I like you, Dad, when we’re in the province. Not here in the city.

Isn’t it wonderful? Wonderful, meaning full of wonder. That we like people when we’re at certain places? And that it becomes a different experience at other places?

Davies, my son, who just came back from the province last Saturday, went up front to his Dad to say that he doesn’t like him here in the city.

“I like you so much at the province. Not here in the city.” (translated from Ilocano)

I asked my son why but he just repeated the whole sentence. I probed him further but he can’t seem to explain his reasons.

Anyway, I deduced that when they were in the province, the amount of stress was lesser for my husband than when we are here in the city. And so their father was not that hot-headed when they were there.

Right after arriving here last Saturday, they immediately showed pictures and videos of their escapades. I saw them hiking mountains and being scorched by the heat of the sun. I watched them drink like there is no other chance to drink. They were already tanned on the videos that they showed me. They even went to the farm to pasture the carabaos. I saw my son leading one of the carabaos towards a new eating place.

With the relaxed environment there plus the presence of their lolo and lola (my hubby’s parents), I bet their dad did not scold them too hard. It may be because he felt more relaxed there. He knew the grandparents will act more than the parents so he had fewer worries. When we are here he uses both fist and words when scolding the kids. Not to me but to the kids. Whip and words for them.

They weren’t supposed to return yet here if not for my first son’s modules. They were worried that he might actually flunk the quarter. I told them that I thought they will return only by December. I took things seriously so even when they were just joking thru the phone calls, I believed them that they will stay there for more months. I even felt a painful pinch in my heart knowing that they won’t be with us and Denisse for many months. Imagine the remaining days of June, then July, August, September, October, November, December. Five months!

Even though I was somewhat relieved of some pressure, I could not deny feeling some void in my heart. And so when they surprised us last Saturday, I felt glad at the very least. At least I will have someone to help me out with house chores and babysitting. Hubby has no new contract yet so he will stay in the house helping me with many things.

But it will not be long before hubby will really be looking for rockets. After all, he is a male. He feels as if he isn’t productive when staying inside the house. I kept telling him before that it’s an advantage for me because I could at least focus on my thing. Even more, now that he at least understand my qualms. He doesn’t comment anymore about my writing. He lets me be nowadays, which is the best thing so far.

I asked Davies again what his reasons were but he still couldn’t answer me. He just smiles and says that “I love my father there. I like him so much. I don’t like him here.”

Oh well, okay. No more questions, I understand somehow though I am still curious if he has a different story. It will come out some other days why he loves his father in our hometown but not here.

If not for financial constraint, I would bring them home again during the school year vacation. I guess that we will have to wait for better times.

I, too, wanted to hike once more, those mountains and trek those green fields. I wish to go back and reminisce all those childhood memories. The breath of innocence and the springtime of dreams. I had to take a deep breath and hope that the coming years will be more plentiful that I will be able to breakthrough and that we will be able to go home together. Without worries of what to bring home for gifts for elders and for the relatives there.

I wonder what my child’s remark be when we go there again. I wonder whether I am also a different person when we go home. They will see a glimpse of the child in me. They will see sparks that they’ve never seen before. Now that I am having more lines on my forehead. No lines yet but with the frequency of getting angry, there will be in the near future. This may be a check also to be mindful of what we do to our kids.