How to keep saving? The year 2020 was the first time I set financial achievements. I had no intentions to set them since my finances are always my priority and always have been. At a young age, I did the administration and bookkeeping of my mother's business, my granny kept a housekeeping book she noted every income and expenses in and if she found ten cents she searched for the legal owner no matter what it cost. I learned the value of money at a young age and didn't go for…
Moving on The word "move" I associate with leaving, getting out of somewhere but also with being unwanted. "Move over...", " move it", does it sound positive? It doesn't to me although I always liked to move. Start somewhere new. A new place, new house, new items, new shops. Being anonymous and still looking through the eyes of new villagers or... tourist. Lately, I read noise.cash message where someone wrote, "My travelling came to an end". There are many reasons why we can…
Sweat it out Hormones. They can drive one crazy if they are not in balance. Estrogen for example does. Each human, male and female, has them and they should do one good. Frequently this is not the case and strangely enough, if someone acts differently we hardly think of a hormone imbalance. Did you know the estrogen level drops fast if one is active and drastically while sporting? Did you know during pregnancy the level is a hundred times higher as usually? If you are aware…
Those old days They say it's all done to go back to normal, the old normal but I know it's not true and so do you. The old normal wasn't good enough. They talked about it, signed agreements and want to be the first to achieve them. It doesn't matter if we are small, we do hardly waste, abuse, add to the pollution, killed all the fish but we have to be the first. The fact is no one takes you seriously if you are little. You do not count, don't have a voice not even have one…
Give nothing for a change **Gifts**... You think you make someone happy and achieve the opposite. You do your best, save the food out of your mouth, even go into debts and an unhappy face is your reward. You could cry but say it doesn't matter, you can take it back, change it or sell it on the internet. You thought you did someone good but your 'thank you' is a grumpy, disappointed person who gives you a bad mood. What exactly went wrong? Many say they love to receive a gift…
Goats love to play I saw a programme bout goats. People wondered if goats have horns. Some say they do others say they don't. All goats have horns but they burn them off if they are a few days old. The lamb didn't felt it but had two big holes in his soul. The vet sprayed some blue stuff on it. An elderly lady has 200 goats with horns. She says if you give them enough room there's no need to remove them. Goats communicate with their horns and she feeds those who are higher…
From radio station to microstate **Sealand**... it's one of those mini if not microstates in the world. Most of us never heard of them but a small part does and Sealand is one of them. "Sealand was founded as a sovereign Principality in 1967 in international waters, seven miles off the eastern shores of Britain." What exactly is this country? It is an abandoned fortress, a fortress once called "Roughs Tower" which is located in international water. In 1966 it was a great…
Screaming, crying doesn't help My head hurts so much I could scream. I don't because it won't bring me anywhere. It would only hurt me more. Screaming, crying is pointless. No one cares. My mother does not, dad doesn't neither does the teacher or the children at school. Ellen's mom said it would all be fine. She said it would be but it did not. My back hurts, my head does and my heart does. I feel the pain, the pain no one else does. My mother said she wishes I was never…
There will always be a next wave **Are you already used to the new normal, the new standard and rules set?** Do you still remember how it once was, how it all started one year ago? In polls, people were asked how long this epidemic"l would last. Some said 2-3 months, others one year or even longer. In Dutch we would say "maak je borst maar nat" (literally translated in "you better wet your chest" which means count with the worst). A different coronavirus was announced and…
The curse **The whole family had been cursed** since granny disappeared, at least that's what they said. The family tiptoed through life and thought more than once before they decided if it came to leaving the house. The old villa had hardly been changed since that notable day. The old man wanted to leave it in exactly the same way and after he died and was buried in the backyard no one had felt the need to change anything. The house was the last what was left from her and…
All I ask for is "You can not expect me to take responsibility for it," he said, "I have nothing to do with this case, totally nothing." The truth should be said and as the governor of this committee that was exactly what he did. The squeaking sound from his rubber souls didn't seem to irritate him but those who gathered around the table did. "All I ask for is some support. We set goals and going to stick to it. Is that clear!" The committee didn't make an attempt to answer…
I feel for my children **Today isn't the best day in my life** (not the worst either by the way). I woke up early and after I was able to open my eyes I stumbled into the direction of our tiny living. It wasn't even 6 a.m. and it had been a cold night but I stayed out of bed. I didn't intend to but since the plan was to try to get out of here for some shopping... I hoped it was possible. It's freezing and with at least -10°C it must be possible to drive the car through the…
Are we used to serial killers and rapists? *It's hard to tell what kind of people adore serial killers, serial killers and rapists. To some these monsters who enjoy to harm others, get a kick out of seeing the fear in someone's eyes, are true heroes.* A man killed at least 43 folks, he raped many more of all ages (children and the elderly included and a different race was no reason not to ). He did this for a long time, easily visited two homes a night and he got away with…
How to get away with murder Is there a way? Yes, there is if you play it smart, no one cares about the victim or you as murder or you have a great lawyer, one who loves a challenge, loves to win. The only lawyers I had were those who knew how to charge me high amounts for basically doing nothing. It's how it usually goes. They tell you it's a case they can win, send you one bill after the next and after that... After that, you hardly hear from them. A lawyer is always busy…
Anxiety the black widow He knew at his age it all looked bizarre but he couldn't help. Fear was what held him, surrounded him, stopped him from living his life. He felt how anxious surrounded him, hold his throat. It was as if she sat at his chest and choked him. He had tried to fight her, struggled to get rid of it and there had been a time he had accepted every help he could get. By now he had given up the fight. He was in his fifties and those great days promised to him,…
It's about politics as usual It's cleaning the house again. I never see the dirt my mother talks about. Every day is cleaning day and every day the furniture is piled up. Our house always looks like a mess and it has no time to get dirty. My mother was vacuuming upstairs with one Hoover. She broke it. I had to go with her to the Hoover shop in Rotterdam.. I saw the man look as she showed him what happened. The steel broke. He said it's impossible and she is the first…
How to spend money *To some it is easy but for me, it isn't. To me, it's difficult to spend money. Already as a child, I had a calculator in my head and counted every cent.* For some reason my granny writing down every cent she spent impressed me way more than my mother. The first one survived the war. From a girl with a job, she became a married woman who emigrated to Indonesia alone and spent most of her life alone. In Indonesia, she gave birth three times, saw her house…
The person at the espresso machine She hated her job but like her father said 'one has to make an income'. She felt bitter after year's of making coffee, the fake smiles, pretended happiness and the stupid old espresso machine in the casino she disliked most of all. Empty promises was all she got and nothing else. "Being a woman sucks in every way," she thought, "how come no guy makes coffee? I am sure the dumb machine is not invented by a woman." She leaned against the bar…
Jobless and no skills? Lately many ask what to do, how to make an income. Their main problem seems to be they are jobless, without any education and... skills. A part of them is still young. Others feel at the age of 33 or 39 they can't fall lower and their life came to an end, there's no opportunity to survive. I ask myself how it can be one is without education but also how one can have no skills. Let's be honest most of us had the opportunity to visit the school. Reading…
Is it fair or Is it fair to vaccinate the elderly and sick first? Those people who stay in nursing homes and spent the biggest part of their lives inside, many even in bed? The only risk of getting ill is brought by the nursing staff, the caretakers. Wouldn't it be more logical to start with the group of people who is still active? Those who live alone, take care of themselves and have no one who will drop by and take care of them? The elderly homes no longer exist in the…
So mixed up My mother paints the walls. Just those in the hallways. We have wallpaper in the living. It feels soft like cloth. The other rooms have wallpaper too. For some reason, she's painting the walls of the hallways downstairs and on the two other floors. The dark green is nice but the blue and other colour. I think she was mixing the colours by herself. I don't know what to say but she knows what I think. She says she can read my face. Reading my face is a good reason…
Abortion isn't a crime No matter what about an abortion (*abortus/spontanuos abortion* or *abortus provocatus)* people, society has an opinion about it. What this opinion is is coloured by how one is raised, age, life experiences. The reasons why one is pro or contra is rarely taken objectively. Decisions have to be made or are made at a certain point under certain circumstances. No matter how you put it there will always be someone hurt and frequently whole families fall…
Dizziness Today I feel exhausted. Exhausted I am too after shopping, on Friday's and after a bad night rest. Because of that, I went back to bed because since days my dizziness controls me. I feel it is wiser to take it easy for a change. What did I except? Of course, I can't sleep no matter how dizzy I feel. My head keeps spinning. I tell myself it's fine to lose consciousness for the next two hours or so but that doesn't happen. The light... It hurts my infected eyes, once…
The fight against a painful bladder A bladder infection is not as harmless as some people want us to believe because so many suffer from it. If you are that person, have chronic infections it's hard to function in a normal way, to work, keeping a smile on your face, act normal and have a good night rest. Pain is no fun and this type of pain eats you. The infection will cause fever and it feels as if someone hits you on your bladder every few minutes or... seconds. These are…
A lack of empathy and conscious A sociopath is a person with a personality disorder. S/he can be charming has charisma plus only cares about him-/herself. **Sociopaths are antisocial, can't understand others' feelings**, have a lack of empathy and can be aggressive and manipulative. They are not different from the psychopath and narcissist if it comes to the description and so does autism but a sociopath is the one with the antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). A sociopath…
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