Picking some old pieces of oneself
We try to go back and mend those that were broken. We try to go back and retrieve what's taken away. We try to redeem ourselves most of the time. Upon fixing things up, we hope that everything will work again like before. We hold our hopes up and hope even more that things will be restored. Or at least be made well again.
I am trying to restore what's abandoned. Not really abandoned. I just had other concerns. This then will serve again as my opening article. Hoping I will have that heart again to write here. Please welcome me back!
I've been out here for a month now. When I logged in, I used a new wallet. It's all in the hope of starting afresh. If it won't work right now, I guess we have what we call patience. We have to really learn to have patience no matter how hard. I made sure to back my phrase. Who knows what the future brings? Right? It's always good to be prudent.
Anyway, I see some users who have never returned as well. This is where my heart breaks for a platform where anonymity is allowed. I've sure enjoyed this feature but it somehow left a toll on me. But there is no use romanticizing things now. We are here to write after all and we have to do what we intended to do. We sometimes have to focus on ourselves. Let others do their business as well.
Sometimes, it's good to reflect and go back to the things we've done. We will be able to pick old pieces of ourselves. We always wanted to be patched up and be renewed. It helps sometimes to go back to the past and review what we've always wanted. Then we can reevaluate and proceed depending on our assessment of circumstances. I really hope I have the correct assessment this time.
Yours truly is currently searching for her true truth. Whatever that means. Anyway, we all do things at some point in our lives. And those will be very crucial for our development. It's better to have failed in doing than to have never done anything at all. We have heard this numerous times. But it is true that we have to always assert ourselves and do things. Sometimes, action speaks louder than sound.
As of writing time, it is 11:50 pm on a Saturday. Tomorrow will be a Sunday. I have put off doing the laundry when it should have been done this morning. I just have had some difficulties but I have forgiven myself already for not sticking to my plan for the day. Yes, tomorrow is Sunday but despite knowing that, I still scheduled it to be my laundry day. I will make it fast, with the help of the washing machine. Afterward, I will do my devotion. This I guess is the most important. We always need to realign ourselves with the right mindset and attitude. Otherwise, we find ourselves in unfavorable situations.
To make up for my not doing the laundry this morning, I cleaned the room that has become a stock room. I was happy to pick up a book which has been thrown there by someone. I hope to read it another time. I remember that book which I told myself to read someday but then until now I have not read. It will be a special day the moment I will go back to that book. Reminiscing the past could awaken us to the things we've forgotten. Yes, we pick diamonds and gems which we've had in the past. We always hope to brighten up our lives.
I will try to publish once to thrice a week. If you are still my subscriber, please welcome me back. Thank you! I will be writing mostly blogs. It's hard to promise a niche. Whatever is there will be the one to be published. What have I eaten for breakfast? What did I do during father's day? What are my plans for the near hour? Something like that. Those who are full with their things will remark how trivial other posts are. But I have to defend, we all are learning and interested in each other's lives. Someday you'll come to write about your personal matters as well. Just you see. There are 365 days in a year. Just saying! Hihi.
Let me try opening my sponsorship this time. Thanks to my future sponsors for your trust! :-)
Leaving for good
No more going back and forth. I'm tired dwelling on my weaknesses. I'm getting fed off by my own pessimism. The cynical me is getting the best out of me. The lazy part of me is dragging me down lower and lower. I'm leaving old habits and practicing new ones.
**From fudgeling to getting things done.** One by one. Patiently, lovingly, I'll sit and do what needs to be done and not just pretend to be doing something.
**From saying to doing.** Instead of saying, I will do the laundry tomorrow, I will instead just do it tomorrow. (Ironically, I'm saying things here and instead of just doing them.)
**From 'planning' to PLANNING.** I create my plan, and execute it. I told myself to research on Zero Knowledge Proof. Instead of simply dreaming, I will do the things I have in my plan.
**From comparing myself to other read.cash users to simply being me.** I should respect the fact that I am also trying my best to write despite being a mother, teacher and student. And yes, housewife. Because I work from home.
**From running away because of downvotes to being fearless and continuing to do what I ought to do.** Geez... I still don't like the downvote button but I guess I may just be overreacting here.
**From 'writing for hobby' to 'writing for giving value.'** I have to and I should research and be creative in integrating my expertise into my writing.
**From offering whatever's left on my pocket to preparing tithes and offerings first thing after receiving salary.** Yes, we all must be faithful in our investment into His Kingdom.
**From not practicing good hygiene to making it an essential part of my routine.** Good hygiene will at least save us from unwanted trips to clinics.
**From postponing tasks to sticking to my schedule of house chores.** Just do it! Says nike. Haha!
**From irregularly attending to my children's concerns to making it my priority to take care of them.** I'm quite guilty for setting them aside sometimes like they were robots. My dear children, I love you.
**From being impulsive buyer to sticking to the budget.** One peso, two peso, I will save what I can. And sticking to the budget is as good as saving some coins out of the wallet.
**From complaining to my husband's demands to talking things over with him.** Challenging but rewarding in the end. To use logic with others instead of leaning over to fallacies. Like, "I won't ever massage you if you won't come home now!!!" What an example!
And yes, no more going back and forth. I have decided and I'm leaving old habits for good.
There's No Such Thing as Motivation: Voice of another resonates with me
I still hear the voice I heard before when I was just starting into the blogosphere. That there's no such thing as motivation. Or to be more exact, 'motivation doesn't exist.'
It's not that motivation doesn't really exist but sometimes we simply move our body mindlessly just to get things done for the day. Motivated or not, we have our obligations and responsibilities to fulfill.
Say for today, I simply get my hands typing, typing, typing, and the words come out like it should. I've been on a hiatus for the past days when in fact, I wanted to produce more than once a day.
The reason? I thought very much of a nice title, of a catchy first phrase. Of something I know I will never attain. Just because what I give is what I give. I can't try hard enough. All I can give is what I can give.
And so finally, **here comes another one**.
Sometime ago, I signed up on this platform after being invited by a dear friend and I promised I would continue the journey that has been halted. But alas! after being disheartened by so many things, I stopped. And just like that, I stopped.
To survive in this endeavor, one must really stick to principles, self-declared or adopted. And this time, I really have to be reminded of the many inspirations I had back then.
And I'm kind of rebelling because it is not my job here to decode some form of algorithm just to be noticed by someone. I simply write obviously for my sake. For those who find value, then that's already a big thing. If not, so what? We all have different interests. And for those who try their best, salute to you! In the end, we all reap what we sow. As for me, it's just beyond me to think so much. Ah, 'nough said. Whatever.
So what now?
Command your body to move and get one thing done, then another, then another. Just like how you want a stick of barbecue, then you go on eating until you count more than 10 sticks on your side. Or just one more episode of what you're watching, then you go on to finish the whole series. Just pick the tissue littered around, then put the knife out of reach of a child. Or open the laptop then read a message. Then you're moving about until you have at least accomplished something.
This is at least for the likes of me who always drag her butt everyday of her life.
And this post is no exception.
Concluding Thoughts
Motivation does exist. That is, if we know how to take advantage of it. The mere fact of writing this one is a motivation in itself. We just craft it in a way that we go beyond what we've been dreading for. Or what has been halting us. And so we say the opposite just to get us pumped out.
One more analogy is that if you hate your surroundings so much that you'd want to go away then try writing all about your hate for your place. Write down every thing that makes you resentful of your current space. Don't stop until you've emptied it out. Then you'll discover how dear the place is to you.
Don't believe me? Then try. Just try.
**Reference:**
Mihai, C. (2021). Motivation Doesn’t Exist. Retrieved 29 March 2021, from https://cristianmihai.net/2020/05/05/motivation-doesnt-exist/
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