@Doctor5588 19 September 2021 more from that month

Woh Muhabat Nahi Thi To Phir Aur Kia Tha ! نہیں ہے رابطہ لیکن میں صدقہ دیتا رہتا ہوں وہ اکثر ان مہینوں میں بہت بیمار رہتی ہے Actually I am Not well from last two days because Whenever Its Friday , I become Sad . I don't know from which month I started this work but at every Friday I used to give something to Allah for some people . I give Sadqa for eesaal e sawab of some close people of mine who are not between us , My Mamu , My Dadu , My Naani (I have never seen her) , My brother , My Khala and including people I don't remember right now . But in all these , While giving Sadqa I never forget HER FATHER and Also She. When I heard about her that She is not well , from that Time I used to give sadqa for her because My mom once said that Sadqa Har Mushkil ko Taal Deta Hay . مجھے منزلوں کی خبر تو دی پر راستوں کو الجھا دیا اے زندگی تجھے کیا پتہ ، یہاں کس نے کس کو گنوا دیا I was always told that I was not sincere to her and I was Lusterd . I always meant my limit and never crossed that. I don't want to discuss her because I want to forget her but At every Friday I don't feel well. Last night at 3 A.M. I and my friend went for Chaanp in Cantt and while discussing exams he asked me that Why my vivas was not performed well while my written were best. Then I replied that I was recently broke up with her and I was totally mentally disturbed that's why I didn't performed well. He said , Tujh jaisa gadha nh dekha mn n jo aik Larki ko serious lay raha h. Chali gai ha to bus janay day bat khatam . Career bana , doctor hay too , larkian bhut aingi . You will not believe I was even weeping at Physio's ospe and two girls who were on my left and right clearly noticed me . And Believe me , both were close to me when I was performing Practical in Biochemistry . Like , "ap n perform kar lia ? Kia result aya apka practical ka ?" . I didn't know them because That was not my class. But both gave me importance and I was thankful to them. اک کرب مسلسل کی سزا دیں تو کسے دیں مقتل میں ہیں ، جینے کی دعا دیں تو کسے دیں پتھر ہیں سبھی لوگ کریں بات تو کس سے اس شہر خموشاں میں صدا دیں تو کسے دیں I never told her that I used to give sadqa for her father and her health because that was my proof that I was sincere to her but I never wanted to be appreciated for this work at least. After so many days , I was sad because Of her due to Giving that sadqa and I don't even know , if she is gone now then why I am giving sadqa till now . Sometimes I want to stop it because till two days of this , I didn't become normal but then I think that This is debt to me and I have to give my whole life . The purpose of writing all this is that i want to ask one question and that is وہ محبت نہیں تھی تو پھر اور کیا تھا !!!!۔ #RandomThoughts