My Happily Never After

At first, it felt like a dream come true. Finally, a storybook ending that I’d been praying all these years for. A fairytale. I thought maybe all the heartbreaks and pain in the past were worth it because they brought me to you. I guess my head was in the clouds. Just like Icarus, I was flying too close to the sun. And as it turns out, what comes up really must come down. You’re my happily never after. A dream not meant to come true. A wound that will leave a scar. A painful memory that I’ll relive in my head and my heart over and over again. I’ve been replaying every single moment I had with you in my head, trying to figure out where everything went wrong, wondering if there was something I could’ve done differently. And that’s what hurts the most: Wishing I knew better. Maybe then you would’ve stayed. But I realized that we can’t turn back the clock. We gotta keep moving forward to better days ahead. We became a bad idea when we stopped bringing out the best in each other. The word “toxic” gets thrown around a lot lately, but we were the exact definition of it. And that’s why I don’t blame you for leaving. But I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you to stay. I’m sorry I pushed you away. And there’s a lot more things I’m sorry for, but what I’m most sorry for is that I hurt you. I hurt the only person that cared about me, a person that cared about me more than I do for myself. “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” — Dr. Seuss Just know that no matter where life takes you, you’ll always have a piece of my heart. I hope that someday you find the happiness that you deserve, even when it’s not with me. I guess I’ll be okay knowing that you’re okay. I’ll love you forever and always.