Afraid of Falling again

Sometimes because of the pain, we can be cold towards others, sometimes because of the pain it is hard for us to forgive and sometimes it leads us to the wrong way and sometimes pain leads us to become stronger in facing the reality of life.

World balance, ito yung tawag sa masaya ka ngayon ang kapalit ay kalungkutan, before I was scared of being happy because I know I will be sad later, I was scared to fall in love again because I know I will be hurt later. 

One (1) year later when I finally decided to come home and I miss my hometown a lot, my friends prepared a celebration for me as well as a celebration for the new year since it was December 31, 2012.

I was really feel free as I drunk and dance to that loud music and my confidence was really high, sabi nga nila mas nakakaganda kapag na broken hearted ka haha, kaya feeling ko napakaganda ko dahil nga lasing na ako. 

I already moved on, I don't feel the pain and hatred anymore but I was still afraid, I was still afraid to give my trust and my heart to someone who might take advantage of my vulnerability again.

Hindi ako lasingera pero kahit anong inom ko, hindi ako madaling nalalasing so I was still conscious when someone was dancing next to me and sit next to me when I decided to take a rest from dancing. 

"Mabuti nakauwi kana" He suddenly approached me, I just nodded since I don't really know him personally. He is a friend of my friend and I know his name but I know nothing more than that. 

It was a bit awkward kasi kami lang dalawa ang nakaupo, since nasa sayawan ang mga kaibigan ko, he suddenly cleared his throat sabay sabing " Masaya akong nakauwi kana" I just stared at him blankly, and the memories from the past seemed to be repeated, I suddenly felt afraid that was why I stood up and dance again with my friends, but to my surprise he was dancing while smiling at me, hindi ko tuloy mapigilang mapa kunot noo "Anong trip nya" sabi ko sa sarili ko.. 

Everyone was shouting because it was 1 minute left before 12 oclock pero yung iba nagpaputok na ng fireworks kahit wala pang 12 oclock, it was 10 seconds and we were shouting while counting, but someone caught my attention, that guy he's just standing next to me while staring at me, bigla naman akong na conscious, and to my surprise.. 

He kissed me exactly at 12 Am at January 1, 2013 under the fireworks, yung pakiramdam na nagbunyi ang langit haha, I was so shock that I couldn't even moved, hindi ko man lang sya nasampal kasi nga yun yong nakikita natin sa teleserye diba.

" Sabi nila, kung sino ang makakasama mo sa new year, sya ang makakatuluyan mo, and I am looking forward to that day would come" And then he left, napanganga naman ako, yung literal na nganga talaga. 

Syempre tapos na ang new year at pinatay narin ang music pero nandun pa rin kaming lahat at nag kwentuhan except sa kanya, He suddenly left and disappeared. 

Kaya ayun tinutukso na naman nila ako, I just ignored them since wala naman akong kilig na na feel kahit pa hinalikan nya ako, it was just a smack, just so you know haha. 

It was morning pero ang inabot ko pa rin ay tukso, " pwede pala yun kahit hindi  jowa pwedeng halikan??" parinig nila sa akin, hindi ko nalang sila pinansin and I went to the store to buy some load, at to my surprise andun sya nakatambay, not him yung kagabi, yung boy nung last year. 

He was staring at me while smiling, iwan ko sa kanya bakit nakangiti, " Nakauwi kana pala? kaya pala ang iingay kagabi eh ??" Sabi nung tendera, I just smiled 

" Iba parin talaga kapag nasa lugar kung saan lumaki ka, mas komportable" I answered, " Oo naman, teka diba boyfriend mo sya ?" Wow, hindi po pala updated si Ali, napalingon ako kay ano, hayun ang lawak ng ngiti. 

" Ay naku hindi po, matagal na po yun" sagot ko nalang.

" Pero pag niligawan ulit kita? sasagutin mo ulit ako walang duda" Hes confidence, He was so annoying he was really different from the person I know the other year, umirap nalang ako at umalis na. 

________________________Time went by very fast and it was February 14, 2013 when he officially courted me (Yung si Ano, yung humalik sa akin nung new year). 

Pero binasted ko kaagad sya, I don't want to give him hope, I don't want him to wait until my broken heart completely healed, I don't want him to become a rebound, because I might falling for him and I WAS AFRAID OF FALLING AGAIN… 

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Good morning read.cash Family, I hope you all doing good everyday as we go on in our everyday life battle, not just like Ukraine and Russia pero yung araw araw na pangyayari na hinaharap natin, This is the third part of my Diary, haha iwan ko kung bakit nasa akin parin hindi parin nawala but reading every content of it made me smile, kinikilig ako 😅😅

It actually happened a long time ago, 2011 and 2012 and 2013 this was my teen days haha puppy love days.💚💚

Anyways, to my lovely supporters hehe, SPONSORS, COMMENTERS, LIKERS, VIEWERS,SUBSCRIBERS , Thank You is not just enough to show how I am grateful and blessed because of you guys.
Thank You for supporting me always.

Disclaimer:

All parts and contents are mine and are purely based on my personal learning experiences, personal thoughts, and personal opinions. This article is mainly intended for entertainment purposes only.

This is me @Dawn_Dii , saying have a good day ahead. 💚💚

Date Published: March 3, 2022