Maybe, I'm just impatient.

Hey, it's been a while or should I say it has been months since I open this account. I have been busy being active on my second account but I found it a waste to disregard the first account I made since I discovered this platform, I come to realize to post here also from time to time. Who knows if I will still be noticed, right? Maybe, you didn't know me anymore since it has been so long since I didn't post anything here for many months.

But hey, this is still the Ching who was once a spammer who learned to be a good writer but still became an inactive user, which is claiming back the journey that I left behind here. Well, @OfficialGamboaLikeUs did it, too. She has recovered back her old account and befriended Rusty again there. I'm also thinking the same way with her now. Just make this one alive again even if I can only post here every other day and not regularly.

Well, okay, wish me luck. Okay? Let me just share something about what happened to my life lately. I just got no one to share about it but here and in noise.cash. Teehee.

So, how are you, fam?

It's surely been a while. I also get too busy with my life. I resigned from my job and went back home here in my hometown. Yet, the network signal isn't good there. I have to rent a room in a rental house in the city since I only do freelance work online to get a living.

I have also decided to continue my studies though I'm already 4 years late than my batchmates. They are already marching on stage, receiving their diplomas, wearing their togas, and tossing their hats while I'm still stuck on applying for a scheduled of entrance examination in the only public school here in our place that is still open for upcoming first-year college students.

My plans are moving, yet anxiety still can get me.

I have planned this for so long and 2 years to be exact. Well, unfortunate events happen in between the planning, and my schedule got delayed. Other public schools here in our place have finished conducting their entrance exams for the upcoming first years already. I'm still lucky there is still one school that is still open but it is not a guarantee that I can proceed successfully to college this year.

I fill up a Google Form for their admission link but there is no response yet until now. It has been over a week already but still, nada. I have no other choice but to submit the files, they require before taking an entrance exam, in there physically. I went there at that school the other day just to drop off my files in a brown envelope at their drop box at the entrance. The examiner looked at it and drop it in their dropbox when he saw that the files is complete and said that I'll just wait for their email to when can I take the exam.

Even if I can take the exam, I'm still not sure if I can pass.

So yeah, if I ever take the exam and I can't pass, what's next? It is the question that is filling my thoughts now. I'm even having second thoughts if I will still wait for it or just give it up already. Then, I'll just practice my English Speaking Skills and apply them to a Call Center company.

I know that I should be patient to wait for more days and just prepare for it but I'm quite an overthinker. I can't handle my overthinking tendencies, and that's why I'm writing my thoughts here to let them out. I can't talk it out to someone because I'm alone here in my rented room and my friends are quite busy at their school and their work.

I should have calmed myself down, I know that.

Nevertheless, thanks to anyone who can read this and someone who can welcome me back. I'm hoping to be more active here again and make more engagements with you.

• The lead image was edited in Canva.

• The photos included were mine unless specified.

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