My Monday Hello

Image from Unsplash

Hi, everyone! It’s been a while since I have written a full article. I guess this morning will be a good one for writing.

I attribute the changes to my mood to the following factors, caffeine withdrawal (perhaps it’s more of change of brand), change of season, absence of physical old friends because they are also living their own lives which is very understandable (I myself don’t go to their places because I am also raising my kids), and many more.

I used to go right to my computer upon waking up in the morning. Instead of cooking first or doing home chores, I first turn my computer on and stay with it awhile before cooking or making the bed. Maybe with the exception if I wanted to prepare coffee first to go with my early morning writing.

But it was altered. In addition to the factors mentioned above, it was also when my children got sick weeks ago that I started sleeping more than writing more. It was good on some days but has lesser economic value for me and my family.

So here I am now, trying to write more again. I will have to let go of neighbor-ing (haha) in order for me to write more instead. Because, you know, neighbor-ing is life (haha again).

I promised my closest neighbor that I wouldn’t be coming to them as frequently as I did the previous weeks and she said to wait and see. She was challenging me. Okay, I thought, I can do it!

And so to start the week right, I am writing and more time now with the computer. It’s what I used to be happy about. Wait and see (haha) if it does this week. Hoping so. For the economy!

I used to write at least 1,500 words in a day. When I was battling with my sharks. Writing twice, publishing twice. Writing on the spot. Should I go through the same ordeal before writing like that again? No, please. I don’t have to. It doesn’t have to go again to that point before I realize I had to power write.

I think of all those times I was doing my best to beat the deadline, there should also be some sort of deadline for me. There will be adrenaline rush! Along with abiding with the Parkinson’s law, moving the deadline to a sooner time in order to work faster.

I am reliving my love for writing. There was that time, I can’t clearly remember anymore, when I would punch these damn keys and I would not care for anything than writing. Ibalik and alab ng puso sa pagsusulat. Haha. Tama ba Tagalog ko?

You know why I suddenly stopped mentioning my children’s names? It has somewhat became my brand that I didn’t want to use their names for security purposes. And so I don’t mention their names anymore.

In our school, someone wrote about his/her teacher in a school file and my kids’ names were mentioned. And many have messaged me, it was me whom the student was talking about. Because of my kids’ name. My gosh!

For some reason, I didn’t like it. It was my kids’ alright? They deserve some privacy. And yes, I do not like to be openly addressed whether the story in the school file was good or bad. It was actually a fun recount of the student but I still didn’t want the publicity. The other teachers might get curious about me. I didn’t like that either. Basta!

Right now, my kids are playing. The little girl’s idol is her older brother, the second son. I was angry at them last night because my second son climbed up up high the shelves, the girl followed suit then they jumped to the bed! I scolded the girl so hard and also told the boy off to stop. But during the night, my girl cried because of how I scolded her. I’ll do better tomorrow my sweet child. I’ll talk nicer and softer.

So today, I talk nicely indeed and it feels good to do so. They do listen, even if they appear not to. They are lovely angels and they bring me inspiration to go on despite the challenges of depression. Well, I should know better, I should have more willpower to identify and defeat this dreadful emotional disease. He is with us! Amen!

I will now end this morning write-up and come back later this afternoon. I will be an observer once more. I’ll try to bring anecdotes to my readers. If there still are hahahaha!

Until then, it’s me Lincs