@Bithan
edited
She and I
You have the voice of angel. But she never heard you. Your words are full of wisdom . But she never understood you. Your eyes are most remarkable tales. But she never noticed you . **She isn’t me .** I hear you . Your voice soothes my ears. Like the sound of waves at sunset crashing into shore. I understand you. Your words , full of wisdom. Open up my mind to new perspective. I notice you. Your eyes embody an ocean. Endlessly glistening off the sun’s reflection. Every time I look into them. I fall madly in love with the remarkable tales they have to tell.
12 comments
The punctuationn makes it hard for me to focus on the words. I would pay more attention to it. The tool Grammarly can help you with it. If not it's better not to use them at all. @Heartbeat1515 this one is for you.
Ok thank you for your suggestions.. I'll try my best.. And sorry..
You can still edit if you want too.
Yeah.. But I'm sick😞. So I can't post properly . I try that too. So now I'm not editing.
I hope you feel better soon. I have to reject this for now. I am sorry. We stand for what we mention in our rules but if you still would like to have us as a community for your poem. We will always be here. Probably late for me but I will read.
I am editing.. I hope you guys like this.. And sorry for my mistakes..
This sound better. You can resubmit if you want to.
Which community???
Sorry for the late reply. https://read.cash/c/syt-poems-bd19
I agree with @wakeupkitty regarding the punctuation. It spoils emotion when reading but the content is just nice to me. Try using google reader to read this for you and you'll see what we meant.
Well, perhaps she can simply remove the punctation and the problem is solved. 👍🍀
And add some so there is a chance to take a breath while reading.