I have been crying lately thinking about the world as it is. I wish I had woken up earlier, years ago. How I wish I did not waste the best years of my life working, wasting money on things I don't need. How I wished I never got married and had children. How I wished I was still in that hut in the woods one with nature. After all this luxury it's hard to go back to that normal. I tried though, I did my stinking best to make people forget about me. There's a lot I ended and I started to clean up, live a simple life again. I banned the news, tv, radio. Food I consume in case of need and during the biggest part of the day I sleep. At the end of the day I look outside my window and if it's safe I go outside.
I know the way even if it's pitch dark. I search for things I might need. If not today they can be useful later, make a world of difference if it's the trade for what I need most.
Those days electricity, gasoline and water were common goods are over. So is friendship and the confidence everything will be better one day. That day will never come.
The boy continues to grin as I told him to drop it. I had my share of parenting and I cannot say it made me a better or happier person. Children cry, yell, demand and suck all positivity and energy out of you. There was a time they said children are the future, the children are wiser than we have ever been. I never believed that bullshit. All great inventions are the result of earlier generations. The youth is a lazy flock of sheep. The main part of them can hardly read and write and never learned how to count to ten either. Aggressive, hyperactive, unhealthy brainwashed species of humankind without free will and any skills. An animal showed more character than the boy that grinned at me. A stupid grin of a person who could have been an individual if he had been raised in a different time. He kept grinning at me as I took my crossbow and aimed my arrow at him. I couldn't afford to be discovered and knew if there was one there would be more.
The thing about life is one should live it and not think too much. Too much information, knowing too many kills. If surviving is what you aim for not many options are left. Joining a group in a ghetto is an option but if it comes to me I never felt comfortable around others. People are backstabbers and I love myself more than anyone else. It's like that guy, the serial killer Petter in the film 'The Trip' said: I only kill people who are no longer useful to me.
As I passed by what was once a health centre I heard the dog bark at the fence. "Poor animal," I whispered as I heard him growl and next squeak out loud, "he just did his job although the owner forgot about his loyalty long ago."
That dog... The poor beast was at the end of the food chain. He would be eaten by a bunch of hungry people. People who never experienced how it is to have a pet.
Most times, we tend to miss our days of enjoyments when we were still single and searching hahahaha but in all, whether that's our case or not, let us always try to maintain whom we are