@CarnessialOnNoiseApp 19 May 2022

In a conversation, it is always polite to talk to someone, not talk at a person without feedback. This is what the first chapter of The Resilience Breakthrough starts with: surrender the one-up relationship. The first of the seven tools of relational resilience is to have a discussion with someone with the intent to let the other person feel at ease and make them included instead of refusing to let them say a word. The way this works is by being on the same level as them or by letting them be a level above yourself. An example of this is if there is one other person that you are having a conversation with and there are only two chairs: one is a plain wooden chair and the other is a luxurious cushion chair. Offer the cushioned chair to the other person. It shows that you care about what the other person has to say, especially when the other person is distressed and deserves to be given a sense of comfort. There is normally a hierarchy in relationships, whether it is husband and wife, parent and child, boss and employee, or teacher and student. Our societies have taught us to be competitive and learn to be a bigger person than others. If we choose this route, it means that we think of ourselves as more important than we think we are. If there is someone who is either having a bad day and needs some support or someone who had just gone through a tragic event and absolutely feels like a failure, they are already feeling down on the hierarchy of success. If you truly love someone, you should never keep them in a low level of state of mind. There is a business company in which one of the co-founders, David Packard, introduces the "11 simple rules". These rules are as follows: 1. Think first of the other person. 2. Build up the other person's sense of importance. 3. Respect the other person's personality rights. 4. Give sincere appreciation. 5. Eliminate the negative. 6. Avoid openly trying to reform people. 7. Try to understand the other person. 8. Check first impressions. 9. Take care with the little details. 10. Develop a genuine interest in people. 11. Keep it up. These rules were meant to apply to his work culture where the employees were given more attention by the top executives, but these rules fit perfectly as "11 simple rules to maintain better relationships with people". A good way to implement this technique is to approach your family, friends, coworkers, and well-meaning strangers with the attitude of surrendering the "higher-up relationship". The goal is to make other people feel better about themselves. It will be beneficial for yourself and anyone who deserves praise instead of criticism. In each and every post of every chapter I go over, I want to share a link to the book which I have bought the book from. This is an affiliate link, which means that if someone purchased a book from the website using my link below I will receive a small compensation as a token of gratitude. It also supports the author who made the effort to write this book to help millions of people who struggle with their own personal problems. The link leads to the physical copy of the book, but there are other reading options as well such as audio or digital: https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B00M0R19RE&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_XJ8BVMBNG5D4ZAS88JQ7&tag=carnessial-20 Image by Pezibear from Pixabay