Hyperhidrosis.
This has been so embarrassing in different times and stages of my life. I never bothered to find out the meaning or the cause; all these days. But suddenly I picked an interest, I felt it should definitely have a name, so I surfed the internet. I guess that's what writing helps out with. **"It helps you to read and learn more."**
I wouldn't be so sure if this is actually what I have, but it seems like I have all the symptoms of hyperhidrosis. Since I've known myself, I've always been one; who sweats excessively. (Way...above normal) I sweat:
****On my face:**** This one is quite normal.
****My butt:**** The type of sweat that won't allow you get up with ease from a chair, only because you are scared that people; sitting around would see the once dried chair, damp with perspiration.
****My legs:**** This is the most annoying part, it comes out like drops of water, and it comes anytime... Be it when I'm standing or sittng. I can remember vividly those days when I was younger, I'll be on the assembly ground when a teacher would Imag whisper into my ears, asking if I peed on my body. I'll respond by saying: ***"no"*** and she'll just keep staring in disbelief. What about the time when my teenage coordinator quietly asked me why I didn't go to pee in the bathroom, why I peed on my body... I had smiled and told her it was perspiration... She looked with disbelief and repeated the four syllabic words.
I basically stopped using cream because of the way I sweat excessively, (using creams, always worsened the situation, I only use cream during harmattan period) I basically don't like wearing much of shoes, because whenever I sweat, it drops. My feet ends up becoming soaked and thus makes me so uncomfortable when wearing shoes, the sweat from my feet also gives my shoes a kinda odour that makes me so embarrassed when I take it off in presence of people.
What is hyperhidrosis?
**Google defined it as** an abnormal excessive sweating that's not necessarily related to heat or exercise. You may sweat so much that it soaks through your clothes or drips off your hands. Besides disrupting normal daily activities, this type of heavy sweating can cause social anxiety and embarrassment.
I remember when we were all told that the result for second semester exam was out and would be pasted, I was so scared all of a sudden. I'm not a math kind of person, and we did "statistics" I was scared of having a "carryover" in statistics. When I finally went to check, I had seen it already ooh, I had seen that my result was good, but I couldn't help myself from sweating, my dress was soaked and perspiration kept dripping from my hands and legs. I was finally soothed when I saw my friends. That day was really an embarrassing one for me.
Thanks alot for your support.
The common areas of sweating are:
Armpits: Funny enough, I don't really sweat on my armpit.
Face
Palms of the hands: This happens so well.
Soles of the feet: I sweat here on a regular.
Causes of sweating.
Sweating is normal, it occurs in our daily living, but a variety of causes can stimulate increased sweating.
High temperature
Elevated body or environmental temperatures are the primary cause of increased sweating.
Emotions and stress
Anger
Fear
Embarrassment
Anxiety: This was kinda what I felt when I was trying to check my results.
Emotional stress
Foods
I sweat, even when I'm having my bath, the worst part is that I don't even really like fan.
Let me stop here, there's a whole lot to learn about hyperhidrosis. A whole lot; that I failed to mention. You could surf through the internet to grasp and understand more about it.
Happy New month to we all, today is April 1st, 2022. The clock keeps ticking, hours are turning days, days are turning weeks, weeks are turning months... Soon we'll be shouting ***"Happy New Year."***
Thanks to @Aimure, reading his article two days back, made me understand some features of read.cash. I completely had no idea of it before. If you noticed, the way I edited my write-up has changed a bit.
`And lastly:`
Thanks for reading.
Maintaining friendship.
A friend, as some would say; is a soul in two bodies, a shoulder to lean on, a playmate and an adviser...
If you have the perfect friend; hold on tight to him/her, don't let go. Real friends are **rare** to **find**.
My mum and I were involved in a conversation yesterday, she spoke about not having friends and how my elder brother too can't even keep friends. It was then, I realized my elder brother and i, got that trait from her. While my twin brother got his; from my dad.
Of a truth, since my birth and still in view: "I've never seen any of my mum's friends. Classmates, church members..." None; have I seen.
****My elder brother:****
During my childhood years, hardly has there been anyone who comes home to visit my elder brother, I usually wonder why? He doesn't keep too much friends, and even the few ones he has, he can't really maintain that relationship.
****My twin brother:****
This boy is a keeper of friends, he knows so many people, my twin brother can keep friends so well. In school, he's kinda popular, he can call both the old and the young; on phone, he maintains good relationships with the mummies, daddies, course mates, church members, school mates, Facebook... You just name it.
These attributes of his; amongst all others have really made me realize that: ***"Being twins, doesn't mean we'll love doing the same thing."***
I started schooling at the Prestigious Yaba College of Technology in the year "2019," my first semester in ND1, yielded no friends, I'll just come to class, do the needful, ask the governor of the class few questions and zoom off after lectures have ended for the day.
ND1 second semester, I finally interacted with few people.
It was in ND2 that I finally got to know my friends... The only friends I'm still with presently. Since then, I haven't been close with any other person apart from these three friends of mine. (Esther, Joyce and Vicky) I've tried so much, but I just can't make friends or maintain friendship.
If you ask me to name five relationships I maintained from my secondary school years, you'll sit back and hear me bluffing. Of a truth, I can hardly call names. Even the three friends I'm with presently. I can't guarantee a continuous friendship after school life is over.
`I've tried and tried, but I just can't maintain relationships with people.`
It's so hard to pick up my phone and put a call through.
It's so hard to chat with someone I've not chatted with for eons.
It's hard to call the parents of children I had once taught in time past.
**Me:** Hello ma'am, Good day ma'am, this is Dorcas.
**Her:** Oh! Dorcas, good day, how are you?
**Me:** I'm good ma'am, just called to check on you and the children.
Oh yeah, is it that hard? No; right? So why can't I just do it?.
My brother would always tell me: ***"Dorcas try to keep relationships ooh, call people from time to time, call Mrs Osisami, call Mummy this, call Mummy that..."***
And I'll be like: ***"what would I tell them?, I'm not calling jhoooo, don't worry."***
It's so easy for my twin but so hard for me. I've always been calling myself a **"loner"** I just hope I don't truly end up being so alone.
In case I loose contact with you, or I just suddenly blackout from your phone screen and eyesight, please know that it's not intentional, just try to keep communicating with me please.
I can't even make friends, create or start conversations; even if I badly want to...
**Is this normal?**
**Do I also have people here, that can't maintain relationships?**
No matter what people say. It's really good to socialize and get to know people.
It's good to make and maintain friendship.
****For referrals:**** You could be into a business, your friends or people you know are the ones that would refer you to others for them to come; patronizing you. I've heard so many testimonies from CEO's, as regards this.
**For assistance.**
**For conversations**
**For connection.**
Although the friends I'm seeing these days are not really impactful and helpful In any way, but finding a rare gem in a friend is the best asset you could ever wish to have.
There are friends and there are friends.
I just love writing about myself, (strength and weaknesses) I'm grateful for all your support. It's not taken for granted, I love you all.
Thanks for reading.
Different kinds of people in the examination hall.
I hope I don't end up breaking tables here, this is coming as a realization based on the exam I wrote last week. I realized that there are people who are bosses when it comes to exam malpractices.
****When preparing for an exam, we'll always have people that would never read:**** This first category of people, a day to exam... You'll see them catching cruise, playing and doing all sorts. Opening their books would always be the last thing on their mind. They'll never read.
****The receivers, they never give:**** These ones; their agenda is to ask and ask questions just to make sure they attempt all the questions, they'll never want to support you in the ones you have no clue of and they'll always want to copy the few you've written down. (Run away from these kinds of people).
****The giraffes:**** A giraffe is an animal with tall or long neck, I remember then; back at primary school, anytime a teacher gets a pupil stretching out his/her neck in the exam Hall. **She shouts:** giraffe! Face your work!. These ones are called the neck stretchers, they don't even care to know if you're writing the correct words, their business is to just copy and paste.
****The ones that can land you in trouble with accurate and complete disturbance:**** Flee from the type of people, they won't allow you to focus, once your pen moves a little, they've called your name. I remember when we were writing ***"practice of meeting"*** exams, Joyce sat at the back seat and a guy (course mate) sat directly at the front. Once Joyce hand moves like this, he has called her name.
****The guy:**** Oya tell me, what did you just write?.
****Joyce:**** Wait nau, when I'm through with attempting all my questions, I'll tell you.
****The guy:**** (impatient) no, tell me... Number 5, number 5, have you done it? Let me see. What about number 4?. What's the answer for number 2?
****Those ones that would always want to write as your pen is moving:**** These ones, they don't even want to hear "wait" once they see you've written something, you must tell them as you're writing, else their disturbance would choke you.
****The ones that would carry textbooks into the Hall:**** I call these ones the ***"agbas"*** they are not scared, they are the bold ones, some of them would hide the textbook in their trouser, target the back seat and relax their ass there.
****The ones that finishes first because they did an high level of malpractice:**** All these ones ehn, after they've copied the answer, they'll jump out to submit, while we that are still seating, racking our brains would start feeling depressed and sad.
When we were writing French exam, some people finished so fast. Those people were my course mates, after they submitted, the invigilator started comparing us to them, asking if the people that submitted have two heads. It looked like; we, sitting and still writing did not have brain. Funny enough those people that submitted first, I know them so well, it's either they copied or they wrote jargons.
****The one that even when you are trying to tell them the answer, they'll never hear until you shout. These ones can't read lips at all:**** These kinds of people can be really annoying.
**Anonymous:** Dorcas, what's meeting.
**Me:** Meeting is the gathering of people for discussion and decision making.
**Anonymous:** Ehn?
**Me:** Meeting is the gathering of people for discussion and decision making.
**Anoynymous:** Honestly, it's only decision making I heard.
**Me:** (frustrated) (shouts) Meeting is the gathering of people for discussion and decision making!!!!!!.
**Anonymous:** Okay, thank you.
****The ones that would ask you to take their answer booklet and give them yours so you can write the answers for them:**** These ones are under a very dangerous specie, I mean if I'm caught that's complete expulsion. Do you want to cobalize(I hope I got the spelling) me?. And if you don't do it, you become wicked all of a sudden. They'll boldly tell you to exchange booklets with them.
****The ones that are always prepared for exams, they come in with so much boldness, write what they have to and leave the hall:**** I love these kinds. No stress, these ones are under the intelligent set of people.
****The ones that submits first, some even submits an hour before the finishing time****: These ones have really read their books, they are the first to finish, they are also under the intelligent set of people.
****The ones that has finished writing, but would not submit:**** This set of people are classified in two parts:
Some don't submit immediately because they want to teach their friends or people that needs answers.
The second part are those ones that sits back just because they don't want to be the first to submit and become a center of attention.
**The crammers:** Let me laugh first, these ones are under the set of people that read books at the dying minute, their own is to cram and download it all on their answer booklet, immediately they've sighted the question and after the exam, ask them one question from what they r written and listen to their jargons... 'I do this some times.'
A little dialogue to buttress on this.
**Anoynymous:** Dorcas, howfa, what Is motion?.
**Me:** (still fighting my brain to provide answer to another question) (acts deaf).
**Anonymous:** (Leans back again) Dorcas, Motion.
**Me:** (talking into my mind) Madam, leave me ooh, let me try and remember this answer first, make everybody dae their dae abeg. (Suddenly remembers the answer and immediately writes it down).
**Me:** (smiles, and happy, taps her back) ehnehn, you were saying?
**Anonymous:** What is motion?
**Me:** Okay, Motion is a proposition or proposal put forward for discussion and decision in a meeting.
**Anonymous:** Okay, thanks.
****The chewers, eaters and swallowers of papers:**** Esther told me about a guy that sat close to her during French exam, how the guy kept eating and chewing the papers that has been used. Once he copies the answer from one paper, he chews it and swallows it, brings out the next, copies, chews, swallows and on and on...
And also, there are some that would disturb your life with questions, till the invigilator notices it and changes your seat or tells you to stand up and submit your script.
This would be all for today, I hope you enjoyed reading and I hope I didn't break some tables. Lol
***P.S***: ***This was just meant for fun and nothing more.***
Thanks for reading.
read.cash taught me a lot.
Today, just while reading through articles of other members of this platform. I saw @McYusuf article and it actually gave me an inspiration on how to pen down my words. He wrote about five reasons for loving Read cash and believe me you; as I read through his article, it reminded me of some things I had wanted to talk about read; someday. ****Here it goes:****
My journey so far:
I had always wanted to write about this probably when I'm already a year user on the platform or maybe a user with so many sponsors and probably at least with having above an hundred subscribers, but nay... I guess there are better plans.
read.cash was introduced to me by @Tomi-Ajax may God bless him for me. Funny enough we were to board a bus going to Iyanaipaja from Yaba, that was how we exchanged contacts, through which he saw my WhatsApp bio: **"Christian Writer."** It was there and then it was made known that I am a writer. And that was how @Ellawrites got to know about read.cash
Honestly speaking, it was rosy at first when I started... Rusty visited my very second article, but after that: boom! She visited no more... I got worried, I would always voice out to Ajax, asking questions upon questions, wondering if I was following the guidelines of this community. He would always tell me motivating words that actually calmed me down.
Next thing, was the engagements. It was so poor, I started feeling I wasn't writing well enough. Oh! I forgot to mention that I actually have low self-esteem. Before read.cash, I had always been writing on my Facebook page and WhatsApp status, my Instagram page was an addition. On Facebook. I dare not write lengthy articles. They'll never read it, they'll just click on a reaction (heart) and pass. No comments, no nothing. It was really frustrating. These things added to my low self-esteem, I started feeling I wasn't writing well enough. When read came into play, I decided to grab the opportunity with my full chest and so far so good... It's been really awesome; being on this platform. Though the beginning was never rosy and also I don't want to end up jubilating before the final whistle is blown... Anything can happen so let me remain calm and quiet.
Just like @McYusuf said... read.cash doesn't just help you financially, but it also gives you the chance or privilege to know more people, to explore and to learn more.
Things read.cash taught me and is still teaching me.
**Patience**.
**Consistency**.
****Engagements:**** Now, this is very vital, especially for newbies like me and others. You need to engage on people's articles, make friends via the comment section, learn to interact. Infact; I've noticed that this isn't just applicable to read alone, but to all other social media platforms. A non-fictional story to buttress on this:
Back then, on Facebook. I always post poems and short stories, but I realized that for the poems, I got minimum or no engagements at all. This made me feel bad, I knew what to do, but I still didn't do it... Read taught me this: ***"for others to come around and check what your article is all about; engage in theirs."*** It's a win win situation. Maybe if I had been engaging in all those Facebook articles from other Facebook users; I might prolly have had massive engagements on mine; from them also.
@McYusuf has said basically everything and every reason as to why I love read.cash but then again. In summary:
`I'm so delighted to write on this platform, it's actually overwhelming.`
Read; has helped me out in my writing skills and techniques, it has really been helpful. I guess now, I can call myself a blogger.
Thanks for reading.
Crybaby.
I was at home today; thinking of what to write, when my mind slowly wandered back to **"March 23rd, 2022."** It was a Wednesday, here in Nigeria. I had finished my exams for that particular day, so the plan was to prepare for the next paper.
Here is the full gist:
My friends and I had slept in school during the whole period of our exams, to avoid the traffic jams on Lagos roads, meet up with our exam schedule and also prepare for it by burning candles at night. There was a place in the school; called **"Chapel,"** where we usually kept our big bags(the bag, containing our clothes, brushes, pastes...) After our exams on that particular day, we strolled down to the Chapel to get our bags. On our way there. Esther and I got involved in a conversation.
At what age, does someone become a youth?
**I bluntly said:** once the person is matured and once the person is 18years, one could say the person is a youth. Esther had a different opinion concerning this, she was adamant on her own answer. She said *"eighteen is still under* ***teen,*** *so as long as* ***'teen'*** *is there, one is still a teenager."*
Esther's view on this was: teenage years starts from the age of 13 and ends at the age of 19, while being a youth starts from the age of 20.
I would love to hear your view; regarding this, in the comment section.
That was how the argument erupted. I wasn't willing to surrender and she wasn't willing to as well. We decided to surf the internet for a verified and impartial answer. My first search showed that youth years starts from the age of 18 and ends at 25. Esther was mute at first but still didn't surrender. She asked me to surf for: **"what's the range of teenage years."** I surfed this and Google brought this out: **"13 - 19."** Oh! You bet Esther was overjoyed right now. She started claiming rights and insinuating that ***"how can I say being a youth starts from the age of 18?."*** And then I told her about what Google brought out initially. She ended up claiming that it was wrong. That it was the second answer Google gave; that was right. This pissed me off to a certain level. I said:
**Me:** So, because the second answer corresponds to your thoughts and imagination, that's why you want to out rule the first.
**Esther:** leave it, Google was wrong in the first answer, how can you say youth years starts from the age of 18. Ahan, eigh**TEEN**
Honestly, you should have seen us arguing that day in the school premises. Students; who were passing by must have been wondering what was wrong with us and why we were lashing out at eachother. Joyce could not even control us. Esther was claiming that I was always proving the most intelligent, saying I don't want to accept my wrongs. I also thought the same of her. I was also trying to explain to Joyce about how Esther made me flare up. Joyce wasn't ready to listen or take sides, she just wanted us to settle our disputes and this got me upset with her also.
**Joyce:** You people should stop this, you are friends for crying out loud, you people would still bath together tomorrow morning, why are you acting this way? This was a discussion, why are you guys arguing about it.
**Me:** (in rage) Esther is not my friend abeg ooh.
**Esther:** Joyce, leave this one alone, it's childishness that's doing her, let's go abeg, after all we were together before she came to meet us. **You're the one that caused this thing. You should never had allowed her to be our friend.** (Dragging Joyce's hand to the classroom).
I made those sentences in the last paragraph; bold, because that was what triggered my emotions. That last sentence got me so, so, so sad and taken aback. I couldn't control it. There and then, I made up my mind to never again talk to Esther and Joyce. When I got to the classroom, I laid down in a completely different seat. I didn't stay close to them like I would have; if we were in good terms.
I cried, I cried, I cried.
That kind of tears that makes the eyes really red and swollen,
That kind of tears that brings out catarrh from your nostril,
That kind of tears that you can't stop easily. It keeps coming back and coming back when you try talking or explaining the cause of your tears to someone.
That kind of tears that gives you headache thereafter,
That kind of tears that makes you feel dizzy... **I cried**.
Little wonder why I was actually crying. I guess it's just my nature. Anyways to summarize it all. We've settled though, we settled that day when a course mate of ours (Kingsley) intervened. Even when I was trying to explain my side of the story. I still cried. I could recall Esther asking Kingsley and Joyce: ***Why is she now crying?, what's making her cry? Was she not the one that first said I wasn't her friend?.***
Not just on that day, but on so many other days. That's why I find it so hard to physically talk to people about my hurts or what they did that really got me sad. Some of my course mates have known me for this. Infact; they call me crybaby especially because they know I can't control it once it starts.
I've seen this as a weakness. It is so embarrassing, mostly because I am meant to have outgrown this. This is just the main reason why I don't like voicing out in public, the reason why; if you do something wrong to me. I won't say anything, but I'll wait till I get home, login on Facebook, or come active on WhatsApp to voice out my thoughts and feelings in words and through the media. I get so easily drawn to tears and it's really annoying.
Please if you have any advice on how this can stop. I'll be really grateful.
I could recall a day I went for an ushering job. My boss; who was pregnant at that time, was wrongly accused of taking something that belongs to the caterer of that particular event. She was shouted at by the caterer and was insulted. I definitely wasn't happy or pleased about this. Apart from the fact that I knew my boss didn't take it, My boss was also someone I held so dearly in highesteem. I resolved in my mind to politely talk to the caterer and cajole her to render an apology to my boss for wrong or false accusation.
I rehearsed calmly; what I had to say to her and boldly went over to where she stood.
But guess what?.
Before I was even half away into my speech. I started crying. Now instead of me to do the talking. She was the one; doing the petting. I wasn't happy about this for one bit. The more I tried to talk, the more the tears came in jubilating. I was doing great at first until I looked into the caterer's eyes, that was when the tears had started.
What I hated about this day is that, the tears didn't allow me say all what I rehearsed to say to her. Fine; she grasped and understood. She actually apologized at the end of it all, but I still wasn't pleased. I felt I had made a fool of myself once more in public. To the view of everyone present at that particular point in time.
**I was down, unhappy and sad.**
I cry when I'm angry.
I cry when I'm sad
I cry when I'm hurt
I cry when I try to talk or explain my hurt to someone.
I cry when I feel like. (Lol)
I cry when I watch a painful part in a movie.
I cry when I remember a bad occurrence that made me cry.
I cry when people don't understand me.
I cry when I'm being shouted at.
I cry, I cry, I can't almost all the time.
**Why do I always cry?**
**It's so annoying... Really.**
**I have so many more instances and occurrences, but I'll stop here.**
**Thanks for reading.**
We value what is useful.
Hurray!! My examination has finally come to a drastic end, I'm home now; through with it all and awaiting a good and pleasant result. As some people would say: **"done and dusted."** I'm fully back and online; ready to read your lovely articles, I've missed read.cash alot and I'm glad to finally have alot of time once again to write, read and make new friends.
Okay let's get down to business.
On my way home today; I saw a little boy trying to persuade a lady to buy his nose masks, but even after all his persuasion, the lady still didn't purchase it. It got me zooming into my thoughts, then I realized something; or need I say: a topic came into mind and that's what led me into writing this article.
**We value what is useful.**
Back in the year **"2020,"** when the covid pandemic was really hitting hard into the world. Nose mask was placed on a compulsory term. There was social distancing, infact one couldn't go into anywhere without the use of nose or face mask. People really made money off it. Something that was selling for 0.05 before; suddenly started selling for 0.10, all because the demand for it was on the high side.
Drastically and gradually, the year came to an end. The pandemic wasn't as hot as before. The quest for social distancing gradually reduced and the demand for purchasing nose mask became minimal as the nosemask slowly became obsolete.
I could vividly remember how back then, you can hardly come out of your house without seeing atleast above ten people wearing the face masks. Our fashion designers didn't let us down as they kept sewing face masks in different lovely Ankara colors or styles.
Now, where am I heading?.
After this little analysis, I realized that we only value what it useful. Face mask was highly useful; two years back and it was highly sought for and valued, but as the clock ticks by, it's gradually becoming obsolete (outdated), it's worn in places like banks and some schools. I don't know about other countries but I'm directing my thoughts to Nigeria alone.
Those in Nigeria would know the recent development of table water, how it increased, double the price it was sold years back, but guess what? People still buy it all the same and that's because **"water has value"** even if there's an hike in the price, it still has value all the same. One would say: ***"water is life."***
There are some things we don't bother purchasing once the price for it becomes on the high side. Those things aren't really valued, but for things that are valued; no matter what the price turns out to be, our need or want for such commodity would still lead us into dipping our hands into our pockets to purchase them. That's because it's very useful to us.
****Why am I saying all these?:**** It's just to buttress or shed more light on what I'm trying to portray.
If you don't have value, people won't need you.
Yes, read that again.
Different experiences; mine and from other's has made me come to a realization that: if you don't have value, you'll hardly be sought out for.
Now, there are different examples to cite here, but I'll make them limited. Let me share my personal story.
When I started my National diploma program, during my first year to be precise, I had two friends; who I was always with, we would sit together, eat together, go home together... These friends of mine always depended on me during test and exams, infact I could literally say: there was totally and absolutely nothing I can say I gained from hanging around with them. (Save the biscuits and food they got me; sometimes). Lol.
During test, they would never read; after all Dorcas is their friend and she'll definitely read and share her answers with them.
During exams too, it was the same line; playing out itself.
I got totally frustrated and started craving for another kind of friendship, that kind of friendship that:
We would read together,
Share ideas together,
Debate with each other,
Learn from each other...
I was literally tired of my initial friends so I decided within me to change my friendship circle and I did. I met another set of friends, I was actually the one who striked a conversation with them, I had been watching them from a distance before I finally walked up to them and that was because they had more value. I started following them instead. One of them was so good at typewriting, the other was very good at grasping fast and understanding, I was massively good at writing in shorthand. This way; we learnt from eachother, I wasn't the only one contributing, now; I was learning from them and they were also learning from me.
Don't quote me wrong, my initial friends are still useful in some other things but just not education inclined. I value this ones more; because they're useful to me educationally.
Someone (name withheld) said this to me, few days back:
**Anonymous:** The annoying thing here is that she doesn't even read at all, she just solely depends on me to download answers to her during exams, and when you're even trying to tell her, she keeps writing it slowly and saying: "ehn?" That's why the invigilator moved me away from my previous seat, it was because she caught me talking to her.
A quote says: When you are loaded; you'll be needed.
Most people; these days don't like hanging around with people that just take and takes, but never gives. In this sense; I mean: **"people that are just interested in what they can gain from you, but have no value whatsoever to give to you."** To be greatly sought for, you have to be loaded, you need to have value. People need to see your worth and know that you're alot of asset on its own.
****In businesses:**** Employers need competent an skilled employees, not lazy ones. In some organizations: it's what you have to offer that would determine what you'll be offered. If you don't have enough to offer, your pay would either be low, or your presence won't even be needed in your absence. They won't refer or recommend you to others, when they see that you have no value whatsoever.
These days; some people are not using certificate or age anymore. They are using experience and what you can actually offer, how useful you can be to them.
**But if you have value, you'll be highly useful, highly recommended, highly sought for.**
In essence:
Try and add value to yourself, don't become obsolete. Obsolete things are hardly and rarely sought for. Learn more, read more, get to know more. Add more value to yourself and you'll be useful.
****Appreciation:**** Thanks to everyone, my subscribers, commenters, sponsors, likers, readers and upvoters. I love and appreciate you all.
My week.
This is just going to be a summary of how my week has been so far. It has really been stressful and stress filled. I've not been able to write an article since Wednesday and that's basically because of the stress
I've missed this app and all other social media platforms because of my exams so far. Reading people's post and all; would continue from tomorrow after my exams are finally over. (Sighs in relief) **oh I can't wait!.**
****Monday:****
On Monday was the most stress filled day, we were to have a **"Computer based test"** exam (CBT). Ranging from printing out the CBT schedule to sitting down in the sport center for over an hour, all because we needed to get a pass card. After sitting there, we finally got a pass card for the exam, the time was **3 '0' clock** by now, upon getting the pass card; the queue alone was terrible, we still had to go and queue with people, standing under the sun for over **30minutes,** we actually forced our way in when they weren't planning to let us in. **Oh!, Glory!** We finally wrote the 30minutes exam and evacuated the exam Hall... (Stressed!!).
****Tuesday:**** This was another day of exam, we did **"research methods"** and for real; this was the exam I know I didn't really put in much effort. But glory to God; I'm grateful for all.
I've been sleeping in school since Monday to be precise. It hasn't been a lovely experience; sleeping in the classroom is really something else, but I had too; especially because where I reside is quite far from my school. From Tuesday night, the stress increased to the greatest maximum. No rest at night. People complaining of missing phones, people complaining of stolen phones, night fights, part-time and full-time quarrel against each other. Waking up by 2am to take my bath before going back to sleep.
I can't really explain all what it entailed, school life is quite stressful too, so most of you (undergraduates) would understand me.
It has just been stressful.
Wednesday, Thursday and today hasn't been as stressful as the former, that's probably why I have time to type this. After this, I will still go; reading people's articles, making out some comments and upvoting. If yours isn't among, please pardon me. I have limited time to do this, since I still have to prepare for my final paper tomorrow.
****Appreciation:**** Thanks to my subscribers, sponsors, commenters, likers, upvoters and readers. I love and appreciate you all.
Right now, I'm so excited in anticipation for tomorrow, I really can't wait to finally wrap up my exams.
Thanks for all your support.
Reacting on impulse.
I've always wanted to write about this; my feelings, my emotions, it seems like most people just don't understand me; and no, I'm not claiming rights. I'm also doing my very best to turn a new leaf.
**What impulse is all about:**
Impulse is basically doing something without deep thoughts about it or critical thinking. It's more like buying on impulse (you have $2.00 and you are probably planning to save it or get something, and while walking on the road, you see or perceive the aroma of something edible. Without thinking about it or planning towards it. You dip your hands into your pockets; removing the $2.00, you put it out to purchase the junk. You end up munching on it and after the excitement, you realize you should have controlled yourself and spent the money wisely.)
Funny enough; some of us don't even feel bad after spending extravagantly. Instead we comfort ourselves by saying: **"more will still come by."**
**Impulse behavior:**
For someone who has an impulse behavior, he or she bears no thoughts of the consequences of one's action, no control, no deep or critical thought. One acts quickly with no thought of the consequences. Most times one regrets after the deed has been done, while some refuses to see and admit their wrong doings. When most people react on impulse, there's nothing on their mind beyond that exact moment. This is one bad attribute of mine. I have reacted so many times on impulse and I end up regretting; once the words have been uttered. So many occasions to buttress on this, but I'll mention a few.
**My impulse behavior.**
I am someone who reacts so quickly, I don't sit down to analyze issues and occurrences before concluding and worst still, after the conclusion have been made and the rude words have been uttered, the truth dawns on me, it suddenly makes me realize my wrong doings, but then again; it's too late to take back the already uttered words.
There was a team I was in; it was a singing team, they sang songs and also composed songs. It was a team of two male vocalist and three female vocalist, I joined them in the late months of last year and I've been singing and attending rehearsals with them. It was all a mixture of happiness and stress, the stress was quite terrible, but I had to make that sacrifice; especially because I've always wanted to be in a choir of singers.
`Something happened.`
This year; a month back to be precise, the leader of the team messaged me directly on WhatsApp; stating his decision to make his team an **all male choir of singers.** In plain words; he was writing all the girls off. I took this new setup warmly; I had always had this gut feeling that one day, something like this would occur, so I wasn't surprised.
But,
Few days after the information was given, I viewed his status and saw on it that at the last rehearsals, some girls were present. **Guess what?.** I flared up, I started ranting into the voice note; I was extremely rude and intolerable.
****Me:**** (speaking or rather I say; shouting into the WhatsApp voice note) if you wanted to remove me from the team, you should have done it without lying!, There was no need for you to tell lies about removing all the girls from the team, after all the stress I went through; attending vigil rehearsals, paying for costumes, being in traffic for hours, the least you could have done was to remove me respectfully and not by lying!!!. Anyways; I wish you the best, do have a nice day ahead. Good riddance!!!.
Few minutes later, I sat down to actually analyze some questions:
Why would he lie?
What could have been his reason, or what would make someone like him tell lies just to remove me from his team?.
Was there any motive?.
After all these analysis; I realized I was wrong to have concluded so fast. It was then, I remembered they were all scoring a song composed by them, late last year. It was then, I realized that the girls were only present at the rehearsals because of that particular song. It was then it dawned on me. But; it was too late. The voice note had been sent and he had listened to it already and you could bet he didn't take it likely with me.
This and many more occasions, I've come to realize that "no one would understand you, they'll only understand the words you've said to them and those words cuts deep scars into their skin; 'they are hardly ever forgotten.' it's just up to us to find ways to conquer our impulse behaviors, be it in spending or reacting to something on impulse.
What are the ways?.
A friend of mine has always told me to learn to calm down when I'm upset, he has told me to always learn to keep quiet and just not utter a word till the anger dies down before I finally speak.
Anger is an emotion, it's not bad; everyone gets angry from time to time and that's normal, but where the opposite of normal troops in is when, we are not able to control our anger.
Be still, don't speak, think more and speak less.
****Walk away:**** Sometimes when something happens and you find it so uneasy to control your anger, just walk away and come back to the issue once your mind is settled.
****Choose to ignore:**** if you know you can't handle the matter politely and ask questions politely, just ignore and if after this, you come back to the right frame of mind; you could walk back to ask questions.
Thanks for reading, I'll be delighted to see you all contributions to this. You could add in; more ways you feel "reacting on impulse" can be controlled.
****Special Appreciation:**** I'm grateful and deeply honored to have an huge sponsorship from a famous person on this platform; I hope I don't let you down. Thanks for trusting me enough to sponsor me, @Talecharm a big shout-out to her, her articles are top-notch. You should go; subscribe to her page.
I'm also grateful to @Tomi-Ajax for renewing his sponsorship with me. Thanks alot, I deeply and sincerely appreciate.
****Final Appreciation:**** To my readers, subscribers, commenters, sponsors, likers and upvoters, thank you all for this gesture. I'll see you again in my next article.
****Apologies:**** Recently, (Monday) I've not been able to post an article, I didn't post one in the last two days and that was because of my exams. I squeezed through time to post this article today. Can't wait for the final wrap up of the exams on Saturday. I've not also been reading most of your beautiful articles save some which I read. I'll make it all up and read them all; once my exams are over.
Thanks alot for your support.
Dehydration.
It's Sunday and it's a new week, wishing you all; a blissful and productive week ahead.
This week is going to be really hectic for me,but if I manage my time properly; I should still be able to post and engage on people's beautiful articles. My first semester exams would fully kick off this week, I can only pray for grace. I deeply hope that it doesn't turn out like last semester's examination, where some people died during exam period, some fainted in the exam Hall, some people missed out on writing their papers due to one thing or the other and so many more I can't remember. I'm grateful to God for his mercy and Grace.
****Special Appreciation:**** I should have done this earlier, I'm sorry I failed in that. I deeply want to express my gratitude to my sponsors. They are really awesome; thanks for trusting me and thanks a bunch for your support. @MichaelBCH @thelostadult95 @Tomi-Ajax they are really great people,you should check out their articles.
Dehydration.
Last week Sunday was medical Sunday; it was an awesome Sunday and all what was said was really enlightening and insightful, I should have written this article last week but I couldn't due to "***part-time schooling"*** stress. All what I'm going to write today is purely what I was taught on Sunday, I would really be glad to see your contribution to this topic. `We learn everyday.`
**What is dehydration?.**
Dehydration, simply put; is when your intake of water is lesser than the water that goes out of your body system. Or better still, dehydration is when you're loosing more water than you're taking in.
In my country, bottled water has increased by times two of the initial amount, and soft drink has reduced in size but it's still the same amount to purchase a bottle water. Most times; when I'm inside the bus and I'm really thirsty, if I don't see an hawker who sells sachet water, I don't bother purchasing it; instead I usually opt for soft drink. Normally; my mentality is that I can get sachet water (half the price of bottled water) and it would even have more quantity than the bottled water itself. Whenever I see people purchasing bottled water, I keep wondering: ***"why can't they purchase soft drink instead? At least it tastes better than water."***
The teaching on `Dehydration,` last week Sunday; completely changed my thinking faculty. I now understand perfectly well that ****"water has no substitute"**** once you're thirsty and you feel the need to drink water, get it and drink it, don't replace it with soft drink or any other all because they are all liquid substances.
Dehydration can affect anybody and it has different stages:
Mild dehydration.
Moderate dehydration.
Severe dehydration.
**Features of dehydration.**
****Eyes:**** Sunken in eyes.
****Tears******:** when a child cries but tears aren't coming out of the child's eyes.
Mouth and tongue appears dry.
**Fast** **breathe**.
**Constipation**.
**Dizziness.**
Skin looks dry.
He further spoke about severe dehydration and what he said here made me to wander back; enough to remember pulling my mum's skin and watching it slowly go back to normal. Immediately I learnt this, I phoned her to tell her to start drinking enough water. When we met; I stylishly pulled her skin again and it didn't go back `slowly.`
*I was glad.*
If you pull your skin and it goes back; slowly, it's severe dehydration.
We loose water from our body system when we sweat, urinate, cry, spit, breathe, talk... etc.
The main cause of dehydration is poor fluid intake. When we don't take enough water. I remember when I was still in the game of teaching, a parent always complained about her child.
What was the complaint about?.
****Parent:**** Chizaram likes water, I don't know why? She drinks water too much and that's why she is always going to the toilet to urinate.
****Me:**** I noticed it ma'am, every second; Chizaram is struggling with her bag, to take out her bottle and drink water. I can't even count the number of times she comes to me; telling me, she wants to drink water. When her water gets exhausted, you'll see her fighting with the water bottle, just to figure out if an invisible amount of water can pour out. And when nothing comes out. She comes back to me, telling me she her water is exhausted and she wants to drink water.
I actually never understood then, but I understand it now. All of a sudden I'm glad she loves drinking water.
**How to treat dehydration?**
**Drink water.**
**Drink enough water.**
**The quantity of water you take should increase; depending on the activity.**
**Just drink water.**
****Appreciation:**** Thanks to everyone: *"my subscribers, sponsors, upvoters, likers and commenters." I love and appreciate you all."*
Last minute.
**Dying minute**
Dying minute as the term signifies, simply means doing something at the eleventh hour, doing something very late or extremely late. (Just like having all day to do the laundries without doing it till the sun sets, and boom! You realize you don't even have what to wear for an occasion that would take place on the next day, you quickly do a few laundry and start put the damp or moist dress under the ceiling fan for a quick and easy dry).
I realized something; getting first class isn't hard in anyway, it just entails consistency. You must be consistent in your grade points, right from 100 level; down to 400 or 500 level, depending on your course of study. It's just like read.cash, getting engagements on your article just shows you are engaging on others', you just need to read theirs and comment or upvote, for most of them to visit and read yours. It's a ***win win*** situation. Why did I state this? "you need to do some certain things to secure you a ****first-class**** seat."
First class in higher institution also entails consistency, continuous reading and resilience.
Buying all textbooks, attending all classes, doing all tests well and endeavoring to submit all assignments. It's actually no big deal especially when **school is for you.** I said that; simply because, there are some people that might just not make it through education, they are gifted with something else, probably a skill or something, but for the ones who feel that education is all it is. Bagging a first class degree isn't hard in any way, and even if you don't feel that way, it still isn't that hard to bag a first class degree.
Why am I writing about this?.
I thought about this, this morning while I was reading or need I say (cramming) for an exam I have later in the day, and decided to use it as an article. Most of the articles I write; if you've observed are always in someway related to me. ***(I just love writing about my feelings and through this, I learn from myself, I see my flaws and it makes me advice myself more and probably advice others'who walks in my shoes, just by reading through what I wrote about.)*** That's by the way; now back to the issue on ground.
****Consistency.****
I've come to realize that in literally everything: consistency is the key. No wonder they say: `Practice leads to perfection.`
****In singing:**** be consistent.
****In playing an instrument:**** be consistent.
****In writing:**** be consistent and read more.
****In drawing:**** be consistent.
****In dancing:**** be consistent.
****In reading:**** be consistent and you'll gain more knowledge from it.
****In literally everything:**** just be consistent.
Back to the title of this article, I'm sorry I deviated a little bit, although it was still quite related in a way.
I don't know if it's just me, but the truth is that most people love doing things at the dying minute. Writing exams and test these past few years made me realize something: ****the questions they set are just not as hard as some of us figure them to be. They are questions that has been taught to us, questions that are familiar, they aren't strange questions, but guess what? Some of us would still end up saying it was very difficult. Why? Because, we failed to read.****
I, for one, love doing things at the dying minute, I just don't know why. Not too good; I know, but it just happens. I'm working towards a change though.
Back in school, the lecturer tells us: *"there would be test next week, prepare for it, it's twenty marks."*
****Me to myself:**** Aah, thank God I still have few days to revise, atleast five days in a weekday. I can shuffle out time to read.(envisaging myself answering questions in split seconds)
**Day one:** nothing.
**Day two:** nothing.
**Day three:** nothing.
**Day four:** nothing.
**Day five:** nothing.
**Day six, which is the day for the test; very early in the morning:** (Am seen with my notebook, trying to cram it all and lamenting on the fact that I'm just reading).
Not nice.
Sometimes when I'm writing a test, and I see some questions I have no idea on. The feeling that the question is actually simple, but I was the one who decided not to read; hits me deep inside. I'll be left wondering and lamenting on the ***"had I known"*** phrase.
It's wrong, it's very wrong. Apart from reading and bagging a first class degree. In our daily routine, some of us; not all, love doing things at the dying minute. **"Myself"** for an example.
I want to go out on a week's journey. Instead of me to prepare ahead, it's on the Dday. The morning to the day I plan to go out that you'll see me arranging and fixing up my clothes amongst others. I've gradually started changing though.
There are lots of advantages one gets from preparing ahead.
**Freedom from tension:** A person who has thoroughly been reading; even when there was no exam, won't be tensed at all, unlike those who reads when exam is a day or two days away.
**Would always be prepared:** A person who always prepares and plans ahead would and can never be caught off guard, it could be an impromptu test, it could be a sudden call to do something. Someone who hasn't been planning and preparing ahead would end up missing out on alot of things. (Carry-overs and the likes of it).
There are so many other reasons or advantages; like **minimizing** **uncertainties, goals are easily achieved**, planning helps in achieving economics and so much more.
To wrap it all up; planning and preparing ahead is very essential to live a stress free life.
****Appreciation:**** Special thanks to my sponsors, readers, commenters, subscribers and likers. I love and appreciate you all.
The beginning isn't all rosy.
This issue just would let me no rest to have, I'm presently feeling deeply sleepy, but it just came into my mind and how else can I express myself if not by writing out my feelings.
It's hard.
Sometimes I just sit back to think: "why is the process looking so long, looking like one would never get to its edge, the pang of denial; breaking in continuously." I read an article from one of my sponsors wall today and I was just wowed, what he said was mostly how it works. He spoke about a writer; denying himself of sleep just to make out a beautiful article, I mean; some writers if not all, also make researches, just for a well laid out write-up, just to catch the readers mind. What about the imagination and all it is to actually create the write-up, the brain work, the mind work; just to make sure everything is in perfect order. And after all these, what next?. No feedbacks, no comments, no nothing.
It's painful oh, I must say, even though I know it's just a phase. Need I share my experience.
I'm actually into writing poems apart from random write-ups and all. But my poems are mainly based on Christianity, of recent; I've been trying to adapt into the life of writing on other niches. The journey has really been hard ooh, sometimes after racking my brain to come up with a good poem, with the joy of posting that on my WhatsApp status, Instagram page, Facebook page and the likes. Getting little or no feedbacks can really be hurtful. Although of recent; I've tried my best not to allow that be a bother to me. I know the end picture is going to be bright.
The beginnings is always the hardest and the toughest, sometimes I wonder if that's how everyone started. I've been in stages where I'll just want to give up and forget about the whole issue. I mean imagine having sleepless nights just to come up with a powerful write-up and boom! No one just shows interest in what you wrote. "No views, no comments, no feedbacks" really!!!. Not too good.
The newbie journey, the starting point, to me is the hardest, but we'll get there someday, I hope.
I decided to write about my current feeling right now, that's why I voiced this out.
What other advice can I give? Well, this isn't my breaking point. I'm actually advising myself and those who would actually read this; don't you dare relent In your efforts. I read a quote which stated:
"People only care about the success, and not the days and nights before the success"
That simply means that, when you've finally built up followers and when you've started making money off it, people would start engaging more, most might not be for the fun of it but just to be noticed.
We'll get there.
I've learnt that, as a newbie: to get readers on read.cash, one needs to engage more on other people's article. And believe me, I think this also works on other apps or platforms.
In the end though, "we'll get there, just don't give up, don't relent." I remember these words being said by the person who introduced me to this app: @Tomi-Ajax . I must say a "big thank you" to him for his support and all, he's one of my sponsors too, and believe me; his wall is filled with interesting articles and motivating write-ups; I learn from them all, everyday. Thanks a whole bunch.
`And I know that day holds in its hands; stars that shines brighter than the others.`
`The beginning is not the issue, but your resilient attitude towards it would determine if you deserve to be called a success.`
Give in not to the troubles and pains of today. Instead look at the bigger picture.
This is an advice to myself and the others who consciously or unconsciously walks in my shoes.
****Appreciation:**** A big thanks to my subscribers, commenters, upvoters, sponsors. You all are greatly loved by me.
Who is a friend?.
I've missed this platform.
When I told someone how busy I was of recent; especially since exams are fast approaching. He told me to learn how to prioritize and plan efficiently, so there it is; no excuse for my negligence. But either ways, I've missed out on reading people's articles.
After shuffling through my thoughts, I came up with this; from what transpired amongst my friends and I, on Saturday... Honestly; it wasn't really pleasant to me, I'll appreciate your comments, if you have anything to **add** or **subtract.**
I'll start with this:
During my growing up years, I learnt from someone's definition: "A friend Is a soul in two bodies."
When one says something like this, it simply means: A friend shares everything with you: **"your joy, your pains, your problems, your solutions, your successes, your acceptance, your rejection." He/she shares it all with you...**
It's hard for me to just call people my friend, just because I'm close to them, it's easy to refer to them as such but are they really worth to be called that name. **"Friend."**
I work with you, and we get along well, someone walks up to me and asks: ***"how is your friend?"*** I'll say: ***"not my friend, but my very good colleague, and she's fine."***
We are studying the same course and we get along well, someone walks up to me and asks: ***"how is your friend?"*** I would rather say: ***"not my friend, but my coursemate, and he's fine."***
But of recent, I've been left wondering... To think that it's actually the closest people to me who doesn't even see my worth. I mean, where are those friends that sticks to you no matter what? Those friends that got your back always, those friends that are always there for you? The ones who believes in you when the world says otherwise? It's so funny to think that such friends; I've seen not.
I have three close friends in school and the painful part of this is that I'm anti-social... I rarely and hardly ever get to mix up with people even if I so badly want to... Since my first year in school up until now, I've been with just three friends, but of recent; their comments aren't just sparking my interest anymore.
I'm into a business, I work as a dropshipper, posting different wears for the CEO of Mobiscouture and Consult, but none of my friends have shown interest; not even that atleast make some comments as regards my business...
I post a video of when I'm dancing, none of my so called friends makes any comment, instead they tell me I can't dance.
Something, one of them said on Saturday sparked up this write-up...
She said, and I quote: ***"I don't even view her status like that again, because what she posts Is just too much."***
Not like I'm expecting that much from them all but at the long run, they were meant to be my friends, friends stick to eachother no matter what, besides it's not like whatever I post is irrelevant and useless, but nay, they have never appreciated it.
My write-ups; poems and all, my own so called closest friends have never for once dropped a comment on it... I get most comments from people I'm not that close to, the least amongst people, people i never imagined would actually give a feedback.
I am not really complaining, but am complaining, am I really with the right kind of people?...
I've always wanted a friend that's god-fearing.
A friend that sticks to you no matter the crisis
A friend that encourages you even when you aren't getting it right.
A friend that cares so much about what you are doing.
A friend that hypes you towards success.
Oh! And so much more...
Friends are rare to find and I guess I just haven't found mine... I remember; reading through one of those too bloggers article, he blogged about **"positive mindset."** And to be honest, he wrote about friends, and how they contribute to your success or downfall. You can't have a friend who sees only the bad in you, who never applauds you for the ***right*** you do, if you have someone you call ***friend,*** and that person just loves negativity and sees negativity in everything, then check again, and move out of that circle.
My friends are also awesome in other aspects, but I crave for more and more; I'll find.
I need supporters, people; who I know would refer me to opportunities; as I would to them. People who sees positivity even in negative situations.
Friendship is beautiful and I know I'll have a feel of that, someday.
****Appreciation:**** Thanks to all those who takes time to read my article. My sponsors, likers, commenters, readers, those who upvotes, I love you all.
In due time; it will work out fine.
**November 7, 2000**
Grandma always read her folktales every night. Flora would crawl into Granny's lap, with a cute curvy smile slightly formed on her face; as she listened to Granny's stories, riddles and lullabies.
As Flora aged, they had to find another place of residence. Time; spent with Grandma became limited, limited to only Christmas holidays.
Today was another night; another night to tell and hear a story.
This time around, Flora wasn't crawling, she was actually a decade older than the 9 months old baby of years ago.
Flora hurried up; hastily munching into her supper, today was a very special day... And that was because; after this particular night, Flora won't see Granny till the next Christmas holiday.
Flora hurried up to where Granny sat in; waiting. Today's story was very much different from the others, granny decided to tell Flora a more educative story. A non-fictional story; an advice for Flora to learn from.
It went thus:
In due time, but for the meantime; follow the process.
Granny took her time to illustrate to Flora how a child is conceived and given birth to, she spoke about the pains the mother of the child might face; from conception stage to delivery stage.
She began: ***"Nine months, it takes; for a woman to deliver her child, nine months of waiting,"*** granny said: ***"when I wanted to give birth to your mother, I was a bit tired of the process, I just wanted this child to quickly come out, so I can finally have her to myself, all cuddled up in my arms, but I had to be patient,"*** she said: ***"I had to be patient; embracing the waiting period, looking at the big picture":*** she said empathetically.
After delivery, the baby just kept crying for everything, at first it was hard for me to understand your mother's language of tears, but with time I had to adjust, but then I started wishing; wishing she'd immediately call me "Mummy," and her dad; "Daddy." But again; I got none of that so easily, I had to wait for few more months before she started speaking incoherently. Oh!, The joy I felt the very day she said the word: "M..u..mm..y"
When your mother(Beatrice), started schooling, it was as if the whole English and everything about it, should just enter into her brain, I wanted; so badly to start hearing her speak, spell and say things correctly. I wanted; so badly to see her write "a - z," without missing out on a letter, I wanted her to write 1 to infinity; correctly, without a second glance. At a point in time; her mates were all doing better than her in school; with your mother lagging so far; behind. I wanted her to just understand things immediately, at some point, I started arguing with her teachers; to put in more effort. But it just didn't go that way, it followed the gradual process. Oh! I didn't say; but it took me ten years into my marriage before I could conceive your mother; who is my only child. I waited that long, I almost had it all crumbling to shreds, I wanted to have a child so quickly, I was tired of the process, but I had to wait." Granny swallowed saliva and sighed before she continued. ***"Nne, you're aging so fast, but I don't want you to be hasty with things, take note of time and use it wisely, always remember; everything follows a process, your friends might be doing better and probably far better than you but still, don't ever compare. Just keep up with the good and positive aim you're shooting at; with time, you'll get to meet your target."***
Flora nodded her head in the affirmative as granny gave her a tight embrace, she whispered a short poem, a poem she had written down; back into the years she was in the waiting room; crying for the fruit of the womb. She whispered that poem into Flora's ears, it reads:
*Don't feel bad,*
*Don't feel sad*
*Be happy and smile,*
*For in due time;*
*Everything would work out fine.*
***"Thanks Granny,"*** Flora whispered back and tightened herself into the embrace.
`That night; marked the last night Flora ever saw Granny.`
**Present Day:**
***"Miss Flora Fiora, for the death of Mr Brooks and Miss Doris, your fraudulent act and the damages you caused to their children, here's my verdict." You're hereby sentenced to life imprisonment, no bail would be issued out; this time"***
Court!!!!!
Tears rolled down Flora's cheeks, she knew that this time around, she won't be granted a bail, she whispered inaudibly: ***"I'm sorry, Granny."***
**Thanks for reading this short story of mine.**
****Lesson learnt:****
"Life; follows a gradual process, time waits for no man... But then; as long as you're doing what is right, keep doing it, keep up with it, don't relent, don't give up and always remember: `"IN DUE TIME,` but in the `MEANTIME`, follow the `PROCESS"`
Don't let oppression and depression decide the angle in which you drive your motion, don't feel bad when you see people progressing, don't allow it weigh you down.
`Remember this poem:`
`Don't feel bad,`
`Don't feel sad,`
`Be happy and smile,`
`For in due time;`
`Everything would work` `out fine.`
Just keep up with the positive thing you are doing, one day you'll make it and all this issues; piercing your heart now, would just be stories and mere stories to tell others.
****Appreciation:**** To all my readers, subscribers, commenters, upvoters, likers, sponsors; amongst all others. I say a big **"Thanks."**
****Disclaimer:**** All words, written here are mine, no form of plagiarism. Any similarity in my choice of words and other articles; you might have come across, are mere coincidences.
My Twin.
Ever since I started blogging on this platform, I've always had the intention to write, one day about my twin brother. I'm a twin, my twin brother came out first and actually did come out, five hours before I did. Ever since then; we've always been together and you know, **fought with each other and fought for eachother.** If you've been following me up on my articles, you'll read on my second article on this platform ***"Say no to comparison."*** Now; that was one part I never liked or loved. The fact that I was compared negatively to him, all because he performed better than I did or ever could have imagined.
My twin and I were birthed on July 16th, we attended the same schools, ranging from nursery to higher institution, I've always had his backing, when I was in secondary school.
There are some things that are common in twins and even siblings, let me highlight and explain some of the issues we had.
****Quarreling:**** Back in the days of yore, we always found ourselves quarreling about a thing or another, little disagreements that would lead into days of not talking to each other, it wasn't nice though, at some point, we'd even forget that we are quarreling and mistakenly ask eachother a question and from there, we'd be back on track.
****Food:**** Now, food is one thing, my brother doesn't joke with, whenever he gets back from school or from teaching (after our secondary schooling, we taught for awhile before pursuing a degree in an higher institution) so whenever he got back from teaching, the first place he goes to; is the kitchen. Oh!, If he doesn't meet any meal inside the pot and there's no explanation for it, just know his twin sis has herself to blame.
****Gist:**** My brother is someone who doesn't like too much talk about people, he'll always remove his ears whenever I start with the phrase ****"have you heard?"**** His nonchalant attitude towards this could really be somewhat depressing.
****Wishing he was a female:**** Most times, during our arguments, you'll hear me shouting the *"I wish you were a girl, why are you a boy self?*(sucking teeth's) and he'll go on shouting *"he also never liked the fact that I'm a girl, I should have been a boy."*
We don't quarrel this much anymore though, we hardly even ever quarrel, you know the saying: "one gets wiser when one gets older" putting away childish things and all, but apart from the troubles aforementioned, my brother was also very loving and caring.
The positive things I loved about being his sister.
**Gist partner:** My brother is my gist partner, I tell him things easily, even things that are meant to be kept secret. He listens once it's not gossip.
**Funny:** My brother is one humorous kind of person, from the way he talks, his expression and all at some certain time can make you jeer into laughter. I remember those days when I would take his biscuits or his provisions. And he'll come back and be like: **"who is that rat that took my garri?, Dorcas, do you know of any big rat in this house that takes my things without my permission?"** And (chuckles) I'll be like: **"no ooh, rat khe, I've not seen the rat ooh, we need to find that rat."**
**Protector:** I must admit and say this, I enjoyed the fact that my brother and I were in the same school and class, especially during secondary section, the fear of his punches made most guys stay off my lane.
My twin is honestly awesome, he advices too, he teaches, he puts me through in maths and other subjects in which I'm just not familiar on, he's all the good things you can think of or imagine. Here's a poem I wrote for him, sometime ago:
Ooh dear brother,
Born from the same mother,
Sharing the same number.
Ooh dear brother,
Grown, under the same weather.
Before, you were shorter.
But now, taller.
Ooh dear brother.
Nurtured together
By the same father
Breast fed,
By the same mother.
Ooh dear brother,
Attended the same school together.
Shared the same class with each other.
Ooh dear brother
We've had our differences,
more than ever.
But it never stopped us from fighting for each other.
Ooh dear brother.
Now, we are no longer younger.
We are getting older.
Ooh dear brother,
Slowly departing from eachother..
We'll form a family with another.
Far from eachother.
Ooh dear brother.
I hope you don't forget your sister.
And to your sister,
I hope she doesn't forget her brother.
They shared, together,
The womb of their mother.
Ooh dear brother
This is a message from your sister.
©️ Ellawrites
****Appreciation:**** I want to use this medium to specially thank everyone who engages in my article, either by liking or commenting, shout-out to my sponsors and those who upvote my articles.
All images were gotten from my gallery.
Women's day.
The last article I wrote was actually written on Friday; last week. Me; writing today, makes it 72 or more hours since my last article, as a part-time student; whose classes falls on weekends, you could imagine how busy my weekends would look like. Apart from the busy days since Friday, the inspiration was quite jumbled up, my thoughts just wasn't aligning properly to my words. Well, I'm glad I'm writing today, I've really missed reading people's articles and writing on this platform. I have some stories saved up as draft, was planning to edit and continue the stories today before publishing but then (chuckles), ***it's our day, oh yes. Today: "March 8, 2022, marks the international women's day."*** What else could I write about today if not, praises to my gender, they deserve it all. Infact, anyone that says: **"to be a woman is a piece of cake, needs to think more deeply."**
Women are sweet, they are special, they alone; carry the most responsibility in a home.
**A woman's responsibilities:**
**Women are keepers:** A girl child is responsible for all house chores, she alone; does justice to the dishes, cleans the house, goes to the market to get food, gets back and assists her mum in the kitchen. She does lots more as regards this, if a visitor comes into the house and meets the house messed up, guess who they'll say wasn't properly trained: **"definitely the girl child."**
**Women produce life:** Now, talking about after the girl is all grown up and now married, she alone; who's a woman endures body changes all for the successful birth of her children, women conceive, they carry destinies and generations in their womb, sometimes; it even changes their body form, some women during pregnancy become excessively fat, some; suddenly reduces and gets lean, some; loose their outer beauty and becomes unusually ugly and irritating, while some still maintains their beauty. No matter all these fact, they still conceive and bear children.
**Women go through lots of pains:** As a girl child, I know how painful the first day of menstruating can be, I'll clench my stomach, turning and twisting; praying for that day to end. This is just menstrual cramps ooh, I've heard of girls; who during their menses, are always hospitalized and given drips because of how painful it can be, some loose lots of blood during their menses. They feel pains on every part of their body, their body suddenly changes and they become so irritated easily during their menses. So much more to actually say about this, but I won't divulge any further.
**Oh!, What about labour pains:** Some women are lucky enough not to go through those stress during child birth, but what about the other ones?. Some women have to go through cesarean section just to birth a child, some women are induced. I know of a woman who; during the birth of her child was induced, all because the child wasn't weighing the amount of kilogram he was supposed to weigh before his delivery and even after she was induced, the child didn't come out until after over 24hours of labour pains, and lots of pushes, the baby just wasn't coming out, they had to forcefully bring out the baby, by tearing up parts of her skin and stitching it back afterwards, it was by God's grace and mercy, that they both came out of it alive. What of women who died during labour? or whose children died during labour?. Oh, let's not go there. Women endure alot of pains.
**They are mothers:** After child's birth, they are in charge of training a child, yes, the father also trains, but if a child isn't really brought up well, most people would blame his mother.
**Women are prayer warriors:** The proverbs 31 kind of woman, they pray so well, they pray for their children, their husbands, their loved ones.
**They multitask:** To multitask means to do alot of things at the same time. A woman can do different things at the same time, she'll be cooking, breastfeeding and still trying to put the older one through; in his assignments. Many more, their brains are always engaged in different things.
I could say so much more, but please; they really deserve the accolades, women are gems, they're rubies, they're divine, they're helpmeet, they're goal setters, they're warriors, they're fighters, they're all the best things you could ever think of. Here's a short poem, I wrote for women:
She is virtuous.
Extraordinary in nature,
creative in all measures.
Beauty in all dimensions,
Her womb brings forth glorious generations.
With her knees kissing the ground,
She pleads, decrees, foresees and guarantees her seeds,
to be known for good and godly deeds.
Her hands; scolds and moulds,
It lashes and caresses.
With the care; so rare,
She'll refine you into becoming the better you.
©️ Ellawrites.
To every woman on this planet, I say:
Happy international women's day to you.
Let us appreciate our mothers, sisters, girlfriends, wives, daughters. Let us appreciate all the girl children; for their efforts are priceless.
**Appreciation:** Thanks to all those who read my articles, likes and comments on them. Shout-out to my sponsors (you need to check out their articles, they're top-notch) I feel honored to be sponsored by them and thanks also to those who upvote my articles.
If you have any addition or subtraction to this article, please feel free to pen down your thoughts in the comment section.
All images were gotten from unsplash
*Disclaimer: All the words in this article are all mine, any similarity in my choice of words and others, that you might have come across in time past; are coincidences.*
Love language.
That title was meant to be: "Most girls' love language" but oh well, I just decided to generalize it based on some certain reasons best known to me.
This article came in as an inspiration or need I say; idea through a videoclip someone posted on his WhatsApp status last night, it was quite hilarious though but then, the videoclip triggered something in my memory and that's what led to this particular article I'm writing.
**What was the videoclip all about?**
At the top edge, it was boldly written: **"woman and problem."** A lady was complaining to her husband, comparing the way he treats her to the way their neighbor treats his wife. **"What was the complain literally about?"** The man in quote doesn't carry his wife's bag, but their neighbor always carries his wife's bag for her. This lady was seen in the videoclip, ranting as to why her husband doesn't carry her bag just like the neighbor does to his wife. The husband, after having alot to inhale from her pains; reluctantly took her bag, thinking the trouble would be over, he walked to the front... Then came his wife's ranting once more: ***"so it's the bag that is your problem? You..you took the bag and you left me, what if a truck hits me from behind?"*** Now that was so frustrating, we; the viewers could all see frustration written all over the man's face.
It was a very hilarious clip to see, I must say; I laughed so hard, and that was when the question popped up: ****"what if that was just her love language and he just didn't know it?"****
I'll refer to a quote I basically heard from the mouth of **Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo,** he said:
**Women are emotional beings, while men are logical beings.**
Now one thing some men fail to understand is that for most women, `little things matter.` As little as carrying her bag, as little as opening the car door, as little as a goodnight and goodmorning kiss, as little as that romantic text, as little as holding hands, as little as asking for her opinion before you make a decision, as little as posting a picture of her on your Facebook wall, WhatsApp status, Instagram page... Oh, and I could mention some more... Those little things counts, they matter, they really matter alot to a lady.
Now, in that hilarious videoclip I watched, the woman's hubby just failed to understand those little things that makes her happy, but that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't in love with her, but to him; those little things doesn't matter. And now; that was the area in which he got it all wrong.
A quote on the definition of romance: ***Doing small things in a special way.***
You want to give her money, don't just dump it on her and say: ***"madam, oya oh, take your money."*** There are special ways in which you can actually gift it to her, you could slip it into her purse or bag without her consent, you could send it to her bank account without priory informing her...
Women love romance, it's just for you to figure it all out, and trust me; I'm referring to the real gems, once they feel loved by you, they'll pray so well and so much for you, they wouldn't want anything to go wrong in your career or business. Draw a picture or more from most successful men out there, I'm pretty sure most of them had the backing of their wives, though some made it on their own, not disputing that, but most marriages backed up by God, most likely made it through this process. ***That's the story of a virtuous woman in proverbs 31.***
****"behind every successful man, there's a woman."****
Okay now, my love language and some ladies love languages.
First of, love languages are those things you do to a woman that makes her feel loved, those things a lady or a lad, loves you; doing to them.
****Quality Time:**** Most ladies with me included loves time, quality time, family time. Oh yeah, you have a busy schedule, she might also have a busy schedule but common, it's family we are talking about, you could make out time for the family.
****Receiving Gifts:**** Most ladies love it when you buy them presents, this does not mean you should go out of your budget, but atleast even if it's once in awhile, get them a nice present.
****Vacation:**** Most ladies loves outing, relaxation, picnics, travels. Just to relax their head from all kinds and forms of stress.
****Text messages:**** Now I for one, love text messages, early morning text, late night text and I'm sure most ladies love this too.
****Dates:**** Some ladies love going out with you on dates.
****Taking selfies together:**** Now, I'm one person that can't do without a selfie, I love taking selfies, it's in my blood. Some ladies are like this too, even if you; as a man, don't like taking pictures or selfies, you might as well adapt to please your wife or the lady you're courting.
****Praying:**** (chuckles) Are you surprised? Don't be, praying is also a love language for me, I've always envisaged praying with my partner, and I'm sure some ladies too, find this as a love language.
****Surprises:**** Now I guess, this is literally where being romantic evolves from, most ladies; though not all, loves surprises.
**All what I listed above, save quality time and receiving gifts; are basically under** **Act of Service.**
Oh!, I could go on and on, but the end of the line is: ***find out the love language of whoever you're dating or married to, to avoid quarrels and frustration. Just like the way the man was so frustrated at his wife in the videoclip I saw.***
And yes! Don't forget: Little things matter.
****P.S:**** All the love languages written above are for both genders, it's not limited to females only.
****Appreciation:**** Special thanks to all those who reads, likes and comments on my articles, I'm indeed encouraged with this little show of support. Shout-out to my sponsors and those who upvote my articles.
Any contribution; be it in addition, subtraction, multiplication, division... You feel like sharing, the comment section is opened to welcome you all.
*****Disclaimer:***** *All words minus the quotes; are all mine, any similarity in my use of words with other articles from this platform or other platforms spotted or seen are all coincidences.*
Images were all gotten from `unsplash`
It is toxic.
The day had just begun, Steph shrieked in pains, she tried massaging her swollen cheeks and neck as she grinned in pains.
Who is Steph?
Stephanie; for short, Steph is a girl or need I say; a twenty five years old lady who had already conceived and birthed two beautiful children for her husband, who she had gotten married to; five years back.
She loved him so much, or do I say; she just didn't know how to leave him?. He was by name; "Victor," he grew up by his mother's side, he was from a broken and torn apart home. "Victor,"all through the period when his father was still living in the same house with him and his mom, had always watched his dad inflicting pains on his mum, to get her conforming to do a thing or another. All through Victor's growing years, he felt the only way to get a woman to listen is by inflicting pains and injuries upon them.
Victor was loving, caring and kind; no sentiment on that, but for his anger issues. Before his marriage to Steph, they courted for three years. He would beat her in public, slap her, shout at her, pull her hair, insult her and inflict so much pains on her and he'll come back the next day on his knees, with a flower or present; after he has realised himself, sobbing and pleading for her arms to be spread out for an embrace of forgiveness. Steph was warned by her family, friends and loved ones but she was adamant on her supposed love for Victor, saying he'll definitely change someday, speaking on his behalf and telling anyone who cared to hear; that Victor was from a bruised family so that was where his unexplainable violence triggered from.
**Up until this present day.** Married to her dream man, what else could she ask for?. Being blessed with two loving children: "Liam and Soledad." Liam was three years older than Soledad, while Soledad was just two years old.
***Mommy, what's wrong? Why is your face swollen?, where's my daddy? Why are you crying?*** That was little Liam's voice, he had been watching his mother from the doorpost.
Steph quickly wiped off the drop of tears streaming on her face and beckoned on Liam to come closer, he did and she hugged him tightly. ***"I'm fine dear, dad is fine, he went out for awhile and would be back soon okay"*** she said, cuddling him into her arms. Liam looked up and innocently said ***"I don't want him to come back, he beats you and it's not fair."*** Tear drops formed on his eyelids. Steph was taken aback by what her son said, she thought they had been careful enough, she never remembered her husband beating her in present of her beautiful children. ***"Oh God"*** she sighed, bemused and unsure of what her next step would be like. She didn't want her little Liam to grow up like his father and of course she didn't want out, so her children doesn't have to suffer growing up in a broken home. She was mute, tightening her embrace, she pecked him on his cheeks.
Days turned weeks, weeks turned months, months turned four years, with the same charade of event playing out itself. Not until a fateful day when Steph returned back from work to meet Liam holding a knife, his sister who had been begging and sobbing with swollen cheeks was on the floor, almost lifeless. Steph screamed: ***"Liam!!!, What is this? What are you doing?, Oh my God! No! No!! No!!!"*** She ran to where he was and took the knife from his arms, Liam was so shocked, he bent low and shook his sister ***"Sole! Sole!! Sole!!!" Oh God, what have I done?, Mum please I'm sorry, please forgive me"*** came Liam, crying and pleading. Steph had no time to address that, she had already called for an ambulance and it came, they quickly rushed Soledad to the hospital but unfortunately it was too late, they lost her to fate. All forms or methods of resuscitating her were rendered futile.
Steph rolled on the floor, crying and weeping, wishing she had listened, wishing she never got married to Victor in the first place, wishing she had not stayed in a toxic marriage. Now she's left with a son who can't control his anger and an husband who also suffers from such inability. Victor rushed in immediately; crying and sobbing at the death of his only daughter. Steph couldn't conceive anymore, based on the damage sustained in her womb through one of Victor's usual ranting and lashing.
She wiped off her tears, looked at her husband and son and said: ***"You both need to see a therapist, or I'll take my only son and leave you alone forever.***"
Victor and Liam nodded in the affirmative.
****Appreciation:****
*Special thanks to all those who reads my article, comments on it and likes it. Shout-out to my sponsors and those who upvote my articles.*
Any further suggestions; be it in addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, you have as regards this short fiction, please the comment section is available, I'll love to read your comments on this.
Images were gotten from `unsplash`
Why is Giving; so hard for me?.
Don't quote me wrong, giving is the best thing that could ever happen to a man...
Givers are the real asset, sharing is a necessity, blessing the lives of others is an opening for others to bless you also..
But...
Why does it seem so hard for me?
MFM international Headquarters (youth church) celebrated their 14th year anniversary this past Sunday... As a bonified MFM member, I did attend, it was fun, really interesting and inspiring, 14 questions were asked and there was a cash price for every winner, guess what? I couldn't answer any.
That aside, at the end of the service, we "the congregation" were all given a food pack, containing cooked jollof rice, mineral and a table water. Mheeeeeeen, my day was so made... I couldn't wait to devour my share... I'm a part-time student in Yabatech, so immediately after service, I was to quickly head back to school, I have three jolly friends, that I roll so well with: **Vicky, Joyce and Esther** by names. Heading to school, I couldn't wait to devour my jollofrice with them... But I guess, there was another plan.
On my way to school, a voice asked me a question; **"what if someone asks you for your foodpack?"** I kept mute, the nylon the food was packed in, made it so obvious that I was carrying a foodpack. Of a truth, I wanted to cry, just at the thought that someone would really request for my foodpack.
Aaah, I was almost close to entering the school gate, that was when this man came to meet me, requesting for food...
I nearly cried, I just couldn't let go, I couldn't imagine not eating that rice, drinking that mineral, and munching on that chicken...
I left him ooh, I entered the school, but throughout my walk back to school, my mind would let me have none of it.. it kept disturbing my peace, asking me questions like:
**My mind:** What if you weren't given that food in church today?
**Me:** Hello, but I was given either ways.
**My mind:** Go back and give that man the food.
**Me:** I can't walk back please, I'm already so close to entering the class.
**My mind:** Still go anyways, the lecturer isn't around yet, she's coming by 1pm, before or by that time, you should be back. If you don't see him there, come back.
**Me:** Ooh, arrggh, okay fine. Let me just remove the Chapman and put it in my bag.
**My mind:** No, don't remove it.
**Me:** Aaah, okay, my personal table water is almost exhausted, let me just remove this table water and put it in my bag.
**My mind:** No, give him everything, the exact way you were given.
**Me:** Ooh, arrrrgh, okay, fine...
That was how I went back outside the school premises to look for that man, praying deep down that I wouldn't find him but unfortunately for me, I actually did find him, and more unfortunately, he still came to meet me; asking for food... I just had to mount up courage as I painfully handed him my foodpack...
It was that hard, it was so hard...
Honestly, not just for that day but for all other days..
It's just so hard for me to give out and who knows, maybe that's why I hardly ever find... Maybe that's why I hardly ever receive God's blessing...
I prefer giving out to my friends, people I know, than giving out to complete strangers...
In all we do, let us remember that givers never lack and God blesses the givers than the receivers...
Giving might also be in services and goods, I didn't give that man money but I gave him goods(food). I cannot forget his prayer: ***"God bless you, no weapon fashion against you shall prosper" (chuckles)***
Give your tithes, offerings, service to God..
Give your clothes, those good dresses that you've outgrown or you aren't using anymore.
Give out food and other resources to the needy.
Any chance you have to give, just give out.
Trust me, I'm also advising myself...
Any addition, subtraction, division and multiplication you have; as a contribution, please feel free to drop them in the comment section.
**Appreciation:** Honestly, this is a trying time for me, I'm really grateful to all those who reads my articles, comments on them and likes them. Shout-out to my sponsor and those who upvote my articles.
All images were gotten from `unsplash.`
***Disclaimer:*** *All the words used, minus the quotes are all mine, any similarity you see with my choice of words and others you might have seen before are all coincidences.*
Make that move.
**Do it**:
I remember back then when I never wrote an article for anyone else to read, I just kept writing and leaving it all, to be read by family and close friends, I felt my article would be plagiarized, so oh well, the sure deal was to just keep penning down my emotions, stories, articles... in a book, not for the world to see but for I alone and those around me.. I was waiting for the perfect time to publish the books and start making sales, I could remember my mum vividly telling me not to try posting any of my write-ups on any social media platform, that it was going to be plagiarized. I was always skeptical when it came to posting them all, I felt there would be no proof that I was the one who wrote them, since it was posted only on social media, not until last year when I met someone; a married lady to be precised, with her encouragements and all, I picked up my pen once more and kept on Penning down, but this time it wasn't just for myself and my family, but for everyone who cared to engage; to see. I've not reached the height I'm aspiring for, but I'm glad I've started doing it; I've started making the move.
*There's this quote I saw on a friend's status a day back and it stated: when you're loaded, you'll be needed,* ***but how would people know if you keep it to yourself?"***
Now that was a deep question which made me take a drive back to how it was for me, before I started writing for people (not just family and close friends) to actually see.
I started this last year, writing poems and stories, I've not really made progress though but I can gladly sit back and smile that atleast I took that move.. and atleast now, people know I write...
Truth is of recent, I've started posting short videoclip of me singing and dancing and of a truth, even if I've not being getting the engagements and comments I crave for, I know that atleast few people; after watching, give feedbacks and even if they don't, atleast they saw the videoclip and it therefore makes them aware of the fact that I'm also a singer and a dancer, even though I'm not yet a proficient one.
***I feel fulfilled to an extent because I know; to most big and glamorous endings; there was a small and unworthy start.***
I know all these will be my success story in the future. This reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend of mine, a really good saxophonist...
***What led me into having the conversation with him:***
Truth is, of recent; I haven't been able to help myself against feeling depressed. Recently; I'd just get depressed and left out... I kept asking myself: "is this really worth all the efforts?, why are people just not ready to engage?, why are they not giving feedbacks?..."
That depression would just hit me deep down like the crashing of a speeding wheel. I had felt so depressed that day and as I swiped through people's status, I felt the need to ask him what his beginning was like. He answered and told me all it was; that I needed to know, he said and I quote: "***it wasn't easy, my dad never supported me, I had no money to get a sax then, I was always playing trash back then, with people laughing me and all, but still amidst all these, I never gave up, I pressed on, pushed further, never relented, continued striving, exactly because I knew what I actually wanted... I Sold my phone just to get money to pay for my music classes."*** On and on, he kept narrating... I wish I could say more, I really did learn alot from his story.
**Make that move:**
To achieve your big dreams, don't just sit there doing nothing, waiting for manna to fall from above, don't just sit all day; crying and lamenting on even that change would happen... ***Take that move, make that move.***
**Be determined to succeed**: Honestly; if we take a look at the success story of most rich people we know in the world today, we'd observe that, their main asset was the determination they had towards success. You must thrive. ***The determination you have towards what you love; even when it isn't yielding fruits, is what would determine how your success story would be like.***
**Most people who are rich now, started from small:** Most of the great leaders we see and praise now, started small, be *consistent,* you need to keep up with it... don't just drop it and feel that, it's all over, those people laughing at you now would be your cheer leaders tomorrow when you become that great person, you've been destined to be.
Keep up with it, keep thriving, keep learning new things, keep practicing, keep writing, keep dancing, keep singing, keep up with that talent...
A quote I read; stated: **Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts**.
**Make sacrifices:** Sacrifice your time, sacrifice that money to learn something new, "that saxophonist friend of mine; sacrificed his phone, just to attend music classes and today; even if he isn't yet in the place and position he wants to be in, atleast he's in a better position now, and it's through those sacrifices he made in time past, his saxophone training and his saxophone is what's paying him off now," knowledge they say is power, remember this quote; **"when you're loaded, you'll be needed."**
**Show the world who you are**: Let it keep ringing into their heads that this is what you do, this is what you're thriving to be dexterous at. Remember the story of how I once was, how I never wanted to write for everyone else to see, because I was scared of plagiarism, how I was planning to publish them all as hardcopies. Funny how technology is developing as the days go by. These days; one could even sort for books online. Back to the context, show the world who you are, let them know what you do and what you're good at.
**Avoid procrastination:** There was a seven days writing training I enrolled in, I picked something and held it so dear to my heart, what was this? *"For writers: when that idea pops up, write it down, even if you aren't less busy, just find time from your busy schedule to write it down..."*
This article you all are reading came in; as an idea, I'm presently feeling sleepy while typing, infact the main aim was to just type a little; a little that would make me remember what it was; that I wanted to write about. But I guess my mind had other plans, as it is now, my fingers are still so busy with my phone's keypad... I guess, I'd just finish up and edit it later on, probably add words during the process of editing and that would probably be done after my eyes has had its' full share of rest. But atleast I've typed down all my ideas and formed it into the article you're reading.
Not just for writing, but for any other skill or vocation, avoid procrastination... A quote says: *****"don't leave for tomorrow what could be done today."*****
****This is a quick addition:**** *I don't know if it's just me, but trust me; I've been in the brick of loosing myself and then amidst such depressive state, someone would just comment on my article, saying encouraging words to me. This feedback has magically kept me standing, number of times; I can't even recall.*
This and many more are what's necessary to be successful in your skill or vocation, just make that move.
Any further suggestions, additions, subtractions to this or for this, please feel free to share in the comment section.
I don't feel fulfilled yet but I'm happy I've made some moves, far better than when I wrote only for myself, family and close friends.
Make that move.
**Appreciation:** Special thanks to everyone who reads my article, likes it and comments on it. A big shoutout to my sponsor; as well and those who upvote my articles. Thanks for all you do.
All images were gotten from `unsplash`
Remember to: **Make that move.**
What should I go for?.
All through Sarah's growing years, she had no idea as to what she actually wanted to study or do with her life. She sat for (WASSCE) West African Secondary School Certificate Examination, made all her papers save literature and sat for (JAMB) Joint admission and matriculation board examination, she did her four supposedly core subjects; government, economics, English and CRS) Christan religious studies...
During her registration for JAMB, she still had no idea whatsoever on what she actually wanted to study, her mum had followed her to the JAMB registration center to assist her in filling her form and other details. So guess what Sarah was planning to study, okay; yeah, Public administration" a course, she knew nothing about, no research, no nothing. For her registration back then, she had to fill in her institution choices and she did; picking UNILAG (University of Lagos State) as her first choice, followed by (LASU) Lagos State University as her second choice. (YABATECH) Yaba college of technology was her third choice and she picked one other as her last choice (the final choice wasn't mentioned as a result of its irrelevancy).
Sarah passed her JAMB after scoring 232 in total. Just as said earlier, she chose UNILAG as her first choice of institution... During the period when Post UTME were being written, there was a bit of financial crisis she faced, so her mum couldn't purchase the post utme form for the other institutions, thereby having to put all hopes in one basket (UNILAG). She was able to purchase the form for her first choice of institution only and went to seat for the exams, Sarah wasn't someone who was actually good at maths, and for UNILAG post utme, maths was a compulsory one, together with general knowledge... Their post utme wasn't like jamb, where you'll have to choose the subjects you wish to read and write for. She successfully sat for the exams and passed but for some little points that hindered her beating off the cutoff mark. To cut the long story short, Sarah wasn't given the admission to the prestigious University. There was nothing left for her to do, especially since she didn't seat for any other University examinations, she resolved in her mind that, she'd let it sly and forget about school but Sarah's mum had different plans, and yeah; she worked her way through in getting Sarah admitted to Yabatech as a part-time student...this was quite easy especially since part-time didn't require JAMB or postutme, it required only the O level result or WASSC to be precised.
Sarah got into the school without knowing what she was studying... The first day she entered the school premises, she kept asking her mum; "what am I studying?" Her mum gave no response to her inquisitiveness and just told her to enter the class... Sarah was bemused and just wanted to know what she was studying... no plans, no goals, no visions, no nothing... She was just there following the lead of her mother...
It was later known to Sarah through her elder brother that she was actually studying "Office technology management." At that point, she never even knew what it entailed or what it was all about... After all, it's just to be in school and graduate right?? Oh, well I guess that was all it was about...
**Highlights**:
Sarah had no plans, no visions, no purpose for her future, she was just there following the lead of her mother, believing her mother to be able to decide for her...
She never knew what she wanted to study even when she was filling the form for her jamb examination
Because her mother never saw her as someone who could make the right choices, her mother felt she was in the best position to choose and decide what Sarah would study.
Even up to the moment she entered the school, Sarah never knew what she was planning to study, no research on what it's all about, no nothing...
Sarah had no say in this, because she didn't even know what she wanted for herself.
**Advice**:
School isn't just about the graduation amongst all others, except you've got other plans: like probably you have a trade in mind, for some people school isn't their thing, they are just going there to get the degree or the certificate but then for people who are actually planning to do alot through their certificate and degree... Make research, find out your purpose, learn to know if that's what you love doing most...
Most of the reasons why people get carryovers and don't do well academically is sometimes because of the fact that most of them are not enjoying their course of study...
**Back** **to** **the** **story**:
And yes, Sarah is doing well now, quite alright, her best course subject is "shorthand" she enjoys drilling in shorthand but still that isn't really it for her, Sarah has finally realized after four years; what she actually wants to study... And she has written WASSCE once more, this time; making all her papers... Sarah wants to study "English and literary studies" but guess what: her mum still wants Sarah to study "law"
And this leads me to the end of this **Non-fictional** story. Thanks for reading so far...
*I* *would* *love* *to* *know* *what* *advice* *it* *is*, *you* *have* *for* *Sarah* *in* *the* *comment* *section*.
All images were gotten from `unsplash`.
Best; worst day.
"*See who is becoming the Mrs tomorrow, soon to be "Mrs Williams," babe you're lucky ooh, atleast not like us that hasn't even seen the ring, not to talk of marriage."* Betty teased.
*"Betty, common, you and I know that, Micheal is planning to propose after my wedding with Henry"* Diara giggled...
**Past**
A fast track to what this whole episode is all about, today or rather I say tonight was meant to be the last night Diara would be tagged ***Miss,*** the next day was her wedding day, the best day of her life, she was getting married to the one she loved so much... The man of her dreams I would say. The dialogue above was between her very best friend (Betty) and herself. They weren't just two in the room, two more ladies were present but busy with something else and yes, the girls were all gathered to celebrate with Diara on her bridal shower...
They popped champagnes, ate lots of cakes coupled with some other miscellaneous, their night was soon to be made... Diara just couldn't wait for the next day to finally come... A quick drive down memory lane; Diara and Henry Williams had been dating since their undergraduate years, imagine how long that has been. People in their University back then, called them "Mr and Mrs" they had both won the best couple in their University years, an indeed blissful memory to reminisce on. They were both lucky enough to be transferred to the same States but different areas for their national youth service program. They would call eachother, video call eachother for hours, laughing and chuckling. They had no issues as regards their parents and relatives, it seemed luck was just threading smoothly on their paths, both parties supported them, and both parties were so elated in anticipation of the **D day.**
A little curvy smile formed on Diara's cheeks as she remembered all they've been through... The good days, better days, best days not forgetting. The bad days, worse days and worst days. Her relationship with Henry was the most talked about and the most admired, her friends constantly used her relationship as a checkmate for theirs.
**Back to the present**
*"Diara, Diara... He...lll..oo..."* That was the third girl, Grace's voice
*"Oh!"* Diara exclaimed out of her thoughts, suddenly getting back into the present world.
*"Hmm, see what love has caused, your mind has travelled into the mind of Mr Williams" you are here but you're not here"* Grace teased.
*"Abeg, leave her ooh, if you think say e dey easy to get married, oya try am nau, after all these years, babe I'm happy for you ooh"* said the fourth girl... Clara.
*We are happy for you...* Grace corrected, giving Clara a weird look.
The celebration continued, they all poured wine into the tumblers, clanked it together and cheered into the favorable atmosphere. After awhile, Diara's phone rang, she was so excited when she saw who the caller was, she enthusiastically picked up her phone and spoke to Henry for an hour. She wouldn't have hung up if her friends didn't signal a reminder of their presence... The celebration continued.
**The next day; the D day**
Diara woke up to a smile on her cheeks, she had been in the wedding even in her dreams. Okay; everything pushed through, she had her bath, dressed, did her makeup. The event planner had organized a well known and trained photographer and videographer to actually capture all these moments, they captured it to the very last moment of the event.
Fast track to the wedding; Henry was standing in all smiles, awaiting his bride and soon to be wife as she walked down the aisle with smiles radiating from her inside; reflecting out.
*"Would you take Miss Diara Houglas to be your lovely wedded wife? To love, to hold, to cherish for better for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"* The priest asked.
Henry just looked at his wife with so much smiles radiating on his face and said; *"For so long, have I waited for this day, what more have I to say, yes, yes and yes is what I'll say over and all over again."* He looked at Diara and silently whispered into her ears: *"till death do us part, babe, it's you and I forever."*
Diara jerked up from her sleep, her eyes were all swollen and moist with tears.
The end.
I hope you all enjoyed reading this short fiction...
All images plus lead image were gotten from @unsplash
Don't tell Mama.
*Special* thanks to those who took out *time to read my previous post, those who commented, liked and upvoted my previous post*...
**Don't tell Mama** is a short story about a little girl; named "Elsa" happy, jovial and sweet, she knew nothing like pains and sadness until that fateful day. Grab a plate of popcorn, munch on it as you read through...
**In the beginning**
Elsa was a girl, a gorgeous, respectful and sweet little girl of six, she lived in a room with her mother, her sick mother. Elsa's father had died during her fourth birthday celebration, ever since then, they had no funds to celebrate another. It was a tragic experience to remember, Elsa's father wasn't really a wealthy man but without any doubt he was an hardworking man, who through his struggles had built his family, a house, unfortunately that same house was taken away from his wife and daughter by his immediate family after his demise.
Ever since the demise of her father, Elsa's mother had been struck with an illness, one I'll call the "loneliness of a widow" this ailment triggered the level of her blood pressure from normal to abnormal, the doctor had warned, that any unfavorable news shouldn't be spoken to her or spoken in her presence, else she might have an heart attack which might likely send her to eternal rest, this instruction was known by all of Elsa's neighbors.
Elsa's mother was battling with grieving depression, she felt lifeless yet alive, she always sent Elsa out to play with the neighbor's children whenever she feels she's tearing apart, it was just a room so there was no place or corner she could roll, cry and bleed, without the watch of her little and only child, her only option was to send Elsa out to the neighbor's, while she locked herself in, to burn her heart out. Elsa would go over to the neighbor's houses to play, she played different kinds of games but her favourite was "hide and seek." They all liked her and became very fond of her.
On a fateful day, Elsa had just been sent out to play with the neighbor's children by her mother. Elsa was already used to the system and left happily after planting a kiss on her mother's cheek. She immediately went over to call her friend out, her name was Bella, just the same age range with Elsa.
When Elsa got to her friend's room, she met the door opened, even at that she still knocked and called out her name but response came from no where, still unsure of this decision, she slowly walked in, calling out the name of her friend, she sighed when she finally realized no one was in, and immediately turned her back to leave. When she turned, she noticed Bella's father by the door staring mischievously at her, she whimpered back in fright, the shock from his sight, standing all along, staring at her, overwhelmed her, she gained her composure seconds later and spoke: ***"Goodafternoon Sir, please Sir I'm looking for Bella."*** He only replied with a mischievous smile and slowly locked the door.
Elsa stood bemused, unsure of what was about to happen, she spoke slowly yet fidgetily: ***"sir?."*** Bella's dad walked up to Elsa in a slow but hasty manner and swiftly clasped her mouth into the palm of his hand, it was then, Elsa knew this was danger, she tried to scream but her voice wasn't audible enough, she just wanted to go back to her mama, tears rolled down her eyes. He whispered into her ears; ***"I've always wanted this, you're so beautiful, just like your mother, a shame I can't have her" he said bitterly and smiled; "I guess I'd have you instead, in replacement of her."***
He forcefully laid her on the bed and told her with rage in his eyes; ***"if you dare scream, I'll stab you with a knife and*** ***your mother would be left without an husband and a child"*** he slowly bent and pecked her cheek ***"do you want that for Mama?"*** She fearfully shook her head in response. ***"That's my girl, now be good enough to cooperate with me, this shouldn't take long."*** He said, slowly removing his hand from her mouth, he hastily put out his trouser and boxers while silently watching her on the bed. Elsa almost screamed at the sight of his private part but immediately bit her lower lips to shun the words about to spill out. He raised her gown up, ripped her pants apart and hastily inserted his private part into hers, she shrieked in pains, still biting her lower lips, tears rolled down her eyes as he had his way with her. Blood oozed from her private part, her eyes were swollen and shimmery with tears, he sighed in satisfaction and laid his back on the bed.
***Sir, why?***. She managed to mutter. He looked at her mischievously, stood up to dress up and said. "*I've always wanted to do this, been waiting for so long for this day to come, tell no one, especially not your mama, you'll kill her with this news* if you do. ***Don't tell Mama"*** he warned and gave her a baby doll.
She nodded with tears knowing fully well that he was right.
Images from: unsplash
Say no to comparison.
Just like I said in my previous post; my name is Tayire Dorcas and I'm actually a twin(that wasn't included in the first post though), but yeah; I'm a twin, my twin is a boy and he actually came out five hours before I did. He's brainy I must say, he's good at:
**Keeping things for a long period of time.**
**Solving and teaching maths coupled with other science subjects and so much more I'll skip to mention.**
He is good at all these, but I guess I'm just the complete ***opposite.*** Two flashbacks from the many times of comparison and I'll put my fingers down for a nap.
****Report cards****:
This was never really an easy one for me, during the end of every term, my classmates and I usually glance through our total percentage before heading back home, what they see in their report cards determines their happiness or sadness, it determines if they'll hurry home or if they'll want to stay back in school for awhile, to atleast prepare themselves for the lashes they'll receive. My brother was always the happy one, eager to go home, I was just a different version, his percentage was always superceding mine though I wasn't doing that bad, but my father, to be precised felt comparing my performance to that of my brother's was the best way to get me doing my best, although on some rare occasions, he showed appreciation towards my performance.
****Economics class.****
This day was literally one of the worst days of my life. Economics class, being a general class comprising of Science, Commercial and Art students was represented by a teacher, let's call him Mr S. On this exact day Mr S was teaching on a topic I can't remember right now but what I vividly remember is that on that particular day I wasn't focused, my mind was divided, a question was thrown at me by him, but my tongue was stuck in my mouth, this made him start off with what looked like an advice and also a ridicule.
***"See yourself, I wonder where you were when your mother was breastfeeding your brother, you are like a conductor in a bus, beckoning on passengers but you don't even know the direction to where you are going or your destination, your own is to just call people to sit inside the bus, can't you see your brother?, We know you're fine, but are you intelligent?"***
These statements of his, made my classmates jeer up into laughter, my eyes were already moist but its' moisture actually made him multiply my woes, this act of his made the tears deepen. Oh!, How I wish I could perfectly remember all what he said. I felt worthless, I felt I wasn't good enough, I felt so bad, I cried for some weeks whenever I remembered.
It wasn't as easy as I penned it down, it was a disastrous moment for me. Just decided to pen down two out of the many times I was compared, not just to my twin but also to other people's children.
They might have had good intentions though but I doubt they achieved up to 30% of their desires.
Up until now, I still sometimes feel less of myself, I've lost my voice, when you talk about self-esteem, when you talk about confidence, I doubt you could ever refer me as one with such traits, even when people are awed and applaud me for some things I do, I still wonder sometimes if what I did actually deserves the accolades, infact most times I hardly ever believe the good comments they make.
I know I'm gradually getting over this, but the scars are deep, it might take time to heal. I'm now reading books on self-esteem, listening to some messages on believing in yourself. Also, with the help of some mentors, I'm gradually getting back to the place of confidence.
Please everyone: ***"Comparison is not the right way to make one do better." It is one, amongst the thousand causes of low self-esteem.***
**Even the Bible says:**
***"For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise (2nd Corinthians 12:2)."***
Myself
I am intrigued to actually be on this platform; it was actually introduced to me by a friend. Okay; my name is Tayire Dorcas, I'm a writer, a singer, a dancer and also a lover of God.
I'm a lover of shorthand writing, I mean; it's literally the best course-subject for me, I'm still a student, oh well, let me stop here for now. I'm glad to actually be here.
@Ellawrites
