That hunt for happiness!!
A fully grown adult, who has by now achieved a fully developed human brain, struggles to find true happiness, while a toddler, who has just begun development in the brain, finds happiness so easily. The adult looks at the kid and wonders the reason why he can't find happiness at such an ease. Things like just laughing in front of him, or making weird faces in front of him is enough to bring a huge laughter to that kiddo. The children seem so lost in their own world, finding happiness in every small bit of a thing. Jumping around happily whole day long, as carefree as ever. Yeah, "Carefree", this is the difference between that adult, who is presumed to be one of the smartest living being and that infant, who is yet to explore the world, still away from the desires of worldly pleasures and the fears they bring along. These thoughts and more like these keep tossing Ryan's mind while he is observing naughty, yet so adorable little Shiney playing around.
Ryan, a boy in his early twenties, has just come to his hometown, amidst the spread of deadly Coronavirus. The pandemic has led to the shutdown of all the institutions, which lead Ryan and many like him to route back to their hometowns. Away from the hustle and bustle of the cities, his place lies in a peaceful atmosphere, surrounded by mountains. The atmosphere, many in the cities long to get. Sunrises and sunsets have a different magic here! And the star gazing isn't interrupted by polluted air........
Baby Shiney, a 22 months baby girl, is enjoying not-so-hot summers at her granny's place in Ryan's neighbourhood. Ryan had befriended Shiney in his last vacations but kids do forget things, don't they? Ryan went to Shiney's place (Yeah, he is fond of kids) (No,he isn't a pedophile!), the same evening he reached his place. He was excited to see how much the little one has grown, and was waiting to get both amused and bemused by every new thing she had learnt ever since he last met her. Babies have their own kind of an awe. They just make u lost in their cute innocence. They just make you do funniest and craziest of things so easily and the fun fact is they won't even ask you to do that, you'll just do 'em out of love and affection.
Baby Shiney was playing with her siblings, when she noticed a strange person in the house. As the person approached, she fixed her gaze at him, while he exchanged greetings with the elders in the family. And then was it, the moment of eye contact. Two seconds pause, and a sudden adrenaline gush. She jumped in ecstacy. Giving a huge smile, mouth wide open(that's how she smiles), she isn't sure what to do. She takes few rounds and reaches to Ryan by now, extends her arms out, telling him to pick her up. Ryan picks her and feels immense joy. That feeling of having her in his arms, is the one he has longed for so long. And what brings in more joy is the fact that she still remembers him. She still has that feeling of attachment with him (Yeah, some of 'em have a sharp memory. Atleast Shiney has it ;P). She is expressing her affection hugging him tightly. Jumping in his lap and laughing, laughing so passionately, like there is noone happier than her in the whole universe. And yeah, they say that right, a smile is infectious, Ryan's teeth were already peeping through his dried up lips, dried by the cold weather of the hills.
Here you can have a glimpse of 12 months old Shiney.
Baby Shiney was now running here and there in the house. Playing around and at regular intervals coming to Ryan, looking at him notoriously and then running away. Watching her play around, Ryan is lost in various thoughts. Thoughts on how happy she seems-so happy that, joy is seen coming out through all her actions. Her happiness is so intense that it is able to reach him. And the intensity of joy can be conveyed so easily, even when she hasn't developed that art to talk yet. This thought amazes him, though he can speak and they both are equally distant in communication skills, still he finds it difficult to convey his affection, while she does it effortlessly. All of her happiness is concentrated at that moment. She isn't lost in infinite thoughts unlike him, this is what makes him different. He instead of living in the moment is carried away with various thoughts. These are the thoughts that are preventing him from living in the moment. Preventing him from showing that utmost joy that he felt the moment he saw her. This is where that fully developed human brain loses to the under developed one.
Here comes the goodbye time, and Shiney is well aware of the word. No sooner she heard the words being uttered by Ryan, than she rushed to him and again wide spread arms to pick her up and take on a walk. Not even her dearest mother can now convince her to let him leave alone. You try being harsh, and she would cry, and trust me on this, this too would be with all her strength. So, not only joy, but sorrow as well. Whatever kids do, it's in the purest form.So, "being happy when u feel the joy, without letting ur mind being scattered here and there and letting go bad memories when you get what is good" is what conclusion Ryan drew. Now he had her in his arms again. She was again so happy, already got past the tears she had just a moment ago. Again jumping in his arms. Laughing and giggling and yeah pulling his specs (This one's her favorite).............
The path from 22 months to 22 yrs was the thing! We grow up and in the process learn a lot of things. All of this is amazing and important as well. But we forget to express those purest form of emotions which still exist somewhere within us but we are ignorant of their importance. And once we realize their importance, we find them unachievable. This struggle is the thing which keeps us away from that inner peace, that immense joy, which we strive to achieve. So, start living in the moment. Get past all the bad experiences and yeah being happy effortlessly! And you'll surely meet that kid in you. The kid who would let you experience unconditional joy. Well, age is just a number!
Thank you for reading!:)
That twisty turvy journey....
"Good Bye!"...."Bbye, meet you after the winter break".... These kind of adieus echoed the whole campus, as the schools were closed for the winter break. Mixed feelings of joy as well as sorrow filled hearts of every child. Sadness of parting away from friends and joy to have a whole winter to enjoy with family. Jumping, giggling and shouting "Vacations....Vacations.....", 6 year old me entered my house. Throwing the school bag on the sofa, ran straight away to the kitchen- for there would I find my mother preparing the yummiest delicacies.
"Mommy, where are we going to spend vacations this time?", asked I, curiously. "This time we are going to a place called 'Ahichhatra parasnath'(To my readers, this is a pilgrimage site situated in Uttarpradesh, India)", replied my mum. Knowing nothing of the place, I was jumping in excitement. First question just answered and I already raised another one, "When are we leaving?". And the answer made my excitement doubled up already-"Day after tomorrow ", she said.
That night I was imagining various things- how it would be there. What fun we all would have. How amazing it would be to go to new place and lots more. My brother and I kept some of our toys too to play on the way to Ahichhatra. The journey was a long one, provided we were to go to Delhi first , from where we had reservations in a connecting train to moradabad, and from there another train was to take us to Ramnagar(the place where Ahichhatra was located).
"Wake up! Divya.... Don't you wanna go for vacation?", hearing these words said by my father, I quickly woke up. Finally, it was the day. We were to leave for Delhi. I quickly got ready. We left for Delhi via a bus. We reached there by evening. That night we stayed at our relatives' place. Next morning, we reached the railway station on time.
This was the very first time that I was old enough to observe things while travelling by train. I was really very excited to travel in a train. Those whistles of trains leaving and arriving station were already stealing my attention. Everything was making me more and more excited. Finally, we boarded the train to Moradabad. It was so thrilling, when the train whistled and with a shook, it started moving.. I loved climbing to that upper berth. Having food sitting there with family, felt like a different kind of a picnic. At times, I would move to the window seat, to have a look at the scenery. So basically, I was completely enjoying the journey.
It was around fifteen years back, internet wasn't a common thing back then. We got to know from a Ticket Collector, that the train was running late due to fog. How could it matter to me, I was just a kid. Finally, we reached the Moradabad station. We got to know about the platform of our next train. We were on the overhead bridge, when we saw the train which we had to board, leaving. That moment, I felt so heavy in my heart. Though, I was a kid back then, yet it felt like something really bad had happened. My parents calmed me down and assured that everything was fine.
On inquiring, we got to know that there wasn't any train to Ramnagar until the next evening. That place was quite unknown and booking hotels and stuff wasn't that easy, atleast at our place. We were a bit upset sitting there in the waiting area, when a humble old man saw us disturbed and called me. I told my father about it. So, we both went upstairs to him. He asked about our problem and told that he was some person in-charge there and told us how we could get accomodation for the night there itself. He also told that there is an early morning train which we could board to reach our destination.
Next Morning, we boarded the train and finally reached Ramnagar. Ater unboarding, we asked the cab drivers to drive us to Ahichhatra. We were thinking by now that everything had fallen in place, until the cab driver said, "There isn't any such place over here". To our astonishment, everyone denied about the existence of that place. That excitement was now turning into some other feeling. Those tensed expressions on parents' faces were enough to make us worry. Thankfully, we met some people, who told us that, there were two places named the same and we had reached the wrong one. In all, that whole journey from Moradabad had been in vain. Our destination was in opposite direction.
What happened next was that after all these twists and turns, we finally headed correctly to our destination. And yeah, of course the journey became a really memorable one. At that time, it felt crazy, but thinking of it now just makes me feel, hadn't it been full of twists, I had not been writing it down here.
Emotions not at par!
Hey there buddies! This a budding writer with her first article ever. So, I think everybody is quite familiar with Emotions.... Here I m gonna portrait some aspect of emotions which isn't reached out by many!
Saw a person weeping and the first instinct? Yeah! asking him the reason of the melancholy. But in the hearts of how many, does the reason of melancholy really reach? *“You saw me weeping and now ask me why?* And I tell you - *the reason right!”* Then why that battle of questions in your mind? – Isn’t the reason too silly for an outbreak? – Isn’t the person overreacting?
Is that comparison really necessary ? - **Had I been there, I would have handled it better.** The concern my friend here, is not what would have happened if….; The concern is what that person is exactly feeling. That avalanche of emotions that person is going through! That dagger like feeling, piercing his heart. Telling someone that he is self-victimizing is easy, but do the tears really represent self-victimization? Aren’t anger and tears at par? ***Some people scream in rage, some go mute, then why those welled up eyes only tell my fear***, my sorrow or weakness.
***“Why gave him loud voice, and me tears? Angry be him, so am I! He does scream, in that pitch too high! And here do I sit, with welled up eyes! And everyone is convinced, somewhere so am I…. Powerful is he, weak am I! If scream is fierce, and tears are frail! Why he be the fierce and I the frail? If both are equal? Why he bestowed with power and me with cry? Here comes now a conclusion drawn! Inequality,what everyone calls, is not man drawn!”***
This trap of portrayal of emotions is grave! Even the most learned do get caught! Very Few really understand other’s rage! Sometimes, that outbreak is not for a single reason, it can be the things, getting piled up in the subconscious mind since long.
So, if you are the one whose rage gets transformed to tears, I just wanna say- don't let those tears define your strength! You too are strong with those tears on!
I would love to know your thoughts on this. Drop down your thoughts and suggestions in the comment section!
*Thank you :)*
@DeeJ