@Firenze 18 February 2021 edited more from that month

I have walls, but I still trust.

I'm typing this article for almost 2 hrs already but I can't focus because a friend that close to my heart is broken-hearted and in pain, I have to be Dr. Love again...while I'm giving some serious advice, my fiance and our other friend keep on teasing him in our group chat and I just send "ang g*go nyo", I can't even joke because I can feel his pain, being an empath s*cks. He is a special person to me because we're friends for almost 10 yrs. through thick and thin. Anyways, I'm lost hahaha, my topic is not about him lol. Wanna share why I still trust strangers even if I build walls to protect myself. I'm a soft-hearted person and trust people easily. I used to see the beauty in every situation, I used to see the good side of people even if I know their bad traits. But I changed when the guy that I used to trust made something bad to me. I thought that we're friends but he took advantage of me and did something terrible that deserved a punch on his face. For the first time in my life, I was able to punch someone that used to be my friend. Another story is about my high school bestfriend. I cut her out of my life and blocked her in my social media because she's so toxic. She accused me of something even if I explained my side. I only explained once because if she's really a friend, she won't accused me of something that I'm not. Well, that's life, I'm used to it. The last people that I cut from my life are those people that stabbed me in the back because of money. The only mistake that I did was to trust them 100%, even with my credit card. As I said, I trust people easily, but they're not just random people out there, they're my friends, I treated them as my siblings but still money matters to them more than our friendship. That's when I started to build a wall for myself not to get hurt by people that I used to loved and cared for.. When I resigned, and now managing our small business at home. I don't have a staff yet that I can talk to, my team is busy with their job so I can only talk to them after shift. That's when I explore the internet. I looked for a side hustle to maximize our internet, the monthly bill is not that cheap lol. That's when I started to open up myself to strangers. Because I believe that strangers are just friends we haven't met yet. Those people that I mentioned above, I know them all personally and they still chose to stabbed and hurt me. So what will be the difference if I trust other people this time? I started to share some stories of my life by writing articles at Kiki, it's new to me because I don't usually open up to others, even my secrets to my relatives and friends. I just vent out and express my emotions on that platform and as time goes by I met amazing people. I treat them as my friend, genuinely. I cared for them even if we didn't know each other personally. Though I have walls, I still trust when I feel comfortable with the person. I'm a talker lately because I don't have someone to talk to on a regular basis. I'm working alone most of the time hahahaha. To my virtual friends, thank you for being with me virtually. You may not know me personally but I do care for you genuinely. Thank you for making me smile and laugh from a simple conversation, up to your funny and inspiring posts. You're a big part, why my sanity is still intact during these times of pandemic. I don't trust everyone online of course haha, I'm not that naive anymore. I have high walls to other people but I put them down to some because I believe in my guts that those people I chose to trust and open up myself are kind-hearted people. 🖤