The struggles of a stay at home mom

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Written by
2 years ago

Never in my whole life I have imagine to be a full time mother in the future. When I was younger I always dream to be working at an office, get home and get a kiss from my kids and husband. That was always been my plan all along because I don't want to be dependent to my husband when it comes to finances. But destiny has a different plan all along.

I am already a regular employee at the company I am working when I got pregnant. Although it was unexpected but of course I accepted it wholeheartedly. The company I am working with is very considerate and doesn't have problem with my situation. I applied for all the benefits I could get and continue working until I took my maternity leave. I was back after 60 days but it has been so hard to leave my newly born child. That time, my mother was there to take care of him for the meantime until we found someone who could fully take care of him. My husband was working abroad too so there isn't someone who can take care of him. Meanwhile my mother in law wasn't in good condition as she was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure. That lead me no choice but to resign from work after 3 months after getting back to it.

It has been more than a decade since I decided to be a full time mother. Honestly speaking, I could say that I love it from the bottom of my heart but I would be hypocrite to say that I didn't had a hard time going through it. Thus, today I am gonna share the struggles that I faced all through out my full time mother journey.

No day off (24/7 duty)

When you are working in a field or an office there maybe a day or two for rest days, however being a stay at home you don't get any of it. The obligation for your family should be 24/7. There is no time for rest. I experienced this most specially when my kids were just around 2 or 3. Their age difference was only 1 year and 9 months, so I was like taking care of two babies. It was really hard. I am breastfeeding my youngest while doing my best to attend the needs of my toodler then. The worst part was when one of them is sick. I remember one time that my eldest got sick, and we have to take him to hospital in the middle of the night, the only problem was that I can't take my youngest inside the hospital so we have to bring my mother in law with us to take care of the baby while me and my husband took my eldest inside the hospital. It was a very stressful night but then God has given me a lot of strength to overcome it.

Budgetting is too hard

I used to earn money so most of the time I share the expenses with my husband at an early stage of us being together. Though my salary is way less than him I make sure to contribute when it comes to our finances. Me being an independent woman. But that change of course when I was no longer making money, instead I became financially dependent on my husband's income. At first it was all good since we were living in my in law's house. We also share the budget inside the house and we don't have any investment that time yet so I don't have any problem when in comes to budgetting. Of course as years gone by, the kids are growing so as the expenses too. Taking care of our finances is really making my head ache most of the time. I have to make sure I delegated our expenses well or else we'll end up empty wallet.

Picture credit from Unsplash

No social life

I used to go out with my friends back when I was working and doesn't have a child yet. Like the usual gathering that you do with your colleague most specially after payday expect it that someone will make a plan of going out and of course it is fun chilling out from time to time after a stressful duty. However, when I became committed with my little family, I began forgetting all those stuffs and even ignoring some of my friends. I wanted to focus on my new career that is why I hardly meet some of them. Another factor is that, I live far away from them so it was really hard to meet each other. We can only update on fb very minimal too as I don't update my status there much. Besides taking care of my little ones really takes up my time so updating my status on any social media wasn't my priority.

Depression

I often felt depressed at one point in my motherhood journey. As you can see, being a full time mom takes a lot of extra effort in order for you to be successful. But once you didn't meet the standards, you suddenly questioned yourself. Am I doing the right thing? Or is this supposed to be like this? Sometimes I asked myself is this what I really like? The hard part was that since I am not open with other people from my circle, the burden only surrounds within me. It was an inner battle that I could only win, because if not I would end up cray cray.๐Ÿ˜…

From unsplash

My final thoughts

Despite all the challenges I have mentioned above, I could say that everything I have been through within almost 12 years of being a stay at home mother is definitely worth it. The fun, excitement, struggles and challenges in all those years keeps me stronger and continously gives me experiences and memories that no one can ever take away from me. There is no certain amount that can compensate the hardship I have been. But seeing the milestones and little accomplishments of my children, I could say it was really worth it.

Disclaimer. All the things that are written in my article are purely based from my own experience.

All images used are from Unsplash

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Comments

To stay home 24*7 its really tough. But i respect the mothers who sacrifice their life to happy the family members.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thank you dear:)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The great thing is that you're at least earning a little bit of money from this platform. A stay at home mom may have struggles but taking care of her children and seeing them grow properly makes it all worth it

$ 0.01
2 years ago

True, and I am so thankful for this platform because I am earning my own money after so many years, it might not big but it is already a big help.

Yes that is the boggest reward I got being a stay at home mom, seeing how my kids growing and improving:)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

talagang walang expiration ang pagiging ina. Grabe kung humarap ng mga problems sa life. Talagang fighter sa life. โค

$ 0.01
2 years ago

True, iba ang nanay talaga kaya kudos to all the moms out there:)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The job of a mother is quite a lot and I commend you guys..

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thank you my friend:)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Same with your plan sis, I am thinking to be a working Mom in the future. Yet I don't know if this will happened. Hirap magnahap ng mag aalaga ng bata at the same time kids are different now.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

True yan sis, kung pede lang sana work from home hanggang huli no at least nasusubaybayan mo mga bata kahit nagwowowork:)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

oo sis, iyan actually target ko eh,, home based sana

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It is not easy to be a mother. I myself can only imagine how you feel but I sure bet that it has helped improve you in so many ways. May the Lord make it easy for you. Happy Sunday Yhanne.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thanks future doc Layla:) it wasn't easy but if you learn to love it, eventually it will go easy:)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ganun tlga.. Pero mas mabuti din yun natutuunan mo ng pansin pamilya mo. At least my social media na libangan ๐Ÿ˜…

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Totoo yan sis, at kahit papano nalibang na din ako sa mga earning sites na nalaman ko, sana pala noon pa para di ako naburyong sa bahay๐Ÿ˜…

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Motherhood really is the toughest profession in the world. Depress din ako sis kasi wala along friends sa malapit at napaglalabasan ng sama ng loob but I am grateful na kahit papano may friend na nagrireach out at syempre, nung nagjoin ako dito sa read :) Ang hirap talaga pag nagkakasakit ang mga anak no? Pero ngayon, your sons are growing up well :) I bet you are so proud of them.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Oo sis yun ang mahirap talaga wala kang mapagsabihan kundi sarili na lang, namaster ko na ung self motivation sis, hahaha! Mula college hanggang ngayon puro pampalubag loob ako, in fairness gumana naman. Naku malalaki na sila, 12 at 10 nauutusan na din kaya kahit papano bawas ang gawaing bahay.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Tama sis at dahil mga malalaki na sila you have more time for your self na :)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ahhhhh I really feel how this journey been so hard but worth it. Being a mother and committed to the family is indeed selfless. Kaya nkka proud sa lahat ng mother out there.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

True, syempre kahit yung mga working moms iba rin ang level nila kasi kahit papano they're trying to be a good parent and a good provider as well.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Tama sis ndi naman araw araw may struggles tayo at masaya din naman na nasususbaybayan natin ang mga anak natin araw araw

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Totoo sis, sabi nga nila di araw araw eh Pasko so tanggapin natin ang mga struggles sa buhay, part yan para lalo tayong mahubog:)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

True sis. Ang lahat ng struggles na nadaanan mo sis nakapagbigay ng strong sayo. Yun nagturo sayo na magpakatatag. Maging brave always. Yun naging dahil kung ano ka ngayon kaya sabi ko sa sarili ko thankful ako sa mga struggles ko kasi dami akong na learn.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Tama yan sis ang mga struggles sa buhay part yan ng growing up natin. Kaya wag susuko labarn lang, ganern๐Ÿ˜

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Tama sis. Part talaga sa life natin kaya continue parin ano mangyari.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hirap nga mare pero laban lang. Ako naninibago pa din , namimiss ko yung mga nagagawa ko dati pero alam ko na worth it tong ginagawa ko now na ako nag aalaga sa anak ko. Buti nga kahit nasa bahay at nagbabantay sa anak may kita dahil dito sa read. Subrang laking tulong talaga. Nakakadepress nga na nasa bahay lang , lalo na siguro kung walang pagkakakitaan. Same sayo ayaw ko din maging dependent sa partner ko kaya sa abot ng makakaya ko, kailangan may sarili akong kita para makatulong sa kanya. Struggle man pero worth it โ˜บ๏ธ

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Di ba sis, nakakabagot pag sa bahay lang kaya buti na lang may read ayan kahit papano nabigyan ng kulay ang buhay ko, color green specifically hahaha!

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Nyahahaha sana nga mag color green na talaga mare hahaha Masakit na sa mata palagi pula. Ayy wait, wag pala muna mag green , taub pa wallet ko eh ๐Ÿ˜‚

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Relate ako lahat ng sinabi mo sis.Masaya tayi na kasama anak natin ,naka focus tayo sa kanila but hindi natin maitatangi na napapagod tayo at to tge point nag iisip tayo na wa tayong maitulong when it comes to financial problem ,kaya super thankful ako na nakilala ko si read cash ,kahit kunti lang income ko dito atleast may sarili akong pera na nakakatulong sa mga gastusin sa bahay.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

True sis, masarap talaga ung may sariling income ano, kaya helpful si read at noise dahil kahit sa bahay tayo may konting income, wish ko tumagal pa:)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It's really nice to have your own income. I've been a full -time mom for a few years now because no one cares about my 2 kids. Starting at home, I built a simple rice paddy

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Naku thankful ako kay noise at kahit papano eh may kita, although di naman ako napabayaan financially pero iba pa rin ung kita na galing sayo:)

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Tama ka sis

$ 0.00
2 years ago