It's great to help someone, to obey someone. We should respect others but also those who respect us. Obviously helping someone is not a bad thing.
One thing I clear that:
Learn to say "No" is not only for people, it's also for work, it's also for sins, it's also for things. It's not difficult to say "NO" for those people who set their priority of life. It's easy to say "NO" for someone who has understood his life or understood himself.
Almost 70% people hesitate to say No to others. So, How to say No when you don't want to say yes?
I tell three reasons "why it's so difficult to say No"?
We hesitate or scared to say "No":
We are afraid that if we forbid someone, he will get angry with us. We kill our own happiness to please others. When we listen to others, we forget whether we are happy or not. And obviously at that time, we ignore ourselves. That's the main reason, we ignore our value, we ignore our importance, we ignore our happiness just because of those people who just used us. We spend hours doing other people's work and leave our work in the middle.
Believe me when we obey those people, we are good and when we say No for Something they definitely off their mood.
You want to feel "Accepted":
Mostly people thought that we obey someone, then he accept us, love us. Otherwise, he's hated us. Here the biggest problem is self-esteem. Means to say , we lack confidence. Our minds are set on the fact that when we listen to the people, they will like us.
Actually, there is a reason to feel that way. We have been trained in this way since childhood. Children start developing self-esteem at very young age. When a child deny to his parents then parents react to be angry with him. So a child thought that I obey everyone otherwise they will angry with me.
No doubt , we obey our parents, our people. But deny to those who just used us. Who just need us in difficult time. But in happiness way, they forget us.
Stop thinking that if we work for someone then they will accept us otherwise not. It's our life, firstly importance to ourselves. Then other people's come in our life.
You feel guilty after saying "NO" to someone:
If we say "No" to someone then we feel like a criminal. We then think if we refuse to semeone, we will commit a great sin.
We start thinking over and over that if we refuse someone, we don't know what they will think of us.
Beware of these things or these overthinking. It's our right to say "No" to those who not deserve, who just used ourselves.
Concluding thoughts:
The art of happiness is dedicated to make your life easier by providing you with the knowledge how human behaviour works. Development of personality is the best thing that you could do for your better self. Personality development is the key to Social access and general happiness.
Saying "NO" is not always easy but sometimes it's necessary. And you need to train yourself for that.
Learning to say "No" without rude will definitely improve your social life. Thoughts of overthinking skip in your life and I'm sure thats the best reason for your happiness.
Help others but only those who deserve it
I hope you like to read this article. Stay blessed stay happy.
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I check the plagiarism. All words written by myself. :)
Peace .....
It's really hard for me to say NO especially to my family and friends when they ask for a favor. So, I think this is what I need - to learn saying NO in a nice way.