@FrieLincs 28 June 2021

I can’t put my bag down

Onlookers might think that I have something very valuable in my bag. Yes. They’re right. I have  MANY valuable things in my bag. Notebooks, ballpens, wallet, small bags, papers, puller, nipper, nail polish, cutter, pusher, lipstick (of course), ID’s, napkin, and so many more things. When I was in college, I would put everything on my bag, the books, the things needed in school. When someone tries to carry my bag for me, they just gave up. *It’s heavy!* My sister would get irritated by this. *Honestly!* She would say. Then my friends as well. *Seriously?!!!* But then when need arises, they come to me and get what they need. I also am not fond of putting my bag down. For some reason, I just can’t put it down. But when asked about something, I would give. Sometimes, I retrieve my things if they don’t have the heart to return. Sometimes I forget to retrieve what they got from me. I would just then replenish it. Maybe, I could use this as an analogy to my personality. No matter how talkative I am, I always filter what I say. This kind of playing safe sometimes get dangerous. But I wouldn’t want to talk about why in here. The moment I leave my bag and go to town, I would feel very different. It seems as if I have left everything including my soul.  The reason why I can’t leave my bag maybe is I wanted to always have everything ready when I needed them. Like my ID, my wallet, my whatever. My sister on the other hand would manage with just a small pouch and money folded inside her phone’s casing. I wonder why she doesn’t carry anything more. She wonders why I carry so much more than needed. *Just in case…* I would respond. *Okay then…* The problem was that I always get achy arms and shoulders. *That’s what you get..* Well, it’s what I got!!! I would retort! I really can’t put my bag down. And nobody touches my bag except for RenLeaf. There was a time in college when we went to an old caretaker. She glared at me, “What’s your problem? Do you have gold in there? Are we thieves?” I did not get offended since she was a joker. She speaks seriously but she’s humorous. My group laughed hard and they teased me forever. I put down my bag but I keep glancing at it. really, I can’t risk losing anything. I have no money in my bag but everything is valuable. They’re sentimental. I forgot what happened in the end but I bet I wasn’t comfortable during the whole duration of our stay there. Probably because my bag wasn’t near me. I remember also the time when we went faraway for National Youth Day. During the travel going home. I put my bag down on my seat. When we arrived, I totally forgot about the bag and I lost two CD’s and I things I forgot what. Those CD’s contain Christian songs that we would be dancing into when we arrive home. I talked with someone to follow it up but it was lost. No one bothered to give it back to me. After that, I started using sling bags just so I wouldn’t put anything down. When we visited the barrios with the priest, I always carry my black sling bag and never put it down. Inside were hair gel and pomade. Because my hair then was short. I had to fix it always. I felt reluctant donating it to my cousin who attended to us because she gave a lot of reason so that I would give mercy to her. She won. Now, I still am that person who keeps her bag close by. Even at this moment, I have my bag near me. I would open it from time to time to plan in my black planner. Crumpled planner. Just two weeks ago, I had to change bag because my daughter spilled her milo beverage on my bag. I switched to the big pink bag. I had to reorganize so that the one near my body when carrying the bag would be notebook in vertical position. Next would be the stack of papers that I use for my math solutions when needed. Then next would be small bags then my wallet. So there is my heavy big bag. I’m not sure when I will finally sort this thing out. What’s sure is I will always be putting my bag close by whenever.