I'm here to stay @theramdomrewarder

30th of January 2022

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Writing is not my strong point, I am struggling with this and simply trying to read and learn more so I could make more impact through my writing. I sometimes write here, go for a few weeks then come back again but I'm tired of doing that. I wanna be a stable writer here and I don't want it to be all talk but my words must be seen in my actions as well. I don't want want be a dog chasing cars, I don't want to be a person without direction, amd I don't want to write aimlessly. Here I am trying to find a purpose in life.

I remember the resolutions I wrote regarding the new year and how promising they all seemed. I thought it was gonna gonna easy but life proved to have a greater plan, life proved to be tough and tougher. I wanted this year to begun differently, and wanted to proceed with my goals with the same enthusiasm I began with from the first day of the new year but things turned out differently. These drastic change of vents made me weary, made me lose hope and made me resort to suicide. In the end I didn't commit suicide anymore but found out something called purpose and a purposeful life.

"A life without purpose is meaningless"

Life is about finding a purpose and having a reason to live, I wanted to commit suicide at some point but learnt more lessons in the process. I realised that no matter how tough life gets, I should be prepared to be tougher than the challenges it brings to my door step. It may not sound easier than it actually is, but I was able to change my mind regarding committing suicide and I'm beginning to see life from another perspective. In fact, I realised that I do not have the right to commit or attempt to commit suicide because I have the right to live. Taking my own life would be ridding myself of the freedom given to me by God, this may be punishable in the after life. That's like living a life of zero finance and not enjoying myself here, and at the same time suffering in the afterlife.. that'd like living a life of vanity with no meaningful end.

I wanna say a thank you to two special people- @JustMyRambles01 and @Theblackdoll for encouraging me to not commit suicide. I felt really down at that point and couldn't think of any solution, I simply wanted to end it all. I tried so many things but nothing seems to be working hence I couldn't think straight anymore. Bongs are still weird but I'm trying to be weirder by not giving up.

I know we need to talk- I'd contact you guys pretty soon so you could perhaps advice me on what what do and blah blah...

I wanna say that I'm back fully on read.cash, im here to stay and I'm not leaving any time soon. Though I may not write everyday but will do so about three or four times in a week, while trying to improve my writing skills. I'd be more interactive and will try to have some fun during my time here.

I do hope the @TheRandomRewarder will favour me and say a hi to me!