@AlmostSand 13 December 2021

It has been a relief week. I took my time to think, read, watch movies and series; charging batteries and creativity. But I have been around here some days, reading you and making comments when I felt like. This I did helped me to stop what I knew was coming: That kind of blocking. Somehow I learned to notice when that blocking is coming to my mind and I'm capable of stopping it. I even could analyze how it started last time it hit me strongly: See, the normal way my mind should work when I wake up is finding a reason to get up from bed and to be fresh and positive. Well, two years ago I was doing the opposite: I used to wake up and while I walked to the bathroom I was thinking of reasons not to feel happy, but angry and sad. Reasons living wasn't worth it. And I did that everyday until the only way I felt confortable was being alone, in a room with no light... I could spend the whole day waiting for nightime. I neither wanted to eat nor to talk to anyone. I used to do my work and to study on automatic mode, without thinking or enjoying anything. That was from the inside, 'cause in the outside I looked normal. Just the same quiet person I've always been. So, everytime I feel stressed or that I'm under too much pressure, I just cut out what I know could be feeding and triggering that "blocking" and take a rest to think about why is that affecting me. It isn't the best way to handle it, but it is what I can do for now. (Note: I don't want you to get worry or scared about this part. I haven't felt that way for a long time. I feel great now, for many reasons) I now feel more strong and healthy, I even was the one in my house who didn't get the flu last week. Yes: My sister, mom, grandma and aunt... All four got sick. They're fine now. But, me? Not even a sneeze! In fact, I remember 2020 when doctors said that stress was a factor for people being more vulnerable. And now that we're all fine, this weekend we started putting all in order for Holidays. A little late than usual. Normally everything is ready since november. We gotta hurry this week! #english