Gut instinct

I hate being right... when it comes to my gut feeling about people. Makes me seem judgmental. Which I'm not, I swear.

But for some unexplainable reason, just by looking at someone whom I have never met or been introduced to will set off some alarm in my gut and will give me a strong feeling to dislike them.

I know it sounds almost judgmental. And it's awful.

If it were just one instance then I could probably dismiss what I felt. But it's happened many times over, and each time I was, unfortunately, right.

What's more uncanny is that I often just look at that person from afar and get the unpleasant feeling in my gut, which automatically transmits to my brain which tells me that at some point in time this particular person will be up to no good.

I've tried to kick myself many times when I get this signal because at the back of my mind, I know it's unfair to judge someone before I can even get to know them, or be introduced to them!

But it's been said that we need to trust our gut because more often than not they're right on the money.

Proving me wrong

And because of this, I often appear aloof to people I'm meeting for the first time. The signals plus my natural wariness for strangers does not make for a good first impression.

Do I avoid these people totally? Not really. But I try to limit my interactions with them as much as possible. We can exchange pleasantries or some mundane stuff, when in situations where talking is unavoidable. Just don't expect me to become chatty or for us to suddenly be best pals.

I do try my best to get to know the person by observing them from afar. Sometimes, I get to a point where I'm ready to forget my initial reaction to this individual. But then over time, I'll find out my dislike for them is not unfounded.

As disappointing as it is to learn that person did something terrible or horrible to someone else, therefore validating my first impression of them, I'm always grateful to have kept my guard up.

Never mind if people think me snooty or unfriendly, it's self-preservation.

Guard up

We all want to believe there is good in everyone, even the most evil person. But it's always good to be aware that someone can get you into trouble or do something bad to you so you have to be on guard.

Majority of the time, the wrongdoing is done to someone else, but how am I supposed to know who? So, there's never an opportunity to warn people about this individual because I only have my gut feel to base it on.

Case in point: when I was assigned to cover Congress, there was this reporter, somewhat popular because he's funny, who I was going to be introduced to. I first saw him in the doorway and the gut feel kicked in.

It's hard not to interact in a media room, even on a limited basis so I get to know the guy little by little. He's kind enough, polite enough, a bit brash, but a good journalist.

A few years later when I was about to be transferred to the newsroom, I learned he was involved in corrupt practices, acting on behalf of a congressman.

Like I said the wrongdoing doesn't have to involve me, but it will certainly be committed by that person who I didn't feel good about the first time. Gut instinct right!

Case 2

Then there is my cousin's wife. As friendly as she projected herself to be when I first saw her, something didn't feel right with her. I felt there was something put on about her.

Fast forward to several years later, I get the news from the family grapevine that my cousin was seeking to dissolve their union because she had hooked up with another man!

I feel so sorry for my cousin because he's the one that's been taking care of the kids and they are so attached to him. But he's been locked out of their home and hadn't seen the children for a long time.

Right again the second time...

Is this a curse? This knowing that a total stranger can do harm or wrong to another at some future time?

I pray not to encounter any more people that I'll feel strongly about. Because it's not a good feeling or knowledge to have.

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