@Figlia_di_Dio

When a girl tells you she loves you **WHEN A GIRL TELLS YOU SHE LOVES YOU** Mercedes didn’t have many friends. She had three siblings, an overworking father, an absent mother and an overactive mind. She didn’t think she knew who she was so she found it extremely difficult to be herself around others. Although she had never completed any of her books, she liked to call herself a writer, she also believed she was slightly crazed. Being the first child if her parents, she tried to support her family in any way she could, and even though she had 3 siblings, she didn’t really feel like she connected with them. Not them, not her dad, not the other part-timers at the restaurant she worked and certainly not with the people she referred to as friends. There was one person though. A guy. They’d meet up once in a while and she’d become a broken faucet, her words rushing out of her with no control. They’d argue and she’d cry whenever he disregarded her points. She’d talk about music, books, movies, beliefs, life, death. She’d talk about her confusions and even if he sometimes worsened them, she’d still go back to him. The reason was simple, he listened. He treated her well, spoke to her with respect, was nice all round and, although, she didn’t like the way he reasoned sometimes, she was still comfortable with him. “This must be what it means to be yourself”. That’s what she thought whenever she was with him. She fell in love with him, she pulled herself out, she went tumbling in again. Sometimes, she imagined what a future with him would be like. As she grew older, that love grew bigger. It grew into something else, something too precious to be ruined by something as silly as a relationship. She didn’t want him as a lover anymore, she wanted him just as he was. A friend, a brother, a mother, a teacher, a student, a child, a soulmate. One day, during one of their conversations that stemmed up from what neither of them could ever remember she looked at him with a fond smile and said “I love you”. He played it off as a joke, but when he saw the seriousness in her gaze, he got awkward. Something came up, he had to go. He started giving excuses, reasons why he couldn’t meet up, reasons why he couldn’t talk. He grew distant, she wasn’t fine. Next thing she knew, his family had relocated, he had too. He didn’t tell her beforehand, he was just gone. That was the end of their communication. All that he left was a text message telling her that he didn’t see her that way and that she must have misread his signals. It was after reading this that she realized that he was a nice guy through and through. He wasn’t like that to her because of any connection or whatever, what meant the world to her was a normal thing to him. That’s just how he was to everybody. Still, when a girl tells you she loves you, remove the ‘you’ in the equation. Focus on the ‘she’ and ‘love’ and understand that a person is giving a huge gift, a part of themselves, their love to you. You lose nothing if you accept or reject it. But they are already losing because they are giving out something, something special. Keep that in mind as you make your next move. Amazingly, someone else was already giving his love to Mercedes, all she had to do was turn around, take her eyes of the gone fellow and accept it.

If i don’t wish you on your birthday (P.s i still love you) Was it your birthday? I didn’t know. No, I did know, but I forgot. Silly me, hope you didn’t take it personally. After all, you didn’t wish me on my birthday either. This isn’t me keeping scores, you know I don’t have time for that. My life has been crazy these days, but of course you never cared to ask. It’s just that I was only wished by four people that day and you weren’t part of them. It’s hard to forget that you didn’t wish me when only four people did. We’re not children anymore, why squabble over things like this? If you forgot my birthday, why are you so annoyed that I forgot yours? Maybe it was karma, who knows? You got so many wishes that day, I’m sure. What did it add to your life? So many people posted your picture that day, hope you didn’t mistake it for love. You ought to know better. That wasn’t out of love, dear, that was out of some warped sense of obligation. Did our friendship mean nothing to you? How could you end it over something as minor and petty as that? Something you’re also guilty of. Maybe you think I’m a joke. I think you take me for granted. How could you throw me away like that? You blocked me on social media and ignored my calls. You think they love you, but they don’t. I do! I love you. I still do, although I wish I never did. You don’t love me back. You never did.

Freedom What is freedom? What exactly does it mean to be free? There are so many sectors of life, could it be possible to be free FROM all of them? Or does freedom mean being free IN all of them? Does being free from death mean having life? What would it mean to be free from life? Would it mean to die? If being too outspoken is a problem, does that mean I’m not free to speak my mind? What if I like being quiet? Would it mean that all those who tell me to be more outspoken are trying to take away my freedom? What if I wanted to change my gender, but the law doesn’t allow it? what if I were to love my gender but the church doesn’t allow it? What if there were things I wanted to do that are not allowed by the law? How can you call me a free man just because I got out of jail? What if I had made a family there and didn’t want to leave but you forced me to? Would that mean I’m free in bondage? What if I wanted to end my life but couldn’t because you didn’t let me? Wouldn’t that mean you’re stopping me from being free? Free to do whatever I want to do. We can’t though. Humans can’t ever be allowed to do whatever we want to do or we’ll cease to exist. We would end our race if nothing was standing in our way. So if truly I wasn’t born to do whatever I wanted, does that mean I was born in bondage? What exactly does it mean to be free? I guess we’ll never really know.