@Athaliah
You might hate me after reading this... Hello, my ReadCash family. I've been extremely busy lately, and even weekends refuse to let me take a break. It's been quite exhausting, but that's just the reality of being a working adult. I feel like I have no choice in the matter.
Yesterday, as I was about to close my Facebook app, I stumbled upon a life update post from one of my closest friends from high school. It brought back a flood of nostalgic memories for no apparent reason. I recalled my past self, a timid, simple, and cheerful individual. I didn't care about judgment or pressure. If I failed at something, I would dust myself off, disregarding the consequences, and just smile as if nothing happened. I wasn't afraid of what the future held or worried about tomorrow. I simply lived life to the fullest. Back then, I didn't concern myself with the flaws of others or my own. Who was I to judge? I genuinely liked the person I was. However, as I transitioned into adulthood, everything around me became clearer. A simple mistake turned into a big deal, and even the smallest mess became a major issue. I started belittling and judging myself and others, fully aware that it wasn't right. I despise this feeling because it doesn't align with who I truly am. What's worse is that I no longer find joy in others' successes or offer them support. Instead, I compare myself to them and try to outshine or surpass them. I'm done with this. I no longer want to feel this way. Why can't I be genuinely happy for others instead of being consumed by jealousy or envy when they succeed? To improve my behavior, I've taken the initiative to watch videos that promote self-love, positivity, and provide guidance on dealing with negative emotions. However, I have discovered that implementing these teachings in real life is more challenging than I initially anticipated, and I sometimes feel that it is a waste of time. In short, I was looking forward to the changes I might encounter in life, but I ended up changing more than I expected. I despise the person I've become. Athaliah💚
6 comments
Obviously I don't know you personally but I won't hate on you for what you have done in the past. It takes a lot to admit to flaws you mentioned in yourself. The most important thing is you have realized this and wanted to change this behavior. It's not a waste of time, maybe a different approach is needed is all. You have it in you, just find your past self. Find peace within yourself and don't worry about stacking up against others. Hugs 🤗 to you, change can happen again for you :)
Your message made my day, you're indeed right😭 I am actually crying right now. I am happy because someone was able to understand my situation. I am glad to read such motivating words from you Sir. Thank you so much Sir!
Your welcome just know your not alone many people go through these same feelings. I can relate because I have been there myself and have went through it more than once. One can beat themselves up for what they could have done or thinking bad luck attracts them.It's best to take the positives we receive and hold onto them. Just getting out going for walk or just hanging out in nature can do wonders. We all need to do things that fill our physical and mental being. We should surround ourselves with a circle of friends and family that are positive influences on us. We have to rid ourselves from those who surround us we negatives. I struggle the most with meeting new physical friends and my family members are not close by. I rely mostly on virtuals because I have a hard time making new friends physically. I'll admit I know the answers but don't take the actions. I'll tell you one that I haven't done. Going to church embracing our Lord Jesus Christ and becoming involved with the community of people there. I have my reasons why I haven't done that but it's not because I don't want to. Anyways I hope this helps you and is useful to you. I'm glad my previous message made you happy, I hope this one helps as well. Take care🤗 🤗 🤗
We all become like that at one or some point because we have those emotions, but thanks to the strength of self control not to dwell on it so much that we only do not damage others but ourselves. May you find the grace to be the person you truly dreamed of. In Christ yes it's possible, you've done it before. You can do it again.
Thank you so much🥺, those are the emotions that I never wanted to have and I guess I don't have the choice but to control and deal with it. 🙏😌
Going through difficult moments is part of the life of any human being, it is necessary to know the best version of ourselves (if we decide to awaken it and not stagnate), I understand that you feel bad about yourself because although the world is cruel, we can always give it the return to the situation with the help of our personality, but if it is a negative personality then it will not change for the better... Seeing that kind of "self-help" is not bad, but it will not get you out of that emptiness that you feel, because it is more of the same, what has helped me is God, and only God can get you out of that pit that you never believe get out, but if you look for a way out of that problem in the same world that gave it to you, then you will achieve nothing. It is my humble advice, seek God, Christ in his one and true church, and if you have faith you will notice the great change in your life. Wish you all the best.