@zellypearl 17 May 2021

Befuddled

Image https://pixabay.com/photos/people-couple-hug-love-man-woman-2576947/ Sidney walked up to the kitchen counter, hugged me from behind, and whispered the words; **Hey beauty! Good morning** I smiled and returned his greetings. I was busy making breakfast when he came to distract me with his early morning romance. Sidney has a way of making me feel like I am the best thing that has ever happened to him. Though I doubted his love for me at first but over time, it was all clear to me how much he cared about me. I did love Sidney even when I couldn't tell him. He knew I did I guess because men always have a way of telling when a girl loves them even when they don't voice it. He called me one evening and told me he wanted to see me and that we should arrange a place to meet up. I didn't wanna show up. I was scared about not liking him again if I eventually see him. But I also wanted to know what he looks like in reality. Sidney and I spoke a couple of times on mobile but we never met face to face until that night. When he called me out, he declared his love for me which I didn't even see coming. He had his way of doing things and I am always blown every time. He told me how he liked me, how our normal conversations turned into something else. How he was careful not to tell me until he was convinced that I had at least a fair reciprocal of whatever it is he was feeling. He said when he finally got what he wanted and was convinced, he had to approach me and not waste more time or let the chances slip away. I accepted Sidney's proposal, of course, I mean I liked him and I didn't see any reason why I shouldn't like him. Physically he was okay, mentally, spiritually, and otherwise. I had no reason for not liking him so I gave in. My mind already accepted him and so did my heart even my mouth confessed it. We got married a few months after. And not for once has Sidney proven me wrong about his love for me. It had always been new and intoxicating every day. Early that morning, when he came to hug me, I felt something was up. So after returning his greetings, I asked him what was up and why he was up so early. It was about 4 am, I just got up earlier to fix breakfast and do a few things before the day finally breaks. When Sidney got up to use the convenience, he noticed the kitchen lights were up and I wasn't in bed. He came to check out and behold I was there. I asked him why he was up so early and he threw back the same question to me. ***Why up so early?*** come on, I have always told you not to stress yourself this way. 5 am is not too bad for you to wake up and prepare for the family, but 4 am is what I don't like. You need rest, Rita. How many times do I have to tell you this? How do I say it for you to believe me and also accept this? Don't stress yourself too much. Come on let me help you with that No no no, I quickly cut in. You go rest while I finish up with this. Go go go, I hurried him out of the kitchen. I knew he wasn't going to bed again still, I had to find my way and get him out of the kitchen. Sidney left the kitchen and waited for him in the room. I never showed up until 5:30 am when I was done with all the kitchen chores. He wasn't happy about it but he couldn't do anything either to stop me. This was totally on me and I had no problem staying up or waking up that early to set things in other. I was used to it, my system was used to it too. So there was nothing Sidney could do to stop it although I know he honestly cares for me. ***Fatigued!*** That was the right word for what I was feeling. Sidney blamed me for not listening to him. He told me how much I needed rest and not to stress myself too much but I wouldn't listen. Now I am tired and exhausted. He had to spend some time giving me a proper massage. He does that many times when I finish up with household chores. He usually offers to help but I wouldn't let him, so the only way he felt he can pay in place of not helping out was to give me a good massage to relieve me of some of the stress. After giving me a thorough massage that morning, Sidney told me that there was something he wanted to discuss with me. I earlier sensed something was up. I was worried as to what Sidney wanted to speak to me about. What is it? I hope everything is good. Yes, darling, everything is just fine. I wanted to let you know that we will be having a business trip to San Diego and we will be staying there for a few days or perhaps a week. I wanted to know if that would be okay with you?. I can't do otherwise and whatever you say is what I will act on. I was a little sad and worried after Sidney told me about his trip. As much as I wanted him to stay and not leave, I also wanted the best for him and our family. I sluggishly told Sidney that it was okay even when I had a divided mind. I told him how its fine that he should join the trip. Sidney told me he was leaving two days after the day he told me about it. That soon? I busted. Now I was getting even sad and I was missing his presence already. Who would wake me up with his sweet smell every morning? Who would give me a warm and reassuring warm every morning in the kitchen? Who would give me a thorough and good massage to relieve me of stress? I was beginning to think and ponder on so many things. Should I let him go? Would it be the best thing to do? Or should I rather become selfish and not let him out of my sight? Whatever be the case, the decision is mine to make as he said and I was left contemplating about what to do and the choice to make. ***The End...*** @zellypearl