in many different ways.
What caused Jealousy in relationships? It's difficult to list a one-for-all cause of jealousy in relationships but some of the causes of jealousy may include;
1. LACK OF TRUST.
Some people get unnecessary jealousy because they couldn't trust their partner. Some have the thought that their partner could do something to betray their trust hence they get jealous of every moment that may seemed harmful to the trust between them. For a relationship to work out or even marriages, trust has to be built. Without trust a relationship cannot work or be fun. Once there is lack of trust in a relationship. People panic and get jealous of their partner unnecessarily.
Some husbands get jealous once their wives go out of the house or when an old friend meet up on the road and greet their wives. Because of lack of trust, many husbands may start to become suspicious and jealous of their partner over exchanged greetings.
Once the trust is well established in a relationship, jealousy is always absent because each partner have trust in each other. In such a way, nobody have to develop an unstable mind over the other person.
2. LOW SELF ESTEEM.
When one of the partner feel like self esteem or feel being unworthy of a relationship, jealousy may creep in at any slightest opportunity. If you don't feel that your partner loved you enough or feel that you are less attractive to him or her, jealousy may show itself in such relationship. Such partner may start feeling insecure with the other. Jealousy may exhibit or show anger, resentment and even hatred, that's why it's very toxic to harbor jealousy in one's mind.
People that exhibit jealousy do themselves a great harm mentally and psychologically too. Jealousy won't give you a peace of mind in your relationship if you are by chance a jealous person. Some people have resorted to being a criminal because of the fact that they couldn't control their jealousy.
Some can't just imagine another person near their partner, they may resort to violence mere seeing other person with their wives or husbands.
Jealousy is like a rage that can consume the harborer. Are you a jealous one? You have to be able to control your jealousy. It's advisable not to be in a relationship with who you can't trust rather than being in a relationship with such person and be having doubts. Relationships works better when the partners deal with a straight mind and trust.
It is also important to avoid things that could make your partner to be jealous of you. Many people are fond of making their partners to be jealous of them intentionally. Don't punish your partner because you wanted to prove their love.
Responsible Parenthood (1)
The roles of a parent in the life of a child cannot be downplayed, A good child in the society will be a thing of a pride to his or her parents while the bad child will be a thing of disgrace to his or her parents or family. Parenting is an enormous and huge responsibility, parenting goes beyond being the parent of a child or a guardian of a child, there are roles and responsibilities attached to being a parent, and whether the roles and responsibilities is being carried out perfectly by the parent the answer will definitely manifest in the life of the child.
There are various factors that are responsible for all round development of a child, but that of the Parental Factor is of utmost important out of all the factors responsible for all round development of a child.
There is a difference between a child who received the care of a responsible parenthood whether biological, adopted or by a guardian and a child who was not opportune to receive the care of a responsible parenthood. Though, if a child is not opportune to receive care of a responsible parenthood, that does not mean the child will not be successful or become something meaningful in the society, but what of the love, care, affection, guidance, advise, protection, counsels, provision and so on. Parenting is very important in the life of any child, because no child is born to become a wanderer in a society, we are born to fulfill a purpose in which God and our parent are our ultimate guide. Every child is born to the world naked, we come to the world without any thing, but we receive care and shelter from our parent, just imagine the love and care when a child is been born
Growing of a child from infant to an adult is accompanied by a parental love, care, affection, protection, provision, guidance, prayer and counsel, but imagine if a child is deprived or not opportune to these. A child needs love and support for him or her grow up well into a young adult, as human being we span through life stages from infancy, early childhood, middle childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, middle adulthood, and old age.
Before we be come dependent in our young adult age or early childhood stage, a child needs a parental love and support, be it physical, financial, emotional, material or spiritual support, a child need a parental love to affirm his or her value and to progress in becoming something in life.
Children are said to be the leaders of tomorrow, that someday children we become adult that will determine the fate of our country, hence the need for responsible parents. A child that is not well trained at home will become a menace to the society and is such child that involves in social vices ( a deviant behavior or moral decadence acts) such as thuggery, illicit sex, evil or immoral behavior, cultism, kidnapping, armed robbery, vandalism, cyber crimes and vandalism.
Parenting is necessary to provide a peaceful citizens and a peaceful society, a well-trained child is an asset to the society. Before a child becomes dependent in life he or she needs parent advise, love and care, parent are expected to portray themselves as a good example and role model to their children, because the first person a child emulate his or her parent.
A parent behavior should be of a good one that the child can copy and seen as a good person to the society. A child needs parental love and care and provision in anything they do in life be it in their education or career, a child needs his or her parent guidance and support to be able to walk on a right path and become something meaningful at the end. Children are leaders of tomorrow, a child should be shown characteristics of a leader at home which is integrity, humility, honesty, transparency, emphaty, creativity, accountability, innovation, patience, confidence and so on. Parents should be a good example of an exemplary leader to their child so that their children can emulate them, because the first role model of every child is their parent, whatever a parent does will surely reflect in the behavior of any child in the nearest future.
Applause should be given to parent that have shown and proven to be a responsible parents because parenting is not easy, and those that have not proven to be responsible should have a good rethink of their child future and also their own future, because children are the leaders of tomorrow that determines the fate of every country. A child that is shown a good and adequate parental love, affection, care , provision, protection, support and guide will be a plus to the society than the one shown a bad parenting.
*Article continues*
***Responsible Parenthood, Responsible Society***
***Children are Leaders of Tomorrow***
Benefits of Listening To Good Music
One of the creative art that has been a source of inspiration, excitement, motivation, merriment, happiness, effective messages to people is Music. Music has been for a very long time and is still very much in existence. Music has impacted human being majorly in a positive way, the role of music in man's life cannot be played down.
Music has produced notable intellectuals in the society like Michael Jackson, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, Stevie Wonder, Beyonce, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, The Beatles, and so on. One of the myth about music is that Musicians are people that are not serious with their life, they consider anyone singing as lazy,
Music have produced gems in the past and contemporarily Music is still producing gems and intellectuals in the society. One of the adorable features of music is that it allows you to express yourself in the way you would love. Musicians deemed lazy are now seen as intellectuals and precious people because of their positive impacts on the live of people and to the society at large. Lives have been touched positively as a result of music, souls down have been lifted, people depressed have been motivated by music, people have been inspired through music. The benefits of Music in the life of people and society cannot be erased.
***What's Music?***
According to ***Charlie Parker***
"Music is your own experience, your own thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out out of your horn."
In many cultures, music is an important part of people's way of life, one of the way we express our culture and lifestyle is through music and culture is said to be the way of life of people, so one of the way we express our ways of life is through music. Music is composed and performed for many reasons and purposes, people do not just sing, the reasons and purposes of music ranges from aesthetic pleasure, entertainment purposes, income purposes religious and ceremonial purposes.
Music is an art of sound time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, colour and harmony. Music can be referred to as collection of sounds, sounds are all around us from waves lapping against a coastline, to cars honking in traffic and birds chirping. Sounds are sometimes put together in a purposeful ways to create a specific at atmosphere or sometimes to express ideas, informations, messages, opinions or emotions. Such sounds put together are called music.
Since music are packed with ideas, emotions, opinions, messages and informations, there is a way listeners of music can benefits from the music they listen so. Music is a masterpiece of thoughts and feelings and they are put together as a lyrics. When we listen to music we pay more attention to the lyrics more than other things because the lyrics are beyond mere words they are thoughts and emotions that can benefit the listener in one way or the other.
Benefits of Listening To Good Music
1) Music elevates mood; There are times we can feel depressed or when our mood is down, which is normal, listening to music mostly especially your favorite ones can lighten up one's mood. Music helps to reduce feeling of anxiety and depression. When are you mood is down try listening to music.
2) Music helps us have a better sleep; After all the stress of daily activities, there's is how we feel relaxed when we listen to cool music. Research and study has shown that people who listened to good relaxing classical music before going to bed have a good sleeping experience than those who did not listen to any music.
3) Music helps to give inspiration and motivation; The lyrics of the singer can inspire us to do great things because music is an expression of thoughts, feelings, ideas, informations and music also can motivate us to become better as an individual.
4) Music can help people eat less; This is very funny, but playing some cool music under a cool atmosphere when eating can help us slow down while eating and in turn we consume less food at a sitting.
5) Music makes us happy, strengthen our learning, enhance our memory, and increase our verbal intelligence; Music can keep us happy all day, student enjoy listening to music because it help us learn better, enhance our memory and also increase our verbal intelligence by improving our ability to understand words and explain there meaning.
6) Music help to increase workout endurance and reduce stress; Listening to music can help to relive stress by triggering stress reducer and this is verifiable through study shown. Anytime we experience a stressful day we can play some music and vibe along with the music. Listening to music during workout can increase our endurance during tough exercise session and boost our physical performance and increase our ability during workout.
7) Music can keep us entertained; One of what music does that is very visible is keeping us entertained, people dance and groove to music as a result of the beat, sweet voice and the melody also. Music is entertainment.
Music has a lot of benefits that can never be exhausted, that why they say "Music is Life".I love listening to music because of its numerous benefits because it improve our physical health and mental well being and I hope you do so.
***Music is life***
Peer Influence and Pressure Among Teens And Young Adult
It wonders me how parents in the 21st feel puzzled due to changes in the behavior of their children. Some parents ponder on what led to changes in the behavior of their children, giving them a restless and sleepless night or thoughtful day, they go day by day thinking on what can led to a sudden change in their children.
However we live in a world where Peer Influence is very much in existence, and Peer Influence is not limited to Teens and Young Adults, Adult also do suffer peer pressure like doing what others are doing, sending kids to a certain school, buying cars you cannot afford, wearing designer clothes and working out at the gym can also be a pressure.
Peer Pressure can either be **Positive Or Negative,** it's in two ways. It can be positive by spurring you to do great and good new things and it can be negative leading you to try something bad you might literally not want to try or get interested in.
Nowadays, Teens and Young Adult are being pressurized to conform themselves to demand of the dominant or powerful groups, though Peer Pressure has been in existence for a long time.Some Children find it hard to tell their parents of the situations going on their lives, which is majorly from the parents side, some parents have no time for their children, they even find it hard to talk to their children anytime they are less busy, all they are thinking of is either work work and work or parties.
Children are now left to themselves to decide on their life matters because the parents felt once they are providing food, providing a good welfare and paying for their school fees they are already fulfilling the roles of a responsible parenthood. Peer Pressure keeps mounting and the children find it hard to resist the pressure from the dominant and powerful groups
What Is Peer Pressure and Influence?
To start with, Peer Pressure simply means the pressure or a pressing force to conform to demand of some people in the same social group. Peer Pressure is when you do something because you want to feel accepted and valued by your friends.
Teens and Young Adult do some things not because they love but as a result of pressure mounting on them from their friends they find it hard to resist and have no choice than to accept the demand of their friends in order to feel accepted and not neglected and to be valued and not disrespected by friends. Peer pressure is choosing to do something you would not otherwise do. Peer pressure can be a influence on a person behavior from a group that he or she interact with socially or professionally.
Peer Influence and Pressure can be either Positive or Negative to Teens and Young Adults.
**Positive Peer Influence can include;**
Going to School like colleges or universities which can be positive for future
Emulating and Showing discipline at work or school
Being hardworking in anything you find yourself doing can lead to achievement
Joining groups that can contribute to your knowledge, ideas and skills
Following rules that can help your focus in life like being honest, showing respect, exercising and so on.
**Negative Peer Pressure and Influence can include;**
Joining gang to bully and tease others
Doing something you would not want to do
Drinking Alcohol, smoking or experimenting with harmful substances
Engaging in activities you would love not to do or doing risky things
***How Do I Find A Balance To Peer Influence and Pressure?***
I think that is a lot of question going on in the mind of many Teens and Young Adults. Peer Pressure is very visible among members of the same social groups, because you might likely find your self doing same thing. For example A Student in a class will find himself or herself doing almost the same things with his or her peer.
The best way to find a balance to Peer Influence and Pressure is being Yourself, if you are happy with who you are, your choices and values, you are less likely to be influenced or intimated by your peers.
***Be Yourself***
Learn From Your Mistakes
This is an article written from experience. I would love my readers to read it thoroughly
Yesterday afternoon been Sunday, After I arrived form Church and did one or two things, I felt I should relax while relaxing, I felt bored and thought of what to do, so I picked up my phone because I cannot do without pressing my phone, so I unlocked my phone and decided to play a game and the game comprises of different levels and each level is in two stages with various tasks.
So, I was playing I played each level more than four times because I kept making mistake and I was unable to finish the stage before time limit and I have to complete the stages before I would be able to progress to the next stage and I kept on playing each level more than four times because of persistency in my mistakes, It was very funny and annoying and the higher the level, the harder the tasks.
While playing the game, anytime I failed a stage or level I became annoyed, sad and angry because of the effort been put, and the annoying part is that I am competing against computer and I have put much effort to progress to next level but I will just make this mistake and have to restart again even if I am about to enter into another level. I became annoyed and assumed that the game is being programmed to favour the computer because the task that is like a challenge to me is a very easy thing for the computer I am competing against, but I loved the challenge and still there is too much mistakes and this mistake will not allow me to finish the game in time.
The game looks hard to me, but it's interesting so I kept playing,. so while I was playing a level I said to myself that I will not make any mistake that I will do it perfectly, so I played and made another mistake, I was angry and disappointed, I had to start again so while playing I said to myself I have to be conscious of my steps and focus so that if I make mistake the cause will be known quickly.
So I played and made mistake, very funny but I was aware of the cause, I played again and progressed to the next level. The next level contained another task, but I played and for the first time I played a level without mistakes and progressed to another and that was how I was able to play the game with minimal mistakes, the levels and tasks became simpler and I felt I was better than the computer I was competing against because I was winning almost all the level in one attempt.
I am one of the people that believed that learning can take place anywhere and we can learn anytime because is one of the belief in the course I study in the university. One of the ways we learn is either we learn consciously or unconsciously. After I am done playing the game I was just sitting
and this thought came to my mind that the reason the game seems difficult to me in the first place was that I was unable to learn from my mistakes and that was why I kept repeating the same thing. After this quote came to my mind
***"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expect different result.". Albert Einstein***
There are people who loves to do things the same thing and expect different result, it's not done that way and some also refuse to learn from their mistakes. We are human being we cannot be perfect and free of errors or mistakes. Mistakes will continue to happen as long as we continue to endeavor in one thing or the other. Here are the few things I learnt while playing the game and this can be channeled to our daily live activities because it is as a result of our activities that mistakes happen.
We should not be discouraged of our mistakes, because mistakes are bound to happen, but we can reduce it.
We should see our mistakes as an avenue to learn, because the mistakes happened as a result of some causes. Let's learn from our mistakes.
We should critically reflect our mistakes and analyse our errors
We Should make improvement of our steps or strategies, we cannot do things in the same way and expect different result
We should not see ourselves as a complete perfect being, mistakes cannot be erased, if you do not make mistakes others might, let us learn to correct our mistakes and learn from it.
2022 is still very much new, let's analyse our errors and mistakes in previous years and we should try to correct them and also learn from our mistakes.
***Wishing you all a prosperous new year.***
Better Year Ahead
2021 is going to and end, it just a matter of hours and then we will bid this year a goodbye as we enter into another year 2022. 2021 is mixed with a lot of feelings, some people are ending this year on a high note, some on a middle note, and to some on a very low note. With all this we have been able to pull through to the very end, it's been long race, January to December is not easy, spanning through 365 days is a great job.
The year 2021 has suffered majorly from the spillover of the 2019 global pandemic outbreak Covid-19. Covid-19 impact on countries is still very much in existence, nations seem not to have recovered on the impact, economy of nations, people lifestyle, well-being and welfare of people, businesses and so on also have been affected as a result of Covid-19.
2021 has been a year full of events, during this year I have witnessed a lot of events, beacues as human being we cannot do without experiencing one or two things as a result of life events and transition and we get to learn from it consciously or unconsciously. Our experiences shapes the way we think, react and do things. Everyone will have one on or two things to say about this year 2021. Our experiences are not the same we might have been in the same situation but what we experienced might be the same or differs, that is Life.
Like I said earlier, we are finishing the year on a very different notes, some on a high note, some on middle note and to some on a very low note. As the year is going to and we are ending the year on a different basis. There are different kind of people who belong to categories. In this article, I highlighted three (3) kind of People as the year 2021 is going to an end.
( 1 ) Some people are finishing the year 2021 with great experiences, these are set of people that have been able to achieve much things to some extent, they feel fulfilled, ending the year with joy and happiness.
These are set of people ending the year on a high note , they have been able to do things which can be regarded as a big achievement which includes Owing a house, car or properties, business excellence, academic achievements, getting married or having their children this year, getting Visa, job promotion, all-round success and so many good things. The set of people in this category have been able to achieve goals they planned for this year if not all but to a large percentage and not only achieving their goals they have been able to come in contact with luck as a result of their hardwork and diligence. This set of people can look back and say 2021 has been a blessing to them irrespective of what is going on around the nations. They blossom this year and they expect to do the same in the coming years.
( 2 ) Another category of people is those ending the year on a middle note or medium-high note. People in this category have much plans for this year but they have been able to achieve only half of their plans.
Their goals for these year have not been achieved to a large extent .Human being do desire to have a smooth journey in life, likewise people on this category they desire to have a fulfilled and all-round good year that is why they put much efforts and energy to things they do, but in one way or the other their expectations was not met to some extent, but looking at it they were able to achieve some things. Some people in this category challenge themselves to do better in the coming year, while some will give up because their achievement is not equal or below their expectations.
( 3 ) The third set of people is those finishing the year with on a very low note. These people are ending the year on a very sad note, these sets of people might have tried to commit suicide as a result of failure in what they have engaged themselves in.
The set of people have also tried something or used their energy and effort on something but everything look futile, no result to show for their effort. Nobody chose to be in this condition, but such is life. Life is not equal. A whole year to this people does not have any meaning, they feel neglected, unfavored, ill-luck. They tried their bit and best but to no avail. Set of people in this category include those who experiencd marriage failure, academic failure, business failure and failure in their life goals or pursuit. Some set of people in this category will give up entirely and remain in the cycle of failure year in year out, but there are some who will brace up, re-strategize and go again the coming years and trust me these set of people do make headway.
Like we say, If there is life, there is still hope, it does not matter what the year 2021 has presented before us, but I know for sure that we are capable of making the coming years and most especially 2022 a better one.
**This can only be done and achieved once there is determination, diligence, hardwork, commitment, persistent and prayer.**
**Here are some tips which we can follow to make 2022 a better Year;**
1**) Reflect on this year 2021**; one of the way to achieve transformation is through critical reflection, critically reflect on how you have spent 2021 ponder and think thoroughly on how you make use of the opportunities, decisions you took, where you got it wrong, where your effort was not enough or low and where you have been able to achieve somethings.
we should celebrate our small wins and despise not the days of little beginning. Doing this we prepare before us a better Year Ahead.
**2) Make a plan for the forthcoming year 2022;** "He who fails to plan, plan to fail".To make 2022 a better Year we must have a plan, goals or target that is reasonable of meeting or achieving. You must go into the new year with a Plan,like they say "New year, New Resolution".
People do trivialize this saying, but if you have a reasonable and attainable plans and you are committed to it, trust me you will have a good result
**3) Strategize your plans;** A Plan without a strategy cannot yield into anything good. For example if you plan to start a business, Strategize on how you are to go about your business plan. Our strategy must be intact and have a good potentials.
4) Get Started; Once the first three things has been done and are they are free of errors, there is not need for delay, Get Started. Where people do make mistakes is that even if they created plans and strategized, they get scared of starting.
Conquer your fear in this forthcoming year, do things with determination, commitment, hardwork and prayer.
5j Keep going, do not relent, evaluate your progress, if there is need for adjustments or changes, do the needful, avoid nose and incline ears to advise Trust me you will have a better Year.
2021 has been a year, but all thanks God, we have been able to run the race to the end, we are going into a new year let us go with **LOVE, JOY, HOPE, DETERMINATION, ZEAL, EXPECTATION & COMMITMENT.**
***Wishing a prosperous and better new year.***
Stigmatization
What is wrong?, Why me?,Am I that bad?, Why do people hate me?, I am not loved, I am useless.
These are the questions and thoughts asked by people experiencing stigmatization. Stigmatization in our society has increased, people are being stigmatized because of their condition, situation or circumstances. Stigmatization in our society has contributed to the increase in mental illness of people. Stigmatization is as a result of a label that associates a person to a set of unwanted characteristics that form a stereotypes, if we can do away with the way will label people and show them love and affection it will help to increase a sane and safe society. Those who are stereotyped or marked with attributes or mark often start to act in ways that their stigmatizers expect of them.
Stigmatizing an individual is an action that carries emotion, assumption, beliefs.
Stigmatizing people will not only change their behavior, the way they act or do things, but it also play a part in shaping their emotions, beliefs, values , assumptions. Stigmatization is an act of showing people negative emotions and feelings, the emotions and feelings are then interpreted by people stigmatized which can make them develop some negative assumptions about themselves which may include their identity, characteristics and so on.
Stigmatization causes depression and put an individual social identity in a threatening situations, Stigmatization can make people feel little of themselves, causing them to have low-self esteem, people with low self esteem are mostly ones who have been stigmatized with a mark or attributes.
Stigmatization reduces individual from a complex whole and usual person to this unwanted, tainted and discounted individual. Stigmatization affects many if not all aspects of an individual life and results in significantly reduced life, because they have been discounted and they will not be able to do things usual or unmarked people do. Stigmatization involves a combination of discriminatory behavior, negative emotions and stereotyped beliefs and prejudiced attitudes toward marked individual. Marked individual are individual who are stigmatized with certain mark or attribute by another individual or more powerful group of people.
Stigmatizing mark or attribute is used to differentiate and separate **marked individual s (them) from unmarked individuals (us)** because of the associated judgment that individuals so marked are tainted and viewed lesser. Stigmatizing involves having negative attitudes, feelings or discrimination against someone viewed as having a distinguishing characteristics which includes a mental illness, health condition, social disability, situations or unfavorable circumstances.
Stigmatization occurs in a different ways,but the one surrounding mental health is still common, but it is not limited to that alone, stigmatization happen in schools, workplaces, neighborhood, among family members. Stigmatization contribute to poor mental health of people, not everyone that is stigmatized is suffering from mental health, but stigmatizing people can make them feel worthless of themselves which in turn affect their self-esteem negativity and their well being including their mental health become poor.
Stigmatization is a social process of devaluing people or groups based on a real or perceived differences which includes;
(1) Culture; Cultural Stigmatization is rampant in our society, culture is a way of life of a group of people. It encompasses our beliefs, values, behaviors, symbols. Nowadays, Culture has given an avenue for people or group of people to stigmatize group of people who does not belong to their. Culture ought to be valued and respected,but people now Stigmatized and discriminate culture. Powerful cultures in our society dominate lesser culture which include the practicer of such culture. Our culture should not be an avenue for people to discriminate or Stigmatize each other cultures.
(2) Gender; Gender stigmatization is as a result of cultural discrimination, most Culture seems to value men over women. Gender stigmatization is harmful when it limits an individual to develop their personal abilities, fulfil their potentials, pursue their goals or make choices about their lives. Women are not allowed to take some roles due to some stereotypes issues. Ascribing roles, specific attributes or characteristics to a certain gender will not allow the society to develop. People should be able to do things they love and capable of doing not only Stigmatizing them.
(3) Religion; One of the major reason of conflicts and violence in our society is as a result of religion. Religion stigmatization should not be encouraged, religion should be a way of showing towards one another. Religion Stigmatization means treating a person or a group of people because of their religious belief.
(4) Health; People suffering terminal disease or any health issues which include Covid, HIV, Cancer or mental illness are often Stigmatized because of their health conditions. During the recently global pandemic outbreak Covid-19, the people infected narrated how they experienced stigmatized and the rate was alarming. Stigmatization of people suffering from health deficiency in our society is very high. Mental illness Stigmatization should be not be encouraged, people should be shown love and hope irrespective of their health conditions.
Other forms of real or perceived differences causing stigmatization includes;
Age
Body Image
Sexual Orientation
Intelligence
Socioeconomic class
Stigmatization should not be encouraged in our society, let us fight it and improve our mental health and well-being as a society.
Stress(How Do I Manage and Cope With My Stress)
When we do not successfully make adjustments or changes in life events and transitions we often find ourselves experiencing a number of unpleasant side effects or signs and symptoms of stress.
Day-to-day living can be stressful in even the best of times. Every one express es stress from time to time. Our everyday responsibilities like work and family to serious life events such as new diagnosis of sickness, war, or the death of a loved one can trigger stress. Stress is a normal human reaction that happens to everyone. In fact, the human body is designed to experience stress and react to it which can be in a neutral, positive or negative way.
Due to the overabundance of stress in our modern lives,we usually think of stress as a negative experience, but from a biological perspective, stress can be a neutral, negative, or positive experience. Stress can be positive, keeping us alert, motivated and ready to avoid danger. For example, if you have an important examination as a student coming up, a stress response might help your body work harder and stay awake longer, but stress becomes negative or a problem when stressors continue without relief or periods of relaxation.
Stress is an individual response to change in circumstance or to a threatening situation. Stress can be related to an external and internal factors. External factors include the physical environment, including your job, relationships with others, your home, and all the situations, challenges, difficulties, and expectations confronted with on a daily basis. Internal factors determines how the body ability respond to and deal with the external stress-inducing factors. Human being is known with its unique ability of being an adaptive creature on the planet because of the evolution of the its brain. The adaptability is largely due to the changes and stressors that we have faced and mastered. Not everyone responds to stressors in the same way because of differences in perception, what might be stressful for one individual may not be necessarily stressful for another.
Stress can cause many types of physical and emotional symptoms. Sometimes, you may not realize these symptoms are caused by stress.
****Physical Symptoms of Stress****
Fatigue
Pounding heart
Sweating
Constipation
Restlessness
Difficulty Sleeping
Muscle Tension
****Emotional Symptoms of Stress****
Frustration
Depression
Mood Swings
Fear
Anxiety
Quick to Anger
Worrying
Stress is a normal human reaction that happens to everyone, in fact, the human body and lifestyle is designed to experience stress and react to it. People do find it difficult to manage and cope with stress during and stress is part of human life. This festive period we are likely to encounter two or more stresses.
****How do I Manage my Stress****
You cannot eliminate all your stress, rather stress management technique s are designed to keep stress levels within an optimal range.
These days it's hard not to get overwhelmed once in a while. Shuffling works, family and other commitments, you can become too stressed out and busy. Stress need to be managed. Here are some ways to manage stress
Physical Activity and Exercise; Considerable evidence has accumulated indicating that regular physical exercise is associated with numerous physical and psychological heath benefits. Although, Exercise is technically a stressor itself requiring the body to adapt to the demands of the activity, regular physical exercise can help to reduce the body's reactivity to other stressors.
Relaxation, Mindfulness, and Meditation; These are often thought to be the antidote to stress.When stressed or muscle get tensed relax and Meditate.
Healthy Eating; Eating a regular, good,well-balance diet will help you feel better in general. Meals should be full of vegetables, fruits, and protein for energy. Eating a good food or favorite meal during stress can also help you to control mood.
Take a Break or Adequate Sleep;
When faced with stress you need to plan on some real downtime to give your mind time off from stress. There are situations or circumstances that can result into stress but to avoid accumulated stress a break from such situations like listening to music or watching favorite movies and so on or Adequate Sleep can help to manage and cope with such stressors.
Laughter, Self-Expression, and Social Support; It has long been said that, "laughter is the best medicine". Indeed, we know that laughter produces many positive physiological and psychological changes in the body. Laughter also reduces blood pressure and blood sugar levels, increases blood flow, and improve energy levels. Humor provides a psychological distance from the negative current state and enables us to replace our negative feelings with more positive ones.
Cognitive Restructuring; Often, we presume that the events that we experience have a direct effect on our emotions. It is the meaning or interpretation given to an event that leads to emotion not the event itself. For example interpreting a poor grade to a meaning that you are not very intelligent,or that you will never succeed in school no matter how hard you try or not brilliant, you will likely experience a depressed mood. In contrast, if you interpret the grade as a fluke or a wake-up call you have needed to enhance or improve your motivation for school, your mood will likely be much less negative.
Top Five Richest States In Nigeria
Nigeria is one of the richest countries in the world when it comes to the amount of natural resources within its geographical area. Unfortunately the country has not been able to convert these resources into actual wealth as a result, Nigeria is not among the richest countries in the world in terms of GDP .
There are states in Nigeria that are blessed with natural resources which make them ranked as one of the richest states within the country.
In this article, I will be listing the top five(5) richest states in Nigeria in accordance to their GDP or Internally Generated Revenue (IGR)
(1) Lagos State
Lagos is unarguably the richest state in the country with à GDP of $33.68 Billion. The GDP is the highest in the country. The states cover over 3,000 square kilometers of Land with a population of over 20 million residents. The state is the most developed state in the country making it the center of Nigeria's economy. The major source of revenue is taxes on personal incomes, fines, licenses, fees, levies on business activities, as well as investments within the states.
(2) River State
River's is one of the richest states in Nigeria with a GDP of $21.073 Billion. River State cover a whopping 11,077 square kilometers of land in the south-south region of Nigeria with a total population of about 5.2 million people. The Slogan of River State is the treasure base of the nation, as the state is known for its crude oil deposit. Oil was first discovered in Nigeria in Oloibiri, River State and the sector has gone over the years to become a very important aspect of the country's economy.
(3) Delta State
Just like River's, Delta is one of oil producing states in the country making them of the richest states in the country. The state sit firmly as the third richest state in the country with a total GDP of $16.75 Billion and a total population of over 4 million people. The state has two of major cities in the country Asaba the state capital and Warri, a industrial and commercial hub. The state has many natural resources like limestone, sand, tar and Oil&Gas.
(4) Oyo State
The state has actually has a total population of over 6 million people and a GDP of about $16.12 Billion. The state capital Ibadan is said to be the largest city in West-Africa. The state is located within the Southwest region of Nigeria. The agricultural activities within the state are responsible for its wealth, the state has a vast area of land available for mechanized farming and the climate in the state favour the cultivation of crops like rice,maize, cashew,cocoa and so on.
(5) Imo State
Imo state is another state blessed with natural resources like crude-oil, zinc, white clay, limestone, natural gas and many more. With a total GDP of $14.21 Billion and population of over 4.9 million the state sit as the fifth richest in the country.
The state is located in the south east region of the country, also one of the oil-producing state in Nigeria and engages in palm oil production as there are several palm plantations within the state.
These are top five richest state in the Nigeria, Nigeria as a country is blessed with many natural resources.
