Recentering

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Avatar for wakeuplincs
2 years ago

Have you ever been so unsure with/of yourself? With your capacity to make decisions? With your talents? Or skills? Or whatever about yourself?

Such is the case with me now. I have never felt so unsure... about myself.

Sometimes, I question the decisions I've made so far. Why? Why did it come to this? Why am I not happy? Where's the bliss in my life?

No one ever forced me to do something. Not even my parents. But why?

We can't go back. We can't ever erase the past. So we've heard that all we can ever do is to charge forward.

Sure, I find joy in the things that I do. I try to find happiness with my life, with the possessions I've had so far. But there's just something that I am missing.

I may just indulge in poetry, to ease the pain away. To make me feel the emotions once more... That are dying by the day.

Let me just recenter, and go on as if I have not stopped by this lonesome feeling.

People can assume all they want about a person's life. But the person knows best. So one can't ever guess unless he/she is that person.

Alas! My basic needs keep me from thinking about this higher order need. So on I go and earn for a living, to pay my dues, to do what I have pledged to do, to care for my young ones, and to try to paint the face with the smile that's expected.

And life goes on... Mocking you to try some more! Teasing you to smile despite the lackings. And urging you to toil forever until the day you lay down your weary soul.

And I slap myself in the face!

Wake up, Lincs! Wake up!

***

Coffee. I've gone back to coffee. But not anymore GreatTaste White Caramel. I now put nescafe powder, coffeemate, sometimes sugar, but sparingly.

Coffee to the drama!

Anyone?

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